Rocket's Blog

Why am I so scared to start dating?

 

More so, why does it have to be so hard to go out and meet people? I'm an introvert, being in large groups or big social situations is not me. I don't like going to bars or clubs or whatever it is you cool kids do these days.

 

Why am I so scared of joining a dating site? Like a legit dating site? I was on fucking tinder for months, I met a guy, we dated for a month or two, it wasn't a big deal. But why am I so scared to join eharmony, match, or one of those other dating places? How do you meet people to date?? I feel so lost in this aspect of life.

 

I have no problem meeting guys online, meeting them in person, falling in love with them. None have been through dating sites, just random online forums where friends become more.

 

I'm almost 30 fucking years old, I'm not getting any younger. I'm lonely, I need a partner, I want a partner. I'm tired of putting effort into people who put zero effort into me. I want to be swept off my feet, I want someone to make a grand gesture for me.

 

I gave up my life once, I moved to another country, I am always the one giving things up and working way harder than the other person.

 

I'm tired. I'm hormonal. I'm lonely. I just don't want to be alone anymore.

 

Being an insecure adult sucks.

So over the weekend I adopted a new kitten. Frodo needed a new friend since Sam disappeared so I went out looking Friday after work.
I go to a local shelter which is overflowing with kittens atm, I walk in and see this sweet little baby laying there. I start petting him and he purrs instantly. I pick him up and HE ONLY HAS 3 LEGS! I don't care, he's cute and cuddly. So I go out to get his story.
His name is Nemo, he's 4 months old, and he was brought in the beginning of June as a stray who was hit by a car. Both his back legs were broken and one was beyond repair so they had to amputate it.
I couldn't take him home Friday because I had too many things to do and didn't want to leave him in my hot car while I ran errands. So I came back Saturday and picked him up.

He and Frodo were skeptical at first but this morning at 5am I was woken up by them playing and chasing each other. I'm very impressed with how well he gets around considering he lost his leg a month ago. He can run, walk, jump up/down from the bed, really not limited at all.

Here are his pictures!

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?
no
2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?
3.5 - I'm not afraid to admit that I like a little light, so much so I'm glad there is a streetlight right outside my room.
3. The person you would never want to meet?
No one in particular - I'd meet almost anyone if I wasn't a hermit.
4. What is your favorite word?
Fuck.
5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?
One of those giant trees in the redwood forrest that live forever.
6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?
YOLO
7. What shirt are you wearing?
I'm wearing a long sleeve grey sweater because it's cold and rainy
8. What do you label yourself as?
a dork
9. Bright room or dark room?
dark - i hate bright and sunny
10. What were you doing at midnight last night?
sleeping, or being woke up from thunder
11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?
16< because I didn't have to do anything for myself.
12. Who told you they loved you last?
My dad I think?
13. Your worst enemy?
Myself
14. What is your current desktop picture?
A picture of a log with moss and mushrooms that I took
15. Do you like someone?
Absolutely
16. The last song you listened to?
Can't recall
17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
My Ex-husband muahahahaha
18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
there is a list
19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?
@Jess and I would make her cook for me
20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)
My eyes or my boobs.
21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?
I'd be a fugly Ginger dude.. and I'd probably play with myself, because why not.
22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?
secrets
23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?
nothing really unique, just the general spiders, heights, love, etc...
24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.
BLT with avocado and onions.
25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?
lol bills #adultlife
26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?
East Coast USA - exact location secret
27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?
Angels are not real, so I must be really drunk. Patron Silver
28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
I fucking hate islands. First Rule - no islands
29. What is your favorite expletive?
Fuck
30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?
my cell phone
31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
my marriage
32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!
Scotland becuase why the fuck not - it's beautiful
33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Yo this shit is straight outta Harry Potter. I'm not bringing anyone back - that's selfish <-same
34. What was your last dream about?
I can't remember
35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?
nope, nope nope.
36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?
yes.
37. Have you ever built a snowman?
a few
38. What is the color of your socks?
I'm not wearing socks today - toms and socks = no bueno
39. What type of music do you like?
I'll listen to just about anything depending on my mood. But mostly it's rock/alternative
40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?
both are nice
41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?
peanut butter
42. What football team do you support?
Patriots only because my best friends would disown me if I said otherwise. I don't really watch much.
43. Do you have any scars?
More than I care to admit.
44. What do you want to be when you graduate?
I'm not in school.
45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My weight - let's lost 60lbs
46. Are you reliable?
the most
47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?
Will I be happy?
48. Do you hold grudges?
Yes
49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?
Oh god, I have no idea. Something cute and fluffy for sure
50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?
all of my conversations are unusual
51. Are you a good liar?
yes
52. How long could you go without talking?
days
53. What has been you worst haircut/style?
my mom gave me a mullet when I was like 6
54. Have you ever baked your own cake?
many many cakes
55. Can you do any accents other than your own?
Yes but I'm sure they sound offensive and horrible
56. What do you like on your toast?
butter and strawberry jam
57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?
I don't draw pictures
58. What would be you dream car?
idk
59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.
Don't really have time, I'm in and out pretty quickly these days.
60. Do you believe in aliens?
Yes.
61. Do you often read your horoscope?
Like once a month if I'm bored?
62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?
Q
63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?
dragons
64. What do you think about babies?
They are cool
65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.
no

So most of you may know I went on a roadtrip in August, and being the procrastinator I am, I haven't uploaded any pics yet. So here it goes:

Our route was:
Oregon > Idaho > Montana > Wyoming > South Dakota > Wyoming > Montana > Idaho > Washington > Oregon (3000 miles and 10 days)

Our final destination was South Dakota to visit family there, we had planned this trip for a few months, and about a month before we were due to arrive we found out that my Grandfather was diagnosed with a very aggressive form of Prostate Cancer and the outlook wasn't good. He's not in good health to begin with, he's had many heart attacks and open heart surgery 3 times already. Surgery hasn't been an option since the diagnoses. The day before we arrive he went in for scans to see if the cancer had spread. He got the results while we were about 3 hours away. Miraculously the cancer HAD NOT spread, and being the aggressive type it is, that's great news! He's doing radiation for treatment to try and do whatever radiation does (I'm not a doctor). This is the best possible news we could have hoped for So far it's going so good so we had an exciting trip knowing that he's gonna be around for while longer now.

I got to hang out with my cousins who I haven't seen in 3 years. They are twin 10 year olds and a 5 year old, all boys. They are pretty cool. We hung out and played games and they just think I'm the coolest cousin ever I miss them already XD I mean I have lots of cousins, but these ones are so much younger I've watched them grow up.

We did a lot of site-seeing on the drive over and while we were there, gambled a bit, met up with more family who was in town. All in all it was a great trip

So now here are some pictures I'll try and keep them in chronological order

Day/Night 1 Oregon: We started at 8pm because my Mom and a friend flew in from Hawaii and didn't land until 7:30 and I had to work, so it was just driving and got dark pretty fast.


Night 1 Idaho: Drove straight through the state... it was dark and 80% of the time there was a lightning show to keep me alert (no pictures). The speed limit in Idaho is 80mph... that's really fast for me and I felt weird driving that fast because the max speed in Oregon is 65mph.

Night 1/Day 2 Montana: So funny story (as anyone on snapchat or facebook has already heard) I am bad at geography... We were headed for Yellowstone National Park which I thought was only in Wyoming.. well apparently there's a corner of it in Montana. The closest entrance on the GPS took s to the Montana entrance, but I didn't know that. So when we were getting ready to change states and I saw the sign for Montana I was really really confused xD but we were really only in Montana for about an hour or so.


Day 2 Wyoming/Yellowstone National Park: I haven't slept yet, I've been driving for a very long time and I'm exhausted and I dont know who's stupid idea it was to not stop for the night (I think me) but we decided to spend all day playing tourist in Yellowstone (only getting lost a few times) and then we stopped for the night in some small ass town. I was awake for 37 hours at that point so the second my head hit the pillow, I passed out.
Yellowstone Pics (I've resized these because well 10mp is huge) We couldn't have asked for a better day, it was pretty much clear skies all day and mid 70's temperature wise. It was beautiful! I hadn't been there since I was a kid, so it was like it was new to me. PS - don't ask for specific locations inside the park because I can't remember xD


Day 3 Wyoming/South Dakota: It really felt like day 2 since the first 2 days there was no sleep, not much to show picture wise, it was mostly driving.

Days 4-8 South Dakota: These are various pics from site-seeing. Mount Rushmore, Crazy Horse, Bear Country, etc..


Day 9 - Wyoming/Devil's Tower
I went here as a kid and apparently all the memories I have are pretty wrong, I thought it was on a flat plain and you could walk around it.. it's fucking huge! And it's in the mountains.


And yea the last two days were just mindlessly driving home. It was long and I was fed up with being with my mother for 24/7 so I was cranky I had a great trip though, although next time if I ever do a roadtrip I need someone who can split the driving (my mom can't see well at night and neither can the friend), and we need to plan more stops because driving for so long is no fun and hard on the body.

So there really isn't any other way to say this... I'm overweight and have pretty much struggled my entire life with it. I go up and down and up and down, and it's not healthy. I started The Biggest Loser Competition in hopes of having other people trying to lose weight, to help motivate myself. I did ok, but I didn't do as good as I could have and I didn't really start trying hard to lose weight until the last 2 weeks. I think I ended the competition down 6-8lbs, I can't remember and I'm too lazy to go back and look at the charts.

Anyways..

I've tried all those fad diets, tried all those supplements and pills and eating less and doing this and that and nothing has really worked for me.. Well it has and it hasn't, I give up easily because I'm lazy as fuck I should also mention that I was on a certain anti-depressant that made it almost impossible for me to lose weight, but my doctor at the time didn't want to change them for whatever reason. After discussing with my new doctor (I've moved states in the past year) my issues and being thoroughly frustrated she decided to change my meds. I've been on them for a month and I can already tell that it's making a huge difference, not only in my mood but my ability to lose weight as well.

Insert the Keto Diet: I've been hearing Napiform talk about it for months now, but I really didn't know a whole lot about it. My doctor said (and I agree) that carbs are my worst enemy, my body just stores them. I'm addicted, it's my comfort food, and I always fall back on them and overeat them. So while I was looking for a new diet, I was asking people for advice and help and thoughts on what I should do. That's where I asked Napi about Keto, I've seen her results and I was really impressed. I was like "what the heck, what's the worse that can happen? I'll fail again?" but boy was I wrong. The Keto diet implements a low carb/high fat/mid protein diet, I should add that I was really skeptical at first, I mean FAT? Who wants to eat FAT?? I've been avoiding FAT in almost all my diets because well it's FAT! But after doing plenty of research and with the help of Napi's vast knowledge I realized that your body NEEDS fat to burn fat, it's science people, I promise I'm not making this up.

So this past month, with the help of new meds that wont hinder my trying to lose weight, and with this new diet, I've lost 11 lbs. I haven't been very strict and I've gone on and off a few times because CARBS (nomnomnom). I'm actually down 22lbs since I really started to lose weight. I'm aiming for 30 lbs by January (or 40lbs total). And at this point it's not out of my reach anymore. I haven't even begun to do anything extra. I have only changed my eating habits. I need to start exercising, tone some areas of my body, but I need to be able to at least walk without getting out of breath heh. Now that the weather has calmed down and it's getting cooler outside, I plan on doing 2-3 mile walks most evenings now. It's a start and it gets me off my ass Plus FALL IS BEAUTIFUL here <3

The HARDEST part of all this has been keeping track of what I eat and trying to get enough fat in my day and not too much protein. I'm eating around 1500-1600 calories a day and under 20g of carbs. But it's not really as hard as I thought it would be, FAT is everywhere, AND IT'S DELICIOUS! I thought cutting carbs would be hard, but honestly, fat fills you up, I'm not hungry. I've always done low calorie diets in the past and I've been starving all the time, but with the amount of fat and protein I'm eating, I'm rarely hungry. In fact I have to force myself to eat so I reach my goals each day.

The BEST part of this is: FOOD, you don't have to eat like a rabbit. I eat beef and chicken and pork and all that good stuff and even better, BUTTER! Butter has ZERO carbs WOW, I also utilize a lot of coconut oil, it's high fat and ZERO carbs and it add flavors. Most days I stay well under my 20g of carbs and they come from mostly vegetables. I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything, I don't even really crave carbs anymore, I mean if I want them, it's out of habit more than anything now. Another PLUS is that while I see the scale going down, my clothes are getting looser as well, I've lost a few inches and gone down a pants size (YAY!).

I know this diet isn't for everyone and that every person is different, but if you are struggling, I think this is definitely something to look into (individual results may vary). I just wanted to share my adventures in Ketosis, it's been fun and I've been trying a lot of new recipes. I'm really excited to see where this takes me and for once I'm really planning on sticking to this long term. Stay tuned, I'll continue to update my progress as it happens.

I also want to send HUGE THANK YOU's to Napiform, you've been a saint through this, with answering all my questions and concerns, I really do appreciate it!

So it's midnight and I'm usually long asleep by now, butI'm slightly entranced by this thunder and lightning storm happening. It's eerily calming, when normally I'm terrified. There's no wind, no rain, just the flashes breaking through my blinds, then the dull roar of thunder off in the distance.

My mind is wandering a lot tonight: death, love, the future.

There's this one quote from a movie that's playing in my head over and over, I'll slightly alter it to fit better with my scenario:

"What if you meet the love of your life, and you are already in a relationship, or vise versa, are you supposed to let them pass you by?"

I'm one of those crazy people that believes that there IS one person out there somewhere who we are destined to be with, your soul mate. Have I found him or her yet? WillI know it? What if I'm in a relationship, can I pass that up? I would think that I would know instantly, but I am a little slow on picking things up sometimes. I feel like this person will have to come by a few times to get my attention. I'm always wrapped up in my own little world where I am safe and comfortable.

Is it possible that this person has already come in and out of my life? Did I miss them completely? Am I doomed for a life of solitude with 12 cats?

Or just or what if you have met them but it's just the wrong time? Right love at the wrong time? There's a song about this, now it's playing in my head, she was/is a local artist from when I lived in Hawaii.

I'm ready to be whisked off my feet, where ever you may be, and who ever you might be.


And since I'm writing this on my phone it took entirely too long to post. Don't mind me and my crazy ramblings, this is a blog afterall. Alll this thinking is hurting my brain, I'm hoping the thunder can lull me to sleep now.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
First name after my moms best friend, middle name after my mom.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
Last week when rewatching The Walking Dead - Lori's death

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It varies in my mood, so it depends if it's legible or not.


4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Ham

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
A furry child.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Probably.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
It's my first language.

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
Yes

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Hell no I'm scared of heights

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Raisen Bran

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
No, but I untie them to put them on

12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
Mint choc chip or Tillamook Choc Peanut butter.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Face: eyes, mouth.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red

16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
My body

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
No one really.

18. ARE YOU A MORNING PERSON?
No

19. WHAT COLOR SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
barefoot

20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
Fruit pizza

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Nothing

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple

23. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Sweetpea

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Sister

25. MOUNTAIN HIDEAWAY OR BEACH HOUSE?
Mountain

26. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Football (American)

27. HAIR COLOR?
Red and purple

28. EYE COLOR?
Blue

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes

30. FAVORITE FOOD?
Food.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Happy endings.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Blended

33. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
White

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Winter

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Hugs

36. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Cheesecake

37. STRENGTH TRAINING OR CARDIO?
Strength training

38. COMPUTER OR TELEVISION?
Computer

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
None

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
I don't have a mousepad.

42. FAVORITE SOUND?
Rain

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Hawaii

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
no

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
Oregon

47. WHERE ARE YOU LIVING NOW?
Oregon

48. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR HOUSE?
Grey outside, white inside

49. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR CAR?
Black

50. DO YOU LIKE ANSWERING 50 QUESTIONS?
No.

Some back story:

When I was younger I was a part of a forum and made a lot of friends(some of them I'm really great friends with to this day and sadly this site doesn't exist anymore). Me and a guy became really close (we lived in different countries, me in the US and him in Canada). We actually weren't that far apart, just about a 3 hour plane ride.

After about a year of getting to know each other, we decided to meet, we would fly back and forth almost every weekend, back when plane tickets weren't crazy expensive. One day we decided to get married while I was visiting him, we eloped. Surprised everyone (families weren't too happy, but in the end they supported us). I was 19, this is was 2006.

After much debate on what we should do about our spontaneous decision, I moved to Canada to be with him. I didn't work, I was a stay at home wife, I cooked, I cleaned, I was alone.

Our marriage started off great, but things changed quickly, he became abusive mentally and emotionally towards me, he got physical a few times but I fought back. He was also cheating on me. I left him in 2008 and moved to live with my parents in Hawaii. I was there for about 5 months before he sweet-talked me into coming back saying that he was a changed man.

Flash forward 9 months and into 2009, my family was having a little reunion and wanted me to fly out, so I brought his sister with me as she always wanted to go to Hawaii. It was going great and we had a fabulous vacation. The day before we were supposed to fly back, he emailed me and told me that he didn't want me to come home, and that he was having second thoughts and needed time.

I lost it, as well as about 3 months of my life where I was in a drunken stupor and very suicidal.

After about two-years I decided it was time to file for divorce, I don't know why I waited so long, it just skipped my mind and I hadn't had any contact with him in that time. I did it all on my own, filed, and paid and all he had to do was sign and it was done. So as of 2011 I was legally divorced after 2 years of separation and no contact.

I've been extremely happy and can now joke about that period of my life (but because of the mental and emotional abuse I suffered in the relationship, I still have issues with trust and other men). I have not been in any relationships since then. I've had "friends-with-benefits" types of relationships but I don't let my guard down.

Ok fast-forward to present. For the past year or so I've been having dreams/nightmares about my ex where we are either together and things are happy or where I'm being hurt by him. My sub-conscious wont leave it alone and I don't know why. The sight/thought of this guy repulses me.

Now today I just found out that he's engaged. I'm still really close with his sister, but none of the rest of his family, and I haven't spoken to him (except like twice via email when I was doing the divorce papers). She (sister) is friends with my family on facebook/instagram as she's been out to visit me a few times since all the craziness and we still get on as sisters. Everyone keeps asking me how I'm doing hearing this news? I don't know? I don't care. I feel bad for the girl I guess (she's the one that he left me for and was seeing while we were still together) she to this day, still doesn't know that he was married previously (and married while they were dating), and he apparently forbade his family from bringing it up to her. I know for a fact that he cheated on her several times as we still have mutual friends in common.

This is more of a rant for me to get this off my chest since I can't post it anywhere else without having people bombard me about my feelings about this. I just want him out of my dreams/nightmares. It's not like I even have to see anything related to him on facebook as we have mutually blocked each other so even if he's tagged or commented on something I don't see it and vise versa.

Annnnd that's the story of how Rocket was married and divorced by 23. Yay.

Ok so Rocket is the oldest of 3 siblings. She has a younger sister who is just under 2 years younger than her. (ok enough third person)

So me and my sister have been really close, well not always but that's a story for a different day. We lived together for the past 6 years and she is my best friend. In October of 2013 I moved out of state (back to where I grew up) which is 2500 miles and an ocean away. While we were living together neither of us dated much, saw some people but never got serious. We were both pretty much single old ladies with our dog together.

I found out mid-January that she was engaged. I didn't even know she was seeing someone, let alone serious enough to get engaged. He was 12 years older than her (I have no problem with age, but knowing my sister and her type that was weird). I was mad that I didn't find out from her, my supposed best friend who I talk to everyday. Well a week later I find out that she called off the engagement and broke things off with the guy completely, but kept the ring (which was sparkly and expensive). She then spur of the moment decided to fly out here for a week and hang out (all while demanding my frequent flyer miles to help lessen her ticket).

So she arrives and it's good and she tells me all about her "ex" and that he had his own business, had lots of money, and bought her nice things. I asked her what she was going to do with the ring and she said she was going to keep it, that the guy told her she could keep it. I told her, this wasn't right, keeping something off a promise you didn't intend to keep? Well weeks later he started getting angry and demanding everything back, and she said she wasn't going to give the ring back. I called her an idiot and she got mad at me and we didn't speak for a few days. So it ends up the guy took her to court to get the ring back, they signed papers to drop the case and she gave it back but "was sad because it was such a nice ring and she always wanted one like that." All the while I'm thinking "GOLD DIGGER!" and just annoyed as fuck at her attitude lately.

NEXT!
Ok my sister isn't a big person, she's about 5'6" and fairly petite, however I'd say she has a nice "c-cup" sized chest, which looks really good on her and proportionate (whereas I got blessed/cursed with gigantic bazoombas and hate it). She always hated her boobs and joked about getting bigger ones which I protested and told her she was beautiful and told her all about the pains of having a larger chest and whatnot, but she didn't care.

WELL TODAY I FOUND OUT SHE GOT A BOOB JOB AND IT'S ALREADY HEALED.

I'm just like "lol ok enjoy your new boobs."

I'm just irritated with how she's behaving (she's in her mid-twenties). She's single, she lives alone with our dog, and makes great money. I'm just disappointed with how she's choosing to spend it. But I'm not her Mom and I can't tell her what to do. I mean the boobs aren't too big and they look natural, it's just -le sigh- me being an older semi-conservative with my money, big sister.

Ok that's the end of my rant, I just had to get it off my chest in a place where she wouldn't see it