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Backhanded Compliments

Posted by Boggart, 31 May 2014 · 672 views

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You know what compliment I get a lot?

"You're tall for an Asian"

I'm 5'8, which isn't really tall by anyone's standards, but apparently I'm "tall for an Asian". Fantastic.That doesn't really offend me; my city has a very high percentage of Filipinos and many males are ~5'2 - 5'5 so in comparison, I appear taller.

But I can never really get over the "compliment":

"You're hot for an Asian."

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For those of you who don't understand why this is offensive, the subtext is "You are attractive despite the fact that you are handicapped for being Asian."

Now, I'm not going to start into a campaign about "Asians are attractive that is offensive" bla bla bla because we're not on Tumblr where everything is offensive and everyone is a shitlord. I just don't see the necessity of pointing out race on something that is so extremely subjective (whether someone is attractive or not).

The thing is, 100% of the people who have told me the above compliment, have been White females. And they genuinely think that what they're saying is nice. As if I"m supposed to be flattered

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As a sarcastic little asshole myself, I don't really mind saying something mildly offensive to me because I can usually go with the flow and retaliate with something equally backhanded. But in this instance I can't! When it comes to White people, I don't think there is a general physical defect. Sure, the stereotype is that White people are stupid, but all of my friends are White and rather intelligent. So that insult doesn't work. People think of White people being overweight but as we know with 1/3 of the total population of the Earth being overweight, that doesn't really apply to just White people anymore. They're not even susceptible to lactose intolerance or alcohol.

The only thing about White people is that they age at the same rate of a post-halloween pumpkin.

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kill me

And if I say "Wow, you age very well for a White person" then that's just a straight up compliment or non-sequitur since people who say this to me are in their early 20's. Without something with which to retaliate, I have no power in the situation and just go "uh, thanks?"

The only thing I can think of that is semi-related would be "oh, thanks. You're pretty well mannered for a White person."

And that's pretty weak sauce.

the struggle

I get the "You're really pretty for being an Indian"


AHEM EXCUSE ME?! I've learned to say thanks and shoot daggers with my mind but its so offensive. 

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Oh my god! How rude! I mean someone thinking they're genuinely saying something nice while totally insulting a whole group of people? People are very ignorant. It's like let's learn to stop... and THINK before we speak, shall we? Lol I would just straight up insult them back without trying to be subtle about it.

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"You're pretty well spoken for a Mexican kid."


1) I'm not Mexican.

2) Fuck you.

3) Fuck you.

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I get that a lot too Ivysaur. Obviously Mexican is Chinese in my world.

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It's a tough world when I'm mistaken as both Chinese and Mexican. =_____=

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So people call you well-spoken AND attractive?

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Yeah =/ It's so hard being praised all the time for characteristics that are overstereotyped as part of a certain human demographic. Life is unfair.

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People are so ignorant. But as a "white people", I apologize on behalf of all those idiots who don't realize how narrow minded and stupid they sound. I think the most shocking to me is when someone asks an Asian person "what they are" and they list off like twenty different countries the person could be from.. Stop.. just stop, you're embarrassing yourself. 

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My best is "you seem pretty normal for a gay". Lol wut.

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Wow @CountFurFur I forgot that. My friend's ex said that I was "really cool for a gay guy" and "was confused why [I] didn't him on [him] at all!"

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I totally hear you on this post, @Boggart, though ironically I was on the end hearing "You're not too dumb for a White girl" from Asians and Africans during my postdoc. *facepalm* Sad but true, no one is immune from backhanded compliments.

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