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Question About Step-Parents


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Poll: Do you call your step-parent Mom or Dad

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Do you call your step-parent mom or dad?

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#1 Rocket

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 06:27 PM

Totally random here, but I'm curious to those of you with step-parents how do you address them?

 

My parents have been divorced since I was two. My mother has been married to my step-dad for 23 years this year, and my father has been married several times. My parents are great friends now, so nothing negative there.

 

When I was younger (5-10) I spent limited time with my mother and step-father (every other weekend) and I was young so I didn't really call my step-dad "dad" because he was kind of a stranger since I didn't see him much, I've always called him by his name. It's been brought up that I can call him dad and it wouldn't be disrespectful to my actual father but due to the next story, I never have and never will call him "dad". Not that I don't love him, he's been a great father figure, he gave me an awesome half brother, and he has provided the world for me and my sister and is the best husband to my mom.

 

My dad married the wickedest wicked witch ever when I was really young, dated for long time before they got married. She MADE me and my sister call her Mom, it was weird but in my little kid brain I couldn't not do it (there's a huge list of things that I could complain about, but let's just put it this way, I still have nightmares about her and her kids well almost 15 years later). That marriage only lasted about 10 years (age 5ish-16ish) and thank god she's out of our lives.

 

But ever since being forced to call someone "mom" it put a bad taste in my mouth and I have never referred to any of my dad's wives as "mom". I LOVE LOVE LOVE my current step-mother, I LOVE her family, but she's only been in my life for coming up on 3 years and it just feels natural to me to refer to her by her name. 

 

Another story. My grandmother died in 2011, my grandfather remarried a year and a half, two years ago. My Aunt refers to her now step-mom as "Mom" and it kinda weirds me out when she says "going to see mom and dad". My dad refers to them as "Dad and Pat (her name)".

 

Maybe it's just my past and how I was forced and didn't really have a decision.

 

I want to hear about you and your step-parents! Are you a step-parent? Chime in!



#2 Adam

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 06:47 PM

I call my step-dad by his first name, Dan. He's perfectly okay with me doing so. It's just that I already have a "dad", a shitty dad, but one none the less. 



#3 Swar

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 06:58 PM

Not my case, but my sister (by my dad's side) calls my mom Aunt Andrea (her name). Her mom and my dad didn't marry, though, they were just dating back then. But the woman is a bit crazy, so my dad broke up with her when my sister was 1~2.



#4 Elindoril

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 07:15 PM

I call my stepmother by her first name and is fine with it. I just do it because it's weird calling her Mom despite her being a better mother than my actual mother.

My stepfather I call him by his actual name, which is Herman, instead of the stupid nickname "Poet" that he wants to go by. To me he is the turd sticking out of a constipated anus that just refuses to give relief. Hate his guts.

#5 Kaddict

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 07:59 PM

It is different, but I don't like calling my in-laws mom and dad. My brother in law calls my parents mom and dad, but it has never been comfortable to me. I absolutely love my in-laws, I just don't feel comfortable calling them by anything other than their names. Honestly, just do whatever is comfortable. 

But I kinda hate when people say "you aren't my dad" even though they have been raised by them since they were 3 or something (mostly in the case where the biological father isn't in the picture, due to death or transient-ness). I especially hate it when kids who were adopted into an amazing family feel like their biological parents they have never met are their "real parents." that is garbage. 

Anyway, I think what you do is perfectly fine. Do what is comfortable, don't force it. I am sorry you had an evil step-mom who may have ruined any future prospect of calling anyone else mom or dad. That sucks.


I call my stepmother by her first name and is fine with it. I just do it because it's weird calling her Mom despite her being a better mother than my actual mother.

My stepfather I call him by his actual name, which is Herman, instead of the stupid nickname "Poet" that he wants to go by. To me he is the turd sticking out of a constipated anus that just refuses to give relief. Hate his guts.

Poet......? Really? That guy sounds exactly as you described him, based solely off his nickname



#6 Padme

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 08:00 PM

@shrouded You can answer this very well lol



#7 Elindoril

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 08:21 PM

Poet......? Really? That guy sounds exactly as you described him, based solely off his nickname


He's not even poetic. More Prosaic.

#8 HiMyNameIsNick

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Posted 11 March 2016 - 11:24 PM

Nope



#9 Daria

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 02:15 AM

my dad was married before he married my mum and hes got 2 kids from that marriage, (my half brother and sister), they lived with us during their teen years and always called my mum "aunty tanya", still do to this day. they still have their own mum who barely ever sees them, but they've never called my mum their mum haha



#10 Prisca

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 04:22 AM

My parents separated when i was 2, and my mum remarried. I called my stepdad "dad" growing up, since he was my father figure. I don't call my biological fathers wife "mom" though. Since those three (mom, dad and "dad"), i won't be adding anymore "mom"/"dad" named people to my life... we will just stick to a first name basis. 



#11 NapisaurusRex

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 07:21 AM

I go way out of my way to avoid using anyone's name unless I absolutely have to.



#12 Trichomes

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 07:33 AM

I go way out of my way to avoid using anyone's name unless I absolutely have to.

 

When you're talking directly to them, you mean? Because I definitely do this. There are only a few people (like my boyfriend or sister) who I feel comfortable addressing by name.



#13 Ali

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 07:44 AM

I've never even met my current stepfather and I don't intend to.



#14 shrouded

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 12:37 PM

I call both of my birth parents mom and dad usually. I call my step-mother mom and my step father my step father usually.

 

My parents got divorced when I was very little. My dad married my step mother in 2007, but they have been together for almost 20 years. She wiped my butt when I was little..

 

My mom and my step father got together about two years after my parents divorced. I usually called him my step-father growing up. I didn't live with them except for during the summer time and other holidays. They've divorced now, but we are still very, very close.

 

I'm incredibly close with all of my parents. I love them all and they all look after me.



#15 Waser Lave

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 12:37 PM

I don't have step-parents but I've called my actual parents by their real names since I was a kid, can't remember why though, I suspect I'm just a bit odd.



#16 Ali

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 01:32 PM

I don't have step-parents but I've called my actual parents by their real names since I was a kid, can't remember why though, I suspect I'm just a bit odd.

I can verify that you're a bit odd.



#17 Waser Lave

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 01:48 PM

I can verify that you're a bit odd.

 

Good-odd or bad-odd? :lookaround:



#18 Mishelle

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Posted 12 March 2016 - 02:06 PM

I call my mom's boyfriend by his name. He always calls me daughter but I never call him dad. He didn't raise me and I just don't feel comfortable calling anyone except my dad that. Before when my mom was married to a grade A douche I also called him by his name even though he constantly tried to tell me he was my dad when he already had 4 kids he didn't take care of. And now he has 5 kids he doesn't take care of since my brother was born. Idk why he wanted to be my dad so bad when he already had a ton of kids he didn't even attempt to father. My dad has only  had one girlfriend my entire life and she's a crazy bitch, I call her by her name.

 

My mom calls my dad's mom mom because her mom died when she was young so she was basically the closest thing to a mom my mom ever had.


Edited by Mishelle, 12 March 2016 - 02:08 PM.



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