274 replies to this topic

[Frizzle]

TLDR BLAH BLAH BLAH

 

This is probably the most affective and emotionally stable way of raising kids in my eyes. A last resort of punishment if all methods have been exhausted and possibly the most effective way in bringing up children. I don't agree with Joe's idea of completely ruling it out but I do agree with the idea that a nice happy medium is the most affective way of discipline.

 

It's all the worse thing to disappoint your parents, but it also shows you that your methods are affective.

Isn't that basically what appeasement was?

 

EXACTLY, THIS IS WHY WE HAD NAZIS EVERYWHERE JOE

[darkmadness]

When I was a kid (and that is a vurrry long time ago now) my dad used to get me with the kettle (jug) chord, wooden spoon and his hand. I don't know why, but in the end I always feared his hand more than anything. He definitely took things to the extreme and it crossed the line into physical abuse at times. That being said, I'm not against "spanking", sometimes I feel as though control has been taken out of parents hands and put into kids hands with all the strict laws. Don't get me wrong, I do realise there are a lot of parents out there that cross the line, just like my dad did, but those people will always cross the line - laws or no laws.

 

Spanking your child is one thing, physical abuse is something else entirely.

 

Oh, and spanking in the bedroom is definitely alright by me.

[Sweeney]

Spanking your child is one thing, physical abuse is something else entirely.

 

Uh, why?

That smells a bit close to eugenics and it's difficult to see how you could come up with an assessment which wouldn't be biased by the people composing it.

 

Eh, nothing wrong with eugenics. It's got a bad rap.

[NapisaurusRex]

I guess the issue I have with the anti-spankers is that I've been spanked as an adult for a misdeed. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't awful either and I'm not going to do the thing I did wrong, so it worked. What's the difference?

[Sweeney]

I guess the issue I have with the anti-spankers is that I've been spanked as an adult for a misdeed. It wasn't fun, but it wasn't awful either and I'm not going to do the thing I did wrong, so it worked. What's the difference?

 

Who spanked you as an adult?

[Frizzle]

Eh, nothing wrong with eugenics. It's got a bad rap.

 

You'd get on with Khmer Rouge

[Waser Lave]

Eh, nothing wrong with eugenics. It's got a bad rap.

Funnily enough I knew you'd be of that opinion.

[NapisaurusRex]

Who spanked you as an adult?

That's kind of an awkward question, don't you think?

[Sweeney]

That's kind of an awkward question, don't you think?

 

Only if you think there's something wrong with what happened.

[NapisaurusRex]

Only if you think there's something wrong with what happened.

Well, now I'm wondering. No one polled that it was ok to do that and there seems to be a lot of people in here that think it isn't ok. I'm susceptible to both peer pressure and shame.

On the other side, I've also been popped across the face and thrown out the door as an adult and the spanking was very much preferred.

(different people. Just throwing that out there.)

Edited by Napiform, 23 April 2013 - 06:13 PM.

[Sweeney]

Well, now I'm wondering. No one polled that it was ok to do that and there seems to be a lot of people in here that think it isn't ok. I'm susceptible to both peer pressure and shame.

On the other side, I've also been popped across the face and thrown out the door as an adult and the spanking was very much preferred.

 

I find it horrifying that you find such infantilisation acceptable. You are an adult, capable of having a fully equal dialogue with another adult, yet you were subjected to a humiliating punishment, and you accepted that.

 

I am flabbergasted.

[Boggart]

I think you can spank your own children as one of those last resorts.

 

NEVER slap another person's child. whether grandchild, nephew, baby sitting, NO

[darkmadness]

Why is spanking different to physical abuse, in my opinion? Where I come from, spanking = a light slap on the arse. I don't consider that physical abuse personally, maybe others do and they are entitled to.

[NapisaurusRex]

I've read a bunch of different things about spanking now and a recurring theme is what's the difference between women and children. There isn't, so I should spank my kids?

Edited by Napiform, 23 April 2013 - 06:21 PM.

[Sweeney]

I think you can spank your own children as one of those last resorts.

 

If you can't deal with children without being forced to resort to spanking them, you shouldn't be allowed children.

Why is spanking different to physical abuse, in my opinion? Where I come from, spanking = a light slap on the arse. I don't consider that physical abuse personally, maybe others do and they are entitled to.

 

Unwanted physical contact that does not serve a purpose that cannot be pursued any other way is abuse.

I've read a bunch of different things about spanking now and a recurring theme is what's the difference between women and children. There isn't, so I should spank my kids?

 

Children are people. Hitting people is not the best way to deal with problems with people.

[NapisaurusRex]

Unwanted physical contact that does not serve a purpose that cannot be pursued any other way is abuse.

That was my next wonderment, what if the kid wants it? Like it's the preferred punishment to them?

[Waser Lave]

If you can't deal with children without being forced to resort to spanking them, you shouldn't be allowed children.

Which raises the question of why that view of parenting is right while the alternative is wrong? Who decides these things? You?

[Frizzle]

Children are people. Hitting people is not the best way to deal with problems with people.

 

It is in my line of work.

[NapisaurusRex]

I think you can spank your own children as one of those last resorts.
 
NEVER slap another person's child. whether grandchild, nephew, baby sitting, NO

What about step-children?

[Sweeney]

That was my next wonderment, what if the kid wants it? Like it's the preferred punishment to them?

 

Then you've fucked your kid up already, and you'd better work doubly hard to sort them out?

Which raises the question of why that view of parenting is right while the alternative is wrong? Who decides these things? You?

 

Someone really should. People are bad at making their own decisions.

It is in my line of work.

 

No it's not, Lee

[Nymh]

That was my next wonderment, what if the kid wants it? Like it's the preferred punishment to them?

 

Children shouldn't be allowed to pick their punishment.  Allowing them to pick something they prefer is not an effective deterrent to unwanted behavior (hey I'll just get my but kicked, nbd, happens all the time), and can encourage them to develop nasty habits like manipulation and back-talking (YOULETMEPICKLASTTIMEWTF).  Punishments should be administered by the parent, not chosen by the child.

[NapisaurusRex]

Children shouldn't be allowed to pick their punishment.  Allowing them to pick something they prefer is not an effective deterrent to unwanted behavior (hey I'll just get my but kicked, nbd, happens all the time), and can encourage them to develop nasty habits like manipulation and back-talking (YOULETMEPICKLASTTIMEWTF).  Punishments should be administered by the parent, not chosen by the child.

I meant like begging for one thing over another, not that an option is given initially.

[Nymh]

I meant like begging for one thing over another, not that an option is given initially.

 

I'd still say the same thing.  Plus if they know you'll cave and do what they want if they make a big enough deal of it, that's even worse.

[Waser Lave]

Someone really should. People are bad at making their own decisions.

How would such a decision be made though? Would it be based on what is popular in parenting now? After all, it's only the last few years that smacking children has become popularly 'unacceptable'.

[NapisaurusRex]

I'd still say the same thing.

By that I meant, it's not something I do, I was just curious. I really need to start saying what I mean.