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I believe it was @Jess who mentioned a gluten-free diet relieving previously life-long symptoms which my girlfriend suffers from, which reminded me that my girlfriend and her mother (and various other blood relatives) have an allergy to wheat.
So I thought, what if they don't have a wheat allergy? WHAT IF IT WAS THE GLUTEN ALL ALONG?!?!
It's a lot cheaper to just not eat gluten than to go to a doctor and get tested, so I suggested to my girlfriend that we go gluten free for a couple weeks to test my theory. She fell for my evil plan, and agreed to go gluten free, so long as I was the cook (I'm the cook anyway).
So I made soups and stir fry and cooked fish and chicken. I gave her whatever she wanted, so long as it was gluten-free. After all, we wanted to test for gluten, not the other potentially harmful elements of her diet.
...the thing is, I was only taking gluten out.
I forgot to replace the bread and crackers with rice and corn alternatives.
It wasn't until almost a week in that she was nearly crying while explaining how hungry she was. I had accidentally put her on the Atkin's Diet...which is to say, first-world starvation.
There was much remorse, and also potatoes. And also rice. And also corn.
Yesterday was the 14th day of our field study, and it turns out that just cutting gluten out fixed all of her digestive problems (except permanent physical damage already done).
TL;DR Don't starve your girlfriend while trying to do experiments on her.
So I thought, what if they don't have a wheat allergy? WHAT IF IT WAS THE GLUTEN ALL ALONG?!?!
It's a lot cheaper to just not eat gluten than to go to a doctor and get tested, so I suggested to my girlfriend that we go gluten free for a couple weeks to test my theory. She fell for my evil plan, and agreed to go gluten free, so long as I was the cook (I'm the cook anyway).
So I made soups and stir fry and cooked fish and chicken. I gave her whatever she wanted, so long as it was gluten-free. After all, we wanted to test for gluten, not the other potentially harmful elements of her diet.
...the thing is, I was only taking gluten out.
I forgot to replace the bread and crackers with rice and corn alternatives.
It wasn't until almost a week in that she was nearly crying while explaining how hungry she was. I had accidentally put her on the Atkin's Diet...which is to say, first-world starvation.
There was much remorse, and also potatoes. And also rice. And also corn.
Yesterday was the 14th day of our field study, and it turns out that just cutting gluten out fixed all of her digestive problems (except permanent physical damage already done).
TL;DR Don't starve your girlfriend while trying to do experiments on her.
Loved the way you wrote this...thanks for sharing!