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Words of Peackocky



18 days and counting down!

Posted by Jozie, 03 June 2016 · 615 views
30, birthday, life

Ugh! In 18 days, I am going to turn 30! I do not feel like I am 30 what so ever! Like I still feel like I am 21-23. That being said, I know that I am literally about to cross over into the real ADULT realm. I start my internship on Monday at 8:30am and I am a senior in college, about to graduate. Well, not really, I still have 3 semesters to go! Not to mention, Ryan and I have our own place for the first time and it isn't an easy transition financially, which is stressing both of us out. We are great, thankfully, but the stress is unreal!

 

At some point this summer, I need to find local sponsors for our Psychology Club and Psi-Chi since I am the President of the two groups! I don't even know where to start to get sponsors, what I have to do, say, ask! I am so not ready to put on my big girl panties.

 

I feel like my life is about to take off, and so fast, that I am going to lose control! This is a real fear of mine! I never wanted to grow up fast as a child. Even now, I don't want to grow up! I play on child game sites like Neopets, which is admittedly all players who started playing years ago and are 30 and older now playing because of nostalgia. I keep re-watching shows like Gossip Girl, Laguna Beach, The Hills, The OC... things from when I was in high school to first year in college.

 

I didn't get to be your typical rebellious teenager and I think that's why I refuse to grow up! I was a goody goody, listened to my dad all the time. I didn't drink or party. In fact, my first drink was at the age of 23... on my birthday! The night ended with me getting arrested! I got a misdemeanor for public intoxication! I was crawling around on the ground meowing at people (because cats rule the world), and then I fell down the stairs of the bridge that allows pedestrians cross the road without having to worry about vehicles.

 

Anyways, if anyone here wants to grow up super fast, JUST DON'T! Enjoy life in the NOW!

 

What is up with the sporks?




Bored... so I did this!

Posted by Jozie, 03 June 2016 · 567 views

Posted Image Posted Image

 

Posted Image

 

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I can't use the 200 x 200 graphics because the file size it too big.

 

While SS'ing for the AC, once I fixed the proxy problem I had, I have been busy all day unpacking, STILL! I feel like it never ends! I have also been doing laundry and washing all the kitchen dishes that I unpacked so I know they are clean!

 

I miss my tarot cards! I want to play around with them! I lost my closest deck in 2008 due to a fire in the apartment complex I lived in on July 4th. I lost everything. That day, I learned that I could survive with nothing but my car! I literally rebuilt my life. My boyfriend at the time and I went to Michigan with his family for the 4th of July festivities however he and his mom got into a big old fight so we left. When we got home, we weren't able to park in our normal spot. So we found a parking space somewhere else and walked to our apartment. We literally arrived when the fire reached our home! We could see everything burning through our front sliding doors. Everything in me just wanted to run in there and grab some things. But they wouldn't let me.

 

That's just one of the many things that have happened in my life that truly made me the person I am today!

 

Oh, it is totally storming out right now and it is amazing! I love thunderstorms!




Just a few pictures of my little family

Posted by Jozie, 28 May 2016 · 572 views

Meet the family!

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Some funny pics of me and a goat!

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Competitions I entered!

Posted by Jozie, 28 May 2016 · 487 views
competition, contest

Customization Contest #37

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Draw That Scribble #2 WINNER!

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Themed Writing Contest #14 WINNER!

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Photoshop Battle #9

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SOTW
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Draw that Scribble #1

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Spring Mad Libs

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Spring Colouring Contest

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I will update this as I participate in other future contests and competitions, once voting has completed!




Woah - it's getting DEEP in here!

Posted by Jozie, 27 May 2016 · 689 views

So, I got the internship for Probation and Parole!!! I know, exciting isn't it! I start on June 6th! I can't wait. I am very nervous about it, because this is my first real big girl "job." It's make it or break it for me in this field. If I do well, they will want to hire me. This job is more than taking food orders, making food orders, or ringing people up for gas or items. I am dealing with real humans, real emotions, real situations that require me to do more than just smile and wish them a good day! I have to listen and know what to do to help people. I have to go above and beyond to help these people no matter what they did. I am the first line of rehabilitation once these people leave jail or prison! Everything is on my shoulders to make this world a better place. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating a bit here. But come on, that's how I feel with this internship!

 

In 2.5 hours, I will be on the road with my man driving to Alabama to get his daughter! That is a whole 'nother stressful story that I may get into another time. So, all in all, we will be on the road for 6+ hours total picking her up and driving back to TN. My man will be driving and I know he isn't looking forward to it at all. He will have worked from 7-5 and then be on the road from 5-11 (but I am sure it will be later). The bright side, we will go to the Nashville Zoo, since Katie (his daughter) wants to go there. I love the Zoo. The Toledo Zoo will always be #1 in my heart, followed by the Birmingham zoo! That was pretty cool! I can't wait to go to the Nashville zoo for comparing purposes. I love seeing the animals. I love seeing the smile on Katie's face when she sees the animals and they interact with her! I can't wait until we can bring her to my home town for vacation and she can go to the Toledo Zoo! Oh, and then there's Cedar Point. I worked 6 summers at Cedar Point. That was the top most favorite places to work ever, and working there, meeting everyone I did, really helped make me the person I am today!

 

--------------------------------------------- Time to get deep ---------------------------- I warned ya --------------------------------------------------

 

Before Cedar Point, I was this super strict christian girl *puts finger down throat* who believed no sex before marriage, and gays shouldn't be married and their relationship isn't godly. I refused to listen to secular music if I could help it. I prayed all the time and read the bible daily. I went to church 4 days a week. Thanks to my dad kicking me out of the home in 2006 because he didn't believe me when I called him to say, "My car has a flat and I need you to come pick me up so I can make it to church tomorrow." If he hadn't kicked me out, I would not be where I am today and who I am today. I realized that if my father can't be there for me, how can god be there for me (who is a father figure).

 

Through that, I was homeless for 4 weeks. I lived in my car and cleaned up in Target (a store) across from where I worked. Then, my sister had room for me to move in with her, so I did. She saved me. But through that experience, and absolutely no fault of my sister's, I was raped and became pregnant. I was a virgin. I becme very sick, lost weight way too fast, and had to quit my job because I was unable to stand up for more than 5 minutes and everything made me vomit, like every smell! All I could eat were red dyed foods like red jello, red koolaid, red popsicles. That was my diet. No wonder I lost so much weight! I forced myself to eat corn flakes for a week, but they were so gross coming back up, I couldn't do it anymore.

 

That was all after the first summer I had worked at Cedar Point. I decided I wanted to work for Cedar Point again, but I was pregnant. I was also very sick and refused to go see the doctor. My sister forced me to go, which was for the best. There, we found out that my baby was attacking my body, which is why I was so sick! So, I had to make that tough decision, save the baby or save myself. I guess we know what I chose. Because I didn't have insurance, I would've had to pay out of pocket for all medical procedures done to me to save the baby and myself. Since I didn't have a tree that grew money in my back yard, and with advice from my sister and doctor, I had a medical abortion! My baby would be 10 years old today if it had lived. That is crazy!

 

Well, as you can see, I write whatever comes to mind. I never blog knowing exactly what I want to blog. I never know how long or short my blog will be. I just write what pops into my head because there's a reason I need to get it out of my head. I don't know these reasons, so I don't question it. I just write.

 

Thanks for reading, I know it was long. Have a great day/ weekend!




Why do I care about Solitary Confinement so much?

Posted by Jozie, 24 May 2016 · 786 views

Ok, so I have been unpacking things for the last hour! I am exhausted already lol. Been moving fast and lots of body turns and twirls lol! Very dizzy!

 

Tomorrow, I have an interview for my internship this summer at probation and parole! I really hope I get it! The problem, I could come off too excited, too, friendly, and too nice. In the job field I want to get into, to include this internship, I kinda have to be a bitch! Otherwise, everyone, including probationees and parolees, will walk all over me! But, I do mean business, I am tough, I am strong, and I am stern! But I gotta have a reason to be that way, otherwise I am just in my airy, happy, smiley mood, which makes me seem aloof and inexperienced in life. Interviews make me happy, I enjoy interviews. I have only not gotten one job after an interview, and it was because of my credit! I am golden in interviews.

 

So, to prepare me for this interview, I am dying my hair much darker so that I emote confidence and strength. I also went out to buy an outfit for the interview that is business casual, shows my personality and also screams "in control." I bought neutral makeup to wear, just eye shadow and lip gloss. Too much makeup is not good for an interview. You want them to see you!

 

I hope I am not over thinking the interview. I really want this internship because my plan is to work there after I graduate from college. This will be the career that I will work in when my man and I start to grow our family. It will also be what gives me the experience to help get me into graduate school along with all my research experience. I am actually going to two graduate schools, first University of Alabama Birmingham and then John Jay College of Criminal Justice where I hope to work for Steven Penrod!

 

My goal is to get my Ph.D., do research in the prison system about solitary confinement and how it effects people mentally, physically and emotionally, and then publish that research to then go out and start a reform of solitary confinement. I am not against solitary confinement, it is needed, but I am against the maltreatment the prisoners get during their stay in solitary.

 

Now before you go off and say, "Well, they are in prison for something horrible, they deserve what they get." Not everyone is in prison for something awful. That being said, you can't pick and choose who gets good solitary confinement treatment and who gets bad solitary confinement treatment. My mom spent a year in prison because of the court system! My mom and dad divorced. My dad didn't want child support (I lived with my dad). The court ordered my mom to still pay it. She couldn't even afford to pay it. So, my dad told her not to worry about it. They got the agreement notarized. 5 years go by, and boom, mom was pulled over on a traffic violation and found she had a warrant for her arrest. So she went to jail to figure it all out. During her court hearing, the judge had no sympathy for her and sent her to prison for a year. Now my mom has some mental problems as it is. So when she went she didn't do so well. People who could be a target of violence (my mom) will be sent to solitary for their protection. So, my mom, who did nothing wrong in prison, was left in solitary and forgotten for 2 weeks. She got her food but she didn't get anything else. I was not allowed to visit her per my dad's request as well as my mom's, she didn't want me to see her in prison. So, my amazing, loving, caring mother was not treated like a normal human being. She was treated like garbage, thrown out the car window, and forgotten! This is never ok!

 

So there is my background on why I care so much about solitary confinement reform! I have already started my thesis for graduate school. I will be able to defend it!

 

So, working in probation and parole, I will be able to talk to parolees who were in prison, and get information gathered to build up my thesis. This is why getting the internship is so important to me.




Dead Journal Entry

Posted by Jozie, 21 May 2016 · 562 views
blog

This was an entry I wrote when I was a senior 10 years ago, my own writing! Holy Fuck!

 

The Truck... Your Life! Feb. 3rd, 2006 | 05:20 pm http://www.deadjourn.../1549815/487063

 

Insane Feelings: Posted Image cynical
Death song: Metallica "Enter Sandman"
Walking down the lonely path, you realize that you are weak, oh so very weak.
Everything you think about, everything you care about is nothing but a dream.
You see the fog, oh the hazey grey fog and you wonder: What is this life for?
You fall down to the ground, lay in the dead position and look up to the sky.
You see the lifeless grey clouds floating by and you get a feeling of fright.
You stand up, turn around and see the answer to the meaningless life you live.
You move closer to the deserted street, all but that one moving object: The Truck.
You fight with your mind: do I stay or do I go? You see it moving faster and realize time is running out.
Closer, faster, closer, faster... it's time for the decision. End the life you never lived or keep the life and try again.
Three short seconds come and go, you're on your knees, in three, two, one... you see the truck hit you like you was really there.
You see the blood splatter and stain the dreary black [soulless] road and wonder, "how could this be?"
The truck passes through, the dead body still remains. You open your mouth to scream but the voice is restrained.
You walk up to the lifeless soul and realize what you saw, what you witnessed was just a dream, so you saw nothing at all.
You wake up and all you see is the grey fog. You notice your surroundings.
Your on your knees in the grass right next [to] the street. You realize what your dream conveyed.
Your life will be spared on the account of a second chance, unless you decide that you don't deserve [it].
You stand up and begin to walk. The object coming closer, faster, closer, faster.
Still walking, you see the truck fly by. You look around, you're still here.
You walked backwards to spare your life. A second chance you get. Did you learn your lesson?
No life is worth an early death. You do not choose your fate. Next time you play God, maybe you won't be so lucky.




The haircut! *coughtrimcough*

Posted by Jozie, 21 May 2016 · 386 views

So just got back from getting my hair cut and looking good for my interview! Please forgive the crazy eyebrows that need to be plucked and reshaped, I am aware that they are a hot mess! I have been letting them grow wild so I can reshape them/ they get thicker! The whole reason my hair went from long to short is because I was losing a lot of hair in clumps, and my eye brows/ lashes were falling out in areas. So, trying to get them back to normal!

 

Before:

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After:

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New House Update - More Pics!

Posted by Jozie, 20 May 2016 · 447 views

Gosh, I am so excited! Tomorrow we will be officially sleeping in the apartment! Sunday we will be totally moved in! I cannot wait! Last night was horrible with the roomies. We were sleeping and they came home at 3am in the morning, drunk as fuck! Super loud and obnoxious! But, they have three dogs and when the dogs hear their motorcycle coming up the drive way, they bark like crazy until they come in! Well, it took them 20 minutes to get in the f'ckin house! So rude! And they know we were sleeping! Ryan had to wake up 3 hours later for work! Poor guy! Anyways, then they came in super loud with friends and proceeded to watch tv super loud and laughing and drinking until 5am! Normally, we would say something, but we just kept thinking to ourselves, only one more night sleeping here!

 

Anyways, here are some pics I took today!

 

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There ya go! More to come as the house is filled. Still no furniture in the house yet! The bedroom will be tomorrow and the rest of the furniture will be on Sunday!




Let's talk about food baby!

Posted by Jozie, 19 May 2016 · 682 views
food

Ok, so I am a foodie! I love food! All kinds! But also very picky with my food. For instance: Shepard's pie, I love everything in it... but refuse to eat Shepard's pie... why? Because all the food is mixed together! Gross. I have to have all my food separated. When my boyfriends eats meat loaf and the sides are corn and potatoes, he mixes everything together! Gross! I eat everything one at a time. I usually start with the food I like least. I will eat the corn until it is gone (I love corn though, but in this example, I eat from favorite to most favorite). After the corn is finished, I eat the mashed potatoes. I can eat so much of them! Then I end with Meat Loaf because Ryan's momma makes the best meat loaf (except my momma, but she lives in Ohio and I in TN).

 

That being said, here's a fun foodie questionnaire.

 

1. How do you feel about golden oreos? What's the point, they aren't regular oreos! They are failures!
2. What is your favorite dessert topping? Whipped cream from a can!
3. What is your favorite flavor/brand of bubble gum? Spearmint or Grape Bubblicious
4. Favorite cheese? Gooey nachos cheese (like from gas stations)
5. Favorite Lunch Meat? Turkey and Pepperoni
6. Favorite ice cream flavor? Sweet Cream from Cold Stone
7. Best looking food? Mexican
8. Best food to put cheese on? Nachos
9. Best sexual food? Chocolate
10. Best tasting drink in the summer? Unsweet tea
11. Best tasting drink in winter? Hot chocolate - although I will drink it all year round!
12. Best food for a night out with friends? Mozzarella sticks
13. Best foods to eat with a roll? A roll? You mean bread? Butter!
14. Messiest food, in your opinion? Sloppy Joes! But so delicious and worth the mess!
15. Easist food to prepare? I prepare for pizza that get s delivered to me. That's pretty easy!
16. Cheapest food you ever ate? Ramen
17. Most expensive food you ever ate? J. Alexanders Rattlesnake Pasta, it's just as expensive to make at home too!
18. Stinkiest food you ever ate? Ummm, if it stinks, I won't eat it!
19. Favorite dipping sauce? You see, I don't do dipping except for chicken nuggets, in that case: BBQ sauce
20. Best pizza topping? Pepperoni and green pepper
21. Favorite potato chip flavor? Sun Chips Garden Salsa!
22. Most toxic substance you ever ate? Drank spoiled milk!
23. Most calories you ate in one meal? 2000 I am sure!
24. Favorite soda? A&W cream soda - but I no longer drink soda!
25. Favorite flavor of juice? Grape
26. Favorite Vegetable? Broccoli
27. Favorite fruit? Peaches
28. Worst canned food? Canned meat
29. Best side dish? Saffron rice
30. Worst fast food restuarant? Krystals
31. Best restaurant? Taco Bell
32. Best smelling food? Mexican
33. Favorite appetizer? Mozzarella sticks
34. Favorite cookie flavor? Thin Mint
35. Favorite cake flavor? Chocolate
36. Favorite pie flavor? Apple
37. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Rainbow hands down!
38. Ketchup or Mustard? Mustard!
39. Best food to have on a date? Ice cream!
40. Most share-able food? Popcorn








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