My First Day Back At Work: A Tale of Triumph

This is the day I've been dreading. I honestly don't have a problem with my job but first week of Fall semester has been one gigantic clusterfuck since I started working there. My bosses fuck up EVERY TIME. This time was really no different.

Fuck up #1: The schedules.

Most of the people working didn't know their schedules until last Friday. They called me and told me I was supposed to come in at 8am but didn't tell me when I'd be scheduled off (probs cuz they didn't know) and when I got to work they only had the schedules up for Monday and Tuesday. Hopefully tomorrow they'll have the schedule for the week up.

Fuck up #2: THEY DIDN'T ORDER ANYTHING. Add/Drop period is the busiest time of the semester and it's all the way downhill from there so you would think that they would want to be fully stocked for it? Nope. We were running out of everything nothing was stocked, half the sodas in the fountains were out of order we didn't have shit.
Fuck up #3: None of the pricing is correct. They added and removed a bunch of shit on the menus and they brought Donna in on Friday to change the prices but when she got there they didn't have the prices. The weekend passes, they're still not changed. Monday comes and they get pissed at Donna that the new cashiers are confused about prices when they STILL haven't given her the new ones.

And it's only 8am. I just clocked in and witness 3 fuck ups. I went to get my money bag and there I find out about Fuck up #4.

Because they decided to hire 20 cashiers this semester instead of their usual 15 there weren't enough bags to go around. Janet only made 15 bags so she's rushing through the bags from yesterday trying to create new ones for all the cashiers who are clocking in. I have to get a $250 bag instead of my usual $100 because that's the only one left. Janet ended up having to say 3 extra hours counting bags because there were so many cashiers and the new cashiers kept fucking up their counting but that's to be expected.

I take my bag out to the cafeteria.
Fuck up #5: WHY ARE THERE ALREADY 3 CASHIERS THERE?!
We only have 4 stations and it's 8 oclock in the morning. We don't have lunch rush until 11:30 so they're just sitting there at their registers. I only ended up checking out one person and then just sitting there because I'm in the back and there's not enough customers to warrant 4 cashiers. So I take the initiative to stock the fridges with what I can find. (Remember Fuck up #2, we don't have shit)

Not only do I have to deal with the hard labor or hurling 24 count packages of soda through the cafeteria the entire time I'm trying to stock my co-worker Chris is BUGGING. Just like he did last semester, and the semester before that. He constantly asks me to hang out with him and go on a date with him but I keep blowing him off because he tried to hook up with Willie.Willie tells me that he's also still trying to hang out with HIM and go out on a date with HIM. Bitch. You've gotta be fucking kidding me. I try my best to avoid him but he FOLLOWS me from the soda room throughout the cafe.
"So how was your break?"
"When are you taking your lunch?"
"Are you happy to be back?"

Not with you bugging the shit out of me no I'm not happy to be back. I get done stocking and go to the registers because they're on the other side of the wall and I can avoid Chris. Another fucking cashier is showing up. It's 9am and we have 5 cashiers. WHY?
I move my drawer into one of the backup registers because it's better for the new girl to get experience cashiering and I decide fuck it I'm sure they have some paperwork in the office for me to do. And they do. Kathy has me input the waste logs into the computer and then file them away. Then I have to input the paid caterings into the computer and then file them away (the binders are a complete clusterfuck and out of order). Then she has me make copies of the unpaid invoices and keep one folder of copies for Diane, after that I must mail the copies off to the departments to be paid. Fuck up number 6 is minor but still kinda grinds my gears. The office is completely out of window envelopes so instead of being able to fold the paper so the mailing address shows through the window I have to write every single mailing address by hand onto the envelope. While I'm doing all this I have to listen to Janet complain about cashiers and Nick be a total asshole to her.

Janet: Twenty cashiers, Nick? Really TWENTY CASHIERS? We usually have only 15 I didn't have enough bags. I almost had to send one girl away because I wasn't ready with another bag.
Nick: *using a voice you know he uses with his children at home* Well Janet, you know why that is? Because we are in the business of customer service and when there aren't enough cashiers they have to wait. They're not happy if they have to wait so we have to make sure we have enough cashiers to make the customers happy. And you should want to make them happy, they're the ones who put money into this place. They're the reason you have your paycheck.

I know we both wanted to take a glass and smash it over his head right then and there. I finally finish all of that invoice paperwork and as soon as I get done and the last envelope is sealed I get hit in the face with FUCK UP NUMBER 7. It's 11 am!
Kathy: Oh I forgot, Diane has to sign those before you send them off so you'll have to take them out of the envelopes and get her to sign them.

Really bitch??? You've been working here for well over a decade and that just SLIPS YOUR MIND? So I had to take each and every invoice out of the envelope for Diane to sign and then make new envelopes and re-package them to get sent out. I hate my life, but I pull through. Then I go back to trying to get the paid invoice file into SOME kind of order because there's December shit in the July shit, August shit in the November shit and NOTHING is where it needs to be.

And then Nick arrives with Fuck up #8. God I hate him.

Nick: Hey Kinaya *gives me a biiiiig smile* can I ask you a huge favor?
Me: Oh god what is it
Nick: Well we're understaffed at Jamba Juice and it's reaaally busy and since we have an employee who just told us he had to go and left in the middle of his shift so we're really understaffed. Can you please help out at Jamba Juice?
Me: *dies inside*....Fine.
Nick: Do you have your uniform with you?
Me: No, I didn't know I was going to be working at Jamba Juice or I would've brought it. (#shade)
So Nick hands me a JJ uniform and I go into the bathroom where I change from a fugly red shirt to a fugly orange one.

Jamba Juice is a fucking mess. There's never a moment where there's less than 7 people waiting in line for their cups of sugar. Brandon (who is now the supervisor of Jamba Juice, moving up in the world) is making smoothies. New girl is confused. New boy is checking people out. We're all running around like chickens with our heads cut off until I put them in some kind of order. I keep new boy at the register because he's a huge flirt and he can stall the girls at the register long enough for us to catch up on smoothies. I ask Brandon to do dishes and then I call Nick to go get the shit we're running out of. I make the smoothies and I put new girl at the pour station to pour the smoothies out and give them to the customers because it's the simplest task we've got.

Who's the supervisor again? Whatever.

I was there for about an hour and a half but it went by pretty fast because we were busy the entire time. There was not one single moment of downtime. It was overwhelming. Then Brandon had to go to lunch but another new girl came and she really knew what she was doing so that made it easier. Still busy tho.

I showed up at 8 and I have to clock out for my lunch by 1:00 pm or I get written up and the cafe gets a huge fine. Brandon shows up at 12:55, I run to clock out in time and I get clocked out by 12:58 (thank god). I have 30 minutes of wonderful uninterrupted bliss.

I come back from my lunch Chris the BugABoo is back at it again.
"Oh you already took your lunch?"
"Uhh, yeah?"
"Oh....what did you eat?"
"I got a salad. I have to go work."

I find refuge back to the office and proceed to finish organizing the chaos they call filing. Then Kathy unleashes another Fuck Up Bomb (#9) on me. IT'S INVENTORY DAY AND SHE FORGOT. YAYY. Idk if she forgot to take her Valium but she can't seem to get it together today. I get to count everything we own. It's not that bad since they didn't order shit but it's still annoying because the blister on my foot is getting really unbearable. I'm trying to do inventory in the fountain room which right next to where The Bug works and he's trying to talk to me the entire time to the point where I close the door because I can't count when people are talking to me and he's fucking annoying. Then he finds a reason to open the door because he has to bring the mats from the grill into the soda room and he leaves a huge smear of some giant red goop on the door. And he just leaves it there on the door, doesn't even bother to wipe it off.

I leave to count the stock room. Then make my final round to count the cafe. I'm approaching the home stretch and all that's left to do is count the chips which is the most annoying part because we can't just count all the bags of chips we have to account for each type of chip individually. I mean every chip, 4 bags of Lays, 6 bags of sour cream and onion Lays, 12 bags of BBQ Lays, etc and there's a ton of chips that circle the entirety of the cafeteria. So I have to go to each station, count a particular kind of chip, write it down, then repeat the process until I've accounted for every single chip and the list is already fucked up and the same chip is on there twice, other chips are missing, because my boss can't do fucking ANYTHING right.

I'm trying to count the BBQ lays when I get to Chris' station. Fuck.

Not even 45 seconds into my count and he's trying to ask me what I'm doing on Friday. I tell him I'm busy. He asks me what I'm doing this weekend. I tell him I don't want to go out this weekend. He asks me what I'm doing next week. I tell him "Chris I'm counting" He continues to speak. "Chris I'm counting." Still talking....

Finally I get up off the floor, throw my paperwork on his counter and go "CHRISTOPHER. I'M COUNTING." He goes "I'm sorry I couldn't hear you." I'm pissed because I've lost count so I walk away to the other side of the cafeteria. I see David, omg David isn't new he knows how to do inventory! I ask him what time he gets off work. He says he gets off at 4:30 which is in the next 15 minutes. I get off at 4:30 too, fuck. I still have an entire $250 bag (that I only used once) that I have to count.

So I go to Kathy and tell her I'm off soon and I haven't been able to count the chips. She's pissed that I didn't manage to count any of the chips and I couldn't tell her it was all Chris' fucking fault so I just apologized and gave her the paper so I could finish counting my bag. I made $7 today.

Then on my way out I witness lucky Fuck up #10. We go from 5 cashiers at 9am to 2 cashiers at 4:30 pm and one of the cashiers has to take her lunch so that leaves 1 cashier to handle first week of school traffic. Customers shouldn't have to wait, we care so much about our customers *hugefuckingeyeroll*

But I'm already clocked out so that's not my problem. I proceed to take my Black ass home. And that was my first day of work. I hate my bosses they're incompetent fuckwits.