Screw the money, I have rules

Cadavers
Today, the Honors Anatomy students and AP Bio students went to a cadaver lab hosted at CALU. There was also a little bit on athletic training. They have new techniques that instead of just telling someone "go home and stretch" to touch your toes, instead they had us try and touch our toes, and then hold a squat and then try and touch our toes again. I can touch my tomes for the first time in years! (I'm not fat, I just wasn't that flexible).
Plus, I didn't have, "normal" rotation of my body, so they had me in a crawling position, with one arm in the middle, and they would lift the arm that wasn't on the table in a turning motion. (Like turning side to side). I can turn so much better now,which is really great because I enjoy playing tennis.

Now, onto the cadavers! There we three of them, two male on female. The grad students pointed to different muscles and just asked us what they were. I knew some, but one of the girls on the tip knew every single one of them. We got to see everything in the digestive system, small intestine, large intestine. Plus, we got to see the spleens, livers and heart. I actually got to hold a human heart in my hands, twice. (we rotated between the 3 cadavers).

Tendons (it was either a tendon or something else that's stringy) feel like al dente spaghetti.

One of the cadavers, the female, had a heart which had its front completely covered in fat. I want to guess that person died of a heart attack. One of the males had open heart surgery so we got to see the stables in the chest, since they need to rip open the chest to get to the heart, and the suture marks on the heart. That cadaver also had this huge mass in their abdomen, which I'm going to say is cancer. There were black spots in the lungs, which would indicate that person was a smoker, and smoking causes cancer. It took up about a whole 3-4 inches on the side of the abdominal cavity (horizontally). I don't know how a doctor can miss a huge tumor like that, especially during a surgery.

It didn't smell too bad, it just smelled like my anatomy teachers room, just a bit worse.
(I don't have pictures because they wouldn't let us take pictures of the cadavers)
Yay! Cadavers!

Let's Be Done with it Already
No, this is not a post about Frozen. Instead my dang ex, decided that he wants to talk everything out and I really don't want too. It's over and done, deal with it and move on. Stop trying to figure out the past, let it go. He wants honestly, well like I was before I'm lying through my teeth. He's dragging the whole damn thing out, and it's really annoying. Let it go already! I know I sit next to you in two classes, but really, let it go. You're just making it worse for me by dragging everything out, (with the repetitive texting and clinginess that seeps into the texts).

Here's what I've been sent today, and he's sent things like this before:
Hope that's readable, it was a long text so I had to separate it into 3 parts. Honestly, I'm on the verge of blocking him from iMessage again.
*sigh* I feel like he's going to try and drag this whole thing out until summer break.

This is Why You Shouldn't Procrastinate
At my school if you take AP US History (or APUSH), you're required to do a project at the end of the year. We call that project the Culminating Project. I've decided on a research paper about US policy involving Vietnam. Honestly, I wish I hadn't chosen to do a paper because I absolutely hate it. It's worth the most points though, 775, so I can miss more and still get a good grade. However, I've already lost a ton of points because I forgot to do any research for 3 months, did it all the weekend after the research was due, then forgot the ideas sheet and note cards, and page numbers on my bibliography. Then I did the outline, and did it in the completely wrong format, so I lost more points there. Now I have a rough draft, due tomorrow at 7:30, and I'm not sure of the formatting for it. I don't know if the sections on the outline are supposed to be there or not. (ex: Section 1: The US ignores everything. Subsection 1a: The French and Ho Chi Minh). I'm not sure where the word count is supposed to go either, or if there's supposed to be a cover page on it.This alone is worth 50 points, and then the peer review is worth 30, so it's a total of 80 points. I'm really hoping I do this correctly, and don't lose more points, but I'm worried. Plus, I absolutely hate this topic.

At least my teacher only requires me to go to 3 student presentations (research paper, synthesised book review, documentary, or team teaching, which is people standing there for 60 minutes teaching about their topic). Anything after those 3 is bonus, and the book review that's required every semester has a film with it, so if I watch it that's bonus.
I need all the bonus points I can get. Imagine me writing the final copy May 21st, the night before it's due, like I'm doing right now with the rough draft.

That's what I did with my english author research paper, and forgot to check it so there's spelling errors, and I forgot to cite my books, so I had to write in the citations. Oh well, I've only gotten one B on a paper, and that's because I didn't have to analyze anything. I'll take anything above a D really.

I keep telling myself to stop procrastinating, but I can't seem to do it. I always think "I'll do it in a hour" then "Oh, there's still time left, I'll do it the next hour", and pretty soon it's the end of the day and I haven't done a dang thing.

I use Invisalign instead of braces, and the retainers are clear, which makes them really hard to find.
Retainers Have Legs
The retainer has to be taken out when I eat, so I took it out for breakfast this morning in my room. I know it never left my room but I can't seem to find it anywhere. This is why you don't make things clear, they become impossible to find. I could clean my whole room and still not be able to find it. *sigh*

First, I'd like to thank all of you guys. You helped me out quite a bit with this. I love each and every one of you.
​The Final Conclusion
Now on to the main event, I talked to my mom after my last post and she helped me figure things out.

It's done, absolutely done. I feel just so relieved that I won't be in that clingy relationship anymore. I still want to be friends, and I did mention that, but as is well known that sometimes doesn't really work. He was upset of course, but he'll get over it. I feel a bit bad about that, but it feels like a weight has been lifted!

Whew!

Well, here's my first post. Thought I might as well make a blog because they seem interesting and you're all pretty nice people, so I don't need to worry about people posting things in the comments. I'll just ramble on about random things, like an old man, or Coltrom might.
Ramblings on Love
So, I got a new boyfriend. I'm just having a ton of problems with him. I'm sort of a guarded person with my feelings, but honestly, he's too open. Every single little thing, he just has to tell me he's depressed all the time and shaking because of whatever, be it something I did or something else.And how there isn't anything good in his life. You know the show on GSN, called Baggage? (if you don't, it's a dating game. People have these suitcases with secrets, and they get bigger as the game goes on, and then the person who's trying to get a date will send one person away each round with the words "I'm sorry you have too much baggage"). That's how I feel.

Then he's started going through my posts here as a guest, and getting all annoyed/mad/ when he finds something I didn't tell him about. I don't have to tell him about everything, damm it! It's just creepy that he went through all my posts. Why would you even do that? I have a right to privacy. (Well, this is the internet, so that's a kind of a no on privacy, but still I digress).
That brings me to my next point, clingy. He made a Tumblr just to follow me. I just ignored him. You don't create something just so you can follow one person. I use Twitter, as people my age do, and he got annoyed multiple times that I wasn't following him on Twitter. What he tweets about is of no interest to me really, and I don't see a reason to follow someone who posts things I have zero interest in. I finally blocked him and set my tweets to private. Twitter won't tell someone you blocked them, but if you try and go and follow them it won't let you. So he tried that, and realised I blocked him because he went through his damm followers list and noticed I wasn't on it. This same thing happened with Instagram, and the same result.

He comes to Choir with me, because he has study hall, but I want my alone time. He doesn't have to be there 24/7 with me!
I'm lying through my teeth about when I'm busy and if I make plans, I lie saying something came up just to get away. I'm pretty much lying about everything I say.
Honestly, there's too much baggage for me to handle, and I'm worried if I break up with him (with all his "I"m so depressed" message daily) he's going to get more depressed and could possibly attempt suicide. (there's no complete indicator, but getting depression messages multiple times every day is a bit worrying).If I have to continue this through my senior year, I'm breaking it off in college. I don't want to be tied down during college, I want to be free.
I miss my old boyfriend
.
I was thinking about making a blog because I saw all of yours and really liked them, but I wasn't sure. This has spurred my blog. I wanted somewhere I could ramble and make it so he couldn't read it. Plus, I like you guys,so I'd thought I would make a blog here.

Thank you for listening/reading my ramble if you got this far!