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I've come to the conclusion that my girl friends are truly powerless against dick and that it will make them do crazy things despite all the logic and reason that I throw at them.
Lets talk about my friend Laura. For those of you who haven't read my past blogs Laura is my friend Brandon's on again, off again (mostly off again) girlfriend of a year. She is also the mother of a 4 year old. Last Halloween Brandon cheated on her with this girl named Kim that we work with (we call her periodgirl because she was on her period when they had sex and it got all over the bed and it was gross) completely unprotected. Brandon doesn't ever want to wear condoms because he has a small penis and they fit him like a trashbag. But instead of just buying smaller condoms he'll just have sex unprotected. He's already caught an STD and gone through 2 pregnancy scares in the past 2 years. Does he learn anything? Nahhhhh.
Laura found out about periodgirl, every gross blood covered detail, and she asked him to take an STD test before she would have sex with him again. He got offended and refused, she had sex with him anyway. See I learned something about Laura recently. I learned that she's really stupid. I always thought she was dumb before, but I found out that she's just really really really mind numbingly fucking stupid.
The first time I approached her about birth control she told me that she doesn't like putting foreign substances in her body, that's why she's vegan and all this other holy earth mother moon goddess bullshit. I kindly informed her that birth control pills are not made of foreign substances, it's simply a higher dose of the hormones that your body already produces. She was totally shocked, she had no idea. Did she go out and get that free Obamacare birth control right away? Nope.
My friend Aurora has been wanting to move out from where she is for a long time and she really wanted me to move in with her but I don't want to move out of where I am and I genuinely enjoy living with my aunt so I tried to play matchmaker and have Laura move in with Aurora since Laura is currently living with her child's father who's addicted to heroin. And then it hit me that once they move out it's going to be open season with her and Brandon and it's only going to be a matter of time before she gets pregnant. She told me that she doesn't use birth control or condoms with Brandon and they don't even pull out all the time. She just relies on the fact that she has a tilted uterus and will constantly take morning after pills. She told me that once she didn't get her period for 4 months because of the morning after pills. I told her instead of taking morning after pills, why not get on birth control because they're actually made out of the same hormones except they wont fuck up your cycle and have your period randomly going MIA for months at a time. She just told me "no I'm not getting on birth control and if I get pregnant I'll just have an abortion." I told her "Do you have $600 for an abortion? Why would you spend that money on an abortion rather than just getting FREE birth control?!?" We went back and forth on that for a while because this girl wasn't making any fucking sense. You have a child, you've had an STD before you've suffered every consequence of having reckless unprotected sex and you STILL won't get a goddamn clue? Do you need to get HIV or something incurable before you get it together?
I was done. After that I told my friend Aurora do not move in with her because she's going to get pregnant again and you'll have to deal with her four year old, a newborn, and her archaic relationship that's only going to get worse. So now she's trying to move in with Willie who's Brandon's best friend because he's being kicked out of his place in a month and he's desperate. SMH.
Speaking of Aurora, she's also the victim of having her brain and logic paralyzed by penis.
Aurora had a boyfriend who ended up getting hooked on meth and it ended their relationship. A couple months ago she started hanging out with his younger brother as friends. Then the younger brother put the moves on her and tried to have sex with her but I told her not to do it because he was saying stuff like "Oh I can sneak you into my room at night" and stuff that just makes it super obvious he just wants her for a booty call. But by this point I could tell she already had feelings for him so she ended up sleeping with him. Then she came to me the next day absolutely pissed because the sex only lasted two pumps before he came and everything was over. Did that deter her from this obvious oncoming trainwreck?? Nope she decided she was going to train him to have sex properly which is a noble task but who really has time for that shit? Especially since there's another roadblock here.
He told her that he had a girlfriend but broke up with his girlfriend because he didn't have time for her. The girlfriend also happens to be Aurora's neighbor. However, not too long ago Aurora drove up to her house just to see them in the car together and that's how she found out that way that they were back together. He didn't even tell her upfront when she asked. He just ignored all of her text messages but would still call her asking to hook up, and she would still offer to hook up with him! And then would get mad when he wouldn't show up! I tried to explain to her that he is what we call a "douchebag" and that he doesn't actually want to be fwb with her he just wants her to constantly be available for him to fall back on when him and his gf are having problems. She finally took the hint but I can tell she still has feelings for the guy.
Last night she called me borderline crying when she pulled up to her house and saw his car parked in front of her neighbors house so she knew they were together. She didn't even want to go home because she knew they were next door together so I told her she could sleep over at my house for the night. Then while she was sleeping over my house he had the nerve to text her in the middle of the night trying to hook up with her.
I know she was wrong and stupid for not listening to me in the beginning and getting with him in the first place but he really doesn't have to rub it in like that and be such a fucking asshole. Like how are you going to try to sneak around when they both fucking live next door to each other???
But Aurora actually has a semblance of a brain left she's finally got the picture that he's a douche, he doesn't deserve her time and she doesn't need this mess. I'm going to take her to Carlsbad next weekend to go find new dudes because I'm so done with these fuckboys who are still living with their parents, have shitty jobs and get everything handed to them who think that they can just jerk my friends around. Fuck them.
Speaking of fuckboys I have had to deal with my fair share of fuckboys as well but I've been handling it a bit differently than my dickmatized sistren although I'll admit that I'm being extremely immature.
My ex that I used to live with Alex randomly messaged me on Facebook saying that he wanted to be friends. We've been going through this cycle for a while where he will say he wants to be friends, text me every day, do everything for me, then randomly star flirting with me, tell me he loves me again and then randomly stops talking to me when he finds another girl and I get mad and delete him from everything and we don't talk. This time he was being super nice, giving me weed, giving me rides to place and all this shit. I thought he actually wanted to be friends this time, and then it came. He started trying to randomly sext me and I just texted back with "You know I'm never having sex with you again right?"
Haven't heard from him since.
And another guy Matt and his fucking brother omg. WHO DOES THIS? I'm getting mad just thinking about it. Matt and I work together which is already a strike against him. But I thought he was cool and gave him my number so we could hang out. Everything was fine he was texting me and we were having small talk until randomly he just asked me:
Him: Do you ever get horny at night?
Me: Doesn't everyone?
Him: What I'm asking is are you horny right now?
Me: No not really
Him: Do you want me to make you horny
Me: *gags irl*
I don't fuck with dudes who try to sext me before they've asked me out on a date or even properly learned how to spell my name so I just ended that conversation right there. The next day he apologized and tried to blame it on the alcohol. I stopped responding to his texts and facebook messages but I would be polite to him at work. He'd always say hello to me and be really polite which is crazy because he's totally rude via text message. Then he told me that he had a girlfriend and I thought cool he has a girlfriend we can actually be friends now but once I started talking to him again they conveniently broke up so I'm starting to believe this girlfriend never actually existed. Then he started with the sexting again he randomly asked me if I wanted a picture of him and I was like "What are you talking about?" and he was all "Would you judge me if I told you a naughty picture?" And I basically laid it all out on the table with him that I'm not going to enter a casual sexual relationship with someone I work with. That's messy. So he's either going to get to know me and be respectful or we're just not going to talk. He apologized again after that and since then he's been respectful we haven't had any problems.
But then his fucking ugly as gap toothed brother that I've never met somehow got a hold of my facebook and my kik. Matt says that he gave his brother his old cellphone and it still had his old contacts in it and his brother was just messaging girls in his phone. I don't understand how that works considering he found me on Facebook and added me? I dont understand, they're weird people and that's why I don't fuck with them anymore because his brother messaged me on Facebook like
Him: Hey sexy, how are you?
Me: Do I fucking know you?
Him: I'm Matt's brother
Me: Well my name is Kinaya, it's not sexy. Don't disrespect me.
Him: I'm sorry I offended you I didn't mean to make you mad I just wanted to get to know you
Me:
Well I didn't want to get to know him so I didn't respond. Then he messaged me again on Facebook and I ignored it. Wtf get a clue nigga!
And finally Cody. Cody was a guy I was in a casual relationship with for 9 months until he got out of the military and moved back to Alabama. I haven't heard from him since January. I even messaged him on Facebook back in March and he read it but didn't respond to me. Then I'm hanging out with Aurora and he randomly started texting me like we haven't gone word free for 5 months. I texted him back because I was really stoned and feeling talkative and he goes "So are you gonna send me pics?"
I should've stopped talking to him then and there but I decided it would be more fun to fuck with him. I pretended to be super into it and I texted him back and told him I would send him pictures then I just stopped texting him back. Then the next say I was like "Oh sorry I got busy but I'll make it up to me I'll make you a video. And he was super excited and into it. I told him to wait an hour and I'll have it ready but I just stopped texting back. Then I did it again today and apparently he just keeps falling for it because it's been 3 days. I'm gonna see how long this can go on before he stops texting me back. I'm taking bets.
Lets talk about my friend Laura. For those of you who haven't read my past blogs Laura is my friend Brandon's on again, off again (mostly off again) girlfriend of a year. She is also the mother of a 4 year old. Last Halloween Brandon cheated on her with this girl named Kim that we work with (we call her periodgirl because she was on her period when they had sex and it got all over the bed and it was gross) completely unprotected. Brandon doesn't ever want to wear condoms because he has a small penis and they fit him like a trashbag. But instead of just buying smaller condoms he'll just have sex unprotected. He's already caught an STD and gone through 2 pregnancy scares in the past 2 years. Does he learn anything? Nahhhhh.
Laura found out about periodgirl, every gross blood covered detail, and she asked him to take an STD test before she would have sex with him again. He got offended and refused, she had sex with him anyway. See I learned something about Laura recently. I learned that she's really stupid. I always thought she was dumb before, but I found out that she's just really really really mind numbingly fucking stupid.
The first time I approached her about birth control she told me that she doesn't like putting foreign substances in her body, that's why she's vegan and all this other holy earth mother moon goddess bullshit. I kindly informed her that birth control pills are not made of foreign substances, it's simply a higher dose of the hormones that your body already produces. She was totally shocked, she had no idea. Did she go out and get that free Obamacare birth control right away? Nope.
My friend Aurora has been wanting to move out from where she is for a long time and she really wanted me to move in with her but I don't want to move out of where I am and I genuinely enjoy living with my aunt so I tried to play matchmaker and have Laura move in with Aurora since Laura is currently living with her child's father who's addicted to heroin. And then it hit me that once they move out it's going to be open season with her and Brandon and it's only going to be a matter of time before she gets pregnant. She told me that she doesn't use birth control or condoms with Brandon and they don't even pull out all the time. She just relies on the fact that she has a tilted uterus and will constantly take morning after pills. She told me that once she didn't get her period for 4 months because of the morning after pills. I told her instead of taking morning after pills, why not get on birth control because they're actually made out of the same hormones except they wont fuck up your cycle and have your period randomly going MIA for months at a time. She just told me "no I'm not getting on birth control and if I get pregnant I'll just have an abortion." I told her "Do you have $600 for an abortion? Why would you spend that money on an abortion rather than just getting FREE birth control?!?" We went back and forth on that for a while because this girl wasn't making any fucking sense. You have a child, you've had an STD before you've suffered every consequence of having reckless unprotected sex and you STILL won't get a goddamn clue? Do you need to get HIV or something incurable before you get it together?
I was done. After that I told my friend Aurora do not move in with her because she's going to get pregnant again and you'll have to deal with her four year old, a newborn, and her archaic relationship that's only going to get worse. So now she's trying to move in with Willie who's Brandon's best friend because he's being kicked out of his place in a month and he's desperate. SMH.
Speaking of Aurora, she's also the victim of having her brain and logic paralyzed by penis.
Aurora had a boyfriend who ended up getting hooked on meth and it ended their relationship. A couple months ago she started hanging out with his younger brother as friends. Then the younger brother put the moves on her and tried to have sex with her but I told her not to do it because he was saying stuff like "Oh I can sneak you into my room at night" and stuff that just makes it super obvious he just wants her for a booty call. But by this point I could tell she already had feelings for him so she ended up sleeping with him. Then she came to me the next day absolutely pissed because the sex only lasted two pumps before he came and everything was over. Did that deter her from this obvious oncoming trainwreck?? Nope she decided she was going to train him to have sex properly which is a noble task but who really has time for that shit? Especially since there's another roadblock here.
He told her that he had a girlfriend but broke up with his girlfriend because he didn't have time for her. The girlfriend also happens to be Aurora's neighbor. However, not too long ago Aurora drove up to her house just to see them in the car together and that's how she found out that way that they were back together. He didn't even tell her upfront when she asked. He just ignored all of her text messages but would still call her asking to hook up, and she would still offer to hook up with him! And then would get mad when he wouldn't show up! I tried to explain to her that he is what we call a "douchebag" and that he doesn't actually want to be fwb with her he just wants her to constantly be available for him to fall back on when him and his gf are having problems. She finally took the hint but I can tell she still has feelings for the guy.
Last night she called me borderline crying when she pulled up to her house and saw his car parked in front of her neighbors house so she knew they were together. She didn't even want to go home because she knew they were next door together so I told her she could sleep over at my house for the night. Then while she was sleeping over my house he had the nerve to text her in the middle of the night trying to hook up with her.
I know she was wrong and stupid for not listening to me in the beginning and getting with him in the first place but he really doesn't have to rub it in like that and be such a fucking asshole. Like how are you going to try to sneak around when they both fucking live next door to each other???
But Aurora actually has a semblance of a brain left she's finally got the picture that he's a douche, he doesn't deserve her time and she doesn't need this mess. I'm going to take her to Carlsbad next weekend to go find new dudes because I'm so done with these fuckboys who are still living with their parents, have shitty jobs and get everything handed to them who think that they can just jerk my friends around. Fuck them.
Speaking of fuckboys I have had to deal with my fair share of fuckboys as well but I've been handling it a bit differently than my dickmatized sistren although I'll admit that I'm being extremely immature.
My ex that I used to live with Alex randomly messaged me on Facebook saying that he wanted to be friends. We've been going through this cycle for a while where he will say he wants to be friends, text me every day, do everything for me, then randomly star flirting with me, tell me he loves me again and then randomly stops talking to me when he finds another girl and I get mad and delete him from everything and we don't talk. This time he was being super nice, giving me weed, giving me rides to place and all this shit. I thought he actually wanted to be friends this time, and then it came. He started trying to randomly sext me and I just texted back with "You know I'm never having sex with you again right?"
Haven't heard from him since.
And another guy Matt and his fucking brother omg. WHO DOES THIS? I'm getting mad just thinking about it. Matt and I work together which is already a strike against him. But I thought he was cool and gave him my number so we could hang out. Everything was fine he was texting me and we were having small talk until randomly he just asked me:
Him: Do you ever get horny at night?
Me: Doesn't everyone?
Him: What I'm asking is are you horny right now?
Me: No not really
Him: Do you want me to make you horny
Me: *gags irl*
I don't fuck with dudes who try to sext me before they've asked me out on a date or even properly learned how to spell my name so I just ended that conversation right there. The next day he apologized and tried to blame it on the alcohol. I stopped responding to his texts and facebook messages but I would be polite to him at work. He'd always say hello to me and be really polite which is crazy because he's totally rude via text message. Then he told me that he had a girlfriend and I thought cool he has a girlfriend we can actually be friends now but once I started talking to him again they conveniently broke up so I'm starting to believe this girlfriend never actually existed. Then he started with the sexting again he randomly asked me if I wanted a picture of him and I was like "What are you talking about?" and he was all "Would you judge me if I told you a naughty picture?" And I basically laid it all out on the table with him that I'm not going to enter a casual sexual relationship with someone I work with. That's messy. So he's either going to get to know me and be respectful or we're just not going to talk. He apologized again after that and since then he's been respectful we haven't had any problems.
But then his fucking ugly as gap toothed brother that I've never met somehow got a hold of my facebook and my kik. Matt says that he gave his brother his old cellphone and it still had his old contacts in it and his brother was just messaging girls in his phone. I don't understand how that works considering he found me on Facebook and added me? I dont understand, they're weird people and that's why I don't fuck with them anymore because his brother messaged me on Facebook like
Him: Hey sexy, how are you?
Me: Do I fucking know you?
Him: I'm Matt's brother
Me: Well my name is Kinaya, it's not sexy. Don't disrespect me.
Him: I'm sorry I offended you I didn't mean to make you mad I just wanted to get to know you
Me:
Well I didn't want to get to know him so I didn't respond. Then he messaged me again on Facebook and I ignored it. Wtf get a clue nigga!
And finally Cody. Cody was a guy I was in a casual relationship with for 9 months until he got out of the military and moved back to Alabama. I haven't heard from him since January. I even messaged him on Facebook back in March and he read it but didn't respond to me. Then I'm hanging out with Aurora and he randomly started texting me like we haven't gone word free for 5 months. I texted him back because I was really stoned and feeling talkative and he goes "So are you gonna send me pics?"
I should've stopped talking to him then and there but I decided it would be more fun to fuck with him. I pretended to be super into it and I texted him back and told him I would send him pictures then I just stopped texting him back. Then the next say I was like "Oh sorry I got busy but I'll make it up to me I'll make you a video. And he was super excited and into it. I told him to wait an hour and I'll have it ready but I just stopped texting back. Then I did it again today and apparently he just keeps falling for it because it's been 3 days. I'm gonna see how long this can go on before he stops texting me back. I'm taking bets.
I did that to this guy who kept stalking my teen daughter on Facebook 
worked like a charm. 
Wow Laura sounds like a fucking nutball!!! She needs some further sexual education courses. And your guy troubles - I definitely feel your pain! I gogo so my Facebook is publically displayed on my team's page. Because of that, I constantly get the weirdest dudes messaging me or people I meet up with at parties totally seeking me out. I mentioned to my gogo team manager something about maybe taking my photos down, but they told me that's not an option if I wanna keep getting gigs. Men need to learn that if they hope to have ANYTHING with us ladies, you need to go about it in a respectful and mature way. I seriously avoid checking my messages these days because like none of them are anything that could ever evolve into a decent conversation. Any friends that I want to talk to have my number lol. I feel like I'm becoming bitter, but I seriously can't stand these crazies sending me ridiculous shit and filling up my inbox. Ignoring them will work eventually, but like you mentioned they will send you a second, or third message so I dunno what the hell is wrong with people. Get the hint already haha.