Woah - it's getting DEEP in here!

So, I got the internship for Probation and Parole!!! I know, exciting isn't it! I start on June 6th! I can't wait. I am very nervous about it, because this is my first real big girl "job." It's make it or break it for me in this field. If I do well, they will want to hire me. This job is more than taking food orders, making food orders, or ringing people up for gas or items. I am dealing with real humans, real emotions, real situations that require me to do more than just smile and wish them a good day! I have to listen and know what to do to help people. I have to go above and beyond to help these people no matter what they did. I am the first line of rehabilitation once these people leave jail or prison! Everything is on my shoulders to make this world a better place. Ok, so maybe I am exaggerating a bit here. But come on, that's how I feel with this internship!

In 2.5 hours, I will be on the road with my man driving to Alabama to get his daughter! That is a whole 'nother stressful story that I may get into another time. So, all in all, we will be on the road for 6+ hours total picking her up and driving back to TN. My man will be driving and I know he isn't looking forward to it at all. He will have worked from 7-5 and then be on the road from 5-11 (but I am sure it will be later). The bright side, we will go to the Nashville Zoo, since Katie (his daughter) wants to go there. I love the Zoo. The Toledo Zoo will always be #1 in my heart, followed by the Birmingham zoo! That was pretty cool! I can't wait to go to the Nashville zoo for comparing purposes. I love seeing the animals. I love seeing the smile on Katie's face when she sees the animals and they interact with her! I can't wait until we can bring her to my home town for vacation and she can go to the Toledo Zoo! Oh, and then there's Cedar Point. I worked 6 summers at Cedar Point. That was the top most favorite places to work ever, and working there, meeting everyone I did, really helped make me the person I am today!

--------------------------------------------- Time to get deep ---------------------------- I warned ya --------------------------------------------------

Before Cedar Point, I was this super strict christian girl *puts finger down throat* who believed no sex before marriage, and gays shouldn't be married and their relationship isn't godly. I refused to listen to secular music if I could help it. I prayed all the time and read the bible daily. I went to church 4 days a week. Thanks to my dad kicking me out of the home in 2006 because he didn't believe me when I called him to say, "My car has a flat and I need you to come pick me up so I can make it to church tomorrow." If he hadn't kicked me out, I would not be where I am today and who I am today. I realized that if my father can't be there for me, how can god be there for me (who is a father figure).

Through that, I was homeless for 4 weeks. I lived in my car and cleaned up in Target (a store) across from where I worked. Then, my sister had room for me to move in with her, so I did. She saved me. But through that experience, and absolutely no fault of my sister's, I was raped and became pregnant. I was a virgin. I becme very sick, lost weight way too fast, and had to quit my job because I was unable to stand up for more than 5 minutes and everything made me vomit, like every smell! All I could eat were red dyed foods like red jello, red koolaid, red popsicles. That was my diet. No wonder I lost so much weight! I forced myself to eat corn flakes for a week, but they were so gross coming back up, I couldn't do it anymore.

That was all after the first summer I had worked at Cedar Point. I decided I wanted to work for Cedar Point again, but I was pregnant. I was also very sick and refused to go see the doctor. My sister forced me to go, which was for the best. There, we found out that my baby was attacking my body, which is why I was so sick! So, I had to make that tough decision, save the baby or save myself. I guess we know what I chose. Because I didn't have insurance, I would've had to pay out of pocket for all medical procedures done to me to save the baby and myself. Since I didn't have a tree that grew money in my back yard, and with advice from my sister and doctor, I had a medical abortion! My baby would be 10 years old today if it had lived. That is crazy!

Well, as you can see, I write whatever comes to mind. I never blog knowing exactly what I want to blog. I never know how long or short my blog will be. I just write what pops into my head because there's a reason I need to get it out of my head. I don't know these reasons, so I don't question it. I just write.

Thanks for reading, I know it was long. Have a great day/ weekend!