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#1 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 06:26 AM

I was thinking, because of recent events, people should come to know what the LGBT community is like. Rather than assuming, and inflicting violence. 

 

This thread is dedicated to LGBT+ people answering your questions, and hearing their voices. (Though, personally I won't be answering personal ones about myself, others may however.)

 

I know some of you are probably thinking. "OH GOD, IS AMETHYST IS AN SJW?!" 

 

Nope. I'm not. This is a place to get genuine answers without judgment, rudeness, or hearing about how you're so much more privileged than the community as a whole. 

 

Anyone can answer questions relating to their gender/sexuality, anyone can ask. Just please remain kind and civil. 



#2 Ellea

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 07:21 AM

I'd be glad to help out with answering what I can for this :)



#3 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 07:24 AM

I'd be glad to help out with answering what I can for this :)

 

Thanks, I will be too :p Hopefully some good comes of this thread.



#4 Kitty

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 08:14 AM

A transgender person had stubble but shaved their legs? Why? Lazyness? btw i'm sure they were long hair.. shaved legs and adams apple :p oh and long bad blonde hair dyed.

 

+the worse dress I'd ever seen like bad old lady pattern


Edited by Kitty, 18 June 2016 - 08:23 AM.


#5 Tidalzombies

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 08:53 AM

A transgender person had stubble but shaved their legs? Why? Lazyness? btw i'm sure they were long hair.. shaved legs and adams apple :p oh and long bad blonde hair dyed.

 

+the worse dress I'd ever seen like bad old lady pattern

 

One thing that's important to know is not everyone feels the need to conform to typical beauty 'standards'. As a gay male, I've shaved my legs before while still having the occasionally stubble - it's simply just a preference. 

 

About your question, not everyone who is trans* is 'passable'. It's a very touchy subject within the community and the cause of many insults/arguments.



#6 Adam

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 10:00 AM

I've often hoped that a topic like this would come around, and I'm glad it has. As a hetero/kinda pansexual/comfortable in skin [CIS] male there are so many things I just don't understand that I want to. However, I've tried to ask questions to further my understanding before, on Codex, but I've been insulted, and sworn at by a few specific people. It may have been that in my younger years I wasn't so understanding, or accepting, and I may have worded my questions in a way that offended others. That being said, I'll just PM my questions to people.



#7 Amarillo

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 10:07 AM

im available to answer your question people :p



#8 Bendyounet

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 10:19 AM

I'm glad to see this topic :) Where I live gay/trans/other-and-what-you-want are officially accepted, but there is still a lot of discrimination and unspoken... For example gay marriage is allowed since two or three years, however we read in the newspapers that "gay people were beaten" and so on... In school, young gays students hide their 'sexual side' because they don't want to be judged and be denied by the others. 

 

Small parenthesis aside, you can PM me your questions if you want, i'm really open-minded  ;)



#9 Keil

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 10:29 AM

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted Christian Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted LGBTQ+ Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

#10 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 10:48 AM

I've often hoped that a topic like this would come around, and I'm glad it has. As a hetero/kinda pansexual/comfortable in skin [CIS] male there are so many things I just don't understand that I want to. However, I've tried to ask questions to further my understanding before, on Codex, but I've been insulted, and sworn at by a few specific people. It may have been that in my younger years I wasn't so understanding, or accepting, and I may have worded my questions in a way that offended others. That being said, I'll just PM my questions to people.

 

I really hate that the community meets people with questions with hostility. How do we ever expect people to understand us. if we don't teach them about us? As anything you like here. I'm sure staff will deal with harassment if it happens. Feel free to ask anything on this thread :) 

 

 

One thing that's important to know is not everyone feels the need to conform to typical beauty 'standards'. As a gay male, I've shaved my legs before while still having the occasionally stubble - it's simply just a preference. 

 

About your question, not everyone who is trans* is 'passable'. It's a very touchy subject within the community and the cause of many insults/arguments.

 

Answered that better than I could have :p

 

 

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted Christian Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted LGBTQ+ Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

 

In both cases, I'd try to have a civil conversation with the person, and let them know. I don't know details beyond that so I'm not sure how to assist further. But I feel like trying to talk to the person who means well, would have a lot more affect than anything else.



#11 Ellea

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 11:02 AM

I really hate that the community meets people with questions with hostility. How do we ever expect people to understand us. if we don't teach them about us? As anything you like here. I'm sure staff will deal with harassment if it happens. Feel free to ask anything on this thread :)

 

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. One can, the vast majority of the time, differentiate between people who are actively trying to be hurtful and those who genuinely want to learn and understand, so why react to the well-meaning but perhaps not fully educated people with aggression? 



#12 FelisNoctua

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 11:34 AM

I've often hoped that a topic like this would come around, and I'm glad it has. As a hetero/kinda pansexual/comfortable in skin [CIS] male there are so many things I just don't understand that I want to. However, I've tried to ask questions to further my understanding before, on Codex, but I've been insulted, and sworn at by a few specific people. It may have been that in my younger years I wasn't so understanding, or accepting, and I may have worded my questions in a way that offended others. That being said, I'll just PM my questions to people.

:( I'm sorry you had that experience. Just goes to show that LGBT people are just like regular people: some are jerks. :p

 

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted Christian Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted LGBTQ+ Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

Sigh, I have such terrifying thoughts at what you mean by these folks. In my mind, that Christian isn't put off by LGBT, but possibly hints that they pray someone grows out of it. Sort of the "God made you this way, as a test, and by loving Jesus you can grow out of it" person.

 

I'm not sure of an example for the reciprocal LGBTQ+ activist, but my reply is the same for both of them:

Let them know that you appreciate their open-mindedness (or whatever you mean by non-bigoted) but you're just not interested in what they're selling. If something they're doing is making you or someone around you uncomfortable frequently or makes you feel unsafe, tell them! If they really are well meaning, they'll probably try to scale back whatever it is. If they get offended or angry, perhaps they weren't as well meaning as you'd hoped to believe. :/



#13 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 12:03 PM

This is one of my biggest pet peeves. One can, the vast majority of the time, differentiate between people who are actively trying to be hurtful and those who genuinely want to learn and understand, so why react to the well-meaning but perhaps not fully educated people with aggression? 

 

That was actually my idea behind this thread. Those people claim they want the hate against us to end, but if they don't educate, and show a little humanity how the fuck is that ever going to happen? It gives people the idea that we're overly sensitive, and can't handle any kind of questioning, or anything. Most times, misuse of terms and whatnot are just from not knowing any better. Education is the best way to go in these situations, people want to understand. 



#14 Kaddict

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 12:11 PM

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted Christian Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

How would one go about dealing with a non-bigoted LGBTQ+ Activist who means well, but their actions leaves much to be desired?

This. I feel like these conversations are almost never civil because someone falls into one of these categories (or worse). 



#15 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 12:12 PM

This. I feel like these conversations are almost never civil because someone falls into one of these categories (or worse). 

 

I disagree a bit. If they're non bigoted, and want to do good, but their actions are lacking. Then they can be civil in a conversation. 

Though if they're bigoted, stubborn, or just don't really care. It won't go well.



#16 Shane

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 05:09 PM

I am glad this thread is here. :)

#17 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 08:55 PM

I am glad this thread is here. :)

 

Thanks :) Have any questions?



#18 Ladida

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 09:05 PM

I tried to think of a relevant question, but I can't think of any.. Because in my eyes, people are people. Their wants, needs, preferences are their own. I can't imagine having to justify why I have certain innate biological preferences, and be looked down upon because they aren't in line with society's views. I couldn't think of a question, because everyone - regardless of their preferences - are human, just like I am. But I guess I have to ask you something! :p What's the weather like? :p

 

Major support to our LGBT+ community on Codex, I hope you continue having the strength to be who you are <3



#19 Keil

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 09:18 PM

NEW QUESTION!

 

Context: The person addressed (Roxxxy Andrews) in this tweet had lost a relative in the Pulse Shooting.

 

wyBbCu9.png

 

kveAzZZ.png

 

Question: Assuming that you read these two social media poss and you are forced to stand next to him for 5 minutes, what would you say (not say if you prefer to stay quiet) to him?



#20 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 09:52 PM

NEW QUESTION!

 

Context: The person addressed (Roxxxy Andrews) in this tweet had lost a relative in the Pulse Shooting.

 

wyBbCu9.png

 

kveAzZZ.png

 

Question: Assuming that you read these two social media poss and you are forced to stand next to him for 5 minutes, what would you say (not say if you prefer to stay quiet) to him?

 

I don't really see why there'd be a real reason to bring it up. Yeah, that was offensive as fuck, but if he doesn't realize that himself after that apology post. Then there's no point in really trying to show it to him. He wouldn't be able to see it anyway. 


I tried to think of a relevant question, but I can't think of any.. Because in my eyes, people are people. Their wants, needs, preferences are their own. I can't imagine having to justify why I have certain innate biological preferences, and be looked down upon because they aren't in line with society's views. I couldn't think of a question, because everyone - regardless of their preferences - are human, just like I am. But I guess I have to ask you something! :p What's the weather like? :p

 

Major support to our LGBT+ community on Codex, I hope you continue having the strength to be who you are <3

 

Thank you! I appreciate the support for this thread, I've been debating if it's a good idea for a few days now. And I think I made the right choice. 

And the weather is hot, and I'm miserable. Hate the heat.



#21 Keil

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 09:57 PM

I don't really see why there'd be a real reason to bring it up. Yeah, that was offensive as fuck, but if he doesn't realize that himself after that apology post. Then there's no point in really trying to show it to him. He wouldn't be able to see it anyway. 


You did not answer my question.

Or did you fail to say that you'll just stand there silently for 5 minutes in your reasoning?

#22 Amethyst

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 10:14 PM

You did not answer my question.

Or did you fail to say that you'll just stand there silently for 5 minutes in your reasoning?

 

I'd probably just talk to him about casual stuff. I wouldn't want to discuss the issue. If discussing the issue is the only option then I'd stay silent 



#23 Tidalzombies

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Posted 18 June 2016 - 11:45 PM

NEW QUESTION!

 

Context: The person addressed (Roxxxy Andrews) in this tweet had lost a relative in the Pulse Shooting.

 

wyBbCu9.png

 

kveAzZZ.png

 

Question: Assuming that you read these two social media poss and you are forced to stand next to him for 5 minutes, what would you say (not say if you prefer to stay quiet) to him?

 

I'd most likely stay silent, due to the fact that he knows what he did was wrong and extremely offensive.

 

If I did end up saying something, it would be something along the lines of the first amendment protecting free speech but not the consequences of his words. You simply can't expect people to respond to an attack (or what looks like one) so lightly. It was a tragedy and not time for jokes.



#24 cara

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Posted 19 June 2016 - 04:38 AM

I definitely fall under the 'uneducated' category and I absolutely do not care in the slightest about any of this. And unlike what someone above said, I don't think that being uneducated or uncaring means that I have any hate in my veins. I don't question or judge the choices of others in any capacity. I love you all and whoever you decide to love, and however you decide to love yourself, is freaking awesome with me. You go do you ... and whoever else you want to do. 

 

This thread is a general struggle for me because I don't think that a human being will ever be static enough to decide with certainty that they fit into one category and not the other. Nor do I find any comfort in trying to fit myself into one category. And by extension, I struggle to understand why people even want to categorize themselves. So I suppose my question to everyone who strongly identifies with a certain sexuality - why? Why label yourself? Does this entire idea of labeling and categorizing every type of sexual preference not promote segregation? 

 

But, I do appreciate the fact that I am often insensitive and believe that in my ideal world everyone would be pansexual.



#25 Sirius

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Posted 19 June 2016 - 05:17 AM

So I suppose my question to everyone who strongly identifies with a certain sexuality - why? Why label yourself? Does this entire idea of labeling and categorizing every type of sexual preference not promote segregation?

Initially, for myself, finding a label that I identified with was about validation: validation that I wasn't the only one to ever feel this way, validation that even though I do feel this way I'm deserving, validation that I'm not just some freak accident. I fully believe that sexuality in and of itself is fluid; I believe that every major stage of life has the ability to shift the sexuality of people in general but more so of myself. I've definitely gone from saying "I am THIS" to "I'm somewhere in between here and there, and sometimes it's as simple as depending on the day". But it's still, somewhat, about validation for me - when I explain how I feel to others, I have a word that shows THEM that I'm not just making something up to be "special".




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