274 replies to this topic

[Sweeney]

My parents never spanked my brother, at least not as much as they did with me because my brother is Canadian born and my parents softened up. Let's just say he's grown into an entitled little shit who has no discipline whatsoever. I'm tired of the whole parents-trying-to-be-your-friend parenting trend right now. There has to be boundaries or else you end up with annoying brats.

The fact that they didn't spank him is not the direct cause of his being an entitled shit.

[Waser Lave]

The fact that they didn't spank him is not the direct cause of his being an entitled shit.

How do you know?

[Turnip]

What glorious little shits your children will turn into.

 

Ehhh, my parents didn't do the physical punishment thing to me and I don't think I've turned into a ``glorious/entitled/etc little shit"

Mind you there wasn't really anything to punish me over in the first place? Since I would actually listen to my parents/adults in general and did what they said lmao

 

The "worst" punishment sort of thing I can remember was being sent to my room~

[Elindoril]

The "worst" punishment sort of thing I can remember was being sent to my room~

Jokes on them I have video games in my room.

[Sweeney]

How do you know?

Because people aren't simple.

[Waser Lave]

Because people aren't simple.

Some people are very simple.

[Mishelle]

I think that taking away things tends to work better than spanking. When it comes to spanking it's only a quick punishment and then it's over and they get to go back to doing whatever they want to do. When my brother comes to my house he knows he has to behave or I will take everything he loves and lock it up and he won't have anything to do so he always behaves himself when he stays with me.  

[Dazz]

How the kid turns out is entirely down to them, not what punishment you use on 'em or anything like that.

[Frizzle]

How the kid turns out is entirely down to them, not what punishment you use on 'em or anything like that.

 

So I can beat my kids to within an inch of their life and their severe psychological issues won't be my fault? SCORE.

[Mishelle]

How the kid turns out is entirely down to them, not what punishment you use on 'em or anything like that.

 

Come on you know that's bullshit.

[NapisaurusRex]

Come on you know that's bullshit.

I don't think it is bullshit.

So I can beat my kids to within an inch of their life and their severe psychological issues won't be my fault? SCORE.

It would be your fault, but if they decide not to do anything about it once they're an adult... that's not your fault.

Edited by Napiform, 20 May 2013 - 02:39 PM.

[Dazz]

So I can beat my kids to within an inch of their life and their severe psychological issues won't be my fault? SCORE.

 

Alright i'll make it clearer, i'm talking about all the traditional shit such as spanking, the naughty step , not no maniac shit.

 

Come on you know that's bullshit.

 

Nope. I've never known anyone to blame how they behave now on being spanked a few times for being naughty when they was little. Sure it keeps 'em in line at a young age but for how long? Everyone grows out of it. If i became a crackhead, it's not because i wasn't punished enough when i was little.

[Mishelle]

Alright i'll make it clearer, i'm talking about all the traditional shit such as spanking, the naughty step , not no maniac shit.

 

 

Nope. I've never known anyone to blame how they behave now on being spanked a few times for being naughty when they was little. Sure it keeps 'em in line at a young age but for how long? Everyone grows out of it. If i became a crackhead, it's not because i wasn't punished enough when i was little.

 

There's numerous studies on how corporal punishment effects children when juxtaposed with other form of punishments.

[Ladida]

I think that taking away things tends to work better than spanking. When it comes to spanking it's only a quick punishment and then it's over and they get to go back to doing whatever they want to do. When my brother comes to my house he knows he has to behave or I will take everything he loves and lock it up and he won't have anything to do so he always behaves himself when he stays with me.  

...And then the kid decides to rape you and shoot you to death..

 

I was spanked. I spank my puppies to keep them in line, which is better than their mom who bites them up, but they don't seem to mind either one.

[Mishelle]

I live in Hippieland, California we don't have guns. And I'm fat and he's skinny, I can take him.

[Sweeney]

I spank my puppies to keep them in line, which is better than their mom who bites them up, but they don't seem to mind either one.

Are you comparing children to dogs?

[Nymh]

I think it's sad that the general idea of discipline that I'm seeing in this thread is a dichotomy.  Either you spank your children or you don't discipline them at all.

 

People (Yung) have asked repeatedly for alternatives to spanking, as if spanking or otherwise inflicting pain or discomfort upon your children is the only real option for punishment/discipline.  This couldn't be farther from the truth.

 

Think about how you're treated at work or school or random public places, as a grown person.  When you do something you're not supposed to do, can your boss bend you over their knee and spank you?  No... and yet somehow they manage to punish or sanction employees for adverse behaviors and by doing so discourage them in the future.

 

I don't see why it's OK for us to hit and humiliate our children when we wouldn't want that done to ourselves.  The punishment should suit the "crime," per-se.  THINK about what your child has done, and discipline them accordingly.  Don't just respond instinctively with whacking them.

 

At least that's my take on it.

[Sweeney]

I think it's sad that the general idea of discipline that I'm seeing in this thread is a dichotomy.  Either you spank your children or you don't discipline them at all.

Luckily, most of them don't actually have children.

And it's not like Yung's had much of a chance anyway.

[NapisaurusRex]

People (Yung) have asked repeatedly for alternatives to spanking, as if spanking or otherwise inflicting pain or discomfort upon your children is the only real option for punishment/discipline.  This couldn't be farther from the truth.

I think the reason yung has been asking specifically about spanking because I (and someone else) asked Sweeney about timeout/naughtystep alternatives because he made it seem like those were unacceptable too. Tag-teaming.
 

Think about how you're treated at work or school or random public places, as a grown person.  When you do something you're not supposed to do, can your boss bend you over their knee and spank you?  No... and yet somehow they manage to punish or sanction employees for adverse behaviors and by doing so discourage them in the future.

Where I worked, there are verbal warnings and write ups and then you're fired. I can understand verbal warnings. I don't give allowances to the kids, simply because they don't understand money yet. We're still working on it. I can hardly fire my kids. I think one of the reasons that those things work for adults is because of the extrinsic result (money, bonuses) or an intrinsic result (promotion, self-esteem, peer pressure, etc.) Also, just as with kids, there are some adults who straight up don't give a fuck and will do whatever just cause they can and don't care about the punishment.
 

I don't see why it's OK for us to hit and humiliate our children when we wouldn't want that done to ourselves.  The punishment should suit the "crime," per-se.  THINK about what your child has done, and discipline them accordingly.  Don't just respond instinctively with whacking them.

I don't see this thread as having a surplus of people just randomly whacking kids.

I will say that this thread has decreased the spanking level in our house, but even before, it wasn't just random swats. There were verbal warnings, and discussion before and after.

Spoiler

welcome to my fucked up mind... I instinctively made a commercial in my mind for that book To Train Up a Child. *Swats with Thought* Anyway...

[Ladida]

Are you comparing children to dogs?

I'm comparing animals to other animals.

[Sweeney]

I'm comparing animals to other animals.

Not all animals are equatable.

[Nymh]

I think the reason yung has been asking specifically about spanking because I (and someone else) asked Sweeney about timeout/naughtystep alternatives because he made it seem like those were unacceptable too. Tag-teaming.
 

 

I am not sure where he said that, but we use the time-out chair at home so I can't imagine he finds it unacceptable.

 

Where I worked, there are verbal warnings and write ups and then you're fired. I can understand verbal warnings. I don't give allowances to the kids, simply because they don't understand money yet. We're still working on it. I can hardly fire my kids. I think one of the reasons that those things work for adults is because of the extrinsic result (money, bonuses) or an intrinsic result (promotion, self-esteem, peer pressure, etc.)

 

See, that's the kind of thought process that should go into discipline for children as well.  Some kind of result that will cause them to think more carefully about what they do.  Also talking through things so that they understand the "whys" behind what you are saying, thus building their understanding for what is right and wrong.

[Sweeney]

I think the reason yung has been asking specifically about spanking because I (and someone else) asked Sweeney about timeout/naughtystep alternatives because he made it seem like those were unacceptable too. Tag-teaming.

Where?

[Ladida]

Not all animals are equatable.

It's interesting to see other animals methods of discipline. Some are not much different from our non-maniacal disciplinary spanking.

 

Napi, Yung, why don't you stick to whatever works for your kids? Some kids (like my brother) were perfect little kids who are on the straight and narrow, while some were destructive little demon spawn (much like me) who need some steering in the right direction, which led to many spanks after I didn't bother being obedient. You don't need to follow what works for others, just what works for you. And obviously you're not going to be causing irreparable harm to them unless you go batshit insane on them and make them eat the soap and wash it down with pine-sol.

[Yung]

See, that's the kind of thought process that should go into discipline for children as well.  Some kind of result that will cause them to think more carefully about what they do.  Also talking through things so that they understand the "whys" behind what you are saying, thus building their understanding for what is right and wrong.

 

 

We probably should have mentioned somewhere that we employ many other steps and alternatives before reaching results such as spanking. It's really not like one of them shoves the other out of the way and we drag them off to spank them.

 

Our normal methods are as follows:

 

Reminder about proper behavior > Reminder about what will happen if misbehavior continues > time-out > sent to bed > OTHER punishment (Spanking, washing mouth out with soap, etc.)

 

It takes an awful lot for the situation to digress to the point of the OTHER punishment. Some other things that happens are that they get grounded from the t.v./xbox. They don't actually play on the xbox but losing the t.v. privileges has proven to be a dissuading factor.

 

We have a ton of discussion regarding appropriate behavior, being good examples for their sisters, reminding them that the bad behavior their sister just did will get them in trouble if they do it as well, and so on... I mean we talk about it so much I don't know why they can't quote it like scripture at this point.