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Femininity sucks.


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#26 Waser Lave

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 10:26 AM

You don't believe in altruism.


I wouldn't bother.

#27 Mishatu

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Posted 22 August 2012 - 10:27 AM

You don't believe in altruism.

Does that mean I have an ulterior motive in hugging people?

#28 ae19

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Posted 01 September 2012 - 01:11 PM

Feminist here.

If I'm reading your arguments correctly, what you're essentially arguing is that femininity is bad because the traits you associate with femininity aren't traits that develop under the normal means that other personality traits develop under, whether those traits be inherent (genetic) or developed under social influences that don't include patriachal ones.

Femininity would be defined by passivity, succorance, sensitivity, empathy, naivette, weakness, "being emotional", being "intuitive", submissiveness, compassion, and gentleness.


So if femininity is unnatural, are you arguing that women are, by nature, active, cold, lacking in empathy, wise, strong, unemotional, disintuitive, dominant, lacking in compassion, and rough? Are these the "normal" traits that patriarchy has conditioned us out of?

Is it natural or unnatural for a man to possess these (feminine) traits?

Edited by ae19, 01 September 2012 - 01:13 PM.


#29 Frizzle

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Posted 01 September 2012 - 01:45 PM

Feminist here.


Stopped reading here.

#30 Kashi

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Posted 08 September 2012 - 09:26 PM

So if femininity is unnatural, are you arguing that women are, by nature, active, cold, lacking in empathy, wise, strong, unemotional, disintuitive, dominant, lacking in compassion, and rough? Are these the "normal" traits that patriarchy has conditioned us out of?

Is it natural or unnatural for a man to possess these (feminine) traits?

Well, I don't know if the topic's owner meant that, but I think that neither women nor men are born with any trait. Oh, but... They may feel what's going on outside the uterus, mainly to the mother. Still, it doesn't mean that the baby will have his personality all formed in the uterus. And not even outside it. The baby can be influenced by a good portion of things, so that different babies have different reactions to the same situation. And there's no proof that women are born different from men regarding their gender, as if there is no proof regarding the Horoscope.

#31 breadbox101

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Posted 11 September 2012 - 06:25 PM

I like being feminine. I'm an independent woman. But I often wear heels, makeup, use a and cigarette holder while wearing bright red lipstick. I see nothing wrong with it. Women as well as men should definitely take pride in their appearance. Gender identity is not linear, it is fluid. Do some research.

#32 Kashi

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 04:24 PM

Femininity is a social construct made within patriarchal society that is both unnatural (women aren't born like that) and socially dysfunctional (it serves us for nothing).

Can you prove that it's a social construct? Can you prove it's unnatural? Can you prove women aren't born like that?

Can you prove women are born like that?
Seriously, have you ever been with a kid? Man or woman, they have their own "weird" or "troublesome" behavior that doesn't "fit" and are a taught how to fit into society. Am I wrong?

Being "feminine" shouldn't be encouraged and women's adherence to the behaviour associated with such a dreadful concept is part of why we have yet to reach gender equality.

Why shouldn't they be? Can you explain this? Also, please explain why it is a dreadful concept.

It isn't encouraged, it's kind of forced.
And why they shouldn't be? Because it means a woman must be permissive, can't get what she really wants because of someone else's wishes, can't be strong because they would threaten others.

I like being feminine. I'm an independent woman. But I often wear heels, makeup, use a and cigarette holder while wearing bright red lipstick. I see nothing wrong with it. Women as well as men should definitely take pride in their appearance. Gender identity is not linear, it is fluid. Do some research.

Because there's nothing wrong with it if you really enjoy it... But there are people that don't really do.

#33 Romy

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:10 PM

It isn't encouraged, it's kind of forced.

And why they shouldn't be? Because it means a woman must be permissive, can't get what she really wants because of someone else's wishes, can't be strong because they would threaten others.


You assume that everybody still has this backwards way of thinking.
Move past it already. You cling to an outdated definition of femininity.
Being feminine no longer holds a subjugated connotation.
Most men would rather have a strong partner by their side then someone that will whatever they order them to.
I want someone strong enough for me to rely on. Everyone does.

#34 Mew

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:16 PM

You assume that everybody still has this backwards way of thinking.
Move past it already. You cling to an outdated definition of femininity.
Being feminine no longer holds a subjugated connotation.
Most men would rather have a strong partner by their side then someone that will whatever they order them to.
I want someone strong enough for me to rely on. Everyone does.

Amen brother.
+rep.

Edited by Mew, 26 September 2012 - 05:16 PM.


#35 Kashi

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:27 PM

You assume that everybody still has this backwards way of thinking.
Move past it already. You cling to an outdated definition of femininity.
Being feminine no longer holds a subjugated connotation.
Most men would rather have a strong partner by their side then someone that will whatever they order them to.
I want someone strong enough for me to rely on. Everyone does.

Believe me, it's not that outdated. I've heard of tons and tons of examples of women who had to deal with people who thought this way, even though they didn't realize it. I'm not saying everybody does. But I think that, at least, many people doesn't assume it or realize it. How many times have I heard that a woman that was being harassed and didn't correspond to it nicely like a submissive little girl was called a cold bitch? Uh, I dunno, maybe many?

Edited by Kashi, 26 September 2012 - 05:28 PM.


#36 turtleowl

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:38 PM

tbh, it depends on your definition of femininity. It could be just what are the intrinsic characteristics of a woman. Not necessarily condoning the idea of submission or confinement to domesticity.

Also, everything is construct of society and truth is subjective. So everything is about perception.........

#37 Romy

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:41 PM

Believe me, it's not that outdated.

You kind of agreed with me.
If there are people out there that are unable to stand up for themselves (especially if they are in the right and don't have to fear repercussions) then that is their fault.
It is not a "female" thing. It is a fact of life.
If you are weak, you will be taken advantage of. You cannot expect special treatment on the grounds that you are a woman.
Grow a pair of steel ovaries.

How many times have I heard that a woman that was being harassed and didn't correspond to it nicely like a submissive little girl was called a cold bitch? Uh, I dunno, maybe many?

I'd much rather be a "cold bitch" then have some creepy person hit on me or feel me up.

Why don't you stop caring about what other's think?

Edited by Ivysaur, 26 September 2012 - 05:41 PM.


#38 turtleowl

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Posted 26 September 2012 - 05:48 PM

I'd much rather be a "cold bitch" then have some creepy person hit on me or feel me up.

This. Guys always consider me aloof and frigid. It's friggin' annoying. And when they don't get anything from you they say you're a lesbian >__>
wow, whoops sorry for generalisation... but the guys i know always say that.

#39 infecthead

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Posted 28 September 2012 - 03:15 AM

This. Guys always consider me aloof and frigid. It's friggin' annoying. And when they don't get anything from you they say you're a lesbian >__>
wow, whoops sorry for generalisation... but the guys i know always say that.


You're probably still in highschool, don't worry about it.

#40 dratini

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 02:46 PM

this kind of behaviour exhibited by men - attempts at classifying and telling women what they are/should be - is the APEX of patriarchal oppression. you posting this thread has proved how inherently sexist you are.

(i know i'm feeding the troll and that he can't even see this but ugh)

#41 Guest_coltom_*

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Posted 03 October 2012 - 02:59 PM

this kind of behaviour exhibited by men - attempts at classifying and telling women what they are/should be - is the APEX of patriarchal oppression. you posting this thread has proved how inherently sexist you are.

(i know i'm feeding the troll and that he can't even see this but ugh)


Well don't look at me, I'm from of the more matrilineal and balanced societies on the planet.

#42 MoshZombie

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Posted 07 October 2012 - 10:37 PM

Here's some interesting facts,

The colour for baby boys used to be pink and baby girls were associated with blue then this all started to change within if memory serves me correctly the past 150years and now girls are more associated with pink.

Pink was considered the mini version of red which was a manly colour and blue was considered the dainty feminine colour possibly also relating to the virgin mary.

All children used to be called girls, boys were known as gnave girls. The word boy was never gender restrictive either and was used as a name for servants and the like. And yes men used to wear high heels more commonly than they do today, throughout history spanning hundreds of years men wore heels for many different reasons.

In general both sexes have things they are better and worse at but there is always exceptions. The strongest woman will probably never be stronger than the strongest man but she would be stronger than alot of men. I tend not to put so much emphasis on gender and instead just look at everyone as people though there are alot of stereotypical examples out there of manly men and girly girls.

I also in part blame men and women for their inequalities, women and men tend to put each other down alot whether it be out of jealousy or because they adopt each others ideals on how they should be. Some countries like Scandinavia I've heard however are not like this and most of the women there are what other western countries would consider to be sluts because they can freely choose to have sex whenever they want with whomever they want freely without it being looked down upon. Europeans have always been more relaxed with things like nudity though.

TLDR I think that everybody needs to stop worrying about what other people think and live their lives how they want to and do what makes them happy, as long as you're not hurting anybody else I don't see a problem with this.

Edited by MoshZombie, 07 October 2012 - 10:39 PM.


#43 Shirwinator

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Posted 28 October 2012 - 09:28 PM

For me female masculinity is a major turnoff.

in an extreme example:
Posted Image

Yeah no...

And MoshZombie is correct in the fact that in Victorian times pink was the colour for boys however, times change and what colour you wear (at least to me) isn't representative of your femininity nor your masculinity (either or).

Edited by Shirwinator, 28 October 2012 - 09:30 PM.


#44 kittycat

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Posted 27 December 2012 - 01:03 PM

I wish Khaligula was still here because it would be interesting to read a response to ae19 who handled this topic very well. I feel like GD is dead. Also, dratini with the comment on the flaws in a Freudian psychoanalysis of femininity. Women are allowed to 'fall victim' to patriarchal society, not because they are helpless to the 'male gaze' but because for example, women may desire attention and actively pursue it, using femininity as a tool.

Move past it already. You cling to an outdated definition of femininity.

After establishing that femininity is a social construct (it is), it's unintelligent to say someone is using an outdated definition of femininity on the internet: a form that has a collective of members from a plethora of varied cultural backgrounds

#45 bunnykd

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Posted 27 December 2012 - 07:57 PM

Femininity isn't a choice - that is why you have very butch females and very feminine females. Same goes for guys - some guys are very metro/feminine while others are straight up masculine.

#46 Yung

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Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:06 PM

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...seriously, some threads and topics should die.

#47 Romy

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Posted 27 December 2012 - 08:08 PM

After establishing that femininity is a social construct (it is), it's unintelligent to say someone is using an outdated definition of femininity on the internet: a form that has a collective of members from a plethora of varied cultural backgrounds


Then...why have this discussion at all if everyone has their own definition of femininity?
I made that point assuming that she was referring to an antiquated western definition of femininity. (Which she was.)

Edit: Swapped Feminism for femininity.
Darn phone -_-t

Edited by Ivysaur, 28 December 2012 - 03:50 PM.


#48 luvsmyncis

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Posted 28 December 2012 - 05:41 AM

If there are people out there that are unable to stand up for themselves (especially if they are in the right and don't have to fear repercussions) then that is their fault.
It is not a "female" thing. It is a fact of life.
If you are weak, you will be taken advantage of. You cannot expect special treatment on the grounds that you are a woman.
Grow a pair of steel ovaries.


Holy fuck. This is the worst shit I've ever heard from you. I don't think it's very nice to tell victims of rape and sexual harassment that it's their own fault for being weak.

Posted Image

...seriously, some threads and topics should die.


Especially the threads where people keep discussing things they don't understand at all.

#49 Romy

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Posted 28 December 2012 - 10:35 AM

Holy fuck. This is the worst shit I've ever heard from you. I don't think it's very nice to tell victims of rape and sexual harassment that it's their own fault for being weak.


I was referring to women that don't stand up for themselves because it isn't considered a "feminine" thing to do.
Edit: Which...I don't understand why reporting someone that feels you up unfeminine.

Edited by Ivysaur, 28 December 2012 - 10:36 AM.


#50 Sweeney

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Posted 28 December 2012 - 11:08 AM

I was referring to women that don't stand up for themselves because it isn't considered a "feminine" thing to do.


I don't think they exist,


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