Quantcast

Jump to content


Why we hate Colonel Tom.


  • This topic is locked This topic is locked
264 replies to this topic

#226 idontknow951

idontknow951
  • 490 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 02:47 PM

THAT IS AMAZING


That's shopped :p

#227 luvsmyncis

luvsmyncis
  • I have no friends.

  • 6724 posts


Users Awards

Posted 02 August 2012 - 02:47 PM

Christ.


Posted Image

#228 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 02 August 2012 - 04:52 PM

J.C. would have better abs and pecs, he was a carpenter.

#229 ElBastardoVerde

ElBastardoVerde
  • Shitstorm

  • 220 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 08:42 PM

He didn't exist, so any interpretation is correct.

#230 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 02 August 2012 - 09:49 PM

He didn't exist, so any interpretation is correct.

Belief in an absolute negative, how very dogmatic.

Funny crap


Timeline for the GirlRocker.

.. Dinosaurs rule the Earth
.. Born to a nice couple of cavepeople.
1967 Cave father dies
1975 Aspirgillious, meets first wife
1976 Bicentennial, birth of first wife's child, death of first wife.
1976 Walks to Florida
1978 Expelled from Air Force Academy, health reasons and failure to disclose on application.
1980 World turns to shit, Ronald Wilson Reagan is elected.
1982 B.S. ChE
1983 Marriage
1985 M.S. BmE., Captain, USAF, ParaRescue
1987 First Court Martial, resultant promotion to Major.
1988 Finest GD officer that has ever served his country, is removed from service based on unknown witness claiming unknown stories against my beloved Commanding Officer declare him "morally unfit to serve" ie, a fudge packer. Really start to dislike Reagan/Bush
1990 Give present of biological material to retired Junior officer after her marriage to her beloved partner. (Lezzies) Second attempted court martial for adulatory.
1991 Full Bird, retirement
1991 Move to wife's home state
1997 Divorce
1997-2001 Wild days, lots of sex
2001 Heart attack
2002 Second wife's daughter born
2005 Remarried
2010 Get electronics in chest to stay alive, near death.
2012 Got bored, meet rude children


#231 ElBastardoVerde

ElBastardoVerde
  • Shitstorm

  • 220 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:27 PM

Belief in an absolute negative, how very dogmatic.


I don't think you used dogmatic correctly. Religion lacks any empirical evidence, ergo, he doesn't exist.

#232 Futurama

Futurama
  • The Teacher.

  • 3772 posts


Users Awards

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:33 PM

Posted Image

#233 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:37 PM

I don't think you used dogmatic correctly. Religion lacks any empirical evidence, ergo, he doesn't exist.

I used dogmatic correctly, you just don't recognize your own dogma.

Belief in non-existence. Absolute certainty of a negation. Some old shit, different day.

#234 I33t

I33t
  • 65 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:39 PM

Synergy is the answer.

#235 Futurama

Futurama
  • The Teacher.

  • 3772 posts


Users Awards

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:40 PM

I used dogmatic correctly, you just don't recognize your own dogma.


Belief in non-existence. Absolute certainty of a negation. Some old shit, different day.


Posted Image

#236 I33t

I33t
  • 65 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:41 PM

Synergy IS the answer.

#237 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:47 PM

Synergy IS the answer.

Ah, but as Douglas Adams thought us all, What is the Question?

#238 I33t

I33t
  • 65 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:50 PM

Ah, but as Douglas Adams thought us all, What is the Question?

Synergy was not though.

#239 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:51 PM

There is a recent episode where Spongebob and Patrick are playing hide and seek. Spongebob goes to the end of the ocean, and meets "Patrick NotStar". Patrick Notstar looks what Patrick would look like, if he were wearing the Copper mustache we all just won from the Grundo warehouse.

Ah, but as Douglas Adams thought us all, What is the Question?

Synergy was not though.

No, 42.
Damn shame about Douglas Adams though, too damn young.

#240 Sweeney

Sweeney
  • 1230 posts


Users Awards

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:52 PM

Stop responding.
For the love of all things good and holy, just talk to someone else, about something else.

Is it that hard to ignore one, single old Indian cripple?

#241 I33t

I33t
  • 65 posts

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:53 PM

There is a recent episode where Spongebob and Patrick are playing hide and seek. Spongebob goes to the end of the ocean, and meets "Patrick NotStar". Patrick Notstar looks what Patrick would look like, if he were wearing the Copper mustache we all just won from the Grundo warehouse.

No, 42.
Damn shame about Douglas Adams though, too damn young.

But there was the fourty-two.

#242 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 02 August 2012 - 10:59 PM

Oh sweetie, I'm sorry. I need my ugly sleep. I was asleep, but I've strained my back from cutting up the tree the storm ripped apart, so I couldn't sleep. Time to sleep. Sweetie, get some sleep.

But there was the fourty-two.


That Dig-Dig as your signature tag? Robot chicken did that video game a while ago, and it was so familiar but I could not place what they were satirizing for the longest time. I was more of a pinball wizard myself, although I did love me a good game of GORF.

Crappers, I need to get that "HA HA HA, The Gorfian Empire" sound for my computer. That's what I'll do, tomorrow, sleep now. Night all you Prince and Princess of Maine.

Edited by coltom, 03 August 2012 - 05:42 AM.


#243 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:08 AM

"And did he sit upon that throne of ice, did he take his place beside the Queen of Ice and Pain". The old man smiled and then turned his eyes down and inward, weariness wrapped into his words, "No, no children. He did not. May you never have to make the choice, may you never be in that place, but all thrones in the place of Ice and Pain are just another trap, another punishment, another mistake of the moment regretted for eternity. I don't know what would have happened if he took that throne, but be grateful he did not."

He smile, as if remembering a long cherished secret. "No, as the little daemons of sharp tooth and long curved claws screamed and wailed, as the others looked upon waiting for what they knew not what, as the whole of this eternity of darkness stopped, he knelled. He knelled beside her, beside the little fire of unpleasant smoke that provide the only warmed to the damned, he knelled before her with eyes down, with heart open, knowing he was a clever man that had done something that never had been done, but knowing that was not enough. "My Lady, I am unworthy, I have nothing, I can give you nothing, except my promise to try to be worthy of you. In this places of tears and ice, I have nothing to give, nothing to offer, no name, no clan, no honour. I have nothing, yet say to you that I am as you would have me be, I will serve if you say serve, I will scream your name as I rush the Master of all ice, if you wish it of me". He bowed ever lower, not looking upon the queen damned to care for the fools, the cowards, the ones that had not been worthy. She reached down, and tilted his head towards hers, his eyes of the colour of the deepest forest soil, looked into her eyes of green and brown that matched exactly the colour of sunlight dancing through the forest on a summers day. In that moment, in that sliver of time, her heart sang. In that song, as eyes danced their dance, in that song for that moment, in the that sliver of time, even the ice and pain of that place could not hold them. A scream arouse, a great and terrible and glorious screamed arouse from all of the little darkling demons, for when those eyes danced, when those hearts sang, it was no longer Hell. In that sliver, in that moment the song was right. The ice was gone, the smoke was gone, the fools and cowards that had not been worthy, but whom had risked their nothingless for Clever Man in his chance to woe the Queen of Ice and Pain, in that moment they were free to find their way to where they'd go next. Thus, Clever Man and She whom had been the Queen of Ice of Pain were free, to find their way to where they must go next.

The old man smiled, took a sip of his warm corn beer and continued,
In that moment, in that sliver of time, in that eternity when eyes locked and love flowed, the place of ice and pain became a place of fast moving water, cold and harsh. The water, swept away the little darking demons first. The clean water turned their sharp little claws and bitting teeth into nothing. Then the souls of the fools and cowards, whom had been brave enough to help the Clever Man in his impossible tast, they too were scattered. They had been fools and cowards no more, willing to risk there nothing, for a plan that would never succeed, merely because it was the right and true thing to do. Thus, they were free. Some found their way, to the place of green and rain, to sweet green forest where friends rejoiced at their great fortune and family welcomed long lost children into the next world. Some, found their way back to this world, for they still had too much burden upon their spirits to go to the next.
Some might be lost still in the darkness and dust, or just be waiting to return to this world when the time needs their skills.

He took one last gulp of his warm corn beer, and listen for a sound that none of the young ones could hear. At the moment, his eldest daughter walked into the room, a cook spoon fresh from stiring the great pans of parched corn,late field beans, squash pudding and fried apples. She narrowed her eyes at her father, "Oh, you had to tell them the story, didn't you. No wonder no one heard the call to dinner. Well, the fires of hell aint going to keep your food warm, so if you want to eat you better get your butts in there before its all gone. Uncle Yrtie already in line, so I do believe you might not get any of the corn pickles if the umpteen years of these dinners is any predictor of events. So wash your hands, I'm sure they can use it, and git, git going".
The clan sort of moved faster at the news, cause Uncle Yrtie had been known to make a pretty big dent in the available amount of food at a buffet. The oldest boys were the fastest, and rushed to pretend that a splash of water on their hands was enough to make them clean. Soon, only the old man and one of his younger grandchildren remained. She was a clever girl, eyes like her grandmother and at age 10 should could already almost match her grandfather with a long winded story. She was troubled, her eyes narrowed staring at her grandpap, thinking of the question to ask, or thinking if she should ask the question.
"Yes, my little clever girl, you had a question important into to let your food grow cold". She looked at her grandpap, and finally decided the answer, one way or another, needed to heard.
"Grandfather, when hell melted, why didn't you and grandmom go to heaven". She wrinkled her brown, in the same way has her grandmother still does to this way, the weight of her thoughts hurting her head.

The old man, look at this clever, clever grandchild, and his brown eyes looked into those she'd inherited from her grandmother. His eyes of the colour of the deepest forest soil, looked into her eyes of green and brown that matched exactly the colour of sunlight dancing through the forest on a summers day. "Oh, my clever little girl", he smiled the kind of smile that only grows upon a proud grandparents face, "Oh my clever little girl, you seem to understand everything except that one thing, don't you now. Why do you think, that this isn't heaven for us? Now, come on little angel, they'll be hell to pay if we don't we don't gorge ourselves on that good food, and praise the cooks with our bellys.' With that, Grandfather Clever Man and Clever Granddaughter got down to the serious business of eating good food and sipping sweet tea.


The backend isn't as good as the middle, the front needs lot of work. The middle is nice images of the darkling little demons, thrusting long sharp claws into the flesh of those that attempt to escape the ice. Writing of hells torments one of the easiest things to do. Describing heaven, boring.

#244 Sweeney

Sweeney
  • 1230 posts


Users Awards

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:12 AM

So. How about that weather, eh?

#245 trizzle

trizzle
  • Deceptive Minx

  • 973 posts


Users Awards

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:16 AM

So. How about that weather, eh?


It's shitty here >:-(

#246 sprockets

sprockets
  • DonJonatino

  • 759 posts


Users Awards

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:17 AM

It's pouring rain here in Toronto.

#247 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:19 AM

Oh sweetie,I still don't read your comments, but I got the news yesterday that I gotten the advance on this story. Got the money wired to my account. Drinks forall my friends. Well, that took $13.45 out of my account for drinks, what am I going to do with the other thousands?

Suppose to rain here, but it hasn't yet.

#248 Yung

Yung
  • Codexian

  • 3361 posts


Users Awards

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:25 AM

Got the money wired to my account. Drinks forall my friends. Well, that took $13.45 out of my account for drinks, what am I going to do with the other thousands?


Way to rub that in our faces. I'm positive that everyone is going to really appreciate you doing that and start to like you even more than before!

:sarcasm_ha:

#249 Guest_coltom_*

Guest_coltom_*

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:25 AM

Yay, I got negged for sharing good news! How mature.

#250 trizzle

trizzle
  • Deceptive Minx

  • 973 posts


Users Awards

Posted 05 August 2012 - 09:26 AM

Congrats about the advance coltom that's actually cool :) I used to want to be a writer


0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users