My boyfriend and I have always had an unhealthy sex life, which probably stems from emotional problems on my part. I often withhold sex, but it's not because I don't want sex. I masturbate pretty much daily, but for whatever reason I have a problem making the first move, and Matt's pretty much given up because he assumes I'm uninterested. We've been together for just about 3 years now, and things were pretty good in the beginning, but quickly became irregular. I enjoy sex, but I don't orgasm, and we go through very long dry spells, so sex is actually painful for the first few minutes, then it's okay, but I get bored. I know it's my fault our sex life is pretty much nonexistent, but it irritates me that Matt doesn't even make an effort anymore. When we do have sex, it seems very routine and I just don't feel like trying anything new, even though I've been willing to get pretty freaky in the past. I know it's not normal to only have sex every few months, and it's been addressed in therapy, but always takes a backseat to whatever other issues are going on in my life. I do think a healthy sex life is an important part of a healthy relationship, but I've gotten so used to not having much sex. Sometimes I wish Matt was a little more aggressive about pursuing a normal sex life with me, but he seems to have lost his confidence and become insecure, which I do not find attractive. I could just take one for the team and fantasize about someone else, but I think it would leave me feeling even more unfulfilled and guilty. There's a lot that I'm trying to say, but I feel very vulnerable and I can't get the right words out, so I'll leave it at that for now.
