Joe's Spoon of Dork?
Difference is, the people reviewing the applications clearly outlined the requirements.
The people reviewing/voting the Retired nominations did not.
Retired has always been (and continues to be) a rank for people who stop trying. If you're still here posting out of habit after a few years, being relevant and talking with older members as well as newbies, you get it. It's not a mystery, but it's also not as strait forward as Advanced+ (which essentially a robot could nominate and vote on). Retired has a large subjective quality to the voting process, and Private does as well, to a lesser extent. Simply meeting the required criteria is a start - not a guarantee that you'll get the rank. Someone who posts 3 semi-spam posts a day for a year would have over 1000 posts and time in rank, but probably wouldn't be promoted unless their posting merited the reward.
Ow, 1000 posts is going to take a long time for me but I can wait.
This is exactly the attitude we're looking for. New members should recognize that this rank is a medium to long term goal. Older members should recognize that this is not exactly the same Private you know and love. If you're old enough to actually remember Private, you can check the retired thread for more discussion on that point.