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The very next weekend after the events
of my last blog another birthday comes up. It's Aurora's birthday and she wants to party. Aurora and Franco have the same birthday so the plan was to go to Felicita Park and celebrate. The park allows beer and since the park is huge we can usually get away with smoking and no one will find us. Liv and Aurora brought lots of food and we also made hot dogs for the BBQ.
Since I left LA I've had very little experience with ratchets. Like I call things and people ratchet but it's been a while since I've come into contact with a bonafide ratchet trap queen. Well I met her at the picnic, and her name is Iris. Iris is a very large and in charge chola woman who loves sharpie eyeliner and cheetah print. She has two kids, a baby daddy that she hates, a boo on the side, and every now and then she'll pick up random dudes at the club and fuck them. We told Liv not to invite Iris because Aurora hates her, but Liv invited Iris anyway. And Iris decided to bring her two kids to a party she knew would have alcohol and weed.
Does Iris care? No. She smokes around her kids, drinks around her kids, curses around her kids. She doesn't give a shit. Iris sends her kids to the play area to play and we randomly started up a game of truth or drink because no one wanted to do a dare. Iris admitted that she eats ass but when I admitted that I own a dildo she's all "Oh I've never touched myself because that's just nasty." BITCH, YOU EAT ASS THO?!
Iris decides that she really wants to go out clubbing. She tries to get us on the guest list at some club in San Diego. I have no desire to go clubbing in San Diego and neither does Aurora. Liv, Lerissa and Iris want to go to San Diego. The boys Franco, Eric and Daniel want no part in any of this, they're going home to go play video games and shit. While Lerissa is in the bathroom Aurora tells me that she really doesn't want to be stuck in San Diego with Iris. I don't either because Liv and Lerissa like to tell stories about how they lost Iris and found her in the parking lot fucking some guy. That may be cute to you but it's not cute to me. That's a buzzkill to me. I freak out when I lose my friends I don't let them wander off to fuck random people unless they directly tell me that that's what they want and that's what they're going to do. So we all get ready to leave. Iris decides to pack up all the food that was brought for the entire picnic and take it home with her, even though all she brought was a fruit plate. She even took Aurora's storage container to take all the food, most of which Aurora brought. That's when I decided for sure, nope, I'm not going to San Diego with this bitch. She's clearly inconsiderate. I'm already still pressed from last weekend when the fucking party bus guy decided to be late. I'm not trying to get stranded in San Diego again.
While I'm in the car with Lerissa I tell her that me and Aurora really don't want to go all the way to San Diego to party. We'd rather just stay local-ish and go to Oceanside. Oceanside is 30 minutes away instead of an hour. Lerissa agrees and says that all she wants is for Aurora to get really fucked up for her birthday. Lerissa offers to be the designated driver and to drive us to the club. So we all go home to take naps, get ready and all that shit. By the time she comes to pick me up I'm ready to go. I feel fine, fresh and fierce. Aurora brought a bottle full of some kind of alcohol mixture for us to drink on the way there. In Lerissa's car it was me, Lerissa, Aurora and Shonda. In Iris' car was Iris' sister and Liv. Pay attention because this is going to be important later.
Shonda says that if Lerissa doesn't want to DD that she'll drive us home because she doesn't really drink alcohol. Lerissa says "Oh don't worry I got it."
We end up going to this club called The Basement because it's literally the basement of a two story restaurant that was converted into a club (so clever). What does Lerissa do when we walk into the club? She immediately starts fucking drinking like a fish. This girl is one of those health nuts because she lost like 100 pounds in 8 months. All she eats is kale and water but tonight she's knocking back Hurricanes like it's nothing. Not even an hour into clubbing and she's drunk as fuck. Iris, her sister and Liv finally show up. We all start dancing together. This shifty cholo looking dude pops up and starts dancing with Lerissa. She's dancing with him and the dude starts like touching her and kissing her and licking her neck. She clearly looks uncomfortable so Aurora steps in and breaks them up. We take Lerissa and move her back into our circle. The dude won't give up though, he keeps coming up behind her and continuing to dance with her. Iris is all "She doesn't like that she's not that kind of girl" so we break them up AGAIN and this time we all leave the dancefloor and go to a table to sit. Shonda had a couple beers. I only had the drink during the ride to the club and one drink at the club. I wanted to stay alert because I wanted Aurora to get drunk. Usually she's the responsible one and I'm the messy wasted one. I wanted to do her a solid for her birthday. Aurora gets smashhhheeedddd . She's not acting drunk because she can handle herself, but I can tell she's drunk because her eyes are like glazed over.
We end up going back to the dance floor because they played my song, and guess who shows up again? Cholo dude! And guess who he goes for? Straight to Lerissa. She's dancing with him again and at this point we decide fuck it. If she's not going to tell him to fuck off we're going to stop trying to save her. You're on your own sis. It's Aurora's birthday and aint nobody got time to keep playing captain save a ho with your drunk ass. I leave and go to a table where it's just me and Shonda. Eventually Liv, Iris and her sister show back up. We're at the table having a good time when Aurora shows up. Iris decides to reach out and just grab Aurora's boobs. Aurora flips her off and walks off. Shonda asks me to go look for her so I get up and do a once over of the entire club. She's no longer in the club. So I go back and get Shonda because I can't find her. We go upstairs into the restaurant and Aurora is sitting on the couch practically passed out because she's drunk as hell.
We decided to get Aurora up and take her to the beach to go walk and sober up a little bit. The beach is probably a 5-10 minute walk away, depending on how fast you're walking. We go to the beach, chill out there for a few minutes, and then we decide to head back to the club because Aurora is feeling better. We get back to the club and they won't let us in because it's almost last call. That's when we decide to just go wait by Lerissa's car until last call hits and we can go home. Shonda is sober and she says that she'll drive us home because Lerissa is clearly still drunk after drinking multiple strong drinks. We call Lerissa, she doesn't pick up. We text her, she still doesn't answer. At this point I'm just fucking relieved we didn't go to San Diego or else I wouldve dragged her ass. Finally we manage to find Liv, Iris, and Iris' sister. Apparently Lerissa had no problem picking up the phone for them. She tells them that she's not at the club anymore. While we were at the beach taking care of Aurora, Lerissa decided to leave the club with cholo guy and go to his house in San Marcos to have sex. They're going to San Marcos with a couple of his friends. We dont want to go because:
1. It's 2 am and we're tired
2. Those dudes look shady ass hell
But Iris wants to bang one of the shady cholo's friends because apparently these chicks don't love themselves or something. None of these guys are remotely attractive! Aurora says that it's fine if they want to go but we don't want to go. Iris has Lerissa's keys and Aurora asks for them so they can go because Shonda offered to drive us home. Aurora said that Lerissa can pick up her car from Aurora's house since they only live like a block away from each other. Iris totally freaks out, "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE HER KEYS, IM A REAL ASS FRIEND AND I'M NOT LEAVING HER. I AINT NO FAKE ASS BITCH. I DONT LEAVE MY FRIENDS! BLAH BLAH *incoherent wharbleglarble*"
Sis, your friend left you. And we're not asking you to come with us. We're just asking for the keys so we can get home. Iris refuses. Her and Aurora have an argument in the parking lot. Shonda decides fuck this she's going to call her mom to come pick us up. Shonda's mom gets up at 3 am on a work night to come pick us up because she's the real MVP. Still none of us have heard from Lerissa and we are all very much pissed off.
The next morning still no call or text from Lerissa to apologize. We asked Liv and she told us that Lerissa ended up sleeping with the guy and they took her home the next morning. Liv also tells us that the reason Iris wouldn't give us the keys is because Lerissa told her specifically not to give us her keys. I have no idea how she expected us to get home with no keys. Liv also said that Lerissa got a ticket for leaving her car parked in Oceanside overnight. Aurora is all, "Karma is a bitch, I hope something bad happens to her for each person she left." The whole weekend passes by and we don't hear from Lerissa so finally Aurora decides to text her and tell her that she's still really upset with her for leaving us at the party. Lerissa is one of those people who can never be wrong and never apologizes so she pretty much responds with a blatant lie. "Oh I left because Shonda said that she would drive you guys home so it was ok." How exactly was Shonda supposed to drive us home when you told Iris not to give us the keys? Are we supposed to hop in our invisible Cadillac and drive that? I don't get it.
We tell her that, and all she responds with is, "I don't why you're not over it, I'm already over it." OF COURSE YOU'RE OVER IT, YOU DIDN'T GET LEFT IN ANOTHER CITY YOU STUPID HEARTLESS JEZEBEL! Aurora is conflicted because she's so insecure she starts to believe that maybe Lerissa is right and we're just overreacting. I'm having none of that shit. I grab Aurora's phone and I drag that bitch for filth. I point out every flaw in her argument, every promise she broke, every fucked up thing she did and every time we've ever had to deal with her selfish bullshit. Like I keep telling you guys, I'm fucking petty, and I never forget when someone fucks me or someone I care about over. Lerissa is the queen of fucking people over and that's why I never hang out with her unless I'm hanging out with Aurora. Aurora is such a nice person that she's always letting her slide with that shit. Not today sis, you're not going to fuck over my best friend and make it out like it's her fault. I really wanted to snatch out her raggedy ass extensions and smack those overdrawn eyebrows off her face, but this was via text so I had to use my words.
Lerissa still responds like she doesn't understand where this is coming from. She thinks that we're overreacting and we should just get over it and she's not going to apologize because she didn't do anything wrong. I tell her fine. We're not friends anymore. If Aurora still wants to be friends with you then that's fine but I'm not fucking with you until you apologize to her. I don't even want an apology for myself. I want an apology for Aurora because it was her birthday, you wanted to get her drunk, you got her drunk and then you left her. That's really fucked up.
I haven't spoken to her since. She still tries to like my posts on Facebook and shit. Stop it bitch, IDFWU.
Then comes Monday morning and Aurora goes into work. Everyone is asking how the birthday went and Aurora tells them about what happened. Lerissa then texts Aurora totally livid that Aurora had the nerve to tell people at work that Lerissa abandoned us to go fuck some dude she met a the club. Aurora is sorry and immediately wants to apologize even though Lerissa has yet to apologize to her. I keep telling Aurora fuck that bitch. She deserves to have her feelings hurt because she's an inconsiderate, self-centered trollop.
Aurora is way nicer than me and apologizes anyway, but tells her that she's still upset with her for what she did and if she's not going to take any responsibility for it then they're not going to be friends anymore. What does Lerissa do? Completely ignores it. Doesn't respond or anything. She does however wait a day to hit Aurora up asking if she can get weed from her. Aurora just said: "no."
She's a better person than I am. I would've cussed her out, again.
Since then we don't talk to Lerissa, but we did hear that not only did she get a ticket for leaving her car parked overnight but not even 2 days later someone busted out the window of her car while she was at some smoke shop. Then a couple days after that she rear ended someone and they were suing her for damages. Aurora's curse came true. Something bad happened to her for each person she left. I'm happy it did. I hope something bad happens to her for every day of her life. Fuck her.
of my last blog another birthday comes up. It's Aurora's birthday and she wants to party. Aurora and Franco have the same birthday so the plan was to go to Felicita Park and celebrate. The park allows beer and since the park is huge we can usually get away with smoking and no one will find us. Liv and Aurora brought lots of food and we also made hot dogs for the BBQ.Since I left LA I've had very little experience with ratchets. Like I call things and people ratchet but it's been a while since I've come into contact with a bonafide ratchet trap queen. Well I met her at the picnic, and her name is Iris. Iris is a very large and in charge chola woman who loves sharpie eyeliner and cheetah print. She has two kids, a baby daddy that she hates, a boo on the side, and every now and then she'll pick up random dudes at the club and fuck them. We told Liv not to invite Iris because Aurora hates her, but Liv invited Iris anyway. And Iris decided to bring her two kids to a party she knew would have alcohol and weed.
Does Iris care? No. She smokes around her kids, drinks around her kids, curses around her kids. She doesn't give a shit. Iris sends her kids to the play area to play and we randomly started up a game of truth or drink because no one wanted to do a dare. Iris admitted that she eats ass but when I admitted that I own a dildo she's all "Oh I've never touched myself because that's just nasty." BITCH, YOU EAT ASS THO?!
Iris decides that she really wants to go out clubbing. She tries to get us on the guest list at some club in San Diego. I have no desire to go clubbing in San Diego and neither does Aurora. Liv, Lerissa and Iris want to go to San Diego. The boys Franco, Eric and Daniel want no part in any of this, they're going home to go play video games and shit. While Lerissa is in the bathroom Aurora tells me that she really doesn't want to be stuck in San Diego with Iris. I don't either because Liv and Lerissa like to tell stories about how they lost Iris and found her in the parking lot fucking some guy. That may be cute to you but it's not cute to me. That's a buzzkill to me. I freak out when I lose my friends I don't let them wander off to fuck random people unless they directly tell me that that's what they want and that's what they're going to do. So we all get ready to leave. Iris decides to pack up all the food that was brought for the entire picnic and take it home with her, even though all she brought was a fruit plate. She even took Aurora's storage container to take all the food, most of which Aurora brought. That's when I decided for sure, nope, I'm not going to San Diego with this bitch. She's clearly inconsiderate. I'm already still pressed from last weekend when the fucking party bus guy decided to be late. I'm not trying to get stranded in San Diego again.
While I'm in the car with Lerissa I tell her that me and Aurora really don't want to go all the way to San Diego to party. We'd rather just stay local-ish and go to Oceanside. Oceanside is 30 minutes away instead of an hour. Lerissa agrees and says that all she wants is for Aurora to get really fucked up for her birthday. Lerissa offers to be the designated driver and to drive us to the club. So we all go home to take naps, get ready and all that shit. By the time she comes to pick me up I'm ready to go. I feel fine, fresh and fierce. Aurora brought a bottle full of some kind of alcohol mixture for us to drink on the way there. In Lerissa's car it was me, Lerissa, Aurora and Shonda. In Iris' car was Iris' sister and Liv. Pay attention because this is going to be important later.
Shonda says that if Lerissa doesn't want to DD that she'll drive us home because she doesn't really drink alcohol. Lerissa says "Oh don't worry I got it."
We end up going to this club called The Basement because it's literally the basement of a two story restaurant that was converted into a club (so clever). What does Lerissa do when we walk into the club? She immediately starts fucking drinking like a fish. This girl is one of those health nuts because she lost like 100 pounds in 8 months. All she eats is kale and water but tonight she's knocking back Hurricanes like it's nothing. Not even an hour into clubbing and she's drunk as fuck. Iris, her sister and Liv finally show up. We all start dancing together. This shifty cholo looking dude pops up and starts dancing with Lerissa. She's dancing with him and the dude starts like touching her and kissing her and licking her neck. She clearly looks uncomfortable so Aurora steps in and breaks them up. We take Lerissa and move her back into our circle. The dude won't give up though, he keeps coming up behind her and continuing to dance with her. Iris is all "She doesn't like that she's not that kind of girl" so we break them up AGAIN and this time we all leave the dancefloor and go to a table to sit. Shonda had a couple beers. I only had the drink during the ride to the club and one drink at the club. I wanted to stay alert because I wanted Aurora to get drunk. Usually she's the responsible one and I'm the messy wasted one. I wanted to do her a solid for her birthday. Aurora gets smashhhheeedddd . She's not acting drunk because she can handle herself, but I can tell she's drunk because her eyes are like glazed over.
We end up going back to the dance floor because they played my song, and guess who shows up again? Cholo dude! And guess who he goes for? Straight to Lerissa. She's dancing with him again and at this point we decide fuck it. If she's not going to tell him to fuck off we're going to stop trying to save her. You're on your own sis. It's Aurora's birthday and aint nobody got time to keep playing captain save a ho with your drunk ass. I leave and go to a table where it's just me and Shonda. Eventually Liv, Iris and her sister show back up. We're at the table having a good time when Aurora shows up. Iris decides to reach out and just grab Aurora's boobs. Aurora flips her off and walks off. Shonda asks me to go look for her so I get up and do a once over of the entire club. She's no longer in the club. So I go back and get Shonda because I can't find her. We go upstairs into the restaurant and Aurora is sitting on the couch practically passed out because she's drunk as hell.
We decided to get Aurora up and take her to the beach to go walk and sober up a little bit. The beach is probably a 5-10 minute walk away, depending on how fast you're walking. We go to the beach, chill out there for a few minutes, and then we decide to head back to the club because Aurora is feeling better. We get back to the club and they won't let us in because it's almost last call. That's when we decide to just go wait by Lerissa's car until last call hits and we can go home. Shonda is sober and she says that she'll drive us home because Lerissa is clearly still drunk after drinking multiple strong drinks. We call Lerissa, she doesn't pick up. We text her, she still doesn't answer. At this point I'm just fucking relieved we didn't go to San Diego or else I wouldve dragged her ass. Finally we manage to find Liv, Iris, and Iris' sister. Apparently Lerissa had no problem picking up the phone for them. She tells them that she's not at the club anymore. While we were at the beach taking care of Aurora, Lerissa decided to leave the club with cholo guy and go to his house in San Marcos to have sex. They're going to San Marcos with a couple of his friends. We dont want to go because:
1. It's 2 am and we're tired
2. Those dudes look shady ass hell
But Iris wants to bang one of the shady cholo's friends because apparently these chicks don't love themselves or something. None of these guys are remotely attractive! Aurora says that it's fine if they want to go but we don't want to go. Iris has Lerissa's keys and Aurora asks for them so they can go because Shonda offered to drive us home. Aurora said that Lerissa can pick up her car from Aurora's house since they only live like a block away from each other. Iris totally freaks out, "NO YOU CAN'T HAVE HER KEYS, IM A REAL ASS FRIEND AND I'M NOT LEAVING HER. I AINT NO FAKE ASS BITCH. I DONT LEAVE MY FRIENDS! BLAH BLAH *incoherent wharbleglarble*"
Sis, your friend left you. And we're not asking you to come with us. We're just asking for the keys so we can get home. Iris refuses. Her and Aurora have an argument in the parking lot. Shonda decides fuck this she's going to call her mom to come pick us up. Shonda's mom gets up at 3 am on a work night to come pick us up because she's the real MVP. Still none of us have heard from Lerissa and we are all very much pissed off.
The next morning still no call or text from Lerissa to apologize. We asked Liv and she told us that Lerissa ended up sleeping with the guy and they took her home the next morning. Liv also tells us that the reason Iris wouldn't give us the keys is because Lerissa told her specifically not to give us her keys. I have no idea how she expected us to get home with no keys. Liv also said that Lerissa got a ticket for leaving her car parked in Oceanside overnight. Aurora is all, "Karma is a bitch, I hope something bad happens to her for each person she left." The whole weekend passes by and we don't hear from Lerissa so finally Aurora decides to text her and tell her that she's still really upset with her for leaving us at the party. Lerissa is one of those people who can never be wrong and never apologizes so she pretty much responds with a blatant lie. "Oh I left because Shonda said that she would drive you guys home so it was ok." How exactly was Shonda supposed to drive us home when you told Iris not to give us the keys? Are we supposed to hop in our invisible Cadillac and drive that? I don't get it.
We tell her that, and all she responds with is, "I don't why you're not over it, I'm already over it." OF COURSE YOU'RE OVER IT, YOU DIDN'T GET LEFT IN ANOTHER CITY YOU STUPID HEARTLESS JEZEBEL! Aurora is conflicted because she's so insecure she starts to believe that maybe Lerissa is right and we're just overreacting. I'm having none of that shit. I grab Aurora's phone and I drag that bitch for filth. I point out every flaw in her argument, every promise she broke, every fucked up thing she did and every time we've ever had to deal with her selfish bullshit. Like I keep telling you guys, I'm fucking petty, and I never forget when someone fucks me or someone I care about over. Lerissa is the queen of fucking people over and that's why I never hang out with her unless I'm hanging out with Aurora. Aurora is such a nice person that she's always letting her slide with that shit. Not today sis, you're not going to fuck over my best friend and make it out like it's her fault. I really wanted to snatch out her raggedy ass extensions and smack those overdrawn eyebrows off her face, but this was via text so I had to use my words.
Lerissa still responds like she doesn't understand where this is coming from. She thinks that we're overreacting and we should just get over it and she's not going to apologize because she didn't do anything wrong. I tell her fine. We're not friends anymore. If Aurora still wants to be friends with you then that's fine but I'm not fucking with you until you apologize to her. I don't even want an apology for myself. I want an apology for Aurora because it was her birthday, you wanted to get her drunk, you got her drunk and then you left her. That's really fucked up.
I haven't spoken to her since. She still tries to like my posts on Facebook and shit. Stop it bitch, IDFWU.
Then comes Monday morning and Aurora goes into work. Everyone is asking how the birthday went and Aurora tells them about what happened. Lerissa then texts Aurora totally livid that Aurora had the nerve to tell people at work that Lerissa abandoned us to go fuck some dude she met a the club. Aurora is sorry and immediately wants to apologize even though Lerissa has yet to apologize to her. I keep telling Aurora fuck that bitch. She deserves to have her feelings hurt because she's an inconsiderate, self-centered trollop.
Aurora is way nicer than me and apologizes anyway, but tells her that she's still upset with her for what she did and if she's not going to take any responsibility for it then they're not going to be friends anymore. What does Lerissa do? Completely ignores it. Doesn't respond or anything. She does however wait a day to hit Aurora up asking if she can get weed from her. Aurora just said: "no."
She's a better person than I am. I would've cussed her out, again.
Since then we don't talk to Lerissa, but we did hear that not only did she get a ticket for leaving her car parked overnight but not even 2 days later someone busted out the window of her car while she was at some smoke shop. Then a couple days after that she rear ended someone and they were suing her for damages. Aurora's curse came true. Something bad happened to her for each person she left. I'm happy it did. I hope something bad happens to her for every day of her life. Fuck her.
