102 replies to this topic

[DonValentino]

Do you think your thinking less of obese people has an effect on your actions though? Just wondering. 

Professionally, no. Personally, maybe, in that initially I might not want to spend time with you. I would never blow someone off just because of their weight, but it's something I would have to get passed. Maybe that's not fair to them if they have a good reason for their issue, but it's not attractive to me. 

 

But not everyone is fat because they eat too much or have unhealthy habits. 

I would say that the majority of obesity is caused by unhealthy eating habits. Of course, there are always exceptions, but it's not like I will ignore you or go out of my way to be difficult if you're obese. It's just something I'm put off by.

 

I agree with that last part, I also feel like that about them (and people with bad habits in general, like drinking, smoking, being sedentary etc), but I don't think less of them, simply for the fact that I'm not perfect either, not just in the health subject. Although I have to admit that a few years ago I used to.

Yeah, that's why I don't let it effect the way I treat them as people. I used to feel the same way about people that smoked cigarettes, or weed, or other stuff I found offputting. I'm working on it.

 

To be honest, I don't really have that much experience with obese people, I don't know any personally. Really the extent of it is that if I see someone obese walking down the street, I'll feel bad for a moment, because A) I assume they have no control over themselves, which I can't respect (I don't really have any, which manifests itself in other ways, so I don't really respect myself either), and B) because it's not attractive and I don't particularly care to look at things I find unattractive. 

[Tidus]

I think thin privilege affects women more than men honestly. But I think that it also varies with actual weight. If a man and a woman were both like 300 lbs, I think they would be treated differently. However, a 250lb man might get treated better than a 250lb woman. Honestly I think it's dumb as shit, but it deffo happens.

[Coops]

Professionally, no. Personally, maybe, in that initially I might not want to spend time with you. I would never blow someone off just because of their weight, but it's something I would have to get passed. Maybe that's not fair to them if they have a good reason for their issue, but it's not attractive to me. 

 

At least you're honest and willing to acknowledge it, I can really respect that. Most people aren't aware of their biases and how it effects them. So, good for you for trying to be aware of how it changes you.

[Ladida]

I've definitely seen thin privilege in action on many, MANY occasions. The most recent was when my thin, attractive cousin got a discount when buying a new phone. I've shopped at the same store many times, never was offered a discount. Not even once. I've always genetically tended towards being just over the overweight borderline, except when I used to go to extreme measures to be "acceptably thin" back in my teenage years.

 

I've only recently made peace with my weight, after years of bouncing up and down. What brought that realization on was that my hormones used to get weirdly unbalanced when I was below a certain weight. Cue many trips to the doctor, with blood tests turning up nothing else being wrong. As life got busy, I had less time to worry about whether I was thin anymore, and after putting on 15 pounds, the fluctuations stopped. Everything in my body balanced itself out. Being 130ish lbs used to be my nightmare, but it apparently seems like that's the weight my body functions best at. True, I'll look chubby, being only 5' 3", but my quality of life sure is better than when I was 120lbs. And considering that the hormonal fluctuations are gone, I'd say I'm healthier at this point as well.

 

(This is just my personal story. I still take care of my health, and I definitely advocate that others do as well. Weight should not be the only variable when considering someone's health. The entire body, the innumerable interactions, and the person's habits all need to be taken into account when forming a conclusion about one's health.)

[Mishelle]

Because I'm entitled to my own opinion?

 

This is the debate forum so "that's just my opinion" isn't just going to fly here. You've gotta actually back it up with some substance.

[talbs]

Do you believe that fatphobia and thin privilege exists? Have you experienced it or seen it?

 

No. No.

This is the debate forum so "that's just my opinion" isn't just going to fly here. You've gotta actually back it up with some substance.

 

Didn't see the section it was posted in. I'll see myself out.

[Mishelle]

I've definitely seen thin privilege in action on many, MANY occasions. The most recent was when my thin, attractive cousin got a discount when buying a new phone. I've shopped at the same store many times, never was offered a discount. Not even once. I've always genetically tended towards being just over the overweight borderline, except when I used to go to extreme measures to be "acceptably thin" back in my teenage years.

 

I've only recently made peace with my weight, after years of bouncing up and down. What brought that realization on was that my hormones used to get weirdly unbalanced when I was below a certain weight. Cue many trips to the doctor, with blood tests turning up nothing else being wrong. As life got busy, I had less time to worry about whether I was thin anymore, and after putting on 15 pounds, the fluctuations stopped. Everything in my body balanced itself out. Being 130ish lbs used to be my nightmare, but it apparently seems like that's the weight my body functions best at. True, I'll look chubby, being only 5' 3", but my quality of life sure is better than when I was 120lbs. And considering that the hormonal fluctuations are gone, I'd say I'm healthier at this point as well.

 

(This is just my personal story. I still take care of my health, and I definitely advocate that others do as well. Weight should not be the only variable when considering someone's health. The entire body, the innumerable interactions, and the person's habits all need to be taken into account when forming a conclusion about one's health.)

 

Kind of related but also not, I've also noticed that plus sized clothing costs a lot more than regular clothing. I'm not sure if it's the same for men but I had to stop buying jeans because I could rarely find jeans that fit me and when I did they were always at least $50.

Edited by Mishelle, 29 May 2016 - 04:24 PM.

[diebuster]

Is there anything for people facing height discrimination, like shortphobia/tall privilege? Because those are things you can't actually change.

 

Jokes aside, we're genetically wired to find attractive people more friendly and competent. And to a larger extent, we simply are attracted to beautiful things. It sucks that society is superficial, but things aren't going to change anytime soon. If you're a 300lbs ham planet being discriminated wherever you go, try cutting down on eating and do some cardio or start lifting. Nobody's asking you to go on starvation mode or head to the gym daily (enjoy your muscle fatigue). Just eat less and work out more. Becoming fitter will raise your attractiveness level by a long margin.

 

 

Sources:
Psychology Today - Why we pay more attention to beautiful people

New York Times - Why we love beautiful things

[Daria]

In this day and age, "thinphobia" also exists. The fuller girls shame the thinner girls and the thinner girls shame the fuller girls.. It's really a never ending circle.

 

I have no problem with fuller girls nor thinner girls. But what really gets on my nerves is when either party promotes junk food. Most supermodels these days defend themselves that they eat junk food therefore, they aren't really "skinny" and are in fact healthy and curvy. Same with curvier girls. I saw a video on Facebook a few weeks ago how a plus size model was getting hate for being her size. So her response was to make a video and make the haters "suck it" by showing everyone how much she loves junk food, that it is okay to eat junk food and that junk food will basically make you beautiful and curvy.

 

I really eff-ing hate that. I really do. 

 

It is okay to be skinny, it is okay to be curvy. What isn't okay is eating junk food and promoting it to others. Everyone has a different rate of metabolism and different genetics and body structures. Everyone deposits fat cells in different parts of their bodies. Why does it matter what anyone looks like when they consume healthy, nourishing and wholesome foods?

 

Sigh. Everyone should just be happy and healthy and mind their own business instead of going around the internet (and real life for that matter) and bullying people for their weight. Instead, we should go around more and educate each other about good food and health. 

Edited by Daria, 30 May 2016 - 03:41 AM.

[kbexx]

I was on the lower end of weight scale for a long time but am now on the higher end of things. I've gained a lot of weight the last few years; i'm not obese, but am overweight. I have had a few doctors make really rude comments about my weight, including an endocrinologist who I was seeing because I genuinely want to know what was wrong with me, and all he did was give me a sheet on healthy eating, which really just showed he hadn't even looked at the food diary I gave him. That upset me a lot because I wasn't expecting it from an endocrinologist. Around the same time, I had a personal trainer that I was working with last year who would accuse me of lying about what I ate because he couldn't wrap his head around the fact that I wasn't losing weight because calories in/out wasn't adding up. I feel like people don't believe my food diaries now when I'm overweight, but never had dieticians/nutritionists/etc doubt what I was eating when I was normal weight.

 

I also used to get ridiculous unsolicited diet advice from my ex housemate who a) eats very unhealthily, like she would eat a whole tray of brownies in a night, at least a few nights a week, and b) had no real understanding of nutrition. She'd talk down to me  when I went for a run and acted very superior, even though she rarely exercised. She was so condescending. one day, I walked four hours and back to a fruit/veg shop that has a vegan cafe. I had wanted to drive there and buy a treat because I had been working hard, but I couldn't get out of the driveway as her car was in the way. I ended up buying a raw vegan bar/cake thing and bringing it home with me, and planned to have it the next day like it was birthday cake. She saw me walk in with a piece of 'cake' and made a really hurtful comment along the lines of "it's great that you don't care about eating cake and getting fatter." Wanted to slap her because even buying a piece of cake like that was a big deal for me with my thought patterns in the past, and also I had gone for a four hour walk so yeah, SO WHAT IF I ATE A PIECE OF HEALTHY CAKE ON MY BIRTHDAY THE NEXT DAY?! (She is a horrible person and really riles me up). I feel like a lot of people assume that I eat crap food all the time because of my weight, but I honestly don't know anyone who is as aware of the food they eat as I am, since I have lots of food intolerances. People assume I eat too much, when I actually don't eat nearly enough thanks to some disordered eating patterns I had when I was younger. I believe that I slowed my metabolism a lot as a teenager with my disordered eating, and I really struggle to fix some of those patterns. 

 

I don't think I've noticed much else other than unsolicited advice. I haven't really been asked out since I gained weight, but at the same time, I've been unwell for just as long, so it's not like I'm going out and seeing people anyway. If I felt as rubbish as I do and was skinny, I'm sure it would be the same. I feel like people judge me when I am buying food, sometimes, but that could be me projecting as I have a lot of guilt around food when it comes to treating myself. I also feel judged when I am buying protein powders/bars at supplement shops, which I probably am because they're not exactly the most supportive places. I like to have those because i know that I underrate and hope that eating more might boost my metabolism. It hasn't worked yet, though. 

 

eta: sorry for the essay. apparently I have very strong feelings about this/i feel the need to elaborate excessively after experiences on reddit lol with the CALORIES IN/OUT police. 

Edited by kbexx, 30 May 2016 - 11:50 PM.

[lalalizzy]

In this day and age, "thinphobia" also exists. The fuller girls shame the thinner girls and the thinner girls shame the fuller girls.. It's really a never ending circle.

 

I have no problem with fuller girls nor thinner girls. But what really gets on my nerves is when either party promotes junk food. Most supermodels these days defend themselves that they eat junk food therefore, they aren't really "skinny" and are in fact healthy and curvy. Same with curvier girls. I saw a video on Facebook a few weeks ago how a plus size model was getting hate for being her size. So her response was to make a video and make the haters "suck it" by showing everyone how much she loves junk food, that it is okay to eat junk food and that junk food will basically make you beautiful and curvy.

 

I really eff-ing hate that. I really do. 

 

It is okay to be skinny, it is okay to be curvy. What isn't okay is eating junk food and promoting it to others. Everyone has a different rate of metabolism and different genetics and body structures. Everyone deposits fat cells in different parts of their bodies. Why does it matter what anyone looks like when they consume healthy, nourishing and wholesome foods?

 

Sigh. Everyone should just be happy and healthy and mind their own business instead of going around the internet (and real life for that matter) and bullying people for their weight. Instead, we should go around more and educate each other about good food and health. 

 

^This. This is so true.

 

I'm so glad someone pointed it out... I cringe every time I hear someone say "real women have curves".... Skinny women are REAL. Curvy women are REAL. Women are REAL.  Society puts so much pressure on women already to fit into a standard and those kinds of comments make it worse - we shouldn't be placing those standards on other women too, it feeds the problem. 

 

 

I really wish that we as a society would focus on health rather than weight honestly.  I have a small frame so even if I drop just about 5 lbs (which is pretty natural to happen when I'm stressed) it's pretty noticeable and I will have people comment "oh you're so skinny!" and sometimes it's meant nicely and sometimes it's in a tone that makes it obvious that it's not nice....  It shouldn't be okay for anyone to be commenting on another's weight (whether they consider the person skinny or fat) unless they're asked for their opinion.  

 

On the original topic - does thin privilege exist?  I'm sure that some thin people are treated better in certain situations than those who carry more weight but I think it ties into what people find attractive.  Honestly, facially attractive people are probably treated better than those that others don't find as facially attractive.  It's definitely wrong.   The only thing any of us can do about it though is to realize that maybe we have our own biases and to check ourselves and the way we treat others.  Change starts at an individual level. 

[w35l3y]

If someone is fat, bald, blonde or wears red skirt and is used as reference like "turn left next to that fat girl"... is it considered phobia?

[Daviid]

Kind of related but also not, I've also noticed that plus sized clothing costs a lot more than regular clothing. I'm not sure if it's the same for men but I had to stop buying jeans because I could rarely find jeans that fit me and when I did they were always at least $50.

 

Well, the more fabric needed to make the clothes the more you'll have to pay for it.

[NapisaurusRex]

I used to feel the same way about people that smoked weed or other stuff I found offputting.

 The obvious solution is to get you fat then.

I think fatphobia exists, but I also think that the particular kind of attitude displayed by some people towards fat people is also displayed by some fat people toward thin people. When that stupid song by that blonde chick came out about bass, it felt like I couldn't open facebook without there being some kind of meme about how skinny mermaids can't have sex or boys like boobs and fat people have more boob or how marilyn monroe was fat and the thing that pissed me off the most is that BLONDE CHICK ISN'T THAT FAT. It took me a while to realize that the reason I didn't think she was fat is because my perception of weight is skewed by reality and I was shocked by the number of "skinny" (probably healthy weight) people when I went to Canada.

[Paprika]

i think it's part of a more general type of discrimination where people discriminate based on looks. more attractive person more likely to get ahead in life, etc.

 

people who are overweight can be cute af, and amazing people, but i think being obese means that you *cannot* be healthy, and people telling them that's it's fine and they don't need to change certain habits they have is so so detrimental to their well-being. where the line gets drawn is a bit hazy, and a difficult issue.

 

condoning being overweight as a lifestyle is something i absolutely cannot get behind.

[Kaddict]

Let's just say you are right about this, and this next statement isn't to you but to people in general who use the argument that being overweight isn't healthy:

Why is it anyone else's business how healthy someone is?
What does health have to do with how you're treated?
Just say it is an indication that you're unhealthy, would people who are fatphobic treat someone with cancer the same way?

That's what I don't understand about that whole argument.

Just to play the side that isn't getting as much attention: Because citizens of the USA pay taxes and medicare/medicaid taxes and increasing healthcare premiums, if we allow people around us to eat themselves into obesity, we will end up spending more money to pay for their healthcare.

I think most fatophobics think that being fat is a choice, whereas cancer isn't a choice.

(ps these aren't necessarily my actual opinions)

 

 

Other random thoughts:

weight (although an imperfect data point) is arguably the 1st or 2nd most important vital sign as an indicator of overall health (when used with height as BMI, BP being the other important vital sign). I really dislike the BMI scale, but it is quick and dirty. Having said that, I think the cutoffs for overweight and obese are too low. Since all-cause mortality is the same for someone 1 point underweight (17.5) as someone who is 7.5 points overweight (32.5). So clearly being underweight can be just as damaging as being overweight.

I don't think people should be judged based on weight. Obviously, not everyone has a choice in their weight. Girls with PCOS for instance have a notoriously difficult time maintaining a healthy weight. Also, I hate people who are judgey and think that their way is perfect and their opinion is face anyway. BUT if you have to judge someone based on an immediate look, I would rather have someone be judged on something you have control over (weight) rather than something you have no ccontrol over (race, sex etc).

I also hate thin shaming though. I also hate people that say "ew, thin girls are gross. It takes a real man to be with a curvy girl. etc etc etc all those shitty facebook picture posts." You aren't attracted to fat girls? Cool. Keep it to your damn self. You aren't attracted to thin girls? Cool. Keep it to your damn self.

Anyway, a little bit of tact goes a long way. 

[tumblr]

If someone is or chose to be overweight, it's nothing to be shamed for, and this shouldn't be a thing where thin people have 'fatphobia'.

 

Something that is there to consider is that obesity, as we should not accept people being extremely overweight as the norm, certainly if they pass those lifestyle choices onto their kids. It sounds a bit extreme coming from me, but there is a fine line that we need to find, where we don't let people eat to death, but still not be shamed for existing. I hope for the day we can find an easy middle ground, instead of people constantly gunning at each other.

[sprockets]

In this day and age, "thinphobia" also exists. The fuller girls shame the thinner girls and the thinner girls shame the fuller girls.. It's really a never ending circle.

I have no problem with fuller girls nor thinner girls. But what really gets on my nerves is when either party promotes junk food. Most supermodels these days defend themselves that they eat junk food therefore, they aren't really "skinny" and are in fact healthy and curvy. Same with curvier girls. I saw a video on Facebook a few weeks ago how a plus size model was getting hate for being her size. So her response was to make a video and make the haters "suck it" by showing everyone how much she loves junk food, that it is okay to eat junk food and that junk food will basically make you beautiful and curvy.

I really eff-ing hate that. I really do.

It is okay to be skinny, it is okay to be curvy. What isn't okay is eating junk food and promoting it to others. Everyone has a different rate of metabolism and different genetics and body structures. Everyone deposits fat cells in different parts of their bodies. Why does it matter what anyone looks like when they consume healthy, nourishing and wholesome foods?

Sigh. Everyone should just be happy and healthy and mind their own business instead of going around the internet (and real life for that matter) and bullying people for their weight. Instead, we should go around more and educate each other about good food and health.

I've actually been noticing this a lot more frequently. "Omg, I weigh more than you?" or someone will roll their eyes at me if I mention my weight even if this is the heaviest I've ever been before. Just the other day we ordered a tiramisu that was this huge portion and one of my coworkers told me that I had to eat it all because "I'm a damn skinny 26 year old".

The obvious solution is to get you fat then.

I think fatphobia exists, but I also think that the particular kind of attitude displayed by some people towards fat people is also displayed by some fat people toward thin people. When that stupid song by that blonde chick came out about bass, it felt like I couldn't open facebook without there being some kind of meme about how skinny mermaids can't have sex or boys like boobs and fat people have more boob or how marilyn monroe was fat and the thing that pissed me off the most is that BLONDE CHICK ISN'T THAT FAT. It took me a while to realize that the reason I didn't think she was fat is because my perception of weight is skewed by reality and I was shocked by the number of "skinny" (probably healthy weight) people when I went to Canada.

This is actually pretty terrifying - like with a fat acceptance movement does it not worry anyone else that we've become used to seeing people be specific sizes to the point where someone who's overweight looks normal because that's the average?

Edited by DonJonathan, 11 June 2016 - 07:14 AM.

[NapisaurusRex]

This is actually pretty terrifying - like with a fat acceptance movement does it not worry anyone else that we've become used to seeing people be specific sizes to the point where someone who's overweight looks normal because that's the average?

It bothers me more than it used to. On the other side of used to seeing overweight people as average, on a normal day my pant size is as small as a 2 and as big as an 8 depending on what brand I choose to wear and that bothers me just as much because it adds to the problem.

[Nanarie]

It bothers me more than it used to. On the other side of used to seeing overweight people as average, on a normal day my pant size is as small as a 2 and as big as an 8 depending on what brand I choose to wear and that bothers me just as much because it adds to the problem.

 

This bothers me as well. It would be much easier if everything went by size in inches (or cm, if you don't live in the US). Instead you have people terrified of going up a size and being obsessed with an arbitrary number or denying their weight gain/lack of attention to their health.

[Ladida]

This bothers me as well. It would be much easier if everything went by size in inches (or cm, if you don't live in the US). Instead you have people terrified of going up a size and being obsessed with an arbitrary number or denying their weight gain/lack of attention to their health.

This bugged the Hell out of me for jeans. I had a friend who was 00 and was trying to get to 000. What the fuck? I've really only noticed the stupid number sizes on pants, whereas pretty much all the shirts I've bought just say medium and run approximately the same in size (from Canada anyway). I've abandoned jeans altogether because getting clothes tailored is the norm where I live. No more claustrophobic, tight, clingy bottoms! I'm so thankful for that!

[Nanarie]

This bugged the Hell out of me for jeans. I had a friend who was 00 and was trying to get to 000. What the fuck? I've really only noticed the stupid number sizes on pants, whereas pretty much all the shirts I've bought just say medium and run approximately the same in size (from Canada anyway). I've abandoned jeans altogether because getting clothes tailored is the norm where I live. No more claustrophobic, tight, clingy bottoms! I'm so thankful for that!

 

Yep, I was a 00 in high school and was devastated when I couldn't fit into them anymore (back when I was obsessed with weight and overall a lot unhealthier and unhappier than I am now). Then I discovered leggings and was like, wtf fuck this noise and now my pants have to be stretchy or I can't wear them. It's also a pain in the ass to buy jeans with sizes online, I only buy them if they go by waist size in inches. 

[howaboutthat]

Oh, I just remembered. Someone here once posted in the confessions thread iirc that they "would never date someone fat because if they don't take care of themselves, they can't take care of someone else". Ugh.

 

I think that is a common misconception for overweight people.  My daughter is very heavy, and she has to deal with these perceptions on a daily basis.  It's funny, because if she were missing limbs, or was horribly scarred, people might stare, but they wouldn't jump to conclusions like they do with overweight.  For that, they might even extend a little sympathy.   

[Dollars]

As a 6 foot male who is around 150 pounds, I have noticed it is completely acceptable to comment on me being thin, I don't think this would be as much the case if I were overweight or female. I realize that perhaps this is because thin males haven't been discriminated against quite as long and don't have quite as much criticism and influences in the media telling males/thin people they have to look a certain way, but I still find it is a double standard. Overweight celebrities are allowed to make fun of models/thin people and are praised but if a thin celebrity commented on an overweight celebrities appearance there would be immense backlash(See almost any Melissa McCarthy interview). To clarify, I don't think it is anyone's business to comment on the appearance/health of anyone they aren't in a personal relationship with, and obviously weight isn't a good measure of overall health, but it is definitely almost completely socially acceptable to call me skinny but it would not be to call me fat.

[duhitsme]

Thin privilege is most definitely a thing.  I have been subject to the harshness of this reality most of my life.  I fully agree with the statements above about being overweight not directly relating to being unhealthy and I'd like to add that the BMI scale is so useless in determining health standards as well.

Edited by duhitsme, 21 June 2016 - 06:40 PM.