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Dating is weird.

Posted by Mishelle, 19 March 2016 · 534 views

I broke up with Edward a week ago but I feel like I just made it official and in actuality he broke up with me without telling me we were broken up. He just randomly stopped calling and texting me. When I would text him he would text back, when I would call him he'd talk to me, but if I didn't contact him I literally didn't hear from him at all. I knew this was deliberate since whenever we hang out his phone is right there. He's always on his fucking phone watching MMA videos on Instagram like the basic bitch he is.


I asked him to go see Deadpool with me, but he went to see it without me and that's when I knew this nigga couldn't be trusted. So I basically went off on him about how he never calls me, he never texts me, we never do anything except hang out at one of our houses and go out to eat. He just acts like I'm just being crazy and asking me why I always think something is wrong and why I'm always mad.




When we first started dating we texted every day. He used to call me me every day, sometimes more than once a day. To go from that to zero contact is a red flag that something is wrong. I'm not stupid. I have never been in a relationship where we go a whole week without talking. His excuse was "I've been really busy lately" and I know for a fact that's a lie because he's boring as hell. Every time I talk to him he's at his house watching Netflix.


What are you busy with, Edward? Orange is the New Black? Fuck outta here.


So he acts all exasperated and says "Ok lets hang out tonight" but I had already made plans with Aurora and even tho I'm still contemplating cutting her ass loose every day I'm not a flake. I'm not the type of person to tell someone I'll hang out with them and then ditch them to hang out with someone else. I have friend ethics. So I told him no we can't hang out that night but maybe over the weekend. He says that sounds good and he'll call me.


He doesn't call me. I have to call him. Again.


And he tells me he can't hang out that weekend because he's going to his sister's birthday party. I don't know why he couldn't call me and let me know that before. If I hadn't called him I know I just wouldn't have heard from him at all. Then the next weekend he told me to call him on Saturday and we were going to hang out but then when Saturday came he wouldn't return any of my calls or texts. That's when I decided I'm over this and I'm going to break this off and find someone else.


So I dragged him. I told him how rude he is and how I'm really upset that he wasted my time AGAIN when he could've just told me he didn't want to hang out anymore. I don't understand the point of continuously making plans with me just to blow me off when the time comes unless he's deliberately trying to make me feel like shit about myself. Well you picked the wrong one hunny, cuz if you don't want to treat me right someone else will. I don't have to deal with this, and since he won't man up and end this relationship that he clearly doesn't give a shit about, I will.


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And that's when I met Alex. Alex is a political science professor at Riverside College, he's really hot, and he's really English. We both love politics, we're both passionate about activism and social justice, we hate sports, and we both love Kendrick Lamar and Beyonce. He's really straight edge. He doesn't drink, he doesn't smoke weed, and he's a vegan. I drink a lot, I smoke almost every day and you'll have to pry cheese from my cold dead hands.


But we decided to meet up last night and we both had a really good time. I had him meet me and my friend Laura since she was meeting her new boyfriend. I don't know why Laura is always cradle robbing but she got herself a 21 year old boy now. He's really nice though. He's the exact opposite of Brandon. Brandon was boring as hell but this new guy Keanu has so much energy I can't even handle it. He's like a puppy, I get tired just watching him. But Laura is the exact same way so I see why they get along so well.


So the best thing about Alex being straight edge is that we had a guaranteed designated driver. So Laura was free to get drunk with me. Laura got white girl wasted but I just got a bit tipsy. I wanted to remain coherent enough to keep my conversation with Alex going. We pretty much talked the whole night which is really hard to do in a loud ass club when you're just getting over the flu. The only time we didn't talk was when Work by Rihanna came on and I had to back it up on him.


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There's one thing about Alex because of course there's no such thing as perfection. Alex is polyamorous and he's very open about that fact. I do respect that he's open and honest about it because most guys would just cheat on you. He has a girlfriend in the UK and another girlfriend in Oceanside who has 2 other boyfriends. I don't know shit about polyamory but he made it pretty clear that he's not just out to have casual sex and sleep with a bunch of girls and that he's really interested in pursuing a relationship with me. I told him I'd be open to trying it out because I feel like no matter how this goes we're still going to be really good friends. I don't see the point in passing up a good guy just because he openly admits that he's not monogamous, especially when most non-monogamous guys just lie about it. I don't see myself having 3 boyfriends anytime soon. Not because of a moral objection or anything, mostly because I'm really lazy and I can't even imagine how much effort that would take to keep up.


I used to be strictly monogamous but as I've gotten older I've started to question and unpack why I feel that way. I realize we've all been socialized to see monogamy as the ideal. And I also understand why monogamy would be considered an ideal when you factor in kids. But I never plan on getting married, and I'm not 100% sold on kids. It could happen in the future, but if I never had kids it wouldn't bother me so I don't really see why I consider it an ideal when it doesn't really benefit me. But I was totally honest with him about the fact that I'm crazy. I don't ultimately know how I'm going to feel being in a relationship with a guy who has 2 other girlfriends. Maybe I'll lose my shit and fly into a jealous rage, maybe I'll get 10 boyfriends. We can only wait and see. I'll let y'all know how this works out.

February 2019

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