20 replies to this topic

[Indigo]

So my dad got his third felony last night. His current rap sheet...

 

 

PC 273.5 Felony

 

CORPORAL INJURY - SPOUSE OR COHABITANT

 

PC 13700 Felony

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DEFINITION

 

PC 591 Felony

DESTRUCTION OF TELEGRAPH,TELEPHONE, OR ELECTRIC LINES

 

PC 148(A)(1) Misdemeanor

RESISTING OR OBSTRUCTING PUBLIC/PEACE OFFICER/ER TECHNICIAN

 

He hit his girlfriend over the head, making her black out, there was blood everywhere, and he was a drunken mess all night. Renee {his gf} told me he had drank nearly an entire bottle of tequila, so he was completely plastered.

 

I am deeply saddened by this, as he just recently got a DUI and was 3 times over the legal limit. He hasn't learned anything from those fucking "classes" because he's an idiot and thinks "he's invincible". Seriously. He'd been in jail for 2 weeks and he STILL apparently doesn't give a shit.

 

When I came over recently, to watch movies, he had already been drinking the whole day, and wasn't sober by the time dinner was done and we started watching it. It's maddening. We ended up fighting and I felt like my brain was going to explode I was so pissed. Then I realized I was trying to reason with a drunk, and gave up. I never get pissed like that. I was just in complete shock and disbelief. I come over ONCE, and he still has to act like a dick. 

 

Not to mention his friends don't call anymore. That's because very time he gets invited somewhere he ends up being the embarrassing drunk. Apparently someone Renee knew wanted to send him to the hospital because she thought he was going to drink himself to death.

 

I am going to tell his sister about this, because I can't stand to have him fucking up his life constantly. This is the same dad that read me stories and took me on adventures in the creek and taught me about insects and animals. I can't believe it. I'm not going to be speaking to him until he figures his shit out. I am so hurt that he is selfish enough to do this to everyone and himself.

 

In the end, I'm not asking for a pity party. I don't really have anyone I want to vent to. It just fucking sucks and I wish this wasn't happening right now. I can't handle the stress. But in the end, I know that I can't care, because it'll only hurt me more. Fuck him and his bullshit, if he wants to change and quit being a selfish ass, then fine, I'll come over every once and awhile. But right now, no thanks. He doesn't deserve his daughter anymore. I've already done too much just by giving a shit.

[Boggart]

Well this is... personal.

[Yung]

That was kinda insensitive Boggy.

 

 

 

I haven't dealt with a parent having done this so I can't sympathize but growing up we had plenty of family friends that would go on 'vacation' for 120s rather frequently. It is unfortunate and really puts a damper on family events like birthdays and holidays.

 

So I empathize with you and I hope that your dad gets his bearings soon.

[Indigo]

That was kinda insensitive Boggy.

 

 

 

I haven't dealt with a parent having done this so I can't sympathize but growing up we had plenty of family friends that would go on 'vacation' for 120s rather frequently. It is unfortunate and really puts a damper on family events like birthdays and holidays.

 

So I empathize with you and I hope that your dad gets his bearings soon.

Thanks. I guess it's all these woman hormones making me stress out, but really, I've been dealing with this my whole life. It's funny because he's not even a bad person. He's nice, sociable {even sober} and the company he just got hired at loves him. Unfortunately, they also know he's going to be in jail for at least the weekend, so I doubt they'll keep him there.

 

I mean, it's his third felony. I have half a mind to tell them not to give him a job just so he can learn. He'd just called me to say how proud of himself he was on Monday. 

Well this is... personal.

Yeah well, I've read my share of more personal things than this on NC. So I figured I'd have my own corner to cry in.

[persimmonz]

I feel ya, bud. I have my own alcoholic/druggie dad who I haven't spoken too since I was young.

You're right about the arguing. Trying to talk to a drunk is like trying to talk to a brick wall- it's not going to get you anywhere.

Hopefully he gets the help he needs so that you don't have to go down that route, it's sad losing a parent.

[Indigo]

I feel ya, bud. I have my own alcoholic/druggie dad who I haven't spoken too since I was young.

You're right about the arguing. Trying to talk to a drunk is like trying to talk to a brick wall- it's not going to get you anywhere.

Hopefully he gets the help he needs so that you don't have to go down that route, it's sad losing a parent.

That's exactly what I'm afraid of. It's a case in insanity it seems like. As soon as I turned 18 things just got worse and worse. I'm 20 years old now, and I've never seen him this bad before. I used to just be annoying and obnoxious, now he's getting abusive. Although, admittedly  his girlfriend has struck him in the past, and I knew he never did in retaliation. But obviously when he's intoxicated his normal inhibitions aren't in effect.

 

It makes me sad that he is losing his friends over this. I'm just hoping his family is willing to help, because pretty much everyone has always been in "fuck him" mode. Which I get, but he needs to seriously be pushed into rehab or something.

[Eefi]

When you're a real adult, even the family can't do much except for caring. And if the person that's being cared for doesn't give a shit, it won't make a difference. As with most psychological problems you can only change it yourself, so in this case I really think therapy would be the best. Altough no one can force your dad to do this..

[Boggart]

That was kinda insensitive Boggy.

 

 

 

I haven't dealt with a parent having done this so I can't sympathize but growing up we had plenty of family friends that would go on 'vacation' for 120s rather frequently. It is unfortunate and really puts a damper on family events like birthdays and holidays.

 

So I empathize with you and I hope that your dad gets his bearings soon.

It wasn't supposed to be insensitive. I basically would have just said the same thing. I can't really relate but I have generic support and empathy.

We were all thinking it and I doubt many people can relate in general.

But I apologize if it seemed harsh I guess o.o

[Yung]

It wasn't supposed to be insensitive. I basically would have just said the same thing. I can't really relate but I have generic support and empathy.

We were all thinking it and I doubt many people can relate in general.

But I apologize if it seemed harsh I guess o.o

 

Yeah it is one of those things that's kinda hard to put yourself in the shoes of the person experiencing it. The best thing I think we can do is be supportive and be available to be vented at.

[Jhud0ra]

We were all thinking it and I doubt many people can relate in general.

 

Speak for yourself? I hope few can relate but I know I can.

 

Sorry you're going through this, girl. Accepting that reasoning with a drunk is futile helped me sort of tame my rage at the violent alcoholic in my life. You seem to have your head on fairly straight, so good for you for not letting your dad's foolishness rub off on you.

[Yung]

Speak for yourself? I hope few can relate but I know I can.

 

Sorry you're going through this, girl. Accepting that reasoning with a drunk is futile helped me sort of tame my rage at the violent alcoholic in my life. You seem to have your head on fairly straight, so good for you for not letting your dad's foolishness rub off on you.

 

Not allowing negative influences to dictate the person you are is definitely a good thing.

[WharfRat]

Sorry to hear about this....

 

I hope your state is not like Texas... We have a three strike rule here and on your third felony you end up doing a LOT of time. (I have an uncle who got well over twenty years for his third DUI and just got out a year ago.... He ended up with another charge against him (domestic abuse or violence or something similar) and was just sentenced to life in prison.)

 

Best of luck to you!

[BesolHut]

Remember its your dad that's the problem not you.

 

He chooses to drink, bottom line!

[StewieGriffin]

Stay strong girl.

 

imo there is always a cause relating to a problem. Reading from your post it seems like he suddenly changed into a whole new person, from a loving father to a drinking/violence etc person. something maybe causing him to become the man he is now and it may help if you can understand why and the root to this problem. I know all these are very personal matters so i'm only guessing (i'm sorry if i'm totally wrong here) that something really bad happen before he changed. perhaps work stress/debt etc.

 

but still he is your dad and that doesnt change in anyway. though it is tough but YOLO (the actual meaning that i believe it should mean) and you will only have one dad in this life time (deserving or not im not in the position to judge). he cant think straight right now may be due to the influence of alcohol making him violence and such. my best suggestion to you will be not to give up and perhaps approach a professional counselor and find the root of his current habit. dont lose your dad due to alcohol. hope you can stay strong and hope things will be back to normal for you soon.

 

Stay strong.

[Indigo]

Stay strong girl.

 

imo there is always a cause relating to a problem. Reading from your post it seems like he suddenly changed into a whole new person, from a loving father to a drinking/violence etc person. something maybe causing him to become the man he is now and it may help if you can understand why and the root to this problem. I know all these are very personal matters so i'm only guessing (i'm sorry if i'm totally wrong here) that something really bad happen before he changed. perhaps work stress/debt etc.

 

but still he is your dad and that doesnt change in anyway. though it is tough but YOLO (the actual meaning that i believe it should mean) and you will only have one dad in this life time (deserving or not im not in the position to judge). he cant think straight right now may be due to the influence of alcohol making him violence and such. my best suggestion to you will be not to give up and perhaps approach a professional counselor and find the root of his current habit. dont lose your dad due to alcohol. hope you can stay strong and hope things will be back to normal for you soon.

 

Stay strong.

Thanks for the post. Turns out they made his felony a misdemeanor, even though he is currently ineligible for bail, the jail website says he could get out tomorrow.

 

I'm pissed. He says I'm "20 and don't know shit about life". Kind of funny when you're on the outside looking in. That and when his girlfriend asked if he's ready to get sober, her said, "Eventually". Which I know means "No, not really, fuck you bitch I'm invincible". It's sad. He officially loves he bottle more than his family, and I can't help but not give a shit.

 

Luckily, working and retail therapy will help, and next week I'll have a bunch of goodies at my doorstep to open and enjoy. But until then, sometimes it feels like death, in that I've completely lost him. I seem to do nothing but make him mad when I talk about his OBVIOUS problems.

 

But I digress. Again, thanks for your input.

Speak for yourself? I hope few can relate but I know I can.

 

Sorry you're going through this, girl. Accepting that reasoning with a drunk is futile helped me sort of tame my rage at the violent alcoholic in my life. You seem to have your head on fairly straight, so good for you for not letting your dad's foolishness rub off on you.

Thanks. I like to think that way humbly, but I've grown up with a functioning alcoholic and my father. So I've seen some shit, haha. It just seems to hit the fan more often now that I'm older. It seems like they're getting crazier as I get older. Fuck, I don't even want to be 21 because I feel so damn old every year.

It wasn't supposed to be insensitive. I basically would have just said the same thing. I can't really relate but I have generic support and empathy.

We were all thinking it and I doubt many people can relate in general.

But I apologize if it seemed harsh I guess o.o

Don't even worry about it. To each their own. I'm not trippin about it. You do your own thing, and that's fine/

Here is his current charges and other things I found on the website. It's open to the public.

 

If anyone knows why he's ineligible for bail but his projected release date is tomorrow, please let me know. I don't really understand how that works at all.

[redlion]

From the looks of it, he's ineligible for bail on this charge because it's a class A misdemeanor. Usually bail is tied to felonies.

Unless I'm totally reading it wrong. Very possible.

[Hummingway]

I hope he gets better soon :\ Stay strong, okay? I wish I could help in any way..

[Galadriel]

New high score?

[Indigo]

From the looks of it, he's ineligible for bail on this charge because it's a class A misdemeanor. Usually bail is tied to felonies.

Unless I'm totally reading it wrong. Very possible.

Makes sense, because they did bring it down o a misdemeanor and his girlfriend is crying her eyes off so he can be released. But if he fucks around again he'll go to jail for a year for sure. Right now it's "up to a year" and his next court date is the 28th of June.

 

I am doing better, but now that he is released, I can't really talk to his girlfriend without him being in the background. Fuck that. Luckily I have work and video games to keep me busy. Mainly cleaning my room. And spending all my savings in the first month of summer. 

[Resin]

Wow, sorry to hear of this.. Hope all is well and gets Better

[Fang11]

I'm very sorry to see this :c 

Remember, It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.