145 replies to this topic

[8143FF763271]

Why should we set ourselves up in an arrangement that doesn't permit us to have fun with other people? What is wrong with me fucking other women, or my girl fucking other guys? What qualms should I have with it if it is something they enjoy and that I enjoy? Why do sexually exclusive relationships even exist?

[HappyAccident]

Because they do.

[luvsmyncis]

Social norms and personal preference.

[Teucer]

Jealousy?

If my mate wanted to be with someone else - even just sexually for a single night - not only would I feel a ting of jealousy, but I'd also wonder if I wasn't somehow enough. Personally, I wouldn't be okay with something like that. It all has to do with personality types, yah?

[8143FF763271]

Jealousy?

If my mate wanted to be with someone else - even just sexually for a single night - not only would I feel a ting of jealousy, but I'd also wonder if I wasn't somehow enough. Personally, I wouldn't be okay with something like that. It all has to do with personality types, yah?

But that's the thing, why do we feel jealousy over such things? I mean we enjoy variety even in sexual pleasure. That's the way we're biologically set up, there's a thrill in just difference. Why should that make us jealous? We're attracted to many people at the same time. That I'm attracted to other girls doesn't mean I'm not attracted to my girl. Likewise, I don't expect to be the only man that my girl wants to have sex with- albeit I expect her to want to have sex with me. I don't get why there's such a common inclination towards monogamous relationships when they seem so unnecessary, unnatural, and generally undesirable.

Is it strange that from what I know of your personality led me to believe you must be a Gemini man?
Of course according to your profile you're a Libra.. so I was genuinely surprised.

Gemini men have issues with commitment, are very promiscuous.. etc.

Edit: I feel like I should reword that "Gemini men are said to have.."
Because of course, it's not always the case.

Maybe it has to do with the fact that astrology is a crock of shit?

Edited by kami12, 16 August 2012 - 07:01 AM.

[Drakonid]

Social norms and personal preference.

This.
Kind of goes hand to hand with your other thread.

Is it strange that from what I know of your personality led me to believe you must be a Gemini man?
Of course according to your profile you're a Libra.. so I was genuinely surprised.

Gemini men have issues with commitment, are very promiscuous.. etc.

[8143FF763271]

The same way it's human nature to enjoy sexual encounters from various partners, and experiences... it's also human nature to be territorial. Including regarding your "mate".



Maybe you should make another thread about it, since you're on a roll with the spam and what-not

It's too well established that astrology is shit for it to be controversial and none of my threads count as spam.

Territoriality is irrational when it demands compromise and offers no benefits. I don't want a piece of land for myself because I want to own something, I want a piece of land because it yields me profits or something I care about. I don't see what benefit there is in having a partner be sexually exclusive. Do you want to own something and make a sacrifice for it when owning that something doesn't give you anything? What's the point?

[8143FF763271]

Love is very rewarding.
You wouldn't know, clearly. If you did this wouldn't even be up for discussion.

This is an argument. Use operational definitions, not vague bullshit concepts. What are the individual rewards of 'love' and how are they mutually exclusive with polygamy? Does love depend on how many people you have sex with? Furthermore, don't they have love in polygamous societies? Wouldn't your exclusively monogamous definition of it be ethnocentric? Is this 'love' thing even worth the sacrifice of your freedom to have various sexual partners? How?

[luvsmyncis]

Aren't you on the cusp of Leo/Virgo or someshit? That explains everything. EVERYTHING.

[8143FF763271]

I will use whatever concept I see fit, thanks. Do you always respond to disagreement with that same butthurt attitude?
For me it's again, a matter of opinion. I understand why people live in polygamy, and it doesn't bother me in anyway, shape, or form. So really there is nothing for me to argue. I am just stating that monogamy has it's perks. Love for example, from my experience, is a perk. I've been on both sides of the playing field, and I choose to be married and have a family of the two, just a personal preference.

Good job at completely disregarding all the questions. I asked for an operational definition of love for a reason: How is it something that cannot exist simultaneously with polygamy? What does love have to do with having one sexual partner? But, alas, you decide to use vaguely defined concepts instead of operational definitions, making your arguments virtually meaningless and indiscernible. It's your ineptitude and inability to make a proper point that irks me, not your disagreement.

Edited by kami12, 16 August 2012 - 07:23 AM.

[8143FF763271]

I'm not sure if you can read, or you're just being lazy, but I made it pretty clear I don't have an argument in this topic, so why does it matter WHY I am a monogamist? I simply stated that for me love is rewarding, I shouldn't have to explain it. I'm not trying to prove a point or make an argument, so it needs not be explained lmao.

You are just trying to dig through cement here bud.

Derp. This is like coming to a thread asking what are the possible benefits of a DVD player to tell people donuts are great so they should get a DVD player.

Sure, you don't have to explain how one thing is connected to the other. You have your right to sound like an idiot. Just don't act surprised when people are mildly annoyed by it.

[Mishatu]

While I feel there could be a lot of excitement and variety in a polygamous setting, at the end of the day, I just want one person to cuddle with and be able to share my innermost thoughts with.

With multiple people, I'm sure I'd end up telling some of them the same thing more than once and others not at all.

I do so like cuddling.

[8143FF763271]

Speak for yourself.
You're just mad that I'm not feeding you.

But you know, I do have an issue with this statement:


It's like you are just being lazy.. I said it was in our nature to be territorial, as it is with most animals.
I am quite certain a dog who pisses on everything in sight is not doing it because it's beneficial. They are doing it because naturally, they are territorial, they want to be the dominating force.

I am human and I get no pleasure from owning a piece of land unless I get something else from it. There's no intrinsic benefit for me in being a "dominating force" (here defined as the only person fucking someone else). If other people do exert intrinsic pleasure from simply owning something, my bad. I just thank God my genes aren't that stupid.

You could, perhaps, make the argument that we enjoy other people's flattery and devotion and we get intrinsic pleasure from that, so it aids the ego to know we're the only person fucking our partners... but how is it flattering when the only reason our partners are faithful is because we're faithful to them? Our partners aren't monogamous because we're the ultimate bedroom athletes, they're faithful to us on the basis that people on a monogamous relationship have to be faithful to each other. It's a mutual agreement whose transgression compromises the relationship. There's nothing flattering about putting limits on people's freedoms if they put some on yours.

I also agree that polygamists can be in love with multiple people. I think you're absolutely right.
But the type of love I have with my partner is different, for me. We share a bond that I just do not share with anyone else, and that is our children.
That is the love I am referring to.

Erm. What does that have to do with sexual exclusivity?

While I feel there could be a lot of excitement and variety in a polygamous setting, at the end of the day, I just want one person to cuddle with and be able to share my innermost thoughts with.

With multiple people, I'm sure I'd end up telling some of them the same thing more than once and others not at all.

I do so like cuddling.

How does having a person to cuddle with and share your innermost thoughts with relate to sexual exclusivity? Why can't you fuck other people? Don't you want to fuck more than one person?

Edited by kami12, 16 August 2012 - 08:19 AM.

[Mishatu]

How does having a person to cuddle with and share your innermost thoughts with relate to sexual exclusivity? Why can't you fuck other people? Don't you want to fuck more than one person?

Maybe like once in my life, just to say that I did. But I can't be sexually intimate with someone I'm not intimate with emotionally. Thus why I need someone to cuddle and talk to. Ergo why one-night stands would never work for me.

At the end of the day, I prefer familiarity over variety.

[Mishelle]

An orgasm doesn't last forever, AIDs does.

[8143FF763271]

Maybe like once in my life, just to say that I did. But I can't be sexually intimate with someone I'm not intimate with emotionally. Thus why I need someone to cuddle and talk to. Ergo why one-night stands would never work for me.

At the end of the day, I prefer familiarity over variety.

See? That's a good explanation for an intrinsic appeal in sexual exclusivity. She needs emotional intimacy with someone to feel comfortable having sexual intimacy, therefore, she will probably stick to one partner. What if you get emotional intimacy with two people? Are you going to fuck them both?

An orgasm doesn't last forever, AIDs does.

Some people just haven't heard of condoms yet. Which, by the way, are statistically more trustworthy than the human beings you're dating.