From wikipedia:
"Gaslighting is a form of mental abuse in which false information is presented with the intent of making a victim doubt his or her own memory, perception and sanity. Instances may range simply from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred, up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim."
In shot, Gaslighting is the attempt of one person to overwrite another person’s reality.
How do you know if you are being gaslighted? If any of the following warning signs ring true, you may be dancing the Gaslight Tango. Take care of yourself by taking another look at your relationship, talking to a trusted friend; and, begin to think about changing the dynamic of your relationship . Here are the signs:
1. You are constantly second-guessing yourself
2. You ask yourself, "Am I too sensitive?" a dozen times a day.
3. You often feel confused and even crazy at work.
4. You're always apologizing to your mother, father, boyfriend, boss.
5. You can't understand why, with so many apparently good things in your life, you aren't happier.
6. You frequently make excuses for your partner's behavior to friends and family.
7. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.
8. You know something is terribly wrong, but you can never quite express what it is, even to yourself.
9. You start lying to avoid the put downs and reality twists.
10. You have trouble making simple decisions.
11. You have the sense that you used to be a very different person - more confident, more fun-loving, more relaxed.
12. You feel hopeless and joyless.
13. You feel as though you can't do anything right.
14. You wonder if you are a "good enough" girlfriend/ wife/employee/ friend; daughter.
15. You find yourself withholding information from friends and family so you don't have to explain or make excuses.
Now I want to know about you. Have you even been gaslighted? Share with us.
On my last relationship I was constantly told that I was too "undesirable" for anyone else, so I should stay or I would end up alone. Like, my ex boyfriend knew I was insecure about my skin because I used to have a lot of acne, so he would ALWAYS comment about beautiful skins, like "Look at that boy, he's so handsome, his skin is so smooth, he is a keeper".
Then, when I got mad he would be like "Relax, you're too paranoid, I'm here with you anyway, aren't I?"
No matter whether I was right or not in the argument the fault was always and only mine. Like every single fucking time. Then one day I was like fuck this shit! I suspected she was a narcissist but then found out she was actually a BPD (borderline personality disorder) due to her past and so on. Haven't seen her face to face for almost 2 years now and it's been a huge relief. Sometimes we still talk online but that's pretty much it.
