Things Fall Apart

So we've already established that I'm perpetually single because I'm perpetually crazy but this time I really tried my best not to be crazy, That's not exactly how that ended up working out..... but still, I tried.

Things with Alex was pretty good but I noticed that I always went out of my way to be available for him but he didn't do the same for me. Like if he texted me and I was busy he would continue to text me and I would respond because I'm not ignoring him, I'm genuinely busy. I even keep my read receipts on for that exact reason, so you know I haven't read it and I'm fucking busy. But it wasn't the same in reverse if he didn't want to text me back he'd go a whole day without texting me back and it was fine.

So at first I tried stating it in the sane way "you know I've noticed that I always seem to make time to respond to you and make plans with you but when I want to make plans or talk to you and you don't have time you don't even try to make time." And he tells me how he's a full time worker and a full time student and all that jazz. I get it, I've been there. But you're telling me all this shit about how you want a relationship but in my opinion for something to be a relationship you both have to make time for each other instead of one person always having to work around your needs.

And then I got drunk and he ignored me and I completely flipped out because I'm nuts and we already know that. I told him that this isn't worth it and that I'm deleting his number. I'm tired of always feeling like I make time for you and you don't make time for me! It's been a week and a half and I'm sick of it!

I didn't even get a response or anything, Didn't hear from him for a couple days, and it's not like I could text him to apologize because I deleted his number in a drunken rage.

I wait a couple days and finally he decides to text me. "Hey. It's Alex." And I'm at work so I want to text him but I was on the phone so I texted back "Hi. I'm busy right now I'll text you later." Then after I get off the phone I read another text "Actually, I'm just trying to figure out who this is."

So I text him with "How are you texting me if you don't know who this is?" Because that doesn't make any sense. If you deleted me then you wouldn't be texting me. And I highly doubt you memorized my number, forgot I existed and then randomly decided to text me. He responds with "Don't be shy, what's your name?"

I want to hit him because I know he's playing games and I don't have time for this at all. So I just text back "If you don't know who this is, then how did you get my number?"

He doesn't respond. I text him again because he's genuinely making me mad and I'm trying to find out what the fuck his problem is. He continues to ignore me so I blocked him and then deleted his number again because I don't have time for this shit. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid. I know a dumb little fuckboy game when I see one.

And the sex never got any better. The struggle continues.