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"Paranoid Schizophrenia"


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#1 ToriAndNate

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Posted 18 March 2017 - 08:32 PM

It only happens at perfect and convenient times. For instance, if I say something wrong, somebody will cough. Just an example. If someone were to ask me what 11 times 11 was (this is an example) in my head I'd think, "hmm, I'm not sure but I want to sound/appear smart, if I don't get it right I'm not smart" so I'll answer. The second I answer wrong, I hear a cough, and I knew before I even answered exactly when that person was going to cough.
 
Another example, a social situation. (As usual) I'll be talking with somebody, and holding a... decent conversation, then all of the sudden I don't know what to respond with to a question or statement, guess what happens? They cough obnoxiously loud. And in my head I'll know before they even cough that they are going to cough - because I'm anticipating it, and because I messed up in the conversation and didn't know what to say. 
 
It's almost like it's a punishment when I do something wrong.
 
More perfect examples, just while I was writing this every time I would stop to think about what to say next, I would hear a cough in the background and it would give me that feeling that I get in the pit of my stomach that feels like it's going to churn and implode in on itself, for lack of a better explanation. I hate this. It's torture. I'll be looking straight at someone and they'll cough or clear their throat and smirk, like it's funny, too. It happens CONSTANTLY. E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E.
 
And the part that leads me to believe that it is 'on purpose' or that the timing is just perfect, is the fact that I can predict exactly when somebody is going to cough. If something embarrassing happens, cough. If I say or do something wrong, cough. If I experience an emotion - sadness, happiness, cough. The second I feel an emotion, cough. For instance, say I won the lottery. I go in to cash my ticket, before hand, I know that as soon as I walk in the door to cash my lottery ticket, because I am happy, somebody is going to cough because it makes me unhappy and ruins it. Guess what? The second I open the door, COUGH.
 
But I hear the excuse, oh, people get sick, or, oh, people smoke... okay, sure, but, 1. why don't I hardly ever cough? And when I do, why is it hardly ever timed perfectly? 2. I've smoked marijuana ever since I was 15, I don't have a chronic cough. I had RSV when I was a baby for Christ's sake. I don't cough every 2 seconds or whenever I hear somebody laugh or cry or experience an emotion. Plus, people aren't sick 24/7 365 days a year. People get sick every now and again, and their sickness doesn't last the rest of their life and cause them to cough every 2 seconds or whenever I am anticipating it.
 
Not only all of this, but the coughs don't sound like real coughs. They sound so fake it's not even funny. Let's think about it for a second, why do you cough? To clear your throat of fluids by pushing air through your esophagus. So, you'd think, the more sick you are, or the more you've (oh lord, somebody smoked, so now that means they have to cough 24/7) smoked, the more fluid you would need to push out, so the more/harder you would need to cough. Nope. The coughs sound so fake, they're always either so dry, or they are just a single cough, no more. Just one, simple, cough... That's perfectly timed. 
 
Oh, and not to mention, nobody ever spits anything up. If you supposedly had fluid in your throat (that's why you're coughing) don'tcha think it'd come up when ya coughed?


#2 InsertUsername

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Posted 18 March 2017 - 09:31 PM

Personally, I cough at least 50~100 times per day. I cough so many time that I just don't notice it anymore. (Yes, I did get medical checkup for that. And no, they didn't find anything abnormal. I don't smoke/drink alcohol.). Also I chuckle and laugh a lot in conversation, especially at "dead" moment. It is actually to relieve me of my own anxiety, not to drag the other person down. Like, in your example of 11 time 11, if you answer me like "Oh, it's 111!", I would just chuckle and answer "No, you big dummy, it's 121! [Insert tricks to remember it here]". I don't believe that everyone in the world tries to ruin my days. There are trolls in life, yes, but not everywhere. If you REALLY think that someone cough because you did something wrong, ask them if you actually did something wrong and politely ask for tips/say that you are sorry and move along.



#3 Turnip

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Posted 18 March 2017 - 09:55 PM

Personally, I sometimes cough and they sound kinda empty because I'm trying to dislodge a tonsil stone :x It can get pretty irritating and I can feel it in there, but larger ones don't come out too easily so I can sit there and hack away for a while trying to get it out (unsuccessfully). Smokers cough a lot as well, and there are a lot of pollutants in the air which irritate our throats. There really isn't anything to worry about! I know it's easy to think deeply into things, but it isn't happening because people think you did something wrong. It probably feels like it's happening more often/during certain times because you're focusing on it. Everything is okay! If you can, try and see a doctor about things.

#4 ToriAndNate

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Posted 18 March 2017 - 10:06 PM

That's the thing is I've been dealing with this for probably close to 5 years or so now, and I've seen countless doctors, been on numerous different medications, tried all kinds of different coping skills, nothing works, everytime I hear a cough it just kills me inside... it interrupts my thought process, it literally makes me physically sick to my stomach, it makes me sad and withdrawn and it just ruins whatever mood I'm in. And like I said, it happens l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y- e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e I go and with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e... 



#5 cara

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 02:40 AM

I do have a nasty smokers cough and every time I cough I look around to see if anyone is annoyed with me. You'd be annoyed with me. I'm triggered.

#6 ToriAndNate

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 05:31 AM

I do have a nasty smokers cough and every time I cough I look around to see if anyone is annoyed with me. You'd be annoyed with me. I'm triggered.

 

I've smoked weed ever since I was 15, (out of tinfoil bongs when I first started) and I'm 26 now, I had RSV when I was a baby, (a lung disease) lived in houses with copious amounts of mold literally my whole life, as-well as lived in a house that we heated with a wood stove so it was constantly smokey. I don't get why I don't have some horrible chronic cough or throat clearing issue. 


Edited by ToriAndNate, 19 March 2017 - 05:32 AM.


#7 Kaddict

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 08:41 AM

*cough*



#8 Keil

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 09:28 AM

 Oh, and not to mention, nobody ever spits anything up. If you supposedly had fluid in your throat (that's why you're coughing) don'tcha think it'd come up when ya coughed?


I'm one of the gross nasties who do cough up fluid and let it pool at the back at the throat. If I'm home, I spit into the toilet. If I'm with company, I subtly swallow like a proper gentleman.

#9 ToriAndNate

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 09:46 AM

*cough*


*cough cough*

 

Mocking/making fun of someone who says they have paranoid schizophrenia!

 

Omg you're so c00l d00d!


Edited by ToriAndNate, 19 March 2017 - 01:57 PM.


#10 cara

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 01:58 PM

I've smoked weed ever since I was 15, (out of tinfoil bongs when I first started) and I'm 26 now, I had RSV when I was a baby, (a lung disease) lived in houses with copious amounts of mold literally my whole life, as-well as lived in a house that we heated with a wood stove so it was constantly smokey. I don't get why I don't have some horrible chronic cough or throat clearing issue.


Oh fam you right, you right. Lemme just somehow stop my chronic smokers cough because you don't agree with it. Thanks. I'm cured.

#11 ToriAndNate

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 01:59 PM

Oh fam you right, you right. Lemme just somehow stop my chronic smokers cough because you don't agree with it. Thanks. I'm cured.

 

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that if you picked up a cigarette that means you cough 24/7 everywhere you go, pls4giv.

 

I smoked cigarettes when I was like 16-17 and never developed any kind of chronic cough sooooo, yeah, fam.



#12 Elindoril

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 02:24 PM

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that if you picked up a cigarette that means you cough 24/7 everywhere you go, pls4giv.

I smoked cigarettes when I was like 16-17 and never developed any kind of chronic cough sooooo, yeah, fam.


Oh my God! It's like people are different! Especially if they have smoked for longer!

My uncle has smoked​ for years and has long coughing fits when he naps. Please cure him, miracle worker.

#13 ToriAndNate

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 02:38 PM

Meh, I should've expected most of the people who comment to be insensitive trolls, I'm done here have fun mocking me you just drove a member away.



#14 Swar

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 02:40 PM

:')

#15 ToriAndNate

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 02:50 PM

Pathetic lonely useless trolls, get a life lmfao still playing Neopets you guys are sad



#16 Generic

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 02:52 PM

@ToriAndNate, I'm sorry to see how much this thread got derailed. I mean, I understand why people are making the jokes - I personally have a pretty dumb sense of humor so I'd consider jokes like them too - but clearly you're here to discuss something that's important for you and its really screwing with you, so I get why it sucks.

 

I'm not really sure what advice to give though. Honestly I don't really notice people coughing a lot, but I also don't know many smokers and since I'm a student I'm usually only around people under 25ish. You put the topic title "Paranoid Schizophrenia", and I don't know much about Schizophrenia tbh, but does this imply you could be imagining the coughs somehow?

 

From another point of view, I feel like the best input I can give is that you're probably experiencing some form of confirmation bias. People probably just generally cough a lot, but you only really realise it when you feel like you "deserve" to be punished. Or on the flip side, and no offense meant, but maybe you just feel like you do the wrong thing a lot so you feel like you need to be punished a lot? It sounds like it stems from some sort of lacking self confidence. People aren't trying to punish you, generally speaking. And if they are (kind of like people making dumb jokes about it online), they probably don't have any mal-intent. And I think you need to fully realise that, people aren't just trying to break you. A lot of the time people just don't take stranger's problems seriously. Which is fair, to be honest - you can't care about everyone's problems in life.


Pathetic lonely useless trolls, get a life lmfao still playing Neopets you guys are sad

 

No need to escalate either, though. I realise people can be insensitive, but there's a difference between insensitivity and aggression, dude.



#17 Swar

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 03:06 PM

Pathetic lonely useless trolls, get a life lmfao still playing Neopets you guys are sad


Look, I'm sorry for whatever you're going through, but you need to chill. You're making yourself look just as bad as the "pathetic lonely useless trolls".

#18 Elindoril

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 03:59 PM

Pathetic lonely useless trolls, get a life lmfao still playing Neopets you guys are sad


Why are you here? To antagonize us? You're quick to defend yourself and attack others. You're barely better than us "useless trolls".

People responded to your question about coughing. They gave reason about why they cough. All you did was disregard their answers with your own pathetic defence of 'oh but I don't cough! :^)'.

#19 Kaddict

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 05:14 PM

@ToriAndNate, I'm sorry to see how much this thread got derailed. I mean, I understand why people are making the jokes - I personally have a pretty dumb sense of humor so I'd consider jokes like them too - but clearly you're here to discuss something that's important for you and its really screwing with you, so I get why it sucks.

 

I'm not really sure what advice to give though. Honestly I don't really notice people coughing a lot, but I also don't know many smokers and since I'm a student I'm usually only around people under 25ish. You put the topic title "Paranoid Schizophrenia", and I don't know much about Schizophrenia tbh, but does this imply you could be imagining the coughs somehow?

 

From another point of view, I feel like the best input I can give is that you're probably experiencing some form of confirmation bias. People probably just generally cough a lot, but you only really realise it when you feel like you "deserve" to be punished. Or on the flip side, and no offense meant, but maybe you just feel like you do the wrong thing a lot so you feel like you need to be punished a lot? It sounds like it stems from some sort of lacking self confidence. People aren't trying to punish you, generally speaking. And if they are (kind of like people making dumb jokes about it online), they probably don't have any mal-intent. And I think you need to fully realise that, people aren't just trying to break you. A lot of the time people just don't take stranger's problems seriously. Which is fair, to be honest - you can't care about everyone's problems in life.


 

No need to escalate either, though. I realise people can be insensitive, but there's a difference between insensitivity and aggression, dude.

 

I am 90% sure this is the reason. Your brain tunes out most sensations that are unnecessary to formulate a general picture of what it is working on. Coughs are usually unnecessary. But when you are paying attention to them bc you expect them to happen, you hear it. Also, I'm also fairly certain that you often think a cough is coming but one doesn't, but since this isn't an affirmation, you forget it. Thus, your memory has a high preponderance of the inconveniently timed coughs.



#20 Coops

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 06:10 PM

I am 90% sure this is the reason. Your brain tunes out most sensations that are unnecessary to formulate a general picture of what it is working on. Coughs are usually unnecessary. But when you are paying attention to them bc you expect them to happen, you hear it. Also, I'm also fairly certain that you often think a cough is coming but one doesn't, but since this isn't an affirmation, you forget it. Thus, your memory has a high preponderance of the inconveniently timed coughs.

Yes. This.

 

Pathetic lonely useless trolls, get a life lmfao still playing Neopets you guys are sad

Like why was this even necessary? The comments weren't even rude. Both were half-attempts at humor to lighten the thread and there is absolutely no reason to be nasty to other members here. Please refrain from this in the future. 



#21 Turnip

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 08:33 PM

That's the thing is I've been dealing with this for probably close to 5 years or so now, and I've seen countless doctors, been on numerous different medications, tried all kinds of different coping skills, nothing works, everytime I hear a cough it just kills me inside... it interrupts my thought process, it literally makes me physically sick to my stomach, it makes me sad and withdrawn and it just ruins whatever mood I'm in. And like I said, it happens l-i-t-e-r-a-l-l-y- e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e I go and with e-v-e-r-y-o-n-e...

Well... I don't know what to tell you then. A relative of mine was the same in a way (for background info: they likely developed schizophrenia+bipolar due to trauma, developed noticeable symptoms in their late teens/early 20s, didn't begin receiving treatment when they were finally not simply diagnosed with depression until just a few years ago when they were in their mid 50s.... And they were only diagnosed with it because something incredibly bad happened). They would ask me "what does this gesture mean?" then do something like rub their eye or brush their hair out of their face. They found people coughing as noticeable and annoying as you do, and would ask me why people did it constantly. Ask if it was intentional. Our other relative was a smoker and he would drive them up the wall from coughing so much. They would ask me why certain thing seems to always happen after something else happens, I can't remember any examples though. They would ask if there was a deeper meaning to some simple phrase that was told to them. But... Even after telling them time and time and time again that it's all unrelated to anything, nothing to worry about, that people just cough/rub their faces/adjust themselves while sitting/etc because they're uncomfortable at that moment of simply out of boredom... They kept asking. They would get so frustrated and angry from these things. I'm pretty sure they understood that these things weren't happening solely to make them suffer, but their schizophrenia wasn't allowing that. Having conflicting thoughts like that must have been rough for them.

I'm just not sure what to tell you. I never really figured out what sort of thing to say in response to these sorta things. Like Kaddict said, it's just noticeable because you're expecting it to happen and it really truly doesn't go deeper than that. If you don't expect it to happen and know it's unrelated to your ultimately random action, you just don't think about it. The person would have coughed if you did this action, that action, or simply left the area. They might not have coughed from any of it. Anything could have happened because there are too many possible variables and outcomes. @Elindoril's relative was asking us recently, when you place an item down somewhere, if it occasionally rattles while settling. We said it's always been like that and she said it never really seemed to happen to her before, and she said it's been happening a lot lately and it's driving her nuts. But that's the thing! It's always happened. It's an ordinary, boring, everyday thing that isn't worth remembering. But now that it's in her mind, she notices happen every time it happens. You know what I'm sayin with all this?

Now that my relative is on some medications that mostly agree with them (it took them a long time to find medications they work with their body), they don't notice these sorta things happening anymore. They don't get angry anymore. Like... It's totally understandable why they would get so angry. Their body and mind must have been under so much pressure that it was unbearable. Lashing out like that happens when you get stressed out, right? But now that they aren't under that much pressure anymore it's all okay. That's why I originally suggested medication. If it helped them then even though everyone's bodies are different it might help you too. I didn't know about your medical history so please understand. I just want to try and help you if possible, but it reminds me of before my relative started receiving medication. We're both at a block in the road where there's no current solution to moving the block out of the way. Please don't interpret the tone of this as negative but I don't know what do you want to be told? I don't know what to do even though I know at the end of the day there's nothing I can do. But know that you aren't struggling alone if you personally find comfort in that. It might just take more fighting to find something that works with you. I know it's easy to just say nothing worked in the past and nothing will ever to work in the future, but don't give in to negativity like that. It's corny as hell but here we are.

#22 cara

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Posted 19 March 2017 - 11:07 PM

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that if you picked up a cigarette that means you cough 24/7 everywhere you go, pls4giv.

I smoked cigarettes when I was like 16-17 and never developed any kind of chronic cough sooooo, yeah, fam.


As mentioned above, everyone has different bodies. If I tell you that Indian food upsets my stomach and you say wellp I been eating it all my life and it's never upset my stomach so you're wrong, does that seem logical to you? Do you really think ever single person on this earth will react to things the way you do? I'm not even sure if you're trolling here or if you are just this unintelligent.

If someone says 'I have a cough' you should try to be compassionate instead of having a stroke and trying to say 'WELL I DONT HAVE ONE SO YOURE LYING'. What is wrong with you?


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