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I texted my mom and I asked her if it was true that Tony had guns in the house. She said it was true but he keeps them locked up in a briefcase since my brother has accidentally gotten to it before. I kindly remind her that Tony is a convicted felon and shouldn't have any guns what so ever. She tells me she knows and she's working on moving out. I tell her she's been "working on moving out" for years now and that she has to stop working on it and start doing it. I told her I don't want her to see Tony anymore and she has to break up with him and move out. I know you can't control what other people do in their lives but this will literally only benefit her. She says she knows and she's going to work on it. I assume that that's the end of the conversation.
No, my life is never that simple. Some bullshit is always bound to happen.
I get a text message from Tony saying that the guns are locked up. That he would never hurt my mother or my brother. That he loves them and they're always going to be safe and I don't have to worry. I'm trying to explain to him that just because he doesn't have any intentions to hurt them doesn't magically mean it can't happen. What if someone finds out about them? He's not supposed to have ANY guns. He can be arrested, my mom can be arrested, my brother can be taken away by CPS, someone can break in and steal the damn guns. commit a crime and frame him for it. THERE ARE A MILLION WAYS THIS CAN GO WRONG. I tell him that and he completely disregards me. He told me that he's always had the guns and that my mom knew about it. I tell him THIS IS STILL UNACCEPTABLE. I bring up again that locking them in a briefcase isn't a safe way to store your guns and that someone can break in and steal them. He tells me he's not worried about someone breaking into his house. Then why do you fucking have them?! If it's not to protect the house then why the fuck do you have two guns and why are you breaking it around my brother? What other reason would you need a gun for? He doesn't hunt. He's not a cop. I don't understand and I want answers. I have a lot of questions but my biggest one is this:
I didn't get answers. He completely avoided my question and changed the subject. He asks me when I'm graduating. I tell him I'm graduating in May. He asks if I've finally made plans for my future. I tell him I've always had plans for my future and I end the conversation. He's always doing this. He always wants to talk about what everyone else is doing except for him. During our conversation he tried to shirk the blame off to my mom and when that didn't work he tried to switch the conversation to being about me. He always wants to point out everyone elses flaws but never wants to discuss his own and it drives me fucking crazy. So like I said I wanted answers and I was going to find them. Like I said last blog it's really easy for me to get to the bottom of shit in my family because no one can hold water. All I have to do is go around and speak with everyone in the circle and put the story together from there. It's true for my mom and it's true for her dumb ass fuckass boyfriend.
I called up my grandma and I told her everything:
I told her about my mom's trip.
I told her about my cousin and the cult and what she told me after the cult meeting.
I told her what my aunt told me. And I told her about how my mom told me that she would be coming down with my brother this weekend and spending the weekend with us.
That was a lie, she had no intentions to even speak to me this weekend. Yesterday my mom stopped by my apartment and didn't even text me to tell me she was in town. She just dropped my brother off and my aunt gave her a ride to San Diego Airport so she could fly to Atlanta.
My grandma tells me the entire fucking story of what happened but in order for audacity of this story to make sense I have to start from the beginning. About a year ago my mom was caught cheating, again. She was caught because Tony got his best friend Precious (yes, that's his real name) to spy on my mother. Precious cleans the building so he has a lot of free time and since he's there all the time he can watch her. Eventually Precious did catch her and told Tony that she saw my mom get out of a car with a man and that she was wearing some really short shorts. Every time my mother would do something Precious would snitch on her to Tony. He even called CPS and told them that my mom was leaving my brother at home alone and my brother kept getting himself locked out of the apartment. I've met Precious, he's short, he's Black and he's hideous. He had the nerve to try to flirt with me while I was trying to do my laundry last holiday. It's gross and offensive that he even fathomed the thought of having a chance with me.
Well Tony caught my mom cheating with Precious. I don't know why she's doing this. I really don't understand why my mom would sleep with someone WHO IS IN CHARGE OF SNITCHING ON HER. Because guess what he did, HE TOLD ON HER. Not only did he tell on her, he took compromising pictures of my mom and sent them to Tony. That's my my mom won't tell me anything. That's why Tony has the guns. That's why everyone is acting a hot ass fucking mess. I don't even know what to do except shake my head. I can't fix this. Everyone wants to keep doing the same bullshit that makes them miserable and complain to me when their lives continue traveling down the toilet. And when I give them advice to stop making horrible fucking decisions I get disregarded. "It's ok, I know what I'm doing. Every thing is going to be ok, I'm going to take care of it." Well that's fine and dandy but I'm not going to be involved. I'm going to keep my ass at home come holiday time. I'm boycotting my family.
No peace, No Mishelle. #StopTheRatcheness2015
No, my life is never that simple. Some bullshit is always bound to happen.
I get a text message from Tony saying that the guns are locked up. That he would never hurt my mother or my brother. That he loves them and they're always going to be safe and I don't have to worry. I'm trying to explain to him that just because he doesn't have any intentions to hurt them doesn't magically mean it can't happen. What if someone finds out about them? He's not supposed to have ANY guns. He can be arrested, my mom can be arrested, my brother can be taken away by CPS, someone can break in and steal the damn guns. commit a crime and frame him for it. THERE ARE A MILLION WAYS THIS CAN GO WRONG. I tell him that and he completely disregards me. He told me that he's always had the guns and that my mom knew about it. I tell him THIS IS STILL UNACCEPTABLE. I bring up again that locking them in a briefcase isn't a safe way to store your guns and that someone can break in and steal them. He tells me he's not worried about someone breaking into his house. Then why do you fucking have them?! If it's not to protect the house then why the fuck do you have two guns and why are you breaking it around my brother? What other reason would you need a gun for? He doesn't hunt. He's not a cop. I don't understand and I want answers. I have a lot of questions but my biggest one is this:
I didn't get answers. He completely avoided my question and changed the subject. He asks me when I'm graduating. I tell him I'm graduating in May. He asks if I've finally made plans for my future. I tell him I've always had plans for my future and I end the conversation. He's always doing this. He always wants to talk about what everyone else is doing except for him. During our conversation he tried to shirk the blame off to my mom and when that didn't work he tried to switch the conversation to being about me. He always wants to point out everyone elses flaws but never wants to discuss his own and it drives me fucking crazy. So like I said I wanted answers and I was going to find them. Like I said last blog it's really easy for me to get to the bottom of shit in my family because no one can hold water. All I have to do is go around and speak with everyone in the circle and put the story together from there. It's true for my mom and it's true for her dumb ass fuckass boyfriend.
I called up my grandma and I told her everything:
I told her about my mom's trip.
I told her about my cousin and the cult and what she told me after the cult meeting.
I told her what my aunt told me. And I told her about how my mom told me that she would be coming down with my brother this weekend and spending the weekend with us.
That was a lie, she had no intentions to even speak to me this weekend. Yesterday my mom stopped by my apartment and didn't even text me to tell me she was in town. She just dropped my brother off and my aunt gave her a ride to San Diego Airport so she could fly to Atlanta.
My grandma tells me the entire fucking story of what happened but in order for audacity of this story to make sense I have to start from the beginning. About a year ago my mom was caught cheating, again. She was caught because Tony got his best friend Precious (yes, that's his real name) to spy on my mother. Precious cleans the building so he has a lot of free time and since he's there all the time he can watch her. Eventually Precious did catch her and told Tony that she saw my mom get out of a car with a man and that she was wearing some really short shorts. Every time my mother would do something Precious would snitch on her to Tony. He even called CPS and told them that my mom was leaving my brother at home alone and my brother kept getting himself locked out of the apartment. I've met Precious, he's short, he's Black and he's hideous. He had the nerve to try to flirt with me while I was trying to do my laundry last holiday. It's gross and offensive that he even fathomed the thought of having a chance with me.
Well Tony caught my mom cheating with Precious. I don't know why she's doing this. I really don't understand why my mom would sleep with someone WHO IS IN CHARGE OF SNITCHING ON HER. Because guess what he did, HE TOLD ON HER. Not only did he tell on her, he took compromising pictures of my mom and sent them to Tony. That's my my mom won't tell me anything. That's why Tony has the guns. That's why everyone is acting a hot ass fucking mess. I don't even know what to do except shake my head. I can't fix this. Everyone wants to keep doing the same bullshit that makes them miserable and complain to me when their lives continue traveling down the toilet. And when I give them advice to stop making horrible fucking decisions I get disregarded. "It's ok, I know what I'm doing. Every thing is going to be ok, I'm going to take care of it." Well that's fine and dandy but I'm not going to be involved. I'm going to keep my ass at home come holiday time. I'm boycotting my family.
No peace, No Mishelle. #StopTheRatcheness2015
