102 replies to this topic

[Mishelle]

As a 6 foot male who is around 150 pounds, I have noticed it is completely acceptable to comment on me being thin, I don't think this would be as much the case if I were overweight or female. I realize that perhaps this is because thin males haven't been discriminated against quite as long and don't have quite as much criticism and influences in the media telling males/thin people they have to look a certain way, but I still find it is a double standard. Overweight celebrities are allowed to make fun of models/thin people and are praised but if a thin celebrity commented on an overweight celebrities appearance there would be immense backlash(See almost any Melissa McCarthy interview). To clarify, I don't think it is anyone's business to comment on the appearance/health of anyone they aren't in a personal relationship with, and obviously weight isn't a good measure of overall health, but it is definitely almost completely socially acceptable to call me skinny but it would not be to call me fat.

 

I agree that people just shouldn't make comments on other people's bodies but idg this idea that it's societal unacceptable to call a woman fat or talk about their size. I've seen it happen all the time to women I know including myself. My friend and I were getting on the bus and out of no where this guy walked up to us and started telling my friend how his daughter lost weight and how she should try it. I was walking with my other friend and a stranger said to her husband "wow, how does she even go outside looking like that." When I went back home to LA my mom's boyfriend said that I was getting fat and he was going to buy me a gym membership (he never did, he just wanted a reason to call me fat). Also Daria showed me a link of this man in Australia who decided to take a woman's Tinder profile and post it publicly for other men to make fun of her weight and tear her down. It happens a lot more often than people may think.

 

edit: found the link to the article

https://au.news.yaho...ind-bars/#page1

[Nanarie]

I agree that people just shouldn't make comments on other people's bodies but idg this idea that it's societal unacceptable to call a woman fat or talk about their size. 

 

I think what he means is that a person who thinks talking about a woman's size is rude, may find it less unacceptable to talk about a man's size and being thin. 

[cara]

Jeez I think everyone needs to mind their own business these days. Who cares about anyone else's weight? Not your body, not your business.

And for those of you saying you would express concern to your loved ones if they are morbidly obese - you think that'll change anything other than making yourself feel good? As a smoker, I absolutely LOVE when people tell me smoking is bad. It's the best. It's almost like the average person doesn't know that smoking is bad and being overweight is unhealthy and we need you to enlighten us.

[Ladida]

Jeez I think everyone needs to mind their own business these days. Who cares about anyone else's weight? Not your body, not your business.

And for those of you saying you would express concern to your loved ones if they are morbidly obese - you think that'll change anything other than making yourself feel good? As a smoker, I absolutely LOVE when people tell me smoking is bad. It's the best. It's almost like the average person doesn't know that smoking is bad and being overweight is unhealthy and we need you to enlighten us.

I guess this doesn't work for everyone.. I usually go into denial about when I put on extra weight, and I don't actively do anything about it even though I should. But then, when my mom points it out (especially when it's due to my terrible junk food binges), it brings me back to reality, and I realize that the extra weight is visible to others, which must mean that I've put on more than is considered healthy (since I'm usually on the higher end of the acceptable weight range for my height). That's enough to kick me into gear til I lose the weight, and then the cycle starts again. If she pretended that I wasn't gaining any weight either, I probably would be way bigger right now.

Edited by Ladida, 21 June 2016 - 11:13 PM.

[Karla]

Thin privilege is definitely a thing here. I remember being skinny once and my family would always compliment on my appearance, but when I started putting on weight and struggled to lose it, they can't help but scold me on "how fat I look."

 

Beauty standards have pretty much burned in our minds that thin is the best look and you're completely normal, while fat/obese is bad and you should be ashamed. I can understand people trying to lose weight to be healthier, but a person's beauty or character shouldn't be judged by their weight.

[cara]

I guess this doesn't work for everyone.. I usually go into denial about when I put on extra weight, and I don't actively do anything about it even though I should. But then, when my mom points it out (especially when it's due to my terrible junk food binges), it brings me back to reality, and I realize that the extra weight is visible to others, which must mean that I've put on more than is considered healthy (since I'm usually on the higher end of the acceptable weight range for my height). That's enough to kick me into gear til I lose the weight, and then the cycle starts again. If she pretended that I wasn't gaining any weight either, I probably would be way bigger right now.

Forgetting the fact that it appears as though she is not preaching love, health and self-acceptance, do you think that your dependency on your mother is beneficial to you? Unfortunately one day your mother is going to die, leaving you with two options. 1) You replace her with a scale or 2) you become obese until someone else comes along to monitor your weight because you are unable, for whatever reason, to do so yourself?

If your mom saying 'hey fatty, you're gaining weight and we all notice' (hopefully I'm exaggerating here) is working for you, then I guess that's great. But it definitely does not persuade me into thinking that it's beneficial for you.

[Ladida]

Forgetting the fact that it appears as though she is not preaching love, health and self-acceptance, do you think that your dependency on your mother is beneficial to you? Unfortunately one day your mother is going to die, leaving you with two options. 1) You replace her with a scale or 2) you become obese until someone else comes along to monitor your weight because you are unable, for whatever reason, to do so yourself?

If your mom saying 'hey fatty, you're gaining weight and we all notice' (hopefully I'm exaggerating here) is working for you, then I guess that's great. But it definitely does not persuade me into thinking that it's beneficial for you.

She definitely didn't and doesn't say it like that It's more along the lines of reminding me what my chances are of developing some horrendous illness based on my family history if I didn't take care of myself. When I was younger, I used to think stuff like that could never happen to me, so I didn't pay it too much attention. We tend to think we're invincible before we hit 30 somehow! Over those years, her influence did prevent me from gaining excessive weight, and did cultivate some amount of good dietary habits. I figure she's given me a bit of a headstart with that. I'm at an age now where I'm seeing the ill effects of poor diet in other family members, having to rush them to the ER and wonder if they're going to die in there, so that also works to help me toe the line. Undoubtedly, I might go out of control weight-wise if I'm not responsible and she's not there to bring me down to earth, but I hope I've learnt enough about myself to see the warning signs and take some action about them, even without her gentle nudges :-)

[Coops]

Jeez I think everyone needs to mind their own business these days. Who cares about anyone else's weight? Not your body, not your business.

And for those of you saying you would express concern to your loved ones if they are morbidly obese - you think that'll change anything other than making yourself feel good? As a smoker, I absolutely LOVE when people tell me smoking is bad. It's the best. It's almost like the average person doesn't know that smoking is bad and being overweight is unhealthy and we need you to enlighten us.

I hate when people do that too. That self-righteous health crap irritates the shit out of me.

 

My husband smokes rarely, and vapes primarily. He goes through stages of self-shaming because he knows it's bad for him - but I never try to tell him to quit. Yeah, I'd like him to quit, but he's a grown-ass adult. He can take responsibility for his actions. And that's what I tell him. I say, well, if you want to quit, great I'll support you, if not, I'll understand. Just don't smoke cigarettes in the house, car, or near the cats. And don't blow vape smoke at the cats and we're good.

[Tammy]

I hate when people do that too. That self-righteous health crap irritates the shit out of me.

 

My husband smokes rarely, and vapes primarily. He goes through stages of self-shaming because he knows it's bad for him - but I never try to tell him to quit. Yeah, I'd like him to quit, but he's a grown-ass adult. He can take responsibility for his actions. And that's what I tell him. I say, well, if you want to quit, great I'll support you, if not, I'll understand. Just don't smoke cigarettes in the house, car, or near the cats. And don't blow vape smoke at the cats and we're good.

 

The Cats are clearly your main priority here

[Coops]

The Cats are clearly your main priority here

Cats have little baby cat lungs. *-*

[cara]

I hate when people do that too. That self-righteous health crap irritates the shit out of me.

 

My husband smokes rarely, and vapes primarily. He goes through stages of self-shaming because he knows it's bad for him - but I never try to tell him to quit. Yeah, I'd like him to quit, but he's a grown-ass adult. He can take responsibility for his actions. And that's what I tell him. I say, well, if you want to quit, great I'll support you, if not, I'll understand. Just don't smoke cigarettes in the house, car, or near the cats. And don't blow vape smoke at the cats and we're good.

 

Yeah, I never know how to respond to people who tell me smoking is unhealthy because I can hardly take them seriously.

 

Wellp, much like me, your husband is an addict. As you know, he will have good days and bad days. And I think you're approach is perfect - if he doesn't want to quit, then he won't. You trying to force him might cause more harm than good. I don't think most people understand that, though.

[Coops]

Yeah, I never know how to respond to people who tell me smoking is unhealthy because I can hardly take them seriously.

 

Wellp, much like me, your husband is an addict. As you know, he will have good days and bad days. And I think you're approach is perfect - if he doesn't want to quit, then he won't. You trying to force him might cause more harm than good. I don't think most people understand that, though.

I don't really care if he's addicted - sounds heartless, but it is what it is. I'm not going to mother him over one of the arguably less horrible addictions he could have. He knows how I feel. I don't like the smell, but otherwise, I'm just like 'you do you, booboo'. He vapes mostly. When he quit vaping, he picked up cigarettes for when work was really stressful, so he'd smoke once every few days or once a weekish. Sometimes a couple a day, then none for awhile. 

 

Somewhat on-topic, here is my favorite video that does a great job of breaking down addiction:

[MozzarellaSticks]

I believe there's hardships fat people face, but I can't call it terrible. Being fat is something people can help, it's not something that they just are or have. I'm also all for people loving their bodies, but we have to recognize that there IS an obesity problem, and that being obese is not healthy.

I don't think there's thin privilege. You're not privileged for being thin. There's a beauty privilege for those conventionally pretty, though. Not exactly something people can help there.

Edited by MozzarellaSticks, 11 July 2016 - 08:55 PM.

[Padme]

I don't think there's thin privilege. You're not privileged for being thin. There's a beauty privilege for those conventionally pretty, though. Not exactly something people can help there.

 

Why do you think people aren't privileged for being thin? There's a lot of people who can't help that their thin the same way people can't help it if they're 'beautiful.' There is definitely thin privilege. If you think there is beauty privilege and not thin privilege, I don't even know where to start.

They know people are nicer and more tolerant of thinner individuals.

There's been a ton of social experiments. Interesting tho that you think there is no such thing as thin privilege.

[MozzarellaSticks]

Why do you think people aren't privileged for being thin? There's a lot of people who can't help that their thin the same way people can't help it if they're 'beautiful.' There is definitely thin privilege. If you think there is beauty privilege and not thin privilege, I don't even know where to start.
They know people are nicer and more tolerant of thinner individuals.
There's been a ton of social experiments. Interesting tho that you think there is no such thing as thin privilege.

What do you mean there are people that can't help being thin?

I don't see being thin and unattractive people getting privilege, to be honest. They're not really given much of anything as an advantage, and they're often insulted. It's thin and beautiful people that tend to have an advantage, and that's mostly due to their looks.

[Padme]

What do you mean there are people that can't help being thin?

I don't see being thin and unattractive people getting privilege, to be honest. They're not really given much of anything as an advantage, and they're often insulted. It's thin and beautiful people that tend to have an advantage, and that's mostly due to their looks.

 

There are plenty of people who have issues keeping weight on. The same way people who have issues losing weight. It goes both ways. There is a lot more scientific and medical research done into what makes people overweight but there are still many issues which cause people to be thin usually people call this 'fast metabolism.'

 

Just because YOU don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It really isn't that difficult to see though if you're really looking. Most of the people who say that thin privilege doesn't exist are typically thin people. Go walk around in a fat suit then walk around as a thin person and you'll see it. 

 

On top of all of that you have the entire fashion industry which builds itself up around thin people; clothing is designed for thin people and usually doesn't flatter larger people at all. You have multiple industries that cater and are designed to helping the average sized or thin person. You have people who aren't even that big but can hardly fit in airline seats, car seats, etc. 

 

The world is designed around the average or idealized person in every regard. That's just how it is. 

[Coops]

What do you mean there are people that can't help being thin?

I don't see being thin and unattractive people getting privilege, to be honest. They're not really given much of anything as an advantage, and they're often insulted. It's thin and beautiful people that tend to have an advantage, and that's mostly due to their looks.

You're conflating the idea of privilege with people giving you things. When the reality is, privilege means nothing is being taken away, like a marginalized group. The things being taken away can be abstract concepts such as comfort, dignity, respect, or it can also be material, such as money.

[MozzarellaSticks]

There are plenty of people who have issues keeping weight on. The same way people who have issues losing weight. It goes both ways. There is a lot more scientific and medical research done into what makes people overweight but there are still many issues which cause people to be thin usually people call this 'fast metabolism.'

Just because YOU don't see it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It really isn't that difficult to see though if you're really looking. Most of the people who say that thin privilege doesn't exist are typically thin people. Go walk around in a fat suit then walk around as a thin person and you'll see it.

On top of all of that you have the entire fashion industry which builds itself up around thin people; clothing is designed for thin people and usually doesn't flatter larger people at all. You have multiple industries that cater and are designed to helping the average sized or thin person. You have people who aren't even that big but can hardly fit in airline seats, car seats, etc.

The world is designed around the average or idealized person in every regard. That's just how it is.

Can I get some names of medical conditions?

Fashion isn't built on thin people. Fashion is built on mass production. Clothes don't fit anyone well because they're not made to fit everyone. They're just made to fit. Things need to be tailor made in order to fit anyone true. It's not a fat specific issue at all.

The average person is now overweight, so the world would be therefore designed around fat. But it's not. The world is designed around profit margins. The reason spaces are smal is because it fits more spaces, not because it's for thin people. It's not made for thin people, but for more sales.

You're conflating the idea of privilege with people giving you things. When the reality is, privilege means nothing is being taken away, like a marginalized group. The things being taken away can be abstract concepts such as comfort, dignity, respect, or it can also be material, such as money.

Not really, no. It's not about give or take. It's about the fact that weight is within one's control.

Edited by MozzarellaSticks, 13 July 2016 - 07:11 PM.

[Padme]

Can I get some names of medical conditions?

Fashion isn't built on thin people. Fashion is built on mass production. Clothes don't fit anyone well because they're not made to fit everyone. They're just made to fit. Things need to be tailor made in order to fit anyone true. It's not a fat specific issue at all.

The average person is now overweight, so the world would be therefore designed around fat. But it's not. The world is designed around profit margins. The reason spaces are smal is because it fits more spaces, not because it's for thin people. It's not made for thin people, but for more sales.
 

 

Anything which causes malasbortion, there are many. Some people just have high 'metabolic rates.' Other times some conditions cause people to lose weight instead of gain weight. Feel free to google them.

 

The fashion industry is literally built on thin people. Up until VERY recently all new fashion models were stick thin.  

 

I'm not even gonna bother going further on this. 

[Tetiel]

Disorders include hyperthyroidism, inflamed tonsils, appendix problems, dysmenorrhea, ovarian cysts, cancer, intestinal parasites, stress in certain individuals, viral infections, bacterial infections, intestinal disorders like Crohns which cause malabsorbtion of nutrients, celiac disease, gastroparesis, and the disorder that I have called Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. Considering 90% of serotonin is utilized in the digestive tract to cause peristalsis, mood disorders can cause problems with digestion such as IBS which is why it has such a high comorbidity with depression and anxiety.

Thin runs in my family but didn't necessarily reach me. My father's side had all boys that were incredibly athletic and rail thin. My sister was the same way. When she was 16 she had tonsil problems on top of it until she got the removed and once was 5'10" and 118 pounds. She was always teased and accused of being anorexic despite what I knew where she ate like a ravenous dog whenever she came home from track or cross country. She was hypoglycemic and genuinely couldn't get enough calories in her sometimes to support her basal metabolic rate.

Hopefully those genuine medical conditions and my own anecdote help understand that yes, some people are genuinely that thin and really, really wish they weren't.

[Coops]

Can I get some names of medical conditions?
Fashion isn't built on thin people. Fashion is built on mass production. Clothes don't fit anyone well because they're not made to fit everyone. They're just made to fit. Things need to be tailor made in order to fit anyone true. It's not a fat specific issue at all.
The average person is now overweight, so the world would be therefore designed around fat. But it's not. The world is designed around profit margins. The reason spaces are smal is because it fits more spaces, not because it's for thin people. It's not made for thin people, but for more sales.Not really, no. It's not about give or take. It's about the fact that weight is within one's control.

Except that you said above that they aren't given anything. So, to you, privileged is about getting something.

And weight isn't always in someone's control. I know a few people on feeding tubes because they have gastroporesis like @Tetiel mentioned.

[Dont]

Has anyone stopped and tried to think about this from a natural selection standpoint?

 

Not to dehumanize us as a whole, but we have to be aware of nature when having discussions like this.

[Adam]

Has anyone stopped and tried to think about this from a natural selection standpoint?

 

Not to dehumanize us as a whole, but we have to be aware of nature when having discussions like this.

Please elaborate -- I'm intrigued.

[Dont]

DISCLAIMER : this doesn't completely summarize my personal opinion.

 

 

But is it wrong for someone to see someone morbidly obese and get an assumption from it? Whatever it may be... no I don't feel it is.

Now treating someone better/worse because of said assumption is a different story.

 

But in nature, how does one select its mate? Aside from humans... think about it. It varies yeah, but the weaker candidate doesn't have the odds on it's side.

 

 

I guess what I'm saying is among all of the species on this planet, we should be thankful for even being intelligent enough to grasp deeper understanding, especially when dealing with one another.

To say that this doesn't spawn from something completely natural is false to me.

I'm just grateful that we're to the point where we can deny what comes natural.

 

That in itself is kind of crazy to me.

 

If I was crab with one claw, i'd be fucked.

Edited by Dont, 14 July 2016 - 06:16 AM.

[MozzarellaSticks]

Anything which causes malasbortion, there are many. Some people just have high 'metabolic rates.' Other times some conditions cause people to lose weight instead of gain weight. Feel free to google them.

The fashion industry is literally built on thin people. Up until VERY recently all new fashion models were stick thin.

I'm not even gonna bother going further on this.

I'm genuinely curious. Name the actual conditions. There are tons, so it should be easy, right? The whole idea of making someone else research it themselves kind of makes it seem as if you never have researched it yourself. I can't find a common medical condition that would cause someone to be severely underweight with treatment. Size is very much still within the average person's control. A medical condition would relate more to able bodied privilege than thin privilege.

If we're talking about fashion shows, you have to realize that's art. The designer cares more about the look than the buyer. They're artists. Model shapes come and go in fads, just like any form of art. Most of what goes into runways during fashion week isn't meant to be worn by anyone, it's a statement piece. You really can't compare them to everyday dress. If you're talking about advertising, nobody looks like the models in advertising, not even thin people. I'm very against unrealistic expectations, but I don't equate it with thin privilege. It's an issue that affects everyone, and dividing it between fat and thin negates the bigger issue itself.

Maybe it makes more sense to you now. I don't believe thin privilege exists because the examples of it are usually examples of some other sociatal problem masqueraded. It's taking away from the actual issue because you just divide the people affected by the problem.

Disorders include hyperthyroidism, inflamed tonsils, appendix problems, dysmenorrhea, ovarian cysts, cancer, intestinal parasites, stress in certain individuals, viral infections, bacterial infections, intestinal disorders like Crohns which cause malabsorbtion of nutrients, celiac disease, gastroparesis, and the disorder that I have called Cyclical Vomiting Syndrome. Considering 90% of serotonin is utilized in the digestive tract to cause peristalsis, mood disorders can cause problems with digestion such as IBS which is why it has such a high comorbidity with depression and anxiety.

Thin runs in my family but didn't necessarily reach me. My father's side had all boys that were incredibly athletic and rail thin. My sister was the same way. When she was 16 she had tonsil problems on top of it until she got the removed and once was 5'10" and 118 pounds. She was always teased and accused of being anorexic despite what I knew where she ate like a ravenous dog whenever she came home from track or cross country. She was hypoglycemic and genuinely couldn't get enough calories in her sometimes to support her basal metabolic rate.

Hopefully those genuine medical conditions and my own anecdote help understand that yes, some people are genuinely that thin and really, really wish they weren't.

No common medical conditions would cause anything significant while under treatment or when in remission. You can still gain weight. It's harder, yes, but still very much a possibility. When medical conditions that can do so to someone are ignored, its more of an able bodied problem than a body size problem. These medical conditions are (thankfully) not common, but I do conceded they exist. I don't see them as privilege.

Your sister is anecdotal, but she clearly wasn't eating right. Hypoglycemia is a medical condition she should have been seeing a dietician for. People do have different basal metabolic rates, which just means every person has to adjust according to their own needs. It's something people should be aware of, and something they very much can work around.

Except that you said above that they aren't given anything. So, to you, privileged is about getting something.

And weight isn't always in someone's control. I know a few people on feeding tubes because they have gastroporesis like @Tetiel mentioned.

Not always, but it's not exactly common for weight not to be in someone's control. The average person does not have gastroporesis. It's a rare disease.

Not given in the sense that someone is handed over privilege. Given like the invsivle knapsack. People with privilege are given advantages by that privilege itself.

I'm kind of curious what your definition of privilege is now. I've seen so many different ones. It seems like everyone has their own idea of what privilege means.

Edited by MozzarellaSticks, 14 July 2016 - 11:55 AM.