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#1 Mishelle

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 09:37 PM

I want to hear opinions. Have you ever done it? Do you think it works or it doesn't work? If you have done it, what are your rules? Got any crazy stories? Discuss.

#2 ShadowLink64

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 09:46 PM

Nope, and I don't think I'd be able to handle it. I'd get too emotionally attached.

Depending on the personalities of the people involved, maybe it could work?

#3 Applepi

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 09:55 PM

^ this.

I've had friends who've done it...never ends well:/

#4 Romy

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 09:58 PM

I've done it before but...the girl ended up getting really attached.
We ended up halfheartedly dating.
:(

I still feel crummy about breaking up with her over the phone.

#5 Strategist

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Posted 02 July 2012 - 10:05 PM

http://www.neocodex....-with-benefits/

^ There's the previous thread if anyone wishes to read through it.

#6 Guest_Kate_*

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 01:56 AM

Eh I have twice..
Once it was more like .. we weren't friends, but we slept together.
So yeah. We had no relationship aside from a physical one.

The other was actually my very best friend. We friendzoned each other for years, then when we realized we had actual feelings for each other.. I was like fuck that shit, it would ruin everything.. and it turns out it ruined everything anyway. :unsure:

#7 Nymh

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 03:15 AM

Had it, loved it, would do it again.


Have one now. Yuuuum.

#8 Mishatu

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 03:17 AM

I did for a short while. We were far too different to commit to a relationship, but it worked out fine.

He actually fully supported me while I went after my current bf <3

#9 Maeghan

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 03:47 AM

Ive done it before.
There weren't really any rules. The whole idea of FWB is that there are no rules to follow.

We would hang out, hook up, "OK, see you later". Probably not talk again for a week or two and we would pick back up when we were bored.

I'm not an emotional person, so to be able to see someone as just a play thing is pretty easy for me.
Now, whether or not that makes me a horrible person... thats a different discussion.

#10 IcedEarth

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 04:47 AM

I think it could work depending on the people. Only one rule for me. Don't get attached but then again that's hard to stick to when in some cases you end up hanging out with the person aswell.

#11 Vyers

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 05:06 AM

I did it with a married couple for years before they had to move to a different state (the guy was air force). They still come by and see me once in awhile, it is their way of keeping their marriage alive and healthy, I suppose.

#12 Shwag

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 05:12 AM

I did it with a married couple for years before they had to move to a different state (the guy was air force). They still come by and see me once in awhile, it is their way of keeping their marriage alive and healthy, I suppose.


I'd like to hear some back story as to how one gets in a situation like this. Sounds like it could be a good one.

OT:
I was in a relationship that was almost purely physical. We started off dating, but it eventually just turned into sex all the time. She wanted the relationship, but I knew I was going no where with her in the future. Ended pretty badly.

I think they can work if both participants are on the same level of thinking, and know they want nothing more than the benefits.

Edited by Shwag, 03 July 2012 - 05:13 AM.


#13 ROHLY20

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 05:38 AM

I did it with a married couple for years before they had to move to a different state (the guy was air force). They still come by and see me once in awhile, it is their way of keeping their marriage alive and healthy, I suppose.

I'd like to hear this story also.

#14 Elindoril

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 05:38 AM

I don't think I'm allowed to share my health benefits with friends.

#15 Cript

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 05:40 AM

I've done it before but...the girl ended up getting really attached.
We ended up halfheartedly dating.
:(

I still feel crummy about breaking up with her over the phone.


Exactly same thing that happened to me except didn't break up over phone. :-P

#16 Guest_coltom_*

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:01 AM

You speak as if the whole act can become as simple as a yargis and yakingis coming into contact. You speak as if just the yargis and yakingis are important by their own merit. No, just a pale shadow, just a diversion from the thing that our hearts seek, of the things that some will search forever and never find. Our hearts, they search for that one, for that one we can trust with everything, from being there when we need them, to being there when we need to share joy, or wipe away tears, or be the one that can tell us we're an arse when we're an arse. Don't misunderstand, the song of the flesh is a great thing, well worth the day of doing nothing but that dance, but the heart knows better. The heart wants, and sometimes the heart just wonders why this person that we allow into our bed, into our swing, onto a rock in sunlight above the deep green forest; our hearts wonder why that one we're sharing pleasure with isn't the the person we can share are all. The heart is easy to fool, for awhile.

Aiyee.

P.S BREAKING UP OVER THE PHONE! Dude, get your ass over there and apologize from noon to sundown, bring gifts, say your sorry in twelve languages. This gives all men a bad reputation.

Edited by coltom, 03 July 2012 - 06:04 AM.


#17 Shwag

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:19 AM

You speak as if the whole act can become as simple as a yargis and yakingis coming into contact. You speak as if just the yargis and yakingis are important by their own merit. No, just a pale shadow, just a diversion from the thing that our hearts seek, of the things that some will search forever and never find. Our hearts, they search for that one, for that one we can trust with everything, from being there when we need them, to being there when we need to share joy, or wipe away tears, or be the one that can tell us we're an arse when we're an arse. Don't misunderstand, the song of the flesh is a great thing, well worth the day of doing nothing but that dance, but the heart knows better. The heart wants, and sometimes the heart just wonders why this person that we allow into our bed, into our swing, onto a rock in sunlight above the deep green forest; our hearts wonder why that one we're sharing pleasure with isn't the the person we can share are all. The heart is easy to fool, for awhile.

You speak as if the whole act can become as simple as a yargis and yakingis coming into contact. You speak as if just the yargis and yakingis are important by their own merit. No, just a pale shadow, just a diversion from the thing that our hearts seek, of the things that some will search forever and never find.

simple as a yargis and yakingis coming into contact. You speak as if just the yargis and yakingis are important

yargis and yakingis yargis and yakingis


Edited by Shwag, 03 July 2012 - 06:19 AM.


#18 Alodielle

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:34 AM

I did twice.

The first time, the guy raped me when I tried to break it off with him.

The second time, the guy ended up falling for me and went off the deep end when I broke it off; he's still stalking me, two years later.

I guess it's fine if you can really trust the person, but always be careful about whom you choose. I never chose people too close to me because I didn't want to ruin any friendships, but perhaps if I had, I wouldn't have gone through what I did.

I'm not an emotional person, so to be able to see someone as just a play thing is pretty easy for me.
Now, whether or not that makes me a horrible person... thats a different discussion.


Don't know why on earth you'd think that might make you a horrible person. You're in better control of your feelings than most people -- it's something to be proud of. As long as you don't abuse the feelings of the other person, no one gets hurt; if no one gets hurt, you have nothing to feel guilty for.

#19 Syntax

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:39 AM

I had one. It was pretty fun until he went into the Army. But we do still hook up once in a while when he's out of camp.

Personally, long-term FWBs don't work, IMHO. But short term ones work well enough. Key thing is to not hang out much.

#20 Guest_coltom_*

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:47 AM

Ya?

#21 Mishatu

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:51 AM

Ya?

He is so confused by your terminology that he can't be bothered to figure out what you're trying to say.

#22 Nymh

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 06:58 AM

He is so confused by your terminology that he can't be bothered to figure out what you're trying to say.


I seriously doubt that was what Shwag was trying to convey.


Would you rather he say "pee-pee" and "hoo-hoo"?

#23 Guest_coltom_*

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 07:00 AM

He is so confused by your terminology that he can't be bothered to figure out what you're trying to say.


I figured it was a pretty self evident usage for the primary sexual organs.

The yargis is that thing that is just shy of a foot long, and a yakingis is infinitely deep.

I could have said, it isn't about parts, its about hearts.

I seriously doubt that was what Shwag was trying to convey.



Would you rather he say "pee-pee" and "hoo-hoo"?


Martini glass and swizzle stick?

#24 Romy

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 07:11 AM

Exactly same thing that happened to me except didn't break up over phone. :-P


She lived waaay too far away to do it in person.

#25 MishaZheleza

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Posted 03 July 2012 - 07:17 AM

I did twice.

The first time, the guy raped me when I tried to break it off with him.

The second time, the guy ended up falling for me and went off the deep end when I broke it off; he's still stalking me, two years later.

I guess it's fine if you can really trust the person, but always be careful about whom you choose. I never chose people too close to me because I didn't want to ruin any friendships, but perhaps if I had, I wouldn't have gone through what I did.



Don't know why on earth you'd think that might make you a horrible person. You're in better control of your feelings than most people -- it's something to be proud of. As long as you don't abuse the feelings of the other person, no one gets hurt; if no one gets hurt, you have nothing to feel guilty for.


That kinda happened to me, except my older brother walked in before anything terrible happened to me and kicked his ass. This guy who did this, let's call him Salamander, he was my high school FWB. Being in high school. no actual sex happened, but still loads of fooling around. However, I realized he was a jerk, so I tried to break it off. He took it terribly, and I ended up almost getting raped. Moral of the story, don't become FWB with someone who has been obsessed with you since you were 8.

She lived waaay too far away to do it in person.


Carrier Pigeon? Shows some thought, gives them a token of your appreciation, along with a pet if you don't train it to fly back...


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