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Have you ever been cheated on? Have you ever cheated on somebody?


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#1 Rogue

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 06:42 PM

If so, how did you feel? Did they found out? Did you say? Did they forgive?

 

Would you forgive an infidelity?

 

I cheated once when I was 17 and I felt like shit right away, I didn't tell them I cheated but I broke up a week later. I have been cheated on twice, though, and I found out the first time because of mutual friends and the second time because I was already suspecting something as off and they finally confessed. I feel like I deserve it, Karma comes back around! 



#2 DonValentino

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 06:54 PM

This is heavy lol need at least one more bottle of wine



#3 Rogue

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 06:59 PM

This is heavy lol need at least one more bottle of wine

 

It's friday somewhere, don't hold back!



#4 HiMyNameIsNick

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:01 PM

It's friday somewhere, don't hold back!

 

No it's not (at least not yet) :p



#5 Swar

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:03 PM

If so, how did you feel? Did they found out? Did you say? Did they forgive?

I've never been to a serious relationship, so it's a no :p

 

Would you forgive an infidelity?

Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I would, but I can't be sure without it happening. I get quite mad when I hear stories about people cheating, even if I have nothing to do with the people involved.



#6 Rogue

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:07 PM

 

If so, how did you feel? Did they found out? Did you say? Did they forgive?

I've never been to a serious relationship, so it's a no :p

 

Would you forgive an infidelity?

Honestly, I don't know. I don't think I would, but I can't be sure without it happening. I get quite mad when I hear stories about people cheating, even if I have nothing to do with the people involved.

 

 

Right? How can I still trust that person? Back then I would never forgive who cheated on me...

 

Nowadays I would do, people change. It was 2 years ago, if we were to start over as an altogether new relationship, I guess I could give another try!



#7 Coops

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:11 PM

This is heavy lol need at least one more bottle of wine

Haha yeah. For real.

 

Okay. Here it goes though.

Spoiler



#8 Rogue

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:23 PM

Haha yeah. For real.

 

Okay. Here it goes though.

Spoiler

 

Wow. I'm impressed how you got it together. It was very mature of you to still let him talk to this chick, I could neeever in a million years.

 

I'm very jealous, I've never seen somebody as jealous as me, to speak the truth. I could never stay together with somebody who cheated on me. I could get back together... one day, but I could never stay and just try to move on. I have a low self esteem and my skin is paper thin, so I'd take eveything really personally.

 

Everytime I start a new relationship I can barely sleep for the first couple of weeks because I think 24/7 I'm being cheated on, my mind becomes a chaos.

 

I suffer for the cheating way before it happens. :(



#9 Kaddict

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:23 PM

I did once. Its kinda convoluted. I was dating this girl for a while, but she went away to school. At first we thought we were gonna do long distance. She cheated on me with a couple of dudes (though, they were both abusive in different ways, so I think she stayed with them longer than she wanted to). After that, we sorta semi-mutually decided to stop seeing each other while she was gone for a year, and pick it back up when she got home. I started seeing other people. Got into a relationship with one. After a while, the girl thought we were more serious than I thought we were (poor communication on my part probably). Original girl comes back home and we hooked up a few times. Once I was with girl A and then later with girl B on the same night. :(  Anyway, Girl B found out and was mad, but didn't want to break up (even though I heard her say on multiple occasions that there was no excuse and no forgiveness for cheating). We tried it for a while, but then, a while before girl A was coming back from school, girl B told me I had to cut off all relationships (even platonic) with girl A, which I refused. I felt really bad, but girl A and I had known each other for years and dated for almost 2 years. So I told her I would be faithful to girl B and remain friends with girl A or I would end relationship with girl B. We ended up breaking up. Sucks. I felt really bad. That what you get when you think with your dick. But she is married and seems happy now. We remained friends after we broke up (for a while) and kept accidentally hooking up (for a shorter while). So, I guess it happens...

tl;dr Don't think with your dick--unless you don't have emotions/looooooove making whoopie



#10 Elindoril

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:33 PM

I did once.

Told @Turnip I'd eat better, and then had an ice cream sandwich.

#11 Kitty

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:34 PM

Been cheated on once - hurt like lot all I can say on that matter.. My mum was in a super bad relationship with a cheater.. even tried making a pass out me. Know i'm legal but not cool dude. She cut ties after that bull. But cheaters in my opinion usually go down a tier anyways... or Feel unloved for some reason.. :/

 

Personally I've never cheated, I dont really have beliefs for that sorta thing.. :unsure:



#12 Rogue

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:37 PM

I did once.

Told @Turnip I'd eat better, and then had an ice cream sandwich.

 

OMG, that's so lame. Did she forgive you?

 

Hope she dumps your ice cream sandwich eating ass.


Been cheated on once - hurt like lot all I can say on that matter.. My mum was in a super bad relationship with a cheater.. even tried making a pass out me. Know i'm legal but not cool dude. She cut ties after that bull. But cheaters in my opinion usually go down a tier anyways... or Feel unloved for some reason.. :/

 

Personally I've never cheated, I dont really have beliefs for that sorta thing.. :unsure:

 

Maybe, when I cheated, I did that because I was feeling slighted on the relationship :( Some people cheat just because!



#13 Elindoril

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:40 PM

OMG, that's so lame. Did she forgive you?

Hope she dumps your ice cream sandwich eating ass.


Once she saw the melted ice cream and chocolate smeared all over my face she packed up and moved out. I've since lost control of my life and have doubled my weight on ice cream sandwiches alone. I might need help.

#14 Adam

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:41 PM

Ex girlfriend is a lesbian. She was a lesbian while I was dating her. She rubbed taco's with her "best friend", and thought I didn't know. I never cheated on anyone, and I never will. Why be in a relationship if you're not happy and have to cheat?



#15 Turnip

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:41 PM

OMG, that's so lame. Did she forgive you?
 
Hope she dumps your ice cream sandwich eating ass.

 
I just couldn't believe it. We both agreed that we wouldn't eat the ice cream sandwiches but look at what he did!! I don't think I'll ever get over this
 
(lmao I ate an ice cream sandwich even though I said I wouldn't eat one either)
 

Once she saw the melted ice cream and chocolate smeared all over my face she packed up and moved out. I've since lost control of my life and have doubled my weight on ice cream sandwiches alone. I might need help.

 
One time I woke up to him making chocolate pudding at 4am and I just stood there in shock. I refused to believe what I witnessed



#16 Kaddict

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:43 PM

Ex girlfriend is a lesbian. She was a lesbian while I was dating her. She rubbed taco's with her "best friend", and thought I didn't know. I never cheated on anyone, and I never will. Why be in a relationship if you're not happy and have to cheat?

Philosophical question for all: Would you be ok with your SO rubbing tacos with another girl? Would you be more or less ok with it if they let you watch? 



#17 Adam

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 07:45 PM

Philosophical question for all: Would you be ok with your SO rubbing tacos with another girl? Would you be more or less ok with it if they let you watch? 

I remember talking about this last time the topic of porn came up. I'm not into girl on girl stuff -- I don't find it attractive at all. I watch porn to imagine myself doing the deed, and I sure as hell don't want to imagine myself with junk that bleeds every so often.If I'm going to be in the same room with my girlfriend, while she's making the beast with two backs with another girl, I'm going to jump in.



#18 Amethyst

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 08:02 PM

I've never cheated but in every relationship except two, I've been cheated on. (The second is my current one.)

 

I always forgave it because I was a fucking idiot, I always thought it'd be a one time deal and we could move on from it, and every single time I was really fucking wrong.

I'd forgive it again, but only because the person I'm with is the one I want to marry.
But I don't really worry about that because she's not the type to do that sort of thing. Like at all. We're both anti social recluses.



#19 Kitty

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 08:29 PM

OMG, that's so lame. Did she forgive you?

 

Hope she dumps your ice cream sandwich eating ass.


 

Maybe, when I cheated, I did that because I was feeling slighted on the relationship :( Some people cheat just because!

True I've known men AND WOMEN who cheat just to cheat I dont understand it but i'm not them ;)



#20 Comet

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 09:07 PM

I was 24.
I was cheated on and he got the girl pregnant!!

I am now in a 13 year relationship and have never ever cheated and I hope I haven't been cheated on. I am sure I haven't because when he isn't at work he is either home or golfing. Plus I trust him!

#21 Padme

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 09:28 PM

I've been cheated on. In every serious relationship I've had.

 

My ex wanted to label me cheating on him when we weren't even together anymore but 'he said - she said' all that miscommunication jazz. He's admitted he just wants to be mad at me and make me feel like shit about my life. Ironic since he cheated on me with more than one girl early on in our very long term relationship. This guy also said it was totally okay for me to do ANYTHING with a woman and it wouldn't be cheating, basically the opposite of @Adam

 

Another relationship, another infidelity which I won't discuss here. 

 

There was one more but that doesn't even warrant discussion because I'm totally over it and don't care what this person does with their life. It was the best thing they could of done because I decided they were a PoS and lost all attraction to them thank God!

 

Forgiveness is really really hard... I'd like to think that I've forgiven people but a lot of times it wasn't even an act 'against me' it's their own shit and they just took me along for the ride. Sometimes it was an act against me, and worse than being physically cheated on is the disrespect, humility and embarrassment that came with it. When someone has done something 'because they can', or blamed it on me. If you love someone, care for them and want to spend your life with them... why treat them worse than you would an acquaintance or friend. :| 

 

Blah. I need a drink or two or ten right now.



#22 Coops

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 09:33 PM

I've been cheated on. In every serious relationship I've had.

 

My ex wanted to label me cheating on him when we weren't even together anymore but 'he said - she said' all that miscommunication jazz. He's admitted he just wants to be mad at me and make me feel like shit about my life. Ironic since he cheated on me with more than one girl early on in our very long term relationship. This guy also said it was totally okay for me to do ANYTHING with a woman and it wouldn't be cheating, basically the opposite of @Adam

 

Another relationship, another infidelity which I won't discuss here. 

 

There was one more but that doesn't even warrant discussion because I'm totally over it and don't care what this person does with their life. It was the best thing they could of done because I decided they were a PoS and lost all attraction to them thank God!

 

Forgiveness is really really hard... I'd like to think that I've forgiven people but a lot of times it wasn't even an act 'against me' it's their own shit and they just took me along for the ride. Sometimes it was an act against me, and worse than being physically cheated on is the disrespect, humility and embarrassment that came with it. When someone has done something 'because they can', or blamed it on me. If you love someone, care for them and want to spend your life with them... why treat them worse than you would an acquaintance or friend. :| 

 

Blah. I need a drink or two or ten right now.

 

I think that's sort of like what happened with my husband -- he took me along for the ride when he was trying to deal with his shit and some marriage shit I won't go into. I think that's partially why I was able to forgive him for emotional cheating. I know he's not 100% to blame. Like sure, in the simplest terms, yeah. He did a thing that was crummy. But it's so much more complicated. I don't think cheating is necessarily black and white, ever. At least, I have yet to meet cheaters and those who were cheated on who didn't have a ton of events that precipitated the cheating. And it's really, reaaaaally hard to try to be objective and reasonable about something so emotional. 



#23 Padme

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 10:34 PM

I think that's sort of like what happened with my husband -- he took me along for the ride when he was trying to deal with his shit and some marriage shit I won't go into. I think that's partially why I was able to forgive him for emotional cheating. I know he's not 100% to blame. Like sure, in the simplest terms, yeah. He did a thing that was crummy. But it's so much more complicated. I don't think cheating is necessarily black and white, ever. At least, I have yet to meet cheaters and those who were cheated on who didn't have a ton of events that precipitated the cheating. And it's really, reaaaaally hard to try to be objective and reasonable about something so emotional. 

 

100%, it's different for everyone too. Some people are married and will just up & leave if their spouse cheats on them; totally their right to do so. Others will try and want to be able to move past any issue (infidelity or otherwise.) Usually people cheating has very little to do with their partner (not always like you said very grey not black & white.)

 

I'll say this: In my opinion, cheating is not the worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship. Usually it is a myriad of other issues that pile on top of your partner playing 'hide the pickle' with someone else. People just focus on the ugly physicality of it because it's easy to. People ignore or play down the neglect, dishonesty, lack of communication, complacency, laziness, etc.



#24 Coops

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 10:39 PM

100%, it's different for everyone too. Some people are married and will just up & leave if their spouse cheats on them; totally their right to do so. Others will try and want to be able to move past any issue (infidelity or otherwise.) Usually people cheating has very little to do with their partner (not always like you said very grey not black & white.)

 

I'll say this: In my opinion, cheating is not the worst thing that can happen to you in a relationship. Usually it is a myriad of other issues that pile on top of your partner playing 'hide the pickle' with someone else. People just focus on the ugly physicality of it because it's easy to. People ignore or play down the neglect, dishonesty, lack of communication, complacency, laziness, etc.

I agree with your opinion. It's a cop out to ignore all the symptoms that lead to the ugly bits -- and I think sometimes people don't wanna talk about the neglect, dishonesty, etc etc because that's admitting they have a problem that contributed to the poor relationship, which maybe contributed to their SO cheating.



#25 Daria

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Posted 27 April 2016 - 11:55 PM

ive never been cheated on or cheated myself. 

 

my dad, however, had cheated on my mum. even ran off overseas (back to russia) to be with the other chick and even stole mine and my sisters' birth certificates to divorce my mum without her presence.. anyways i don't know whether or not my mum has genuinely forgiven him, but to this day they still sleep in the same bed and i think still have sex... mum claims she got back with him for my sisters and i, especially for my little one, who is 12 years younger than me, so she can grow up in a 'normal' family with two parents. our family is far from normal lol.

 

anyway, this experience will definitely make cheating unforgivable for me. i wouldn't put up with the person who would do that to me, no matter if we already have children or not.

on this note, my boyfriend's grandfather and father BOTH had separated with their wives, found someone else 10-20 years younger than themselves and had a kid (boyfriend's dad's new little girl is like 6 months old now).. and this makes me suspicious of it running in the family and my boyfriend also falling into the crazy middle aged man ordeal.. our relationship is pretty serious and we always talk about living together and having a family. and when i think about him cheating, i fear that i wont be able to let go of him and make the same mistake my mum did :/

 

anyways time will tell lets all hope for the best lol




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