15 replies to this topic

[Fikri]

one thing that left me feeling a little bummed about my parents is that they totally forgot to teach me how to hold a pen. i never realised it was an issue until one day my schoolmate told me, "dude, hold your pencil properly". by the time the realization hit me, it was already too late. i'm all grown up now and i can't really change the habit anymore. i have to withstand all the judgemental stares from strangers everytime i put down my signature on a piece of paper.

they also didn't bother telling their kids about sex. it's sort of a taboo subject where i'm at tho so i guess it's not that big of a deal. it's not like we can't google it ourselves...

i have 10 siblings and i'm the 7th child so i guess it's understandable how my parents often overlooked me while doling out all their attention and care. i won't hold it against them.

y'all should know the drill by now...

• is there something you wish your parents could've taught you?
• do you hold it against them for failing to be perfect parents?
• how are you going to avoid repeating the same mistakes to your own kids?

[Junjie]

You're getting better with your topic choices I think dear. I think this one is also good for a totm topic choice. 

 

I'm not sure if I want to raise kids myself. As for my own parents, I did really hold it against them in many ways for many things they apparently failed to teach me / equip me with / put in me that I didn't like / etc etc.

 

I eventually realised, though, that parents, being human like anyone else, would have things they missed out, or glaringly missed out / messed up, in their raising of their kids. Our life is up to us though, not when we are children and not really able to do that of course, but when we grow past childhood. Cos it really, really can't be the responsibility, ultimately, for teachers / parents / government / anyone else (up to a certain point) to be the ones who set us up for life. It doesn't really work out that way, it seems, however one feels about that.

[ThatNeoGuy]

Wow, I actually think about this all the time. 

 

I am 1st Generation American born. As we all know, health in the United States in not exactly the best in terms of food culture and obesity. In fact, I come from one of the most obese cities in this country. To be fair, my parents were new to this country and were absolutely amazed by all the food. On top of that, as foreign immigrants, they wanted to make life better for me so I wouldn't have to suffer like they would. Thus, they both took on two to three jobs at least, each. 

 

Do I blame them that all my meals were from McDonalds for a large portion of my life?  No I don't. They didn't have time to cook food for me or the money to eat out, so fast food was the most economical option allowed for us. While this was unavoidable for us, I wish they taught me how to be healthy. Because of the lifestyle I grew up with, I added to that statistic of obesity in my region. 

 

However, I have since lost 70 pounds since my highest weight, and I've learned how to live a healthy lifestyle regardless of the rough start I had.

 

The only way I can avoid repeating these mistakes with my future children is to lead by example and teach them the importance of a healthy life. (And scare them with unflattering pictures of me) 

[Elindoril]

Fucking anything.

I had very passive (and divorced) parents and I was always left to my own devices growing up. Had to learn everything on my own.

[Ali]

As with school, I got taught everything I needed. Well done parents.

[Rocket]

What I lacked learning in school my parents more than made up for. The four of them put together have a wide variety of things they know and I feel like from the perspective of a parent they taught me more than school ever did.

Except how to change a tire. They just tell me to call a someone else lol

[talbs]

I would say that I wish my dad taught me to work on cars, but I know I'd have been uninterested. He was a mechanic for all of his career, but all I can do when it comes to cars is fill up the gas tank and change a tire. I've changed spark plugs and windshield wipers before, but anything beyond that just aggravates me. One of my cars needs brakes and I've bought the supplies and watched 100 videos on YouTube, but I know I don't have the patience to give it a shot.

[arcanum]

i'm all grown up now and i can't really change the habit anymore. i have to withstand all the judgemental stares from strangers everytime i put down my signature on a piece of paper.

 

How do you hold it? I'm curious. I guess there is a "correct" way to do it, but I know so many people who hold their pens in so many different ways. I think whatever works for a person works for them. *shrug*

 

I wish my parents (specifically my father) had taught me to change a tire, drive a manual, and do my taxes. For a lot of my young adult life, my dad filed my taxes for me. And after that he was just like "meh, use tax act!" which is fine but idk wtf some of the stuff means lol

[Fikri]

How do you hold it? I'm curious. I guess there is a "correct" way to do it, but I know so many people who hold their pens in so many different ways. I think whatever works for a person works for them. *shrug*

 

hold up. so you're saying i'm not special?

jk. this is how i hold a pen:

[Nanarie]

hold up. so you're saying i'm not special?

 

I also hold my pens wrong (my thumb is tucked under my index finger), and my writing looks like shit because of it. 

 

I wish my parents taught me what it means to be treated with respect, idk how to word it. Both my parents are extremely judgmental people that like to find fault in everything, including each other. I never had an example of healthy human interaction, I guess. 

[Bee]

My parents were (and are) good at teaching me stuff. I learnt everything from saving money from my mum to fixing faulty plumbing and gadgets from my dad. I actually learnt about periods from my dad because my mum had travelled when I started and I was like wtf is this omg I'm gonna die. The only thing I'm clueless about really is cars, and that's because I don't have much of an interest in them besides how fast they go.

[Ladida]

My parents are in academia, so they've given me a good grounding in that sort of thing. My mom did teach me how to do taxes, so that's not on my list Anything numbers-related, they've done a great job with.

 

In real life aspects, they're a bit oblivious. I wish they taught me how to interact comfortably in social settings, how to cook what we eat because they have their recipes in their heads, how to take care of my skin and how to choose and do my makeup properly, how to determine what kind of wood furniture is made of before spending a bunch of money on it.

 

Things like which fork to use when, how to care for leather items, home and hardware repairs are things I've learnt through necessity or trial and error. It would have made it easier if they had taught me, but some of things they felt weren't necessary, and some they didn't know. I do have a friend who knows TONS of real-world things, like how to remove paint smudges from surfaces without removing the paint underneath, and how to refurbish furniture, so I've been trying to absorb her knowledge.

[Dexternaut]

I have the same problem when writing, with the exception that my middle finger ends up hurting. ;;

 

I wish my parents weren't that over-protective at the point where I was interested on cooking and got a "NO, YOU'RE GONNA GET HURT", so I mostly learned everything by myself.

 

Paperwork and tying shoes correctly and nice are just things from hell.

[Swar]

My parents taught (and tried to teach) me pretty much everything I think it's necessary. Most of the times I was the one not interested in learning


But if there's one thing I wish they taught me... tying shoes. I mean, I know how to do the bunny ears and the regular tie, but I'm way too slow with the regular one, so I feel like I'm not doing completely right. I hate when people ask me to tie their shoes because of how slow I am xD

[Coops]

It would have been nice for them to teach me that I'm a human being deserving of a modicum of respect because I'm a living, breathing, feeling person. 

[warhound]

How to ride a bike. My parents were not great (I was raised by my grandparents instead for a lot of my childhood) so I had to teach myself a lot of things, but learning how to ride a bike is something that's a hell of a lot easier for a kid than an adult. Closer to the ground.