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Karla's Stuff and Things

Now I remember why I hate my mother...

Posted by Karla, 28 July 2017 · 703 views

Since my previous entry, which I talked about my mother getting angry at me for the stupidest reasons, she had stopped talking to me because I decided that she shouldn't be driving me to rehearsal due to her sleeping at the wheel. And because I seem to be so much like her, I decided to stop talking to her too, for over two months, because I knew that talking to her civilly is next to impossible. She had the nerve to ask me what she did wrong and why I wasn't talking to her, but she clearly knew why, and never admitted it. Since then, we both agreed that if something was bothering us, we would talk about it, and not ignore each other. (<---remember this sentence)




Now apparently she stopped talking to my father, for reasons I can only speculate. Whenever she wants to tell him something, she uses me and my brother to get her message across instead of talking to him directly. I told her today that "I'm not her little messenger, and if she wants to talk to Dad, she should do the grown up thing and actually talk to him. I hate being used." So what does she do?


...She gets angry at me for not doing what she should've been doing. And now she stopped talking to me again.


Now, you're probably thinking: "Karla, why are you getting worked up about this? This is no big deal!"


But that's the thing. THIS IS NOT A BIG DEAL.
But my mother likes to make things a bigger deal than they should be. Whenever she does or says something to somebody that is clearly her fault, she always turns it around to make herself look like the victim. To add insult to injury, she likes to stop talking to people whenever she feels like they're wrong, and after a while, she wonders why they aren't talking to her. I'm so sick and tired of it!! I even told her that I'm sick and tired of her doing this, but she keeps doing it anyway!


Well, fuck it. I might just consider not talking to her again, because there's absolutely no point talking to her. NO. POINT. There's no point in talking to a person if they're just going to keep being a total jerk to you. I'm gonna give her a week, and if she keeps ignoring me, then I'm going to ignore her for a hell of a lot longer than two months.


Sure, it's not the right thing to do, but it's right to me, because there's no point in spending your time with someone who's just going to be a cancer in your life. I suppose Dad had the right idea...

I'm Running Out of Compassion for my Family

Posted by Karla, 08 March 2017 · 245 views

Please do not mistake this for an "emo" post, because it's not. It's more of a rant.


About three weeks ago, my mother was driving me to orchestra rehearsal. Normally, I would drive there myself, but the road on the way there tends to be very dangerous, so my folks don’t want me driving on it.


While my mother drove, she started saying that her eyes were getting heavy. She nearly fell asleep at the wheel twice, and I had to yell at her just to keep her awake. One of those times, she almost got us into an accident. When we stopped for dinner, I insisted that I drive the rest of the way to rehearsal, but she kept insisting that she keep on driving. I’m not going to lie, I was scared about what happened, and I was scared the rest of the way home, thinking she was going to fall asleep again. Thankfully, she didn’t. She told me not to tell my dad what happened, and being the stupid person I was… I didn’t tell him.


Well, about a day or two later, she was driving (not with me), and she told me that she felt sleepy, she closed her eyes, and the moment she opened them, she was on the wrong side of the road. About a day later, my dad found out what’s been happening. We had a bit of a long talk, and I told him that I was putting my foot down, and that until we could find out what’s ailing my mother, she shouldn’t be driving me to rehearsal.


Last week, my mother insisted that she was taking me to rehearsal. I had to decline, of course, because I didn’t want to risk her getting us both into an accident, and until she finds out what’s making her drowsy at the wheel, she shouldn’t be driving. Of course, she didn’t listen to me. She didn’t even listen to my dad when he talked to her. So when rehearsal day came, she said she was taking me. I said no, she’s not. Dad and I walked out the door, and before I stepped out, she said, “You two remember this…”


She ignored my father and me for several days. I’m just so flabbergasted as to why she would be angry with me because I looked after her safety. I should also mention that my dad goes into surgery in about two weeks, and he won't be able to do anything for two months. I anticipate my mother getting angry at me and refusing to drive me to rehearsal (That's okay, because I don't trust her behind the wheel anyway), so I'll tell her that I'm going to be driving myself to rehearsal. If she says I can't, then I'll simply have to skip rehearsals until my father recovers. Of course, she'll say no to that, but what other fucking choice do I have??


I’m getting sick and tired of my mother being angry with me for the stupidest reasons, and I’m getting sick of her in general. I’m sick of her trying to control me, I’m sick of her trying to victim-blame, and I’m sick of her trying to shift the argument to make herself look like the victim whenever she's clearly in the wrong. I can’t bother wasting my time on a family member who doesn’t appreciate what I do for them.


From now on, my relationship with her is completely loveless. Whatever compassion I had left for her is gone.


I don’t hate her, but I don’t love her either. I can never forgive her for the things she’s done, and I certainly cannot forgive her for this. If she thinks that risking getting me and her killed is a better option than playing it safe, and then decides to act petty about it, then I want nothing to do with her.


Being an adult is hard.

2016 in review

Posted by Karla, 31 December 2016 · 188 views
happy, new, year, 2016, 2017

I've got about 15 minutes before the new year, so I better type this ASAP.


Apart from the numerous celebrity deaths, the political events and elections, and terrorist catastrophes around the world, I'd say my year was about average.


The Good

  • I took Corporate Design & Branding, one of the most anticipated classes on my list. Passed with an A
  • I took Professional Design Practices and got to learn a bunch of professional dos and don'ts, plus our teacher was awesome. Passed with an A-
  • I got my graphic design certificate!
  • I landed an internship with Monument Wealth Management. It's unpaid, but I can still use it in my resume.
  • I found an item that I lost, and ended up with two of that item.


The Bad

  • I took Introduction to Photography, one of the least anticipated classes I've taken, plus our teacher was a dick. Passed with a B+
  • I've been ignored by people who I considered friends. AGAIN. When am I going to learn from this...
  • My mother almost died. She had blood clots in her lungs, and her constant breathing was a symptom. Thankfully her doctor caught it in time.
  • I've decided to delete my Facebook. For the most part, I'm glad I'm done with fake news and status updates that depress me, but I've also lost contact with some people I actually liked.


Earlier this year, I predicted "My prediction is that 2016 is gonna be a crazy motherf*ckin' year. :o" For the most part, I was right. I'm hoping 2017 will be a little more successful for me. I seem to be on my way, for now.

AVT 414 Completed (Overdue Entry)

Posted by Karla, 17 August 2016 · 266 views
school, corporate, branding and 2 more...

It just occurred to me that I forgot to write about how AVT 414, Corporate Branding & Design, went this summer.


...That's the thing. It just... went.


That's not to say that it was merely a summer class and it's shorter than regular semester classes, but I hardly felt like I had the class at all. We stayed less than the allotted time, which was 4 hours, and we had a whopping 2 weeks off from the class, which was supposed to be about 8. This was because my teacher was apparently going on vacation with his mother in California.




Despite that, I did learn quite a lot from the class. However I honestly felt like I learned more from the other students than I did the teacher. They offered actual critique on how to improve my design and work, but the teacher was all like "Do this, do this, do that, and this... FABULOUS!"


That's not to say he's a bad teacher (phew!). He's a good teacher. I fee like he could have been better if he had taught a full semester and not just a shortened one. BUT that's the price I pay for taking Summer classes.


Miraculously, I was able to get into the last class I need to take before I can complete my certificate. That's AVT 413 (Professional Design Practices). This is a capstone class, so I'm honestly kind of nervous. I've also been hearing rumors that people switch out of this particular teacher's class because he tends to make people cry. XD.


Also I just found out that he's a Grad student. wat?




...I'm going to bed.

I. Hate. Photography.

Posted by Karla, 10 May 2016 · 347 views
hate, photography, spring, 2016

It’s probably no surprise that I hate photography and my photography teacher at this point, but now, I hate them more than ever.


This morning was the day we were supposed to present out final projects. When I got to class along with some other people at our original time (10:30 AM), we were unfortunate to be met with a lowered grade because we came in late. A lot of us were confused, because we came in when class started. But according to our teacher, we were supposed to abide by the Final Exam Schedule and come in at 9:45 AM. Only a few people got this memo, while the rest of us did not!


There was nowhere in the final project instructions that we were supposed to come in at 9:45 AM, and he did not tell us before the project was due that we were supposed to come in at 9:45 AM. We told him about this, and he said that he’s “not supposed to be our fucking parent and hold our hand through everything that takes place.” (ßhis actual words).


I pointed out that the exam schedule said that the time slot was from 9:45AM to 11:45AM. Technically, we should still be given full credit for our projects because we all came in at 10:30AM. He was reluctant to let this slide, and he wasn’t going to allow us to present either. He told us that we were lazy and not following directions, but how the hell are we supposed to follow instructions that more than half the class didn’t receive?!


The people in my class and I were flustered about this, saying that his instructions weren't clear. One student said that he was reporting this to the dean, and the teacher took it as a threat, saying "You're threatening me?! You're threatening to report me to the dean to give you a higher grade?!"


So I called my mother while I was coming home and told her what happened. She sounded appalled, and said I should report this to the dean or whoever was in charge. So I went back to the university, and I asked a woman at the front desk that I wanted to file a complaint about what happened in my class. The person I was supposed to talk to wasn’t in their office today, so the lady gave me their contact information. As soon as I got home, I was just about to file my complaint with the Associate Director, and then I got this email from my Photography teacher:


There seemed to be some confusion this morning when class started. Under GMU Spring Final Schedule 2016 class started at 9:45, but it seems that most had a different impression when class started. To save myself from BS drama you guys get a pass.”


Oh. My. God.


This guy’s got a lot of fucking nerve. He probably knew that people were going to complain about this, and decided to make up for it by sparing us. I was tempted to file the complaint anyway, but my mother and I figured, what’s done is done.


In conclusion for this semester: This semester was a clusterfuck of bad instruction with terrible feedback methods. My Editorial teacher didn’t give us graded feedback. He gave us vague message telling us whether or not our assignments looked good enough, so we didn't know how we were actually doing in the class. So everyone had to put all their energy into their magazines and pray that we did a good enough job to get a good grade. My Photography teacher didn’t give us our grades for our projects until about a month or two after we submitted them, so we didn’t get a clear idea of how we were doing. Not to mention, he hardly taught us anything at all. Most of what I learned came from online articles and tutorials. This has never happened to me with my past teachers. When we turned in our projects, we got feedback on them within at least a week, and the teachers actually knew how to teach. This was not the case this semester though. I dunno if this is because of me having male teachers or if those teachers were just shitty in general, but I did not enjoy this semester at all.


I need to eat.

Dreams and Nightmares: Mostly Nightmares

Posted by Karla, 27 February 2016 · 286 views
school, photography, dreams and 1 more...

My latest assigned project for my Intro to Digital Photography class is titled "Dreams and Nightmares," but this project has literally been nothing but a nightmare!!


The techniques we need to use are fast shutter speed, slow shutter speed, and panning, so the subjects in our photos need to be moving. The problem is, nothing moves around here! And there's almost nowhere for me to go to take pictures of moving objects without the possibilities of being heckled by security, dropping the camera, or getting hit by cars!


Not to mention, just like my last project, we need a total of 300 photos by the end of the project. I'm hardly able to get 20!


I really fucking hate this class. This class wasn't even supposed to be a requirement. While in the middle of the program, I was given a choice to take either Web Design or Digital Photography. Naturally I chose Web Design because I felt I would benefit more from this class, plus I hate photography. HOWEVER, while taking this class, the curriculum changed, and now I had to take both classes.


I was unlucky enough to register in a section that had one of the worst teachers I've ever had the (dis)satisfaction of being taught under. Our teacher is also a hipster. I really hate his attitude. He always speaks so stoically, and he swears a lot. News flash: Swearing doesn't make you a cool teacher. He doesn't even teach us anything. He just instructs us to look up tutorials on Lynda.com and expects spectacular results. And here I thought my Editorial Design teacher was going to be a PITA, but my Photography teacher is way worse!


Ugh, my head hurts.

AVT 217 & AVT 311 Completed, 2016 Here I Come!

Posted by Karla, 29 December 2015 · 195 views

I had meant to post this earlier, but me, being the lazy slob I am, eventually forgot to.


So I finished AVT 217 (Introduction to Web Design) and AVT 311 (Graphic Design Methods & Principles) I ended up taking a leave from Codex so I could concentrate on doing well in these classes. I'd say it was worth it, because I'd have bombed these courses hard if I didn't!


I got an A in my Web Design Course. I worried at first, because I was going to have to learn HTML and CSS coding, both of which I had little to no experience with. Turns out as time went on that it wasn't that hard at all, and was actually a lot of fun. I could have gotten an A+ in the course if I didn't completely spaz out on my midterm and final (I ended up missing points because I couldn't code a fucking nav bar correctly in BOTH tests). Even though this course is over, I'm going to continue studying web design techniques in my spare time.
You can check my coursework on this webpage (As long as it's active, of course...) http://kcsmith.byethost16.com/weekly/




I ended up getting a B+ in the Methods & Principles course. Our teacher was a very hard grader. I think there may have only been one student that ended up with an A in the course. Everyone else ended up with lower grades because we either missed a deadline or implemented a technique(s) that she didn't like. I only got one A for one of my projects, and ended up getting B+s for the rest. I'm satisfied with my grade because 1.) I finally got a teacher who doesn't feel obligated to give out all As, and 2.) It shows that I am not perfect and that there are a lot of things I need to learn. I don't think my mother was satisfied though. At first (during midterms) she said that I wasn't trying hard enough. After getting my final grade, she had wished that my teacher eased up and gave me an A instead. I suppose she's got the "Asian F" mentality going on (Anyone who watched Glee would know what I'm talking about).
(Feeling too lazy to attempt to show off my 311 work, sorry!)


In spring, I have to take AVT 253 (Introduction to Digital Photography) and AVT 313 (Editorial Design). Both of these courses are gonna be taught by men, and given my history with male teachers, this semester will not be easy... so I'm probably going to disappear again.


Primarily, I was offered a decision to take either AVT 217 or 253. I chose to take 217. HOWEVER, the curriculum had recently changed, so my counsellor told me that I have to take both of them. That totally blows. These teachers talk to me like money grows on trees... I don't want to spend more money on courses than I have to.


Anyway, ONWARD TO 2016!! It's gonna be a crazy year!

Am I A Financial Curse?

Posted by Karla, 23 August 2015 · 400 views
money, troubles

So recently on the forums, I've been listing things that have been going kaput or malfunctioning in our house. Here’s what’s broken or previously fixed:

  • Our New Dishwasher (Leaks)
  • LAN phones (Doesn’t make calls. It’s fixed now.)
  • My mother’s bathtub (Leaks)
  • My father’s Entertainment System (Doesn’t turn on. It's fixed now.)
  • Washing Machine (Stops in mid-cycle)


I should note that I was the last person to use all of these things before they started malfunctioning. We’ve had to spend quite a deal of money to get some of these things fixed, and I can’t help but feel like I’ve caused all this. This has been going on for as long as I can remember, probably since the 6th grade.


Not to mention we have to pay the tuition for my certificate program at the University. I’ve offered to pay for part of the tuition, but whenever I look at my parents’ faces, they say, “I need to figure out how I’m going to pay for all this.”


Yesterday I overheard my dad speaking with his friend on the phone. He told him that he’s “starting to realize how it feels to be in debt,” because he has to help pay my tuition and pay for the repairs of everything that’s breaking in the house. So naturally, this made me feel guilty.


Today I told my mother about how I felt, but she tells me not to worry. Coincidentally she showed me a news article today with the headline “Don’t Let Your Adult Children Dampen Your Retirement Financially.”




Just now (while writing this entry) Dad has brought to our attention that we've used over 1 GB of data on our phone plan. He plans on decreasing the GB usage with his new plan, so we have to use less data. I've looked into my data usage, and it turns out I was the one who used the majority of the data. SO YEAH, no watching videos for me for a while.


SO…Whether or not I’m cursed, I’m going to try and keep my hands off things so I don’t curse them into malfunction. I’m also going to try and go out and drive less if it’ll save some money.


WTF is wrong with me.

AVT 215 Complete. Mommy's sick.

Posted by Karla, 23 July 2015 · 399 views

Earlier this week I've completed my typography course. I passed the class with a 98% (A+, according to the grading guidlines) :D I'd have probably gotten a 100% if my quizzes and one of my projects didn't have freaking typos. SO NOTE TO SELF: CHECK FOR TYPOS.

Starting September 1, I'm to take AVT 217 (Introduction to Web Design) and AVT 311 (Graphic Design Methods / Principals) My folks and I agreed that I should not do the Sinfonietta orchestra, at least for the fall, because it's going to take away time to study and do assignments for the fall, but they still want me to do the Symphony on the Potomac, because it pays money. If anything, that's the orchestra I need to drop, because it's held on Thursdays, one of the days that I have class. But thankfully the class is over at 1:10pm, so I can rest up before I have to go. I should stop complaining. :p

I'd show you guys my work, but they're physically constructed paragraphs, and I'm too lazy to take pictures now. XD


After I told my folks that I passed the class with an A+, they let me pick the place to eat. I chose Baja Fresh since it's so close by. They fucked up my order, of course, but they got everyone else's right.

This morning, my mother got sick. she suspects that it's food poisoning from the restaurant we ate from last night. I feel like I poisoned her. :C

Hopin' on the Bandwagon because I can

Posted by Karla, 01 June 2015 · 325 views
bandwagon, questions
1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
Not really.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
1. I’m used to the dark.

3. The person you would never want to meet?
A politician.

4. What is your favorite word?

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
A pine tree. They smell good.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
Why do I look so ugly?”

7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a T-Shirt with a decal of Elphaba and the words “Defy Gravity” on it.

8. What do you label yourself as?
A loser. At least until I can get a job, then I’d identify myself as a dork.

9. Bright room or dark room?
Bright room, when I’m awake, anyways.

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
I think I was prepping my own lists for the AC.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
9. The only age I felt like I was accepted.

12. Who told you they loved you last?
I can’t remember. I guess my Mom? She only said that when she told me to do something for her.

13. Your worst enemy?
Procrastination. It’s gonna kill me, I swear.

14. What is your current desktop picture?
A Windows 7 stock picture. I think It’s a mossy BG with waterfalls and rocks.

15. Do you like someone?
Currently, no.

16. The last song you listened to?
Oh Sherrie by Steve Perry.

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
Too many people to name. Um… the violist sitting behind me? He’s kind of an asshole.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Too many people to name. I’d like to start with my mother first.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
I want my brother to serve me his favorite meals for a day.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
My eyes, methinks.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
I'd probably be tall, dark and handsome, and do whatever I wanted without being judged.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
Other than the hobbies I’ve listed, I don’t think I have a secret talent.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
Asian men. Don’t ask me why.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
A simple BLT.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
Put it towards my education. Can’t let a penny go to waste.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
Gotta go to Cedar Park in Cleveland!

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
Nothing. I don’t drink, though I feel like I should.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
No people allowed.” I need some alone time. Preferably forever.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
My Vaio Laptop.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Picking up the viola.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My grandmother. Out of everyone in my family, she’s the only one who didn’t give me shit.

34. What was your last dream about?
Umm… I don’t remember exactly. I only remember it being school-related.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?
[Kisser] Um… no. Never been kissed before.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

37. Have you ever built a snowman?
I built a “snowdog.” Does that count?
38. What is the color of your socks?

Mine are checkered black and white with yellow tips. The word “Taxi” is written on the top.

39. What type of music do you like?
Anything. Kind of depends on my mood.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
sunsets. I’m never awake to see sunrises. XD

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

42. What football team do you support?
I don’t like football, so no teams.

43. Do you have any scars?
Yes. One on the face my brother gave me a long time ago.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
An animator and graphic designer.

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My skin color.

46. Are you reliable?
In dire situations, yes. Otherwise, nope. :p

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
Are you still afraid of bees?

48. Do you hold grudges?
Yes. I have a lot of them…

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
A bear and a tiger. I’d love to see striped bears. :o

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
A stranger kept telling me these weird tales about religion. I’m not religious, so I couldn’t relate.

51. Are you a good liar?
Not anymore.

52. How long could you go without talking?

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
Curled hair that makes me look like a muffintop. My mother still thinks this is attractive…

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
No. Do cookies count?

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
Yes; British, Scottish, and “Valley Girl”

56. What do you like on your toast?
Butter. Yum.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

58. What would be you dream car?
One of those new Teslas. They look so rad.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
I speak to myself. Then again I do that all the time.

60. Do you believe in aliens?
Yes. Millions of them are living in America right now.

61. Do you often read your horoscope?
Only when I think about it.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
Don’t have one.

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

64. What do you think about babies?
They’re cute, but they’re annoying.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.
Why wasn’t this quiz 69 questions?

November 2017

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