Ramblings on Love
So, I got a new boyfriend. I'm just having a ton of problems with him. I'm sort of a guarded person with my feelings, but honestly, he's too open. Every single little thing, he just has to tell me he's depressed all the time and shaking because of whatever, be it something I did or something else.And how there isn't anything good in his life. You know the show on GSN, called Baggage? (if you don't, it's a dating game. People have these suitcases with secrets, and they get bigger as the game goes on, and then the person who's trying to get a date will send one person away each round with the words "I'm sorry you have too much baggage"). That's how I feel.
Then he's started going through my posts here as a guest, and getting all annoyed/mad/ when he finds something I didn't tell him about. I don't have to tell him about everything, damm it! It's just creepy that he went through all my posts. Why would you even do that? I have a right to privacy. (Well, this is the internet, so that's a kind of a no on privacy, but still I digress).
That brings me to my next point, clingy. He made a Tumblr just to follow me. I just ignored him. You don't create something just so you can follow one person. I use Twitter, as people my age do, and he got annoyed multiple times that I wasn't following him on Twitter. What he tweets about is of no interest to me really, and I don't see a reason to follow someone who posts things I have zero interest in. I finally blocked him and set my tweets to private. Twitter won't tell someone you blocked them, but if you try and go and follow them it won't let you. So he tried that, and realised I blocked him because he went through his damm followers list and noticed I wasn't on it. This same thing happened with Instagram, and the same result.
He comes to Choir with me, because he has study hall, but I want my alone time. He doesn't have to be there 24/7 with me!
I'm lying through my teeth about when I'm busy and if I make plans, I lie saying something came up just to get away. I'm pretty much lying about everything I say.
Honestly, there's too much baggage for me to handle, and I'm worried if I break up with him (with all his "I"m so depressed" message daily) he's going to get more depressed and could possibly attempt suicide. (there's no complete indicator, but getting depression messages multiple times every day is a bit worrying).If I have to continue this through my senior year, I'm breaking it off in college. I don't want to be tied down during college, I want to be free.
I miss my old boyfriend
.
I was thinking about making a blog because I saw all of yours and really liked them, but I wasn't sure. This has spurred my blog. I wanted somewhere I could ramble and make it so he couldn't read it. Plus, I like you guys,so I'd thought I would make a blog here.
Thank you for listening/reading my ramble if you got this far!
Lord above, you poor thing, sounds horrendous.
To be honest, it doesn't sound like you want to be with this guy but maybe that's just because you're in ranty mood at the minute! Having to block your boyfriend on basically all social media is pretty insane and not a feature of a healthy relationship. Have you tried explaining that you need a bit of a space? Likewise, has he explained why he wants to spend so much time with you? It may be that you just have differing opinions on how much time should be together in a relationship and with a bit of communication you can find a compromise. Would it hurt to just follow him on Twitter? I can't imagine being with someone I found so monumentally uninteresting that I couldn't bear them being in my feed (she says. when she doesn't use it)! Perhaps then he'd feel he had a bit more contact and a direct connection and wouldn't need to keep fighting his way in? Pure speculation of course!! But talking about it calmly would be my first step.
Ultimately, you are not responsible for someone's mental health and it's not fair for him to hold his depression over you so that you feel threatened by it and it heavily affects your actions. It's not healthy to feel like you have no choice but to lie to someone, especially in a relationship.