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Honestly I have no idea whether or not I had a good weekend. It was definitely memorable I'll tell you that.
It started at work on Friday. Our Fridays are always super slow because no one in their right mind takes Friday classes. We were really just having fun. Talking and cleaning up to pass the time until our boss Diane came over. I've never seen her come to the Jamba Juice except to order some oatmeal or a smoothie. Today Diane was being a total bitch to me and micromanaging everything because the Jamba Juice marketing people were there inspecting the place. I was sitting there making a stocking list for Monday because we were completely deserted. I had my apron on the counter with the registers on it because it was wet and I wanted it to dry out for a bit while I finished the list. Diane says in front of the marketing people "where is your apron? Put it on right now, you have to have your apron on at all times" THIS BITCH KNOWS I HAVE A FUCKING APRON. She saw me take it off, she knows it's around. I'm not making a fucking smoothie, I'm not doing anything except making a list, I don't need to wear an apron to make a goddamn list. And I've been to real Jamba Juice's and they do not have to wear aprons if they don't want to. But that's beside the point. The point is she would bitch us out over stuff she knows nothing about. Telling Golnoush her greeting wasn't warm or welcoming? Wtf she tells people hello can I take your order. Do people even give a shit? They come for the fucking smoothies, not a ~warm greeting~ and for us to pretend to give a shit about them. Then she told us that the juice machines had to be filled at all times. It was 11:30, we closed in 2 hours. She made us put the juice in them anyway. And she said we couldn't start closing until 1:30, I told her it takes an hour just to take the machine apart, clean it, then put it back together. At that rate we won't be out until like 3:30! And she's just like "well clean it faster." Such a fucking bitch. We started closing anyway as soon as she left: Bitch can't tell us nothin. And instead of getting out hours late we got out right on time.
Then Cynthia drove me to my house to get my stuff and feed Eevee before we left to Willies. At Willies house it was cool. Kim was there, Freya, Willie, Brandon, and these 2 military guys Val and Brian that Willies room mate Alex had sex with. Alex's fiance who just got back from Afghanistan was also there (fucking messy). Cynthia was asking who was driving and Val said that he could drive, Cynthia said if he's driving then why is he drinking and Val was like "It's just one beer, I've driven after drinking tons of beers and I've been fine" then him and Alex's fiance got into a dickwaving contest about how many beers they've drank before driving and Cynthia completely goes off. She starts talking about how her cousin just died in a drunk driving contest and it shouldn't be something to brag about, and it escalates into a screaming match and Cynthia walks out and just sits outside. We took that our our queue to gtfo and head off to our hotel. In the car it was me, Cynthia, Kim, Brandon and Freya. We had a lot of fun in the car except it was awkward that Kim was throwing herself at Brandon religiously. She was talking about how she just freshly shaved her legs and how she wishes she weren't on her period, how she's really flexible. I wouldn't have a problem with this if it weren't for the fact that Kim works with us. Kim's boyfriend also works with us. She basically was on a mission to cheat on her boyfriend with Brandon, period or no period. We got to the hotel and we drank at the hotel and we all walked to Knotts Scary Farm. That shit was not scary and those monsters were lame as fuck. Willie scared me the most out of everyone when he hid in the fog and ran out at me. Cynthia kept saying she hoped there weren't any clowns, there were actually a million clowns. We ended up accidentally wandering into a circus type area with all clowns. It was so sad seeing her clutch Brian's arm in a death grip the whole time we were walking. Her face turned red, I felt so bad for her but you gotta face your fears sometime, right? Val was just on a mission to get drunk. He would make us stop at every place and buy beers for everyone. There was 8 of us, the beers are $10 a cup but he wanted to show off and tell us how he wasn't poor and it's ok if you want to spend money on me. We were all pretty good except for Freya. We gave Freya 2 hits of weed when we were at the hotel and she had a couple shots so she was completely off her ass. She kept leaning on everyone and stumbling around talking about how she was dizzy. Val took that as a message to go after Freya. He kept hitting on her the whole night and trying to hug her and stuff. It was really gross because Freya was not interested in him at all. Kim is all up under Brandon. Every time Brandon manages to get away from her she's all "where's Brandon?! I need to find him!" and runs after him to attach herself to him again. She kept trying to hold his hand but he wouldn't.
We were over Knotts Scary Farm really fast because that shit was lame so we walked back to the hotel room. Brian, Cynthia and Nicole left because they had to be up early so it was just Val, Willie, Brandon, Me, Kim and Freya. We started drinking and smoking. Freya was really fucked up so she got in the bed and Val like jumped on her and tried to get her to go upstairs to his room. I pulled him off and told him nobody's sleeping with Freya except me so fuck off. He got butthurt but he stayed and partied until late. Brandon and I went downstairs while he had a cigarette and when we came back up Kim answered the door in her bra and gave him the "come fuck me" look which was REALLY awkward because we're sharing a room with them. I ended up getting way too drunk and I fell asleep on the bathroom floor because I was really hot and it was cold. Then I woke up and saw that Kim and Brandon totally had sex while Freya was passed out in the bed and I was passed out in the bathroom because their clothes were on the floor and I could see period blood on the sheets. Fucking disgusting. I was too hungover to do anything except judge them as I walked by then crawl into bed and go back to sleep.
Then I woke up and Freya was gone, she left to go buy a bathing suit or something. I fell back asleep. Woke up again. Willie and Val were in the room, Brandon ordered room service. I got a breakfast burrito but I told them I didn't want any bell peppers. I took one bite, ALL FUCKING BELL PEPPERS. So I gave it to Willie and went back to sleep. I woke up again, Willie left with Val. Went back to sleep. Then Brandon woke me up again and told us we had to check out. I'm still hungover as fuck but I manage to pull my life together in time for check out. We get into the car and Freya was like "we're going to LA." So we drove to Beverly Hills. I wanted to go shopping, I really did. But I was so hungover I couldn't even stand up for too long let alone go through shop after shop with Freya. So instead me and Brandon sat on a couch in the middle of the mall and watched football while Freya shopped. Then after that we went to PF Changs and had food and I drank a couple drinks because I'm an alcoholic and I make terrible decisions.
It's just awkward because the whole ride Brandon is not paying Kim any attention. They're barely even interacting. And Kim likes Brandon a lot, she has a huge crush on him. Brandon is just a huge fucking slut and will fuck anyone who will let him. And the worst part is he doesn't wear condoms, ever. There's actually another girl Laura who might be pregnant with his baby right now. So you possibly got another girl pregnant for fucking without a condom, then you go and fuck another girl without a condom WHILE SHE'S ON HER PERIOD. These people disgust me, I don't even know why we're friends. Anyway back to the story. We drove back to Willie's house and honestly at this point I'm sick of Freya. Freya is a really nice person but she's way older than us and it comes out. She's always telling us "Back in china, we do this. Or back in china, we don't do this." Honestly it wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't such a constant thing. Every time we do something she tells us "Don't do that we can't do that in China." Or when we tell her it's not ok to do something, like swerve in and out of someone else's lane while driving, she argues with us that it's ok to do in China. At the restaurant she said the guy was an asshole to her because he asked her if she was done with her food so he could take her plate. Then she tried to get us to not tip him because of it. I tried to explain the tipping situation in America and how it's not good to not leave a tip at all, but she just wasn't getting it and kept arguing with us and got mad when we left tips anyway. Also when was sitting on willies couch and I started bouncing my leg because I was bored and Freya is like "stop don't do that. In china if a man does that he'll be poor, and if a woman does it she'll become a whore." and I'm like "Freya I've been doing this my whole life and I'm not a prostitute yet so I think I'm fine" and she's all "I'm just saying when you have a job interview you'll do that and you won't get the job" and I'm like "Freya, I've had job interviews before I know how to conduct myself. This isn't China. This is America, we're not going to become whores by shaking our legs." She kept pushing it so basically I had to give her the "I'm a grown woman and I can do whatever the fuck I want" talk and she finally dropped it. I don't like people telling me what to do.
Ray the downstairs neighbor was having a party with his biker friends and started texting us to come down. We didn't want to come down because his biker friends are racist homophobic assholes. They act like stereotypical bikers, hypermasculine pricks who are so afraid of ~catching the gay~ if they even breathe the same air as a gay person. He told us his friends had left so to come down. We were totally having fun but Kim was being awkward again. Ray is a fucking slut, he's like Brandon except 10 yrs older. He'll have sex with any girl who will let him. He's forever hitting on me and I'm just turning him down like it's my job. He's used to it though so it's more of a joke now. But Kim is like loving the attention. She asks him for a banana and is all "Mmmm I love bananas" and shoves the banana in her mouth. Ray puts on Willie's sweater and is talking about how his nipples are so hard and he wants to rub them and Kim starts rubbing her nipples. But Ray knows that her and Brandon just had sex last night, and that Kim is only 18 years old. When she was outside smoking with Brandon he told me that he's just joking with her and that he really wants to hang out with me because we both laugh at the same things. I told him we can hang out but we're not having sex, ever, in life. He said he understands but he's still going to try. And I'm just like.
Then his fucking biker friends come back. I was hoping for Sons of Anarchy and I just got bloated old white men with broken dreams of youth.These guy were not hot at all. They're fat and greasy with low budget ass tribal tattoos. Really? What tribe are you white motherfuckers from? Someone please let me know. The slick back hair guy comes through the door and tries to hug Freya and she's like "Excuse me. I'll shake your hand but I don't know you so I'm not going to hug you." Brandon goes upstairs with Willie to get food so it's just us 3 girls and the dudes are just being pigs. One guy asks Kim how old she is then asks her to show her tits. After that we just left because they were obnoxious. Once we got back upstairs Willie realized that we left Brandon's alcohol downstairs at Rays house so I went with him to get it. We walk in and this homophobic biker asshole is like "Seriously??" and I look at him and I'm just like "Seriously, what?" and he doesn't say anything. We walk over to Ray and ask for Brandon's vodka and he said Brandon already came down and got it. Then Ray goes into this drunken monologue how I should just give him a chance. How his bed is always open and I shouldn't keep shooting him down like this. He tells me that he has ropes and handcuffs and he'll break my back, he'll have me shaking, he'll have me calling him honkey and all this crazy ass shit. And I'm just like "RAY, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS FIVE STAR PUSSY SO STOP RAPING ME WITH YOUR WORDS." and he's just like "I'm just saying, if you want me I'm here and you know where my bedroom is." He's such a goddamn whore, it's not even attractive. Then when Willie and I are leaving out the door the same guy who was talking shit when we walked in goes "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." And Willie is just like "Don't worry, it won't happen again. Ever." And we leave. We're not even going to entertain these dickheads. The dude goes running to Ray saying that we were talking shit while we were leaving. Um you're the one who decided to be a bitch and talk shit while we were leaving and then get mad when something is said back to you? Is your little ego that fucking fragile?
So Ray comes up and completely goes off on Willie saying no one is allowed to talk shit in his house. We tried to explain to him what happened but Ray is clearly drunk so Willie just gives up and goes "Ok, I'm sorry Ray can you just leave?" because Willie's room mates were sleeping and we didn't want to wake them with his drunken screaming. I wanted to stay longer but Freya was really tired. I kept telling her "Freya, you don't have to wait for me. Just go home and I'll get a ride in the morning." But she wouldn't, she was like falling asleep at the table so finally I just went to her and asked her to take me home because that's clearly what she wanted. Seriously fuck Ray though. I'm still pissed off that he thought he even had a chance with me. He doesn't have enough sophistication or money to fuck me.
It started at work on Friday. Our Fridays are always super slow because no one in their right mind takes Friday classes. We were really just having fun. Talking and cleaning up to pass the time until our boss Diane came over. I've never seen her come to the Jamba Juice except to order some oatmeal or a smoothie. Today Diane was being a total bitch to me and micromanaging everything because the Jamba Juice marketing people were there inspecting the place. I was sitting there making a stocking list for Monday because we were completely deserted. I had my apron on the counter with the registers on it because it was wet and I wanted it to dry out for a bit while I finished the list. Diane says in front of the marketing people "where is your apron? Put it on right now, you have to have your apron on at all times" THIS BITCH KNOWS I HAVE A FUCKING APRON. She saw me take it off, she knows it's around. I'm not making a fucking smoothie, I'm not doing anything except making a list, I don't need to wear an apron to make a goddamn list. And I've been to real Jamba Juice's and they do not have to wear aprons if they don't want to. But that's beside the point. The point is she would bitch us out over stuff she knows nothing about. Telling Golnoush her greeting wasn't warm or welcoming? Wtf she tells people hello can I take your order. Do people even give a shit? They come for the fucking smoothies, not a ~warm greeting~ and for us to pretend to give a shit about them. Then she told us that the juice machines had to be filled at all times. It was 11:30, we closed in 2 hours. She made us put the juice in them anyway. And she said we couldn't start closing until 1:30, I told her it takes an hour just to take the machine apart, clean it, then put it back together. At that rate we won't be out until like 3:30! And she's just like "well clean it faster." Such a fucking bitch. We started closing anyway as soon as she left: Bitch can't tell us nothin. And instead of getting out hours late we got out right on time.
Then Cynthia drove me to my house to get my stuff and feed Eevee before we left to Willies. At Willies house it was cool. Kim was there, Freya, Willie, Brandon, and these 2 military guys Val and Brian that Willies room mate Alex had sex with. Alex's fiance who just got back from Afghanistan was also there (fucking messy). Cynthia was asking who was driving and Val said that he could drive, Cynthia said if he's driving then why is he drinking and Val was like "It's just one beer, I've driven after drinking tons of beers and I've been fine" then him and Alex's fiance got into a dickwaving contest about how many beers they've drank before driving and Cynthia completely goes off. She starts talking about how her cousin just died in a drunk driving contest and it shouldn't be something to brag about, and it escalates into a screaming match and Cynthia walks out and just sits outside. We took that our our queue to gtfo and head off to our hotel. In the car it was me, Cynthia, Kim, Brandon and Freya. We had a lot of fun in the car except it was awkward that Kim was throwing herself at Brandon religiously. She was talking about how she just freshly shaved her legs and how she wishes she weren't on her period, how she's really flexible. I wouldn't have a problem with this if it weren't for the fact that Kim works with us. Kim's boyfriend also works with us. She basically was on a mission to cheat on her boyfriend with Brandon, period or no period. We got to the hotel and we drank at the hotel and we all walked to Knotts Scary Farm. That shit was not scary and those monsters were lame as fuck. Willie scared me the most out of everyone when he hid in the fog and ran out at me. Cynthia kept saying she hoped there weren't any clowns, there were actually a million clowns. We ended up accidentally wandering into a circus type area with all clowns. It was so sad seeing her clutch Brian's arm in a death grip the whole time we were walking. Her face turned red, I felt so bad for her but you gotta face your fears sometime, right? Val was just on a mission to get drunk. He would make us stop at every place and buy beers for everyone. There was 8 of us, the beers are $10 a cup but he wanted to show off and tell us how he wasn't poor and it's ok if you want to spend money on me. We were all pretty good except for Freya. We gave Freya 2 hits of weed when we were at the hotel and she had a couple shots so she was completely off her ass. She kept leaning on everyone and stumbling around talking about how she was dizzy. Val took that as a message to go after Freya. He kept hitting on her the whole night and trying to hug her and stuff. It was really gross because Freya was not interested in him at all. Kim is all up under Brandon. Every time Brandon manages to get away from her she's all "where's Brandon?! I need to find him!" and runs after him to attach herself to him again. She kept trying to hold his hand but he wouldn't.
We were over Knotts Scary Farm really fast because that shit was lame so we walked back to the hotel room. Brian, Cynthia and Nicole left because they had to be up early so it was just Val, Willie, Brandon, Me, Kim and Freya. We started drinking and smoking. Freya was really fucked up so she got in the bed and Val like jumped on her and tried to get her to go upstairs to his room. I pulled him off and told him nobody's sleeping with Freya except me so fuck off. He got butthurt but he stayed and partied until late. Brandon and I went downstairs while he had a cigarette and when we came back up Kim answered the door in her bra and gave him the "come fuck me" look which was REALLY awkward because we're sharing a room with them. I ended up getting way too drunk and I fell asleep on the bathroom floor because I was really hot and it was cold. Then I woke up and saw that Kim and Brandon totally had sex while Freya was passed out in the bed and I was passed out in the bathroom because their clothes were on the floor and I could see period blood on the sheets. Fucking disgusting. I was too hungover to do anything except judge them as I walked by then crawl into bed and go back to sleep.
Then I woke up and Freya was gone, she left to go buy a bathing suit or something. I fell back asleep. Woke up again. Willie and Val were in the room, Brandon ordered room service. I got a breakfast burrito but I told them I didn't want any bell peppers. I took one bite, ALL FUCKING BELL PEPPERS. So I gave it to Willie and went back to sleep. I woke up again, Willie left with Val. Went back to sleep. Then Brandon woke me up again and told us we had to check out. I'm still hungover as fuck but I manage to pull my life together in time for check out. We get into the car and Freya was like "we're going to LA." So we drove to Beverly Hills. I wanted to go shopping, I really did. But I was so hungover I couldn't even stand up for too long let alone go through shop after shop with Freya. So instead me and Brandon sat on a couch in the middle of the mall and watched football while Freya shopped. Then after that we went to PF Changs and had food and I drank a couple drinks because I'm an alcoholic and I make terrible decisions.
It's just awkward because the whole ride Brandon is not paying Kim any attention. They're barely even interacting. And Kim likes Brandon a lot, she has a huge crush on him. Brandon is just a huge fucking slut and will fuck anyone who will let him. And the worst part is he doesn't wear condoms, ever. There's actually another girl Laura who might be pregnant with his baby right now. So you possibly got another girl pregnant for fucking without a condom, then you go and fuck another girl without a condom WHILE SHE'S ON HER PERIOD. These people disgust me, I don't even know why we're friends. Anyway back to the story. We drove back to Willie's house and honestly at this point I'm sick of Freya. Freya is a really nice person but she's way older than us and it comes out. She's always telling us "Back in china, we do this. Or back in china, we don't do this." Honestly it wouldn't be a problem if it wasn't such a constant thing. Every time we do something she tells us "Don't do that we can't do that in China." Or when we tell her it's not ok to do something, like swerve in and out of someone else's lane while driving, she argues with us that it's ok to do in China. At the restaurant she said the guy was an asshole to her because he asked her if she was done with her food so he could take her plate. Then she tried to get us to not tip him because of it. I tried to explain the tipping situation in America and how it's not good to not leave a tip at all, but she just wasn't getting it and kept arguing with us and got mad when we left tips anyway. Also when was sitting on willies couch and I started bouncing my leg because I was bored and Freya is like "stop don't do that. In china if a man does that he'll be poor, and if a woman does it she'll become a whore." and I'm like "Freya I've been doing this my whole life and I'm not a prostitute yet so I think I'm fine" and she's all "I'm just saying when you have a job interview you'll do that and you won't get the job" and I'm like "Freya, I've had job interviews before I know how to conduct myself. This isn't China. This is America, we're not going to become whores by shaking our legs." She kept pushing it so basically I had to give her the "I'm a grown woman and I can do whatever the fuck I want" talk and she finally dropped it. I don't like people telling me what to do.
Ray the downstairs neighbor was having a party with his biker friends and started texting us to come down. We didn't want to come down because his biker friends are racist homophobic assholes. They act like stereotypical bikers, hypermasculine pricks who are so afraid of ~catching the gay~ if they even breathe the same air as a gay person. He told us his friends had left so to come down. We were totally having fun but Kim was being awkward again. Ray is a fucking slut, he's like Brandon except 10 yrs older. He'll have sex with any girl who will let him. He's forever hitting on me and I'm just turning him down like it's my job. He's used to it though so it's more of a joke now. But Kim is like loving the attention. She asks him for a banana and is all "Mmmm I love bananas" and shoves the banana in her mouth. Ray puts on Willie's sweater and is talking about how his nipples are so hard and he wants to rub them and Kim starts rubbing her nipples. But Ray knows that her and Brandon just had sex last night, and that Kim is only 18 years old. When she was outside smoking with Brandon he told me that he's just joking with her and that he really wants to hang out with me because we both laugh at the same things. I told him we can hang out but we're not having sex, ever, in life. He said he understands but he's still going to try. And I'm just like.
Then his fucking biker friends come back. I was hoping for Sons of Anarchy and I just got bloated old white men with broken dreams of youth.These guy were not hot at all. They're fat and greasy with low budget ass tribal tattoos. Really? What tribe are you white motherfuckers from? Someone please let me know. The slick back hair guy comes through the door and tries to hug Freya and she's like "Excuse me. I'll shake your hand but I don't know you so I'm not going to hug you." Brandon goes upstairs with Willie to get food so it's just us 3 girls and the dudes are just being pigs. One guy asks Kim how old she is then asks her to show her tits. After that we just left because they were obnoxious. Once we got back upstairs Willie realized that we left Brandon's alcohol downstairs at Rays house so I went with him to get it. We walk in and this homophobic biker asshole is like "Seriously??" and I look at him and I'm just like "Seriously, what?" and he doesn't say anything. We walk over to Ray and ask for Brandon's vodka and he said Brandon already came down and got it. Then Ray goes into this drunken monologue how I should just give him a chance. How his bed is always open and I shouldn't keep shooting him down like this. He tells me that he has ropes and handcuffs and he'll break my back, he'll have me shaking, he'll have me calling him honkey and all this crazy ass shit. And I'm just like "RAY, YOU CAN'T HANDLE THIS FIVE STAR PUSSY SO STOP RAPING ME WITH YOUR WORDS." and he's just like "I'm just saying, if you want me I'm here and you know where my bedroom is." He's such a goddamn whore, it's not even attractive. Then when Willie and I are leaving out the door the same guy who was talking shit when we walked in goes "Don't let the door hit you on the way out." And Willie is just like "Don't worry, it won't happen again. Ever." And we leave. We're not even going to entertain these dickheads. The dude goes running to Ray saying that we were talking shit while we were leaving. Um you're the one who decided to be a bitch and talk shit while we were leaving and then get mad when something is said back to you? Is your little ego that fucking fragile?
So Ray comes up and completely goes off on Willie saying no one is allowed to talk shit in his house. We tried to explain to him what happened but Ray is clearly drunk so Willie just gives up and goes "Ok, I'm sorry Ray can you just leave?" because Willie's room mates were sleeping and we didn't want to wake them with his drunken screaming. I wanted to stay longer but Freya was really tired. I kept telling her "Freya, you don't have to wait for me. Just go home and I'll get a ride in the morning." But she wouldn't, she was like falling asleep at the table so finally I just went to her and asked her to take me home because that's clearly what she wanted. Seriously fuck Ray though. I'm still pissed off that he thought he even had a chance with me. He doesn't have enough sophistication or money to fuck me.
Ratchets being ratchets..