So, in the last year I was in AK, my husband got super distant. I've never been a particularly jealous person. But he would constantly text this one friend (happens to be a chick). Like he'd drunk text HER and not me kind of stuff. He stopped sharing his feelings and like being in the marriage emotionally. I was struggling with a lot of vulnerabilities still, going to therapy for abuse and just trying to get my shit together. We both came from highly volatile family situations, so we both got married a little less put together than I'd like. I started getting anxious because he seemed, to me, to dislike being around me and preferred to be around her all the time.
This was a huge blow to my self-esteem and I admittedly, became somewhat jealous, something I never thought I'd experience. Anyways, mid-summer, I got a job and got super stressed between my health issues, school and work. And he went on a deployment to Guam, with this chick (he worked with her). And he just.. barely called me or texted me. Fast-forward, come December, he admits she drunkenly kissed him.
I was more mad at her than him. I say this because she had a long history of coming onto married men in her shop. Anyways, it was emotional cheating with a kiss. It is the only genuinely horrible thing my husband has ever done to me. But it's not entirely his fault. A lot of it was my own insecurity, jealousy and just general emotional problems that pushed him away. So I don't 100% blame him. And that chick was manipulative as fuck. At some point, I read my husbands texts (the ones he hadn't deleted ), again, something I never thought I'd do and I only did that once - because I immediately regretted it. And she would trash me non-stop to him. Saying he should leave me, how I'm this horrible human being, etc etc. And I could get that he might need to bitch a bit here and there. But it was really horrible stuff she said about me. The whole thing is pretty complicated with a lot of context I could go into but it'd take forever. xD
It is a genuinely shitty thing to experience. But yes, I forgave my husband for his emotional infidelity. Sometimes it makes me sad still. But we are happier, more in-love, more communicative than ever. He apologized for it. It took awhile for me to be able to lay everything out with him. And we almost didn't make it. The only thing I wish is he'd stop talking to her, which is genuinely selfish of me, I just think she's a manipulative piece of crap who likes to meddle. He isn't texting her every day anymore, thank fuck. And yes, I'm happy that she got fat when she left the military. He promised never to talk to her ABOUT me anymore. Because that's where a lot of these issues were really coming up. Like she'd just hear his side and instead of sometimes letting him bitch and sometimes being like, well, maybe imagine how she's feeling, it was always "wow, Coops is a piece of shit cunt who should be glad you even married her".
Ahem.
tl;dr Cheating is never black and white. Yes it sucks. But yes it can be forgiven, depending on the circumstances and people involved.