46 replies to this topic

[Boggart]

Okay so sorry for the really ambiguous title. I didn't know how to describe it easily.

 

Basically, in the past year, I have met three/four people who fit this sequence of events:

 

1) Long-term relationship  where they never posted ANYTHING on social media and barely ever talked about their partners.

2) End of long-term relationship on their terms (aka dumped the other person)

3) Dated someone else immediately/relatively quickly after

4) Post about them on social media constantly or talk about the other person constantly.

 

In other words, I have met quite a few people who used to say "Oh I never post about my relationships online. It's tacky and I like to keep my private life private." Which is fine, I'm the same way. But then they date someone new and all I see is #MCM, #WCW #Love Love my new boyfriend, change the profile picture, constant statuses, tweets etc. when they were NEVER that kind of person with other ex's.

 

In my opinion, it seems like they were embarrassed/not super proud of the person they were dating. But now they are super happy with the new person and want to show them off. So does that mean that their old relationship basically didn't mean much to them? Or that they knew it was going to end from the beginning? Or am I over thinking it? Could it be a different interpretation?

 

 I ask because my friend (who is a girl) was dating a girl for 3 years. . My friend gets dumped because the girl "wants to see what it's like dating guys" (and has a guy ready and willing. they literally had a date the night my friend got dumped) and now she's posting photos of him and her together 24/7. There's not one photo of her with my friend anywhere. Maybe she's just happy with this guy in a way she never was with my friend? Or maybe she's not afraid since it's a heterosexual relationship. Either way, I have friends who did the same where a friend dumped a guy, dated a new guy and then is like SOCIAL MEDIA UP IN HERE, when they never did that with the ex. Does it say something about the relationship?

 

I'm just curious as to what you all think

 

Also for those of you who don't know me, I'm Boggart and I make super long posts.

[Rocket]

As someone who has both posted a lot about relationships on social media and not posted anything idk it really depends.

 

I did it because I was probably more insecure and wanted the whole world to know I was happy and with someone. When I didn't post about my relationships it was because I didn't want everyone all up in my business and I felt secure enough in myself and my relationship that I didn't need to flaunt it. People who knew me and my SO knew that we were happy and saw us together in person. A picture here or there was fine, maybe once a year anniversary post, but not an everyday thing. I personally find it annoying when people in relationships post statuses about being in love all the time, how happy they are.. like who cares, who are you trying to convince you're happy? Us or you?

 

Now I'm at the point where I like my private life private, big events can be posted but everything else can stay away from social media.

[DonValentino]

Never posted a status about being in a relationship, we have some pictures on instagram and Facebook which is fine I like pictures. I don't like sharing that much on Facebook anyway so don't see any reason to change that just because I have a gf. If I started a new relationship (which is not going to happen any time soon) I'd follow the same guidelines. Because one I think it would be insensitive to my previous relationship, and two if I barely post shit with someone I've been dating for a year then I'm definitely not going to change for this new person lol.

But I have no problem taking pictures with girls I'm hanging out with I enjoy pictures like I said, just don't expect a status or to be in my profile picture

[NapisaurusRex]

When I'm happy, I take pictures of things that make me happy and post them. When I'm not, I don't.

[Emily]

I'm more of like a special occasion poster. Big anniversaries, holidays, etc. I wouldn't post about everything happening in the relationship because it's not really anyone's business. Posting pictures from holidays, anniversaries, and other special outings and stuff is fine to me though.

 

I know a bunch of people who make their S.O. their man crush Monday or woman crush Wednesday EVERY week. I get it. You like them. Or there are others that post about everything - even fights. It's just obnoxious. 

[Elindoril]

I guess it depends on the person, but I see my sister post relationship stuff all the time and every post has a million likes and simple minded comments. I think she just likes the attention and wants to show off her latest man.

And then the next day I see her and ask how her man is doing and it's all "oh that jerk is an ass" or "I'm through with that cheating asshole" or something else.

Every once in a while Turnip and I post some goofy photo, get ignored, shrug it off, and go back to being hikikomoris.

[Waser Lave]

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person these days who doesn't do social media at all. Certainly solves all of these kinds of issues anyway.

[Swar]

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person these days who doesn't do social media at all. Certainly solves all of these kinds of issues anyway.

You're not alone. I used to, but it didn't bring me anything useful for life, so I stopped.

[Keil]

I don't post relationship stuff on social media. I think the NSA partnered with NASA and the Illuminati to survey the population in order to pool a group of individuals to mysterious abduct in order to fight the real war. They've been after me ever since I found out they bugged my mailbox and my friend's bidet.

 

I sometimes wonder if I'm the only person these days who doesn't do social media at all. Certainly solves all of these kinds of issues anyway.

 

*hi fives*

 

I don't do social media either. I do have a facebook but I quit almost two years ago. It's also sad seeing that even though I was inactive for a long time there, a few people said happy birthday to me >.<

[Prisca]

I have thought about this too. I like rockets response.

 

I personally am not a huge social media poster in general, i post because it is requested of me to do so.

[ArticTheTiger]

To be fair. I think I post more pictures of my cats on social media than of me and my fiance.

 

I just don't think there is much of a point. 

 

I do think in the future I will regret this, as there will be a lack of photos  

[Peaches]

I never post much about anything on FB. It's so rare for me to feel the need to post. I don't even remember the last time I posted pics of my SO and I together and we've been a couple since the end of 2008.

 

It's interesting you bring this all up because my SO on multiple occasions has asked me to take more pictures with him as he feels like he's not in a relationship with me sometimes. I'm like...do we really have to do this, it's just fucking Facebook! So because of the lack of pictures online he feels alienated as all of his other mates constantly post pics of their girls. So somehow their relationship feels more valid than ours.

 

It's not like we don't have pictures together, there are thousands across a laptop and two phones. I just figured since he wakes up to me IN PERSON every day/night, that pics on social media weren't a big deal. Everybody knows we are a couple.

 

Now that I really think about it, I'll only gain attention when I post up pics of myself/us together. I don't know whether my mates are all visual animals or nothing else matters but relationship pics...

[Elindoril]

I don't do social media either. I do have a facebook but I quit almost two years ago. It's also sad seeing that even though I was inactive for a long time there, a few people said happy birthday to me >.<

People just see on the sidebar that it's your birthday and mindlessly say stuff.

My friend has been inactive in years and I still are everyone on his list wish him a happy birthday when it comes around.

[Emily]

Social media is just an easy way for people to be nosy as hell. 

[Romy]

I post shit about @Chappy somewhat often.

 

(What do the people that have me added on FB think?)

[NapisaurusRex]

I post shit about @Chappy somewhat often.

 

(What do the people that have me added on FB think?)

Chappy posts just the right amount of you, imo.

[Romy]

Chappy posts just the right amount of you, imo.

I think we post about the same. I'm good. :3

[Adam]

Unfortunately social media means way too much to people. It really irks me when someone is like "Jason deleted me from facebook, I just guess we're not friends anymore. I'm not talking to him anymore." In my last relationship Twitter actually became a very big obstacle, and caused a lot of drama. I'm as guilty as she was in doing this -- Twitter was our medium for venting, and we would both post things, whether we meant to or not, would catch the eye of the other and might be taken as a cheap shot towards them. I've found it best to shy away from social media when seeing someone. Right now I haven't stopped using facebook because the girl I'm seeing and I aren't exactly...official yet.

 

Edit: I'm a pro at over analyzing things. SOCIAL MEDIA = EVIL

[Chappy]

I post shit about @Chappy somewhat often.

 

(What do the people that have me added on FB think?)

 

what do you post again? o-o

 

Chappy posts just the right amount of you, imo.

 

um Im thinking when I really post about Romy.

Honestly,in the media's eye I'll be judged either way:
If I post too much or talk about it I'll be catagorized as clingy or obsessive. 
If I post too little its like: Is your bf real? are you even dedicated?

 

In real life I try to establish I have a bf if the unlikely hood someone likes me will gtfo. I either will brag about @Romy or complain.

That's all I think I do....

 

[Romy]

If I post too little its like: Is your bf real? are you even dedicated?

 

Hey.

 

Is your bf real? I don't think he exists.

[Chappy]

Hey.

 

Is your bf real? I don't think he exists.

 

sure wish he didn't, then we could be together

[Swar]

sure wish he didn't, then we could be together

 

What about Roy?

[Chappy]

What about Roy?

 

Roy will understand ;3 He always understands