84 replies to this topic

[NapisaurusRex]

• "These women never heard of breastfeeding bras?!?"

I think it's hilarious that people even recommend this as a solution. Have you seen those things? It doesn't get kinkier than a breastfeeding bra. Especially once you attach a baby.

 

My questions are:

• What do you feel about public breastfeeding?
• Did you ever do it? Did you hear anyone against it/nasty looks/etc. when you did it? If yes, how did you react?

 

I think it's great and we should be encouraging mothers to feed their children in the way that is best for them and the child. There are too many children not getting fed in the world at all to be upset about them getting fed. I didn't do it. With the oldest monster, I was in a training hospital and had a couple of nipple shaming cunts with no bedside manner and breastfed for a day. With the youngest middle monster, I didn't leave the house before she switched to formula. 

Also I want to point out that everyone has built in breastfeeding covers. They're commonly known as "eyelids".

[Sirius]

I'm all for feeding babies in public, no matter which method the mother uses, because it means I don't have to listen to screaming kids. More specifically to this thread, I've never understood the hypersexualization of a woman's breasts so it doesn't bother me in the least to see it. I have no children so I can't say if I have done it or would do it.

[Coops]

Alright. Guess it can just kind of seem like "frying" when anyone who disagrees is analyzed and expected to defend themself. You can't tell people not to post or share their opinion just because they don't want to explain themselves or debate it. "You" being third person, not intending to point fingers.

 

 

@Katya, to answer your question, yeah at the moment I'd at least ask her to. There's a lot of options: finding private spaces, using a cover, trying to be discrete about it etc. I think it's completely fair to at least discuss it with her and explore other options. It's just hard for me to wrap my head around my wife pulling a boob out in public. Like I said though, I'm not in a fathering mindset at all right now, so I expect this to change.

No. We can't. But if you're going to post an opinion, especially on a topic as heated as this currently, you should expect people to question your motivations and reasoning. While you aren't obligated to defend yourself, like I said, you can't just assume people won't want to hear your logic, especially if your viewpoint is contentious. That isn't necessarily unfair. 

 

As for your personal viewpoint, I think many women here may feel your reasoning is not great because you're basically saying you don't want your wife doing what she wants or needs to do with her own body and child, because you're uncomfortable. It's up to your potential wife to be considerate of your feelings, not us. And your feelings may be a reminder of misogynistic ideas, even if you don't necessarily intend that or are that way. I hope that makes sense.

 

Peace of mind for the mother, I think. Not everyone is comfortable with that leve of exposure. The thing is, it should be a personal choice. If a woman wants a blanket, cool, if not, also cool.

Yes, exactly. It should be the choice of the mother, end of. 

 

@Jess lmao. Eyelids. 

[Generic]

No. We can't. But if you're going to post an opinion, especially on a topic as heated as this currently, you should expect people to question your motivations and reasoning. While you aren't obligated to defend yourself, like I said, you can't just assume people won't want to hear your logic, especially if your viewpoint is contentious. That isn't necessarily unfair. 

 

As for your personal viewpoint, I think many women here may feel your reasoning is not great because you're basically saying you don't want your wife doing what she wants or needs to do with her own body and child, because you're uncomfortable. It's up to your potential wife to be considerate of your feelings, not us. And your feelings may be a reminder of misogynistic ideas, even if you don't necessarily intend that or are that way. I hope that makes sense.

 

I posted on page 1, I didn't expect this to be a heated topic. I just wanted to post one short post about my opinion. Trust me, if I could go back in time and not say anything, I would.

 

Also yes, that's why I'd only discuss it with my wife, I'm not trying to impose my viewpoint on anyone... If I were uncomfortable with anything I'd discuss it with my wife. If my wife were uncomfortable with something I do, I hope she'd tell me too so we can at least discuss it. No matter what it is. Also I know people here see it as rooted in misogyny, but it isn't... at all... It's just about me being a somewhat reserved, private person and I'd hope my wife shares my values.

 

I'm kind of done defending my very middle ground/left leaning viewpoint, I don't think I'll open the thread again lol.

[Ladida]

I posted on page 1, I didn't expect this to be a heated topic. I just wanted to post one short post about my opinion. Trust me, if I could go back in time and not say anything, I would.

 

Also yes, that's why I'd only discuss it with my wife, I'm not trying to impose my viewpoint on anyone... If I were uncomfortable with anything I'd discuss it with my wife. If my wife were uncomfortable with something I do, I hope she'd tell me too so we can at least discuss it. No matter what it is. Also I know people here see it as rooted in misogyny, but it isn't... at all... It's just about me being a somewhat reserved, private person and I'd hope my wife shares my values.

 

I'm kind of done defending my very middle ground/left leaning viewpoint, I don't think I'll open the thread again lol.

@Generic I'm glad you posted, because no one should feel intimidated into silence. The first thing that comes to mind when someone is against something like this is misogyny because women have been subjected to it for a very long time. You've also stated a very valid point - some people (both men and women) feel more comfortable with more clothes on than off, and some people (both men and women) feel more comfortable when everyone they know and love is wearing more clothes than not. A person's comfort level is theirs entirely, and trying to force someone to be more comfortable in a situation that they find uncomfortable won't be successful.

 

As you've said, you're not trying to impose your view on anyone, which I take to mean that you wouldn't be forcing man or woman or your future wife into covering (or uncovering) themselves regardless of the situation. If your future wife is not comfortable breastfeeding in public, I'm sure she will try to plan in advance, like bringing a bottle if the future baby is willing to drink from one, using a drape if the future baby is willing to drink under one, going out after the future baby has been fed (no guarantee that he/she won't be hungry again while she's out), or making sure there is a private area where she's going where she can breastfeed in peace.

 

I hope that, if your future wife is comfortable with breastfeeding your future baby in public, you'll understand and respect her method of feeding your future baby (some babies reject the bottle, some mothers want to increase bonding time by breastfeeding over bottle feeding, some mothers and babies feel uncomfortable using a drape), even though you may not be comfortable with her breastfeeding in public. I hope that, if she does decide to breastfeed in public, you will be proud that she's not willing to let the oppressive views of strangers prevent her from taking care of your future baby's natural needs as best as she can

[Lollita]

I can see how some people's words could be perceived as aggressive. However, keep in mind, through text tone is very difficult to discern. I say this as an autistic person who constantly misunderstands people, especially online. That isn't to invalidate your feelings - just pointing out while you might feel someone is being aggressive, that may not be how they intend to come off. 

 

I was asking legitimate questions, as were some others, to understand their thinking on the subject. I hardly think that constitutes "frying" someone.

 

This ^

 

I respect others opinion but I have to try and reason with someone who disagree on public breastfeeding. When I become a mom I want to be able to breastfeed my baby whenever I'm. Us, women, can't simply ignore. We wouldn't be where we're today if women didn't stand up for our rights back in the day and we have to do the same. 

[NapisaurusRex]

I meant to post this earlier and forgot. It's a pinterest board full of period breastfeeding pictures, from paintings to daguerreotypes. I think it's absolutely bizarre how we've regressed in this particular area of humanity.

 

[Mishelle]

I meant to post this earlier and forgot. It's a pinterest board full of period breastfeeding pictures, from paintings to daguerreotypes. I think it's absolutely bizarre how we've regressed in this particular area of humanity.
 

Agreed. There are so many pictures, paintings, etc of women breastfeeding their children it's insane to me that people would find it offensive/inappropriate. And people who compare breastfeeding to whipping their dicks out or taking a shit, that makes literally no sense.

[Katya]

I'm all in for a healthy discussion. I'm always interested in hearing different opinions on subjects that interest me. What I don't like is people like the ones who said those things I quoted on the OP. That shows their lack of empathy, but mostly intelligence. You can't force your opinions on others, or your views of the world. What you can do is learn, and then form an opinion. I fucking hate this so self proclaimed "moralists" that are against everything these days because "it's not natural", "that's not what god wants", "it's cool to be like that, it's a phase like everything else". All of this to say I haven't seen any mob wielding pitchforks here, only curious views about the issue.

 

 

 

 

@Generic I don't understand how your wife breastfeeding your child could cause you discomfort, but I respect it, mostly because I'm sure you'll probably change your opinion when your daddy side comes to the surface. Just keep in mind that, even if you don't change your opinion about it, your wife might have a different view, and find offensive if you ask her to cover herself up. I'm just saying it from my own experience because even if it was someone close to me asking me such thing, considering what I would be doing (feeding babies!! *-*), I'd be pissed off lol just be careful, no need to lose your head because of a nipple 

 

 

 

@Jess that's an amazing page, thank you. 

I remember when I was a kid my grandma had all these photo albums (I wish I knew what happened to those precious things) with thousands of pics and a lot of them were moms breastfeeding their babies for the first time after giving birth, some sort of tradition around here from the early 1900s, specially if they knew the child wouldn't survive. So I can't understand why all these old folks I encounter discussing this issue tell me "oh in my time we used whatever to cover ourselves to keep a good level of decorum". No, you didn't. Just stop giving excuses to your small-mind view of female breasts.

[Marionette]

In my experience my two would be distracted by anything over their heads when they were trying to eat, they would unlatch and then fuss and cry. It was more discreet to just feed them. Most people didn't even notice.