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My Very Bad Kinda V-Day Poems

Posted by KyloRen, 14 February 2017 · 353 views

valentines day v-day bad poetry fangirling star wars

So I got bored in class and decided to write a whole bunch of Star Wars themed really bad V-day poems. They're in the theme and poetic style of the classic "roses are red" poems but I wouldn't directly call them love poems. I'd give the names of who the poem is for, but I think it's pretty obvious.


My suit is Black
I'm on the attack
My Kids tried to kill me
At least my grandson is with me


Lightsabers are Red
Grandpa is dead
I talk to his helmet
While crying in bed

My hair is Red
Ren's a whiny bitch
I love my cat Millicent
So I bought her catnip.

My lightsaber is Red
A jedi's is blue
I hate everything
Especially Luke

My armor is Chrome
Starkiller Base is my home
FN-2187 Deserted
So I need to hurt 'em.

My name is Matt
Kylo Ren has an 8 pack
He's totally shredded
So I molded myself after that
Hi I'm Matt
Kylo Ren has an 8 pack
I saw him in the shower
He's got some great power


Lightsabers are red

Some are blue

I've got a scarred head

I'm a creep too


I like little boys

I take them for the Order

One is a knight

The others are fodder


My lasers are showcased

As I hurtle through space

I'm the Death Star recreation

Kylo's Starkiller Base


The fangirls love me

My hair is fluffy

I'm incredibly sexy

So they all want to fuck me

*coffee house snaps*

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the second and last one lol

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