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Can Ex's ever be friends?

kate nudes 100 posts kate is my ex ex 100 post that is

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#26 Kat

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Posted 06 May 2014 - 01:46 PM

x



#27 Dan

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Posted 06 May 2014 - 01:59 PM

I haven't remained friends with any previous exes, so no, I don't think I could do it in the future. Then again, all my previous relationships have ended badly  :S The last relationship I ended nothing happened, neither of us cheated or anything, it just wasn't going anywhere and I was bored of him. He still went crazy psycho stalker on me.. so I'm really turned off with ever being friends with any exes now or in the future.

 

You plan on having exes in the future?  :huh: :p



#28 Kat

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Posted 06 May 2014 - 02:01 PM

You plan on having exes in the future?  :huh:  :p

 

Not if you play your cards right :p



#29 Veggie

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Posted 06 May 2014 - 02:04 PM

eh, i don't think that ex's can be friends.

i've tried it multiple times, and it didn't work out.

things get weird. or feelings start to come back that you don't want.

life is hard. ;(



#30 Boggart

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 09:15 AM

I'm not currently friends with any REAL exes. I have friends I've had flings with in the past though? If that counts. 
I'm also not enemies with any exes, I've just moved on with my life and so have they and let's be real, I don't have many friends outside of the internet these days. :p

 

If I ever hook up with anyone, it's usually because I'm rather disinterested in them. If I like them I usually hold out. That's what The Secret told me to do or somethihg


Not if you play your cards right :p

Diffuse responsibility. Well played ;) jk jk jk



#31 HiMyNameIsNick

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 09:59 AM

I don't think so, I always move on.

Plus, I can't stand my ex's.



#32 Boggart

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 10:51 AM

I don't think so, I always move on.

Plus, I can't stand my ex's.

Is it because they're ex's you can't stand them or were you just dating people you couldn't stand? :p

I only can't stand one because I was blinded by love when really he was an idiot/asshole. The rest I just feel it's not worth the grief but it's not like I dislike them as individuals.



#33 Mishelle

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 11:13 AM

I've never seen it happen. I talk to a couple of my exes but they're not really friends, more like acquaintances. 



#34 Cupcakes

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 01:29 PM

I'm friends with about three of my exes. One of them is happily married, and the other is in and out of a half way house for his alcoholism. ;) 

 

When I end a relationship with somebody it's because we just weren't compatible intimately, but that doesn't mean I don't still enjoy having them around!

 

My last boyfriend, though... ugh. I wouldn't be sad if he disappeared. 



#35 Boggart

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 01:33 PM

I'm friends with about three of my exes. One of them is happily married, and the other is in and out of a half way house for his alcoholism. ;)

 

When I end a relationship with somebody it's because we just weren't compatible intimately, but that doesn't mean I don't still enjoy having them around!

 

My last boyfriend, though... ugh. I wouldn't be sad if he disappeared. 

Does that mean the only reason you break up because being intimate wasn't good? Or do you mean intimate as in a general relationship?



#36 Trichomes

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 02:51 PM

I've only been in two serious relationships. I was 15 when I dated my first boyfriend and it took me forever to get over him because I spent months trying to win him back rather than moving on. I was clingy, obsessive, texted him constantly...basically a crazy stalker ex-girlfriend. We were part of the same circle of friends, which is how we met in the first place, so he was always around after he dumped me. Surprisingly, he was never an asshole about it, but things were really awkward between us and we did not remain friends. It was a learning experience.

 

My second (and current) boyfriend and I were close friends before we got together. We've always had a complicated relationship. He broke up with me after dating for about a year, and I was so devastated I had to beg my mom not to leave me alone because I was sure I would try to kill myself. Matt was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. We had very little contact for almost a year after our breakup because it was easier for me to pretend he didn't exist than accept that he didn't love me anymore. I tried to distract myself (and make him jealous) by doing whatever I could to get attention from other guys, and it worked for a while.

 

I honestly didn't think we would ever get back together. It was about 10 months before we started hanging out again, and there was always this painful tension between us when we did. I knew we couldn't just be friends. I don't remember the details now, but I think I told him I still had feelings for him, and he said he was still physically attracted to me. We ended up hooking up, which led to us getting back together.

 

We've "broken up" a few times since then, but never like that first time. As much as we've fought and I've questioned whether I can commit to just one person for the rest of my life, I cannot imagine a future without Matt. We've known each other for so long and been through so much together that it would feel much more like a divorce than a breakup if one of us ended our relationship. I don't think I could ever talk to him, let alone be friends with him, because it would just hurt too fucking much.

 

Typing this up made me want to cry  :(



#37 Cupcakes

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 03:13 PM

Does that mean the only reason you break up because being intimate wasn't good? Or do you mean intimate as in a general relationship?

There are different types of relationships that you have with everybody in your life. I have a very close intimate/sexual/personal relationship with my boyfriend. He's my companion, my best friend, and my lover. However, my very close friends and I also share a very intimate and personal relationship, but it's not nearly as deep as my relationship with my boyfriend. 

 

I suppose I mean we suit each other better in our relationship as close friends than we did as lovers, whether or not the sex was great (or bad!)



#38 Boggart

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 03:28 PM

I've only been in two serious relationships. I was 15 when I dated my first boyfriend and it took me forever to get over him because I spent months trying to win him back rather than moving on. I was clingy, obsessive, texted him constantly...basically a crazy stalker ex-girlfriend. We were part of the same circle of friends, which is how we met in the first place, so he was always around after he dumped me. Surprisingly, he was never an asshole about it, but things were really awkward between us and we did not remain friends. It was a learning experience.

 

My second (and current) boyfriend and I were close friends before we got together. We've always had a complicated relationship. He broke up with me after dating for about a year, and I was so devastated I had to beg my mom not to leave me alone because I was sure I would try to kill myself. Matt was not only my boyfriend, but my best friend. We had very little contact for almost a year after our breakup because it was easier for me to pretend he didn't exist than accept that he didn't love me anymore. I tried to distract myself (and make him jealous) by doing whatever I could to get attention from other guys, and it worked for a while.

 

I honestly didn't think we would ever get back together. It was about 10 months before we started hanging out again, and there was always this painful tension between us when we did. I knew we couldn't just be friends. I don't remember the details now, but I think I told him I still had feelings for him, and he said he was still physically attracted to me. We ended up hooking up, which led to us getting back together.

 

We've "broken up" a few times since then, but never like that first time. As much as we've fought and I've questioned whether I can commit to just one person for the rest of my life, I cannot imagine a future without Matt. We've known each other for so long and been through so much together that it would feel much more like a divorce than a breakup if one of us ended our relationship. I don't think I could ever talk to him, let alone be friends with him, because it would just hurt too fucking much.

 

Typing this up made me want to cry  :(

huggggggggggg

 

I don't think I've ever dated anyone who became my best friend. Yeesh I don't know how I could handle that.



#39 krigz

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 03:45 PM

My ex is basically my closet friend at the moment. Its fine but when we do have problems its mostly due to the fact that we are ex's.



#40 Boggart

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 03:49 PM

My ex is basically my closet friend at the moment. Its fine but when we do have problems its mostly due to the fact that we are ex's.

It might also be easier if this is mutual; my ex's have all found me closer to them than they were to me. If that makes sense.



#41 DasBear

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 04:14 PM

Hmm, I'd say it depends on the length of the relationship. Was it a week or a month, those are pretty short and I wouldn't really consider it serious. Perhaps also how it ended: Cheating, Abuse, Mutual, Parents....

 

I'm friends with a few of my ex's, mainly because I never slept with any of them while we dated. I think that plays a huge roll in the re-friending situation. I couldn't re-friend a female ex, because I was still in love with her to this day. I say, if the relationship was toxic, the friendship might be too. If it was short and sweet, things ended on mutual terms. Then it sounds like you make better friends than partners. 



#42 Trichomes

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 04:33 PM

huggggggggggg

 

I don't think I've ever dated anyone who became my best friend. Yeesh I don't know how I could handle that.

 

Thanks <3

 

I didn't want to get into too much detail because I would have gotten off topic, but we were best friends before we became a couple. I actually met Matt before my ex and I started dating. We were both awkward, shy, and totally inexperienced relationship-wise. We liked each other, but he met someone else shortly before my ex and I got together. It was when my ex and I broke up (and he and his ex-girlfriend broke up) that we really started spending a lot of time together. At one point, he actually told me he was interested in me and I turned him down because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I almost viewed him as a brother, except I'd get really jealous whenever he talked to or dated other girls, and I eventually had to tell him I had romantic feelings for him.

 

Obviously we've gotten even closer over the years, but I definitely cared a lot about him before I was ever in love with him, or even interested in him sexually, which I think has shaped our relationship. I don't think our relationship would be what it is today if we hadn't gotten to know each other as friends first.



#43 Boggart

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Posted 07 May 2014 - 04:40 PM

Thanks <3

 

I didn't want to get into too much detail because I would have gotten off topic, but we were best friends before we became a couple. I actually met Matt before my ex and I started dating. We were both awkward, shy, and totally inexperienced relationship-wise. We liked each other, but he met someone else shortly before my ex and I got together. It was when my ex and I broke up (and he and his ex-girlfriend broke up) that we really started spending a lot of time together. At one point, he actually told me he was interested in me and I turned him down because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. I almost viewed him as a brother, except I'd get really jealous whenever he talked to or dated other girls, and I eventually had to tell him I had romantic feelings for him.

 

Obviously we've gotten even closer over the years, but I definitely cared a lot about him before I was ever in love with him, or even interested in him sexually, which I think has shaped our relationship. I don't think our relationship would be what it is today if we hadn't gotten to know each other as friends first.

That sounds both amazing and horrifying. To potentially lose someone like that (i'm thinking friends that I have for whom I feel that way) would be devastating. But at the same time sounds kinda awesome if it works out. yeesh. maybe i should be friends with more people. Yuck, friendship.



#44 Lightsora65

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Posted 09 May 2014 - 02:30 AM

Guess it depens on how you broke up. Personally i can´t be friends with ex´s. It is just awkward spending time together. Its even more awkward if they or you have a new lover

but hey thats just my opinion





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