Personally, I don't think I've ever felt at a disadvantage purely by way of being a woman but then I work in PR within the Arts, which are rather female-friendly sectors. I'm paid just as well as male colleagues at my level, I was promoted when the other candidate for promotion was a man. I have very successful female friends in finance, law, engineering and IT who I know have found it harder at times; partly from the intimidation of a predominantly male environment where they've felt their bodies are scrutinised and put up with a fine line between banter and inappropriate conduct, partly because they're not forging relationships on the golf course. By the same token, I know men who work in the arts and education who regularly suffer the brunt of it for the crimes of "men" from large groups of middle aged women in their office, accusations to HR about the smallest of comments/actions that would be ignored from women, and aren't there for girls' nights out or childrens' playdates.
To me, feminism is about choice and opportunity, rather than entitlement. Women all over the world should have the ability to be educated to the same standard in the same disciplines as men, if that's what they want. They should then be able to pursue the same careers and have the same criteria applied to them when applying for jobs and promotion. At no point, should anyone feel or be threatened because they are a woman. That doesn't mean men can't be better than women in certain situations. I'm very against positive discrimination and "token" women, unless there's a specific need for demographic representation. The BBC recently announced that their comedy panel shows would no longer feature all-male line ups. There's often talk of the need for more women on the board of directors of companies. Both of these are great steps for women in their respective fields but really, should only be awarded if a woman is a better candidate than a man. I don't want to be denied something in favour of a man if gender is the only thing separating us and that is the reasoning used but I don't want to be awarded it either. If a man is better than me at something, then I certainly don't want to be awarded it. It's the opportunity to do something rather than the final result that's important to me.
Feminism is sometimes difficult for me at times because it's been misappropriated by so many people as a form of attack against a) men and b) the choices other women make. With a), attacking or belittling another group does very little to show how you want and deserve equality in my eyes. With b), nobody should be criticised for not taking an opportunity, or for choosing what would have happened without that opportunity, as long as it is that woman's choice, free of pressure. A woman should be able to climb the ranks of any career she chooses as long as at every stage of that career, she's the best candidate available and has been presented with the same opportunities as men to become the best candidate. If she chooses to have babies and give up her career and stay at home with them forever, she's not somehow letting down women everywhere, she was presented with a choice and she chose her family.
The only dark spot of my wedding day was a friend telling me how disappointed she was with me for taking my husband's name. She said (angrily) that I wasn't property, being passed from my father to my husband, I don't need my husband's name to show he owns me, I don't need to be looked after, I don't need to give up my identity just to be his wife. But the thing is, we're bound together. We're a unit, a family. I didn't have a family when I got married at 20 and I didn't want to be alone. And when we have children, I wanted us to all share that name as a bigger unit. Yes, he could have taken my name, or we could have double barrelled but I like how his surname sounds with my name. I love, respect and admire him more than anything in this whole world and I was and am proud to so clearly be attached to him. My maiden name is now a middle name. It's a trivial example but shows the disservice people calling themselves feminists do to themselves by criticising anything but their way. If you associate all those connotations with changing your name when you marry, great, keep your maiden name. Make up a new name. Do whatever you like. I won't judge you and really don't care. You have the right, just as I have the right to change mine, by choice.
It's much like make-up, body hair, clothing, weight...a bunch of other issues. If you don't want to shave your legs,or wear make-up or be a size 8, good on you. Nobody should be forced to conform to stereotypes or media/peer pressure or ideals of beauty. A woman shouldn't feel like she needs to pretend she suffers from neck-down alopecia, or spend her life in search of the best mascara or treat food as a sin. I don't judge anyone for doing any of those things although I pity anyone who feels they really have no choice but to live their life that way. Anyone who wants to do all of those things can; but like I said in the TLDR version, there's a difference between doing something because you want to and because you feel you have to, but a lot of the time it can be difficult to know why we do things. But then there are increasing ideals that men feel they must conform to in terms of grooming and body image as well, so it's not just a feminist issue.
I don't really like to consider topics a feminist issue and fight for it under that banner - it's not that we need to protect women from sexual abuse, domestic violence, eating disorders furthered by media pressure etc, we need to protect everyone from issues that are more common with women but can happen to anyone. The acts themselves are a problem, not that they occur to women. By promoting any serious issue as an issue against women, you risk further marginalising the fact that it can happen to men, which makes it harder for those affected to speak out which is a poor sort of equality. Arguably yes, it's to do with views of a man's role in society (or their role in relation to women) and so if women were viewed as equal then there wouldn't be the stigma of a sort of role reversal. I guess because feminism for the most part needed to raise women up to the level of men, less thought is given to equality being needed the other way.
So yes, I am a feminist but I have a great deal of understanding for those reluctant to label themselves as one because it's a term that's bandied about and has a lot of negative connotations that do the actual concept a disservice.