Living a Lie
I look in the mirror. And see my reflection
And all I want is to feel a connection.
To the outside world I may seem ok.
But if you really knew, I'm fading away.
The flame I had that once burned bright
Is barely more than a flicker of light.
Everything around me is dull and dreary,
As my soul grows lone and weary.
As I go on with this life.
All I will feel is turmoil and strife.
I cannot tell whether my smile is real,
So I look to my reflection to understand how I feel.
To you my eyes seem happy and bright,
But to read my mind would give you a fright.
Long gone are the days of true happiness and glee.
When my daughter passed on, so did a part of me.
No one even suspects; I put on a good show.
Everyone thinks I am strong, but that's only what I want them to know.
Every day I wake up is a true struggle.
I'd rather be somewhere else; let me walk through that tunnel.
They say that only the strong survive,
So I guess that's why I'm still alive.
But every day I put on a smile,
And wonder when I will walk my last mile.
Life is precious I know this is true.
And that is why I live like I do.
So just know every day is a lie.
Instead of smiling, I just want to cry.
I wish I could show my true emotion.
But that would cause you true commotion.
I'm empty inside, but only you see
The lies I live, and forever will be.
The heaviness I feel will burden thee.
Which is why I wish my soul was free.
Free from the hurt and all the pain,
And all the thoughts that put me in vain.
And now I'm pushed up against the wall,
Falling faster, please! Just let me fall!
Once I hit the bottom, then you will see!
Then, and only then, will my soul be free.
No more hurt, and no more pain.
Just the moment, I meet my daughter again.
Author: Jozie (Bobbie) Zbierajewski