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Grab Your Boomstick: The Zombie Apocalypse May Actually Be Upon Us


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#1 ToxicS

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 01:42 PM

By now we've all seen the awful, awful story about the Florida man who was shot to death by police for refusing to stop chewing on another man's face.
We joked around about it being the canary in the mine shaft of an impending zombie apocalypse. But as Tumblr blogger "I Hope Rick Santorum" helpfully points out in an appropriately viral post, this latest incident is not so much a warning shot as it is another in a disconcertingly intensifying stream of zombie-invoking headlines — all from the past two weeks, and all from the Sunshine State.
It all started on 5/16 with an ominous story about a "mysterious rash" at McArthur High School in Hollywood that launched a HazMat investigation. Twleve students and two teachers were treated and released. The source of the rash remains unknown.
Flashfoward two days: HazMat crews were called in to Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport to determine the source of an "unknown chemical" that sent five people to the hospital. Theories abound, but an exact cause was not confirmed.
On 5/20, the first real sign of trouble: 41-year-old Dr. Zachary Bird, was arrested by the Florida Highway Patrol near Orlando and charged with felony battery charges for spitting blood in a patrolman's face. He was also "extremely agitated and enraged," and repeatedly banged his head on the patrol car's plexiglass partition "until he bled."
A few days later, another mystery rash was reported at yet another Broward County school. A HazMat team was once again called in to investigate, and once again left without any concrete answers.
The following day, a "disoriented" Canadian man was arrested aboard an American Airlines plane after he inexpicably attempted to rush the cockpit. The plane had just landed in Miami.
On Saturday, an unidentified homeless man had some 80% of his face bitten off by 31-year-old Rudy Eugene.
And here's the bad news: Whatever's happening in Florida appears to be spreading. The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign tweeted the following the following warning to its students last night: "Hazardous materials released at Institute for Genomic Biology. Escape area if safe to do so. Otherwise seek shelter."
And in Hackensack, New Jersey, today, a man was rushed to the hospital after he reportedly cut out his own intestines and threw them at police officers.
Forget Facebook Stock: Invest in a good bunker.


Source: http://gawker.com/59...ally-be-upon-us

This is pretty crazy... Might be good to keep an eye on this because there's no way the heavily censored main stream media will cover this until there's practically zombies everywhere. (I know that is unlikely, but you know what I mean)

#2 Dazz

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 01:51 PM

Damn i've had a rash come up for the past few days too, i hope i don'ewtnjwbgjgrghgsevhghrghg mmmm brainssss

#3 Romy

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 01:58 PM

This is pretty crazy... Might be good to keep an eye on this because there's no way the heavily censored main stream media will cover this until there's practically zombies everywhere. (I know that is unlikely, but you know what I mean)


I don't think those incidents are necessarily related.

Just remember Occam's Razor.

"Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate"

#4 KaibaSama

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 01:59 PM

I knew I should have prepared more! Instead, I did my homework...*brings out all the M rated zombie games* MUST KILL ZOMBIES!

#5 Nymh

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:03 PM

I don't think those incidents are necessarily related.

Just remember Occam's Razor.

"Pluralitas non est ponenda sine neccesitate"


I wonder how many zombie-like incidents happened on a regular basis nationwide before these highly publicized events that got everyone thinking about an apocalypse. It couldn't have been much less than what we're seeing now.

#6 Romy

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:05 PM

Damn i've had a rash come up for the past few days too, i hope i don'ewtnjwbgjgrghgsevhghrghg mmmm brainssss

Spoiler


http://www.cracked.c...lly-happen.html

I wonder how many zombie-like incidents happened on a regular basis nationwide before these highly publicized events that got everyone thinking about an apocalypse. It couldn't have been much less than what we're seeing now.


Well...there has been cases where people have been..manipulated when being near death, but those can be attributed to trauma or disease of some sort. Not reanimation of the dead.

#7 Turnip

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:07 PM

But.... that whole thing where the hobo ate the guy's face was because he was high...?? So we don't know what he thought the person was, and hobos are hungry people soooo x3 Also, I thought zombies were supposed to be dead then they come back to life or something? Not being a hobo (unless the hobo dies or idk hehehh)

And the rash might just be because it's allergy season and all that~

Airline officials say the disoriented passenger stood up from his seat after landing Friday at Miami International Airport from Montego Bay. The flight was taxiing and he didn't obey crew member instructions to sit down. Authorities say he rushed toward the front and was subdued by some of the 165 passengers on flight 320.


... What does this have to do with zombies o.o

#8 Romy

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:11 PM

Airline officials say the disoriented passenger stood up from his seat after landing Friday at Miami International Airport from Montego Bay. The flight was taxiing and he didn't obey crew member instructions to sit down. Authorities say he rushed toward the front and was subdued by some of the 165 passengers on flight 320.


... What does this have to do with zombies o.o


^ This sums it up perfectly.

#9 Nymh

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:12 PM

But.... that whole thing where the hobo ate the guy's face was because he was high...?? So we don't know what he thought the person was, and hobos are hungry people soooo x3 Also, I thought zombies were supposed to be dead then they come back to life or something? Not being a hobo (unless the hobo dies or idk hehehh)

And the rash might just be because it's allergy season and all that~



... What does this have to do with zombies o.o


Who is to say that real life, living and breathing zombies are going to follow the rules that the entertainment industry has placed on them? It might just be a matter of psychotic breaks and irrational or unbelievable behavior.

#10 Turnip

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:16 PM

Who is to say that real life, living and breathing zombies are going to follow the rules that the entertainment industry has placed on them? It might just be a matter of psychotic breaks and irrational or unbelievable behavior.


True~ But still, that guy was high, for all we know he might have seen that guy as some huge walking banana split :p

Who wouldn't want to eat a huge banana split?? <3

Edited by Turnip, 05 June 2012 - 02:19 PM.


#11 Steve

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 02:20 PM

2012 is real.
People are going all zombie on us.
And India being attacked by unknown poisonous spiders (Plague)

#12 NapisaurusRex

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 06:12 PM

So what are you doing to prepare then?

#13 luvsmyncis

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 07:10 PM

hobos are hungry people soooo x3


Bwahahahaha! He was hungry, and there was a delicious face looking at him, so he went for it.

#14 sprockets

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 07:50 PM

Well if a zombiepocalypse ever comes all I have to do is stock up on treadmills.

Posted Image

Zombie Proofed house. done

#15 Elindoril

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Posted 05 June 2012 - 07:51 PM

Those treadmills better be set up to a power generator.

#16 ToxicS

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 01:01 AM



#17 stubbie

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 04:33 AM

Ah man I better buy a gun
to shoot myself with when the zombies outbreak.

#18 Nymh

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 05:27 AM

My house is already stockpiled with guns and all the ammo we could ever need.
Next stop Walmart, for Frozen Pizza's and Jäger ^_^


Wait wait WAIT

Wal-Mart has Jäger? What crazy awesome Wal-Mart do you go to?

#19 Waser Lave

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 05:28 AM

Those treadmills better be set up to a power generator.


You mean as opposed to attempting to tire the zombies out or help them get fit?

#20 iargue

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 06:57 AM

Its sad to see that all of the video games and movies has done NOTHING whatsoever at all to prepare the human race for an outbreak of this deadly disease.


There are two major types of the zombie outbreak. The first invention would be the reanimated dead. Some are extra slow, some are normal speed, and others are faster then humans. However it works, the come back from the dead to eat us.

The second kind is the "rage" zombies. these zombie (28 weeks) are driven with a large and unstoppable bloodlust that causes them to attack any living flesh in site, as well as spit blood and other things.

The thing that these "stories" lack from the zombie outbreak is speed. A zombie outbreak isn't scary because they are the living dead (You can kill them again). It scary because of the sheer numbers provided. A zombie outbreak is intended to take out 50% of the population in a single day. Its been weeks and we havent had more then 1-2 rage induced events. That is not anything to be worried about. If this is how fast the virus spreads, we will easily defeat it.

Its sad to see how many people are not trained to recognize the signs of an outbreak. Simply eating another human doesn't make you a zombie. That makes you a cannibal. When you attack other humans and attempt to spread the disease as fast as possible, it makes you a zombie. If the man who ate someones face had turned and tried to eat the cops as well. Zombie. but since all he cared about was enjoying his meal. Not a zombie.

The man who spit blood and bashed his head against a windsheild. Seems like a good canidate right? Blood rage, no sense of pain, trying to spread disease. Except zombies don't drive. Sorry.

#21 Sweeney

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 07:00 AM

Its sad to see that all of the video games and movies has done NOTHING whatsoever at all to prepare the human race for an outbreak of this deadly disease.


There are two major types of the zombie outbreak. The first invention would be the reanimated dead. Some are extra slow, some are normal speed, and others are faster then humans. However it works, the come back from the dead to eat us.

The second kind is the "rage" zombies. these zombie (28 weeks) are driven with a large and unstoppable bloodlust that causes them to attack any living flesh in site, as well as spit blood and other things.

The thing that these "stories" lack from the zombie outbreak is speed. A zombie outbreak isn't scary because they are the living dead (You can kill them again). It scary because of the sheer numbers provided. A zombie outbreak is intended to take out 50% of the population in a single day. Its been weeks and we havent had more then 1-2 rage induced events. That is not anything to be worried about. If this is how fast the virus spreads, we will easily defeat it.

Its sad to see how many people are not trained to recognize the signs of an outbreak. Simply eating another human doesn't make you a zombie. That makes you a cannibal. When you attack other humans and attempt to spread the disease as fast as possible, it makes you a zombie. If the man who ate someones face had turned and tried to eat the cops as well. Zombie. but since all he cared about was enjoying his meal. Not a zombie.

The man who spit blood and bashed his head against a windsheild. Seems like a good canidate right? Blood rage, no sense of pain, trying to spread disease. Except zombies don't drive. Sorry.


You know that zombies aren't real, right?

#22 iargue

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 07:06 AM

You know that zombies aren't real, right?


They also told us that the earth was flat, everything rotated around the earth, and that only gay people got aids.

Whats true today may not be true tomorrow.

#23 Sweeney

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 07:13 AM

They also told us that the earth was flat, everything rotated around the earth, and that only gay people got aids.

Whats true today may not be true tomorrow.


So you agree that it is true today. Excellent.
Glad to know you're not certifiable just yet.

#24 Waser Lave

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 07:13 AM

They also told us that the earth was flat, everything rotated around the earth, and that only gay people got aids.


Who has been telling you these things? You should probably avoid that person.

#25 Elindoril

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Posted 07 June 2012 - 07:40 AM

You mean as opposed to attempting to tire the zombies out or help them get fit?

Well, if you're going to give the zombies a place to exercise, you should at least power the TVs so they're entertained.


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