54 replies to this topic

[Kaddict]

I think that you're very confused about how a doctor is meant to convey information to the patient. Using terms that can introduce confusion or, as in this case, make a patient actively feel bad about their inability to breastfeed, is in no way an appropriate manner for a professional to talk to someone.

I don't know about how people talk where you are from, but saying it is a must where I live does not imply it is the only way to do things. "that movie is a must see" "you have to try this burger" are common phrases in my community. They do not imply force, but rather that it is something you would recommend to someone. Also, please, enroll in medical school. This is how you are supposed to talk to people. I wouldn't say this to women who can't breastfeed, obviously. But women who can, and choose not to need to have all the facts laid out on the table for them. This is a really, really basic standard communication for MDs. I have worked in hospitals and doctor's offices my whole life, and am training to become one. And yes, communication is a class. And yes, we have gone over how to handle such situations. The same goes for people who don't want to vaccinate their kids. You need to let them know the risks and benefits. It is your duty as a physician.

[NapisaurusRex]

I don't know about how people talk where you are from, but saying it is a must where I live does not imply it is the only way to do things. "that movie is a must see" "you have to try this burger" are common phrases in my community. They do not imply force, but rather that it is something you would recommend to someone. Also, please, enroll in medical school. This is how you are supposed to talk to people. I wouldn't say this to women who can't breastfeed, obviously. But women who can, and choose not to need to have all the facts laid out on the table for them. This is a really, really basic standard communication for MDs. I have worked in hospitals and doctor's offices my whole life, and am training to become one. And yes, communication is a class. And yes, we have gone over how to handle such situations. The same goes for people who don't want to vaccinate their kids. You need to let them know the risks and benefits. It is your duty as a physician.

I don't know how people talk where you are from, but I have three kids, lived in two states, and gone to various doctors with all of them. I have not once been told I 'must' breastfeed my kids, I 'must' vaccinate my kids, or that I 'must' do anything with them... I've always assumed it was because they were *my* kids. Oh, yeah, and none of those things are actually 'musts'. And if I had been told that any of these things were a 'must', then we would've left and found a new doctor. Not because I don't believe those things are important, but because I don't believe doctors should be mis-educating their patients or manipulating them into thinking things are mandatory when they actually aren't.

 

(I have been told things were 'musts' for me, you MUST have a pap smear before getting pills, even though you had one two months ago, etc. And I have refused to do those things and found a new doctor.)

[Kaddict]

I don't know how people talk where you are from, but I have three kids, lived in two states, and gone to various doctors with all of them. I have not once been told I 'must' breastfeed my kids, I 'must' vaccinate my kids, or that I 'must' do anything with them... I've always assumed it was because they were *my* kids. Oh, yeah, and none of those things are actually 'musts'. And if I had been told that any of these things were a 'must', then we would've left and found a new doctor. Not because I don't believe those things are important, but because I don't believe doctors should be mis-educating their patients or manipulating them into thinking things are mandatory when they actually aren't.

 

(I have been told things were 'musts' for me, you MUST have a pap smear before getting pills, even though you had one two months ago, etc. And I have refused to do those things and found a new doctor.)

Nap, thanks for your input. I agree with you on most of these points actually. I used the term must in a post like 2 pages ago. What I was conveying was it was super duper important. Me saying something is a must do about a topic is me saying it is really important. Me saying you must to a patient is a totally different connotation. I feel that doctors have the right to force people to comply with their standards, like in your instance a doctor saying "I won't rx such and such medication until you have your female exam" but you as the patient exercise your right to say "screw that, Ima find a doctor that doesn't have that policy." When I say something is a must do, must see, must try, I am not forcing or coercing anyone, simply conveying the importance, awesomeness, deliciousness of whatever I am talking about. I would never say "you must" do this with your kids (because of the different connotation) unless it is something that is obviously inherently required. ie You must not beat your children. Is this making any sense?

 

And woah, what doctor made you repeat your pap in 2 months??? I just reread the time-frame on that. That is insane? Why did they say they needed another? Did the first test not run correctly due to insufficient collection or something? Yikes.

 

EDIT: Looking back on my post where I said it was a must (bc it has been a long time) I was quoting someone who earlier said that breastfeeding was a must. I was referring to the timeframe of breastfeeding. She said 2 years, I said however long, but it is a must for the first 6months, because that is when babies need it most. 

Edited by Kaddict, 23 August 2014 - 10:18 AM.

[NapisaurusRex]

Nap, thanks for your input. I agree with you on most of these points actually. I used the term must in a post like 2 pages ago. What I was conveying was it was super duper important. Me saying something is a must do about a topic is me saying it is really important. Me saying you must to a patient is a totally different connotation. I feel that doctors have the right to force people to comply with their standards, like in your instance a doctor saying "I won't rx such and such medication until you have your female exam" but you as the patient exercise your right to say "screw that, Ima find a doctor that doesn't have that policy." When I say something is a must do, must see, must try, I am not forcing or coercing anyone, simply conveying the importance, awesomeness, deliciousness of whatever I am talking about. I would never say "you must" do this with your kids (because of the different connotation) unless it is something that is obviously inherently required. ie You must not beat your children. Is this making any sense?

 

And woah, what doctor made you repeat your pap in 2 months??? I just reread the time-frame on that. That is insane? Why did they say they needed another? Did the first test not run correctly due to insufficient collection or something? Yikes.

 

EDIT: essentially I just used the term must in that original post because I felt like saying "is really important for the situation" was implied by my context. Seriously, where I live, if you read my post, it would have been taken in that context.

Where do you live? Also, I'm not trying to pick on doctors or anything. I feel the same way about policemen who ask for id unnecessarily, employers who ask for social security numbers on job applications, and other things of that nature. The difference between mandatory and trying to make someone believe something is mandatory is very important to me, as are individual rights.

 

No, there was nothing wrong with my first one. I even did it with the same doctor. The only difference between the two is I had one while pregnant, I had my child, and then decided that I had wanted to be on birth control. They said that they needed to have a new one because I wanted to be on birth control, it was not part of the post-partum exam, and that was that. I decided that it was invasive and unnecessary and found a new doctor. Yes, doctors have the right to do whatever procedures they feel necessary and I understand that some things are required due for insurance purposes and not necessarily what the doctor feels is appropriate. I utilized my right as a patient to find a new doctor.

[Kaddict]

Where do you live? Also, I'm not trying to pick on doctors or anything. I feel the same way about policemen who ask for id unnecessarily, employers who ask for social security numbers on job applications, and other things of that nature. The difference between mandatory and trying to make someone believe something is mandatory is very important to me, as are individual rights.

 

No, there was nothing wrong with my first one. I even did it with the same doctor. The only difference between the two is I had one while pregnant, I had my child, and then decided that I had wanted to be on birth control. They said that they needed to have a new one because I wanted to be on birth control, it was not part of the post-partum exam, and that was that. I decided that it was invasive and unnecessary and found a new doctor. Yes, doctors have the right to do whatever procedures they feel necessary and I understand that some things are required due for insurance purposes and not necessarily what the doctor feels is appropriate. I utilized my right as a patient to find a new doctor.

That is weird. I can't imagine any reason why he would need another. I feel for some docs, because they are usually just trying to cover their butts, but at the same time, there gets a point that it starts going too far. You always need a urine sample before starting BCPs just to get an hCG test, and you dont cause a miscarriage of a baby no one knew was growing. But paps, what? Anyway, You did the right thing by finding a doc who would make you less uncomfortable. 

Anyway, like I said, my quote of must was absolutely taken out of context. It had just been so long, I assumed I had used it in the way people were implying I did.