I just feel like the way Erik’s mom is asking to help him sounds like she’s implying I shouldn’t be sitting on my ass. Also I don’t understand why the fuck the coffee table needs to be completely clear. Wtf. I cannot take another Christmas here.
I’m not evening sitting on my ass??? I’ve literally cleaned and picked up ALL of my stuff. I just need to carry some things upstairs which I will do before I go to bed.
I don’t fucking understand Christmas here. Seriously. It’s like the place literally has to appear as a minimalist house.
On top of thay, they celebrate Christmas morning?? Like they have always opened presents in the early morning. Wtf.
I grew up opening em at midnight. I’d much rather stay up late to open them rather than wake up ungodly early to do so. Fucking stupid ass shit.
And clearing our coffee table?? Like this area that Erik and I use all the time BASICALLY has to be clear of EVERYTHING. It’s like she wants us to clear everything now so that, what, afterwards Erik and I can just stare at a wall until Christmas is over? I just don’t fucking get it.
I miss simpler Christmas. Not this stupid ass stressful shit. Throw your shade elsewhere. Get that fucking stressful, negative, “I’m-stressing-hardcore-so-you-need-to-also” attitude outta here. Fucking hell. I want to go back to where Christmas was a family thing, not some family gathering treated like a formal party. I miss my Christmases. I know they weren’t huge or extravagant but at least when Christmas Eve rolled around no one was stressed the fuck out. It was all about being grateful and spending time with family doing family things and such. Why would you turn Christmas into such a stressful fucking holiday?? Absolutely wrong and pointless. You can’t paint this picture perfect royal Christmas gathering without people faking their Christmas spirit.
I think that’s why I am not excited for Christmas this year. I think that’s why I’m not in much of a Christmas spirit this year, if I have any spirit at all. This family’s crazy ass Christmas reduced what little spirit I had.
I want to go back. To Texas. To MY family. To MY Christmases. It sucks so bad. It fucking sucks to say that. Either I leave for Texas or I leave this household. So much stupid shit here, it’s not for me. Honestly I wouldn’t be here if Erik and I had the means to get our own place. But we don’t. We cant. So I’m fucking stuck, again.
Fucking AWESOME CHRISTMAS.
Oh and to add to my current problems, my eyes have been MAD itchy for 3 hours. Like, ridiculously so. And since dinner, my chest has felt like it’s tightened and I’m having trouble breathing/ I have coughing fits. Ugh.
I almost wish those are heart attack symptoms.