I have a summer job

So I'm still working at the same place. I originally was scheduled to work as a cashier in the main cafe from 7am til 2pm which was fine but kind of lame because I'd have to wake up at 6am every day. Then my schedule was changed because Seth quit Jamba Juice so they put me there and I'm working from 9am til 2pm. What pisses me off about my job is that we have to prep and stock before we can open the place. So we show up at 9am but we don't officially open until 10am. We even have our hours posted right between the registers saying that our hours are from 9am til 1:30. Do people read it? No. Every day without fail we have to tell at least 7 people that we don't open until 10. Usually people will leave but then we have the people who will sit there and watch us open until we are open.

Oh that's not creepy at all.

And then when we're closing we have to tell 10 people a day that we're closed and that we close at 1:30. HOURS OF OPERATIONS EXIST FOR A REASON. PLEASE READ THEM.

On a positive note, for the job I have to wear my hair back in a ponytail. And apparently in a ponytail I look like a completely different person to white people. So when I see people who generally annoy me and always want to talk to me I'll just duck my head down and walk fast so they won't notice me. It usually works.

One thing I'll never understand are the people who have Jamba Juice every day. It's been two weeks, I show up Monday through Thursday and the same people show up every day and order the same thing every day. And it pisses me off because I get the impression that these people expect me to remember their names by now but I don't. I work with this guy Ed and he's like a freak of nature that remembers everyone's name and what smoothie they usually get so they expect me to as well. I never do, and some people will say their name with a bitchy tone in their voice offended that I don't remember them.

I'm sorry bitch, but you're a stranger and I don't care enough about your life to remember your favorite smoothie. So if you're going to come to me every day and order the same thing every day you're going to have to tell me your name every day.

My favorite customer are the people who ask me what they want and say "That sounds great I'll get that." Thank you kind patron for not being a pain in my ass and realizing that most of these smoothies taste the same because they're made out of the same shit.

What really drives me bonkers, what REALLY grinds my gears are the people who think that this place is healthy and take forever to analyze what's in everything and what's the healthiest thing on the menu. I have a love-hate relationship with the dudebros who look hot but constantly clear us out of all our whey protein. And they always ask way too many questions about the whey protein before eventually breaking down and paying for it anyway. The dudes who get mad that we can't add THEIR whey protein to the smoothies bug me tho. Get the fuck out of here you buff ass diva.

And then there's the blonde girls who think that just because they add a scoop of kale that makes the smoothie healthy. All of our smoothies are made with juice we mix ourselves with water and concentrate, sherbet loaded with sugar, and frozen fruit that I'm sure has a ton of GMOs and preservatives in them. This shit isn't healthy. Kale doesn't make it healthy, kale just makes it green.

Another thing that's really annoying:
Customer: I'll have a raspberry banana smoothie
Me: Well we don't have that on our menu, would you like to try one of our berry smoothies and add a scoop of banana to it?
Customer: No I just want a raspberry banana smoothie
Me: Well we can only serve smoothies that our on our menu so you'll have to order one of these smoothies.

Then they get mad and then I have to explain to them that it's company policy we can not custom make smoothies unless they want to pay to have extra fruit or scoops of sherbet added to smoothies already on our menu and they get all pissy at me because obviously I own the corporation and this is all my idea. BAD CASHIER. BAD.

And I still have to deal with customers who think we're best friends and I have to sit there and listen to their life story while a gigantic line of dudebros and girls in top knots and yoga pants forms behind them. I had one guy who obviously was trying to flirt with me but I legitimately didn't have time. Ed was on a break and I was the only person working. Then he got mad at me that I got his name wrong. I called him DaShawn instead of DeShawn.

BITCH I DON'T CARE WHAT YOUR NAME IS, TAKE YOUR CUP OF SUGAR AND LEAVE. THESE WHITE GIRLS NEED KALE.

I work with a kid named Ed who is a great guy, he likes superheros, pokemon and weed; and I like those things too so we get along. He's really funny and we make a great team but he has ADHD and some days I want to shove his head in a fucking blender and turn it on. He'll have days where he can't pay attention to something for longer than 10 seconds before he just leaves in the middle of it and moves on to something else. So I have to spend the whole day going behind him and cleaning or putting things away. I legitimately have to be a parent, "Edward, clean these fucking blenders! Put that juice jug in the fridge where it belongs. YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO GET A WIFE ACTING LIKE THIS AND I'M NEVER GOING TO GET YOU OUT OF MY HOUSE." But he comes in handy because he moves really fast and he has an amazing memory so he can remember all the recipes and make smoothies super fast. Go Ed. You still need to get it together tho.

Worse than the customers, worse than Ed and his ADHD, is my fucking boss Nick. Nick is a Dick, this is not only a saying but a movement.

Nick is the Assistant Food Service director but he acts like he's the fucking CEO of the cafeteria. He's always micromanaging everyone. His last rule was that "We must keep our trashcans on the left side of our registers" for no reason other than the fact that he prefers it that way. He will make us change things that makes it super inconvenient for us to do our jobs because that's the way he prefers it. For example he made us all wait until the end of the day to give us inventory sheets and change the entire set up of inventory and only gave us an hour to do it and then got mad when EVERYONE had fucked up inventory. And he's just super fake and talks to people like they're children. He speaks to us like we're too dumb to understand what he's saying. We're not dumb, we just don't want to follow your fucked rules, and I think he likes it that way. He likes being the boss, dictating everything that people do and making sure we have no autonomy over our jobs what so ever. We must all be machines fit for maximum input and maximum output. Everyone hates him, there's not a single person in the whole building that likes Nick. We all call him a dick behind his back constantly. It's only a matter of time before someone slips up and accidentally calls him Dick. I hope I'm there when it happens.

The head of our kitchen Monique finally snapped and told him about himself last Thursday. I went to go to the freezer and saw her yelling at him
"You're never satisfied with anything, all you want is more more more! You don't appreciate anything I do around here. I come to this job and I try to do the best I can and you're never satisfied you always want more for me and it's the way you talk to people IT'S THE WAY YOU TALK TO PEOPLE NICK"

I was interested in seeing this so me and Syed the dishwasher just sat and watched by the time clock. He doesn't speak English very well but he knew exactly what was going on, and he thinks Nick's a dick too. But then I remembered I left Ed alone with a sea of blonde girls WHO NEED KALE, so I got the kale.

I really think if we all band together and put our minds to it we can get Nick to quit.