43 replies to this topic

[Boggart]

I'm basically making this topic to help y'all out reach 100 without spamming like me.

 

So basically, age old question; can ex's be friends? Yes, or no, or does it depend on why you broke up ?

 

I personally believe that ex's can't be friends. Not if you force it. If you break up, then get over each other, then happen to run into each other or it's been a really long time, then yes, maybe you can be friends without it being weird.

 

Currently going through a break-up-ish situation where the other wants to stay friends and I'm not really having it. But i'm trying. It's not easy though.

 

Share opinions and/or stories or just advice.

[Speedracer]

Yes as long as it wasn't a serious or long relationship. I have an ex that i dated for like a week and a half when I was much younger that I consider like a sister to me. My last two ex's that I dated on more serious terms both ended well, but I have absolutely no desire to see them or communicate with them and honestly try to avoid them.

[Emily]

It depends on how long you dated or how it ended, I guess. 

 

There are a few exes that I can never ever in 100 million and a half years be friends with but there are a couple that I'm fine with. Also, being friends with exes isn't weird for me either... I mean, I don't know if it's awkward for anyone else. I just don't get very attached.

[Keil]

I'm going to give you a short version right now and a long version tomorrow because it's 2:18 AM and I just finished a chunk of manuscript and if I don't type this basic skeleton now, I'll forget what to write tomorrow.

 

1. Yes, but the jokes among the circle of friends get touchy.

2. Friends still ship us (the breakup wasn't that bad, so it may be different to what other people consider as bad break ups)

3. Advice: Don't act as if the breakup/relationship never happened if you plan to be friends. Get the awkward out in tolerable amounts. Laugh, talk, and and embrace the past with honesty (eww, that was cliche and cheesy).

4. Post relationship booty calls are complicated.

[Boggart]

Maybe someone can explain why i think this way:

 

When I'm dating someone, they're obviously close enough to me to be an extremely close friend

 

But when we're broken up, they're nothing to me. I don't want anything to do with them. As if the "Friendship" aspect of the relationship is completely worthless.

 

yet if I lose a friend, I would be devastated.

I'm going to give you a short version right now and a long version tomorrow because it's 2:18 AM and I just finished a chunk of manuscript and if I don't type this basic skeleton now, I'll forget what to write tomorrow.

 

1. Yes, but the jokes among the circle of friends get touchy.

2. Friends still ship us (the breakup wasn't that bad, so it may be different to what other people consider as bad break ups)

3. Advice: Don't act as if the breakup/relationship never happened if you plan to be friends. Get the awkward out in tolerable amounts. Laugh, talk, and and embrace the past with honesty (eww, that was cliche and cheesy).

4. Post relationship booty calls are complicated.

post relationships booty calls sound like the messiest thing in the world

[Keil]

post relationships booty calls sound like the messiest thing in the world

 You'd be surprised what gets done when people aren't afraid of being honest with each other and don't avoid each other at every possible opportunity, but it's still very delicate to execute well.

 

I'm going to bed.

 

Peace.

[Boggart]

 You'd be surprised what gets done when people aren't afraid of being honest with each other and don't avoid each other at every possible opportunity, but it's still very delicate to execute well.

 

I'm going to bed.

 

Peace.

peace my brutha from a potential 1.6 billion other muthas

[arcanum]

From what I've seen, I'd say no. I currently have two friends who dated just a few months and tried being friends and it didn't really turn out that great. It's hard cause they talk crap about each other behind each other's back/around me. I like to stay neutral and I usually don't say anything or I come back with "well I like blah blah blah about this person"

However, no one has the same experiences/situations and I've heard of it working out for some *shrug* so who am I to say?

[Maha]

I think if you can stay 'friends' with an EX they were never really anything to you... Its a bit odd to explain from my point of view but basically a person in my life who'm I was dating at one point in life is a friend now, but I don't regard her as an ex or the time we were 'dating' as a legitimate thing. 

I do think that if a couple end the relationship on more positive terms like several people I know have, can kind of stay friends but from what i've seen they either end up never talking to each other again or get back together xD

If my partner and I ever split up I don't know, I'd fight to fix the problems and try my best But to be friends it still takes 2 to work xD

 

[Doomsday]

How would you feel being introduced to your new partners ex?

 

To me it's like, hey this is one of my good friends, we used to fuck and tell each other we loved each other more than friends but now magically we are just friends.  I wont do it to my partner once the relationship is done, then the relationship is done and losses should be cut.

[zleepy]

I guess it would depend on the nature of your relationship, how long it lasted, and so on. But in most cases I wouldn't think so. It'd be pretty awkward at first but given time could possibly work out.

[Eefi]

I know quite a few people that are on good terms with their exes. It's not friends who see each other every day so what Keil said about awkwardness between other friends isn't there really.

I also think it depends on how the relationship ended.

[Grandmaster]

I think it's quite difficult, no matter how you broke up. Your new boyfriend/girlfriend may be jealous and worried that you may rekindle love with your ex every time you are somehow too close to your ex. This will make future relationships quite strained.

[5MGEDOHC]

I think it all depends. I'm really good friends with my most serious ex and all the other ones that werent so serious at all I really dont care for them at all haha. I think its because my ex and and I were really good friends before we dated so after it ended, it was pretty easy to back to the way it was.

[NapisaurusRex]

Me and Yung won't be friends after we break up.

[Boggart]

Me and Yung won't be friends after we break up.

when? o.o if? o.o

[Rocket]

I think it all depends on the break-up and the circumstances of the break-up. I couldn't be friends with any of my exes for sure, just because I either broke up with them because I didn't like them anymore or they broke my heart and I'll never forgive them, and I'm very sensitive.

 

My parents are pretty good friends (and their spouses get along as well) and they've been separated for 25 years, so if you're older and you have kids sometimes it can work.

[Boggart]

I think it all depends on the break-up and the circumstances of the break-up. I couldn't be friends with any of my exes for sure, just because I either broke up with them because I didn't like them anymore or they broke my heart and I'll never forgive them, and I'm very sensitive.

 

My parents are pretty good friends (and their spouses get along as well) and they've been separated for 25 years, so if you're older and you have kids sometimes it can work.

I am friend with 0 of my ex's. One was my best friend of 5 years but when we broke up I think they decided they didn't want me in their life anymore. Fair enough.

 

One was a casual friend but he hurt me beyond me ever wanting to talk or see him ever again.

 

The rest I wasn't friends with beforehand so I saw no reason to put in the effort to be their friends. Although one I wouldn't mind being friends with, but I'm not exactly going to bust my back to make it happen.

[NapisaurusRex]

I'm friends with 1 of my exes, but I think it's because he's high all the time and our relationship was over like 7 years ago.

[DonValentino]

I'm friends with 1 of my exes, but I think it's because he's high all the time and our relationship was over like 7 years ago.

 

Sounds like it's time to rekindle. 

[NapisaurusRex]

Sounds like it's time to rekindle. 

No.

[Sweeney]

It depends on the person.

Obviously exes can be friends, but that doesn't mean you could be friends with all of them. And if you don't want to be friends, then it ain't gonna happen until you do.

[Tetiel]

I can. There are exceptions, though. I've only ever been in three very serious relationships. I'm starting a fourth - maybe. I was best friends with my ex-husband before anything romantic ever happened between us. I'm still best friends with him despite everything that happened between us. I disclose this in my relationships that yes, my best friend is an ex-lover, but he's also 2000 miles away and neither of us would ever want to go back to each other. We are still a big part of each others lives, though, and are always there for each other when the shit hits the fan. We know that we will always have each others support. It took months before we were really able to talk to each other again after the separation and I think it was after both of us were in another relationship.

 

I am also now friends with a more recent ex. It's going to be difficult for me because this one really, really broke my heart, but I think I can deal with it. There's always a little worry involved - does he want to be friends because he wants to get back together? Time will tell, but I currently have absolutely no romantic feelings for him and I don't see the harm in it, even if it sometimes saddens me a little bit. I still do love and care for him very much.

[Frizzle]

when? o.o if? o.o

 

 

Every relationships ends in one of three ways.

 

Breaking up

Marriage

Death