53 replies to this topic

[Oktober]

I threw it away, because I hated bugs. It seemed vaguely familiar, but a talking caterpillar? I had no time for such tomfoolery. I put the laptop away - it wasn't even mine! - and tried to evade the room. I made it to the kitchen, where I saw, awaiting for me, an awesome box of pizza. Throwing all my caution to the wind, I ate a slice.

[Bee]

Unfortunately, what I'd taken for cheese wasn't actually cheese. I spat it out, tried another slice and spat that out too. I resigned myself to eating some dry toast. There was no butter in the fridge.

[masxed]

While I eat this nasty toast I hear a sound in the trash can. The caterpillar bursts out as a 5 foot tall butterfly and begins using what I thought was a vaporcig as a flute. "La,la,la,hoo, da, lum, brah brah brah, wut wut wut." That eerie sound rings loud noises are heard outside. I look out the window to see a ufo, and a slimy green guy who really does glow.

[Oktober]

Damn that nuclear power plant in my neighborhood! I knew it wasn't gonna be any good. It seemed like there had been yet another leak. I grabbed my phone and called 911, oblivious about the man I had left behind me. Nobody answered. I freaked out, grabbed a knife and went on a killing spree. 

[masxed]

 As I killed more people I began to get paranoid, what is going to happen to me? I ruffle about stabbing people with forks, planning trips to mexico, listening to emo music etc. At this very moment I trip and crack my skull on a concrete traffic cone.

[Keil]

It hurt like fuck. I rubbed my temples a bit and when I saw my palm, it was covered with red like a preschool kid attempting to finger paint for first time. I walked it off like a boss and went to Waser Lave's house.

[Speedracer]

Waser was a little pissed off at my blood dripping on his carpet, but do I really care?

[Bee]

It was a badger's den, unsurprisingly. When I got in however, it was bigger on the inside than the outside!

[DonValentino]

I didn't care, but his pet badger cared, it attacked me and started feeding on my blood, sticking its tongue into my open wounds

[Keil]

His pet badger nipped me at most. It was actually cute and endearing. I let it rest on my lap. I looked up and took a good look at Waser. My jaw dropped because he wasn't the Honey Badger shown in his profile pic. He was actually...

[Oktober]

He was actually wearing a mask. And a cape. I wasn't really able to determine his appearence, but one thing was certain..

[Bee]

He had horns. And paws for hands.

[CaptainDantes]

It was at this point that the badger started speaking english! He said...

[Romy]

"It's about time you wake up. We've surrounded your bed. We're really worried about how long you've been asleep."

[Keil]

The badger stuck out its two claws, each claw with a differently colored pill.

 

"The blue pill will make you forget what happened today and you will be safely transported to your home. The red pill will open you to unimaginable horrors but at the same time fill your head with all the world's knowledge. Which will you pick?"

[masxed]

The badger then picked the blue pill but was actually given the red pill.

[Speedracer]

I quickly swallow the pill and reality around me begins to shift

[Bee]

I knew what the neighbours had been up to last night, what their dog had had for dinner, and I remembered what happened the night before. It was...

[masxed]

I wet my bed.

[Rocket]

I was so terrified, I had never done anything like that before. The badge in my lap felt my mood change and leaped off my lap and across the room. The masked Waser was staring at me in disbelief as I started to recall and tell him what happened.

[Bee]

Waser was so shocked by my sordid tale, he took off his mask. He looked like...

[Canis]

An ageless Steve Buscemi. "Weird," I muttered, and when he inquired, I began to laugh nervously. Because, you see...

Edited by Fanged, 08 November 2014 - 03:50 PM.

[masxed]

I had a dream. Not like that Martin King guy. No I had a dream last night, one that is hard to explain. The dream had a wizard in it, and he was kind of hot. No homo but his long white beard was splendid. Did you hear about that weather? Meanwhile the badgers looks at me as if to say "WHAT THE FUCK, what's wrong with you boy?" and I look down at my feet in shame. Oh look a puddle, I'm stepping in a puddle, what the hell does this all mean? The badger says "calm down" as if to say "Are you out of your mind? You fucking lunatic?!"

[Canis]

But then I realized something. "HONEY BADGERS DON'T GIVE NO FUCKS!" I yell, as I punt the smallest badger out of the den.

[Keil]

Two small badgers appeared. I punted both of them. Now there are four and now I am worried. I punted all four anyway.