Have you ever been in a chaotic situation in which you had to keep a leveled head? Were you able to? If you haven't, can you tell me what you think you would do? Think of an example that frightens you - this could be a plane hijacking, a car driving into the water, being kidnapped, or anything else - and tell me what you think you would do and/or what you should do. If you have, what did you do, and was it wat you expected yourself to do?
The closest thing to this overhearing my parents get into nearly violent fights. I always go out to inspect what is going on. One of the worst times, my mom slammed a door on my dads face and when I went out to see what had happened, he had been knocked onto the ground and crying. I said "what the fuck is going on?", which for me is losing my cool since i dont curse around my parents. when it gets this bad i force my mom into her bedroom and guard the door so my dad doesnt enter and my mom doesnt leave. But in a more intense situation like a plane hijacking or kidnapping, I would like to think i would intervene and try to critically injure the assailant. Although I might just freeze.
Have you ever been in a (f.e. car) accident? Were you badly injured? Were you able to prevent an accident by quick action?
I have been in a few accidents, but they were only fender benders. Once, i prevented another fender bender by swerving out the way quickly. I had just checked my blind spot because I was going to change lanes and when i looked forward again, the guy in front of me had slammed on the brakes, and instinctively i just swerved to avoid him. I almost lost control of my car. Its weird because I know thats not what i am supposed to do in that situation, I should have just hit his bumper, but it was instinctive. Happened in a split second. I was shaking afterwards and had to pull over. If there had been a motorcyclist in that lane I swerved into, I probably would have killed them.
Have you witnessed an accident? Did/could you help out? What did you do? Or did you suffer from the bystander effect? Did you feel like you could or should've helped out more?
I have witnessed a few. Once in highschool, I was driving with a friend and another friend was following us in her car. We were turning left on a green yield, and my friend gunned it to make it before an oncoming car. Our friend behind us went as well, getting t-boned by the oncoming car. It pushed her car all the way through the intersection. Seeing that happen was surreal and I immediately called 911. We turned around asap. By the time we turned around both parties were out of their cars, making sure everyone was ok, so there wasn't much we could do except comfort our friend. One other time I saw a car somehow stranded in the middle of an intersection between both lanes of opposing traffic and saw it eventually get hit. It didn't seem too bad but I still called 911. My mom was driving and we just kept going to our destination.
Have you been in a life-threatening situation? Perhaps something that wasn't life-threatening in retrospect but felt like your last moments at the time?
I almost drowned in the ocean when i was in 4th or 5th grade. I didnt know how to swim but I went too far into the water and it pulled me just slightly out from where my feet could touch the ground. I definatley panicked, trying to dog paddle to safe my life. Not much else went through my head except to try to keep afloat. The weird thing was I was with a friend who was there next to me, and they didnt do anything. Maybe they didnt realize I was drowning, idk. My dad saw me though and had run out to grab me. Things were just awkward with that friend after that. Also, i still dont know how to swim and im 22 now.
Have you ever been threatened? For what? By who? Did you comply? Were you able to get out? Was it a robbery? Rape?
No I have never been threatened.
Were you put in a life-threatening situation because of a (former) loved one?
I was put in what I thought could have been a life threatening situation. I was in the car with my boyfriend and he was driving. We were in one of the worst fights we had ever had. It was very emotional and we were both younger, and inept at dealing with things like this. We ended up breaking up shortly thereafter but anyways. I was crying hysterically and he was driving like a maniac. The worst road rage I have ever seen. I was scared we were going to get in a wreck, and the worst part was we were just about to get on the freeway. I begged him to stop and pull over so I could get out of the car but it was like a 6 lane street and we were in the right 3 ones, merging onto the freeway. There was nowhere to stop. I told him if he didnt stop driving like a madman I was going to call the police, and he eased up a little. Eventually we got home and continued the fight in the car. I was repeating myself for the umpteenth time and he choked me to shut me up. It wasn't for very long but the weird thing was after he let go, I wasn't scared. I dont remember the context but I said something along the lines of "How im not some abuse victim". Like in my mind i had twisted things and convinced myself I wasn't in an abusive situation. That it was fine and justified. Looking back on it, I wonder if thats how people end up staying in abusive relationships. The mind is very weird.
What's your biggest fear? And the second biggest? The third? What's your biggest fear other than common fears like fear of heights or spiders? Disappointing your mentors, loved ones, family? Never achieving anything? Ending up in the gutter? Dying alone? Dying first or dying last?
Death is my biggest fear. Not so much the act of dying but the uncertainty of what happens next. My biggest uncommon fear would be monotony. I have wanted all my life to travel and not get stuck in the same place doing the same thing my whole life. Thats what I have seen my parents do, nothing. Work so hard and basically kill themselves for a house and food and nothing else. I have traveled to the states closest to me so at least I have that, but the fear of not doing anything else is still there. Also the thought of childbirth terrifies me. Lastly, I am not very close to my family and I fear the regret I will have if they die with our relationship how it is.
Do you fear death?
Yes, very much so.
What's the worst nightmare you can remember?
I have alot of vivid dreams and the occasional night terror. If night terrors count, then it would be one of those. I wake up in the middle of the night, paralyzed. Then this feeling of overwhelming dread and doom come over me, like nothing I have experienced before. Like something really, really bad is about to happen. I look out into the hallway which I can see from my bed, and see this freaky monster/demon/alien hand creep over the corner. Somehow I know that if I manage to move, it will go away. So i put all my might into moving and finally, I manage to move ever so slightly and simultaneously 'wake up". It doesn't sound that bad but to experience it is the most terrifying thing I have ever gone through. I no longer have my bed facing my door for this reason. But as for an actual nightmare, I had a dream I was killed. My boyfriend and I had been taken hostage or something, and were tied up on our knees. Each of us had someone holding a gun to our head. I watched as they shot my boyfriend dead, then they shot me dead. What happened next was me residing in my consciousness, thinking "so this is it, huh? well I had a good run I guess. I wonder what will happen next..." And then I woke up. After having that dream, I no longer feared death. Although, that was awhile ago, and I have returned to fearing death again.
What fear have you overcome? What happened?
I used to fear death, then had a dream where I died. After that I didn't fear death for awhile, but I have gone back to fearing it.