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Opposites Attract


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#1 Dazz

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Posted 23 July 2017 - 08:26 PM

[pretend there's a gif of magnets or something here. We're low budget tonight]

 

Or don't they? This is something I've been meaning to post for a while simply because i'm interested, I was gonna put it in the debate section but I figured it's more of a discussion than anything.

 

So my question isn't do opposites attract? But more a question of how far does it go? Terrible wording I know but i'm struggling to put thoughts into words, forgive me :p I'll try explain below.

 

So the age old saying is opposites attract, then people started putting that towards people and relationships. When it comes to a loved one, what's your opinion of how well you can get along with someone who is vastly different to you? It could be that they're a health nut and you're a couch potato, they could be a redneck while you're more of a chav, they're a child of god but you enjoy indulging in some satanic rituals. What's the limit where the line is drawn for you to love being with them, and for how long before it becomes too much of a problem?

 

Also the same goes for being friends with someone, i'd assume that there would be a lot more tolerance for their interests, habits, etc.

 

If you took this absolutely perfect graph below as reference, with the X axis being relationship length, and the Y axis being difference between you two. At the furthest point of the relationship length, how far up on the difference scale could you go? Or something like that, I had an idea, I was going with it and now i've just blanked.

 

Spoiler

 

Discuss and stuff

 

Spoiler



#2 Sweeney

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Posted 23 July 2017 - 08:39 PM

tumblr_mv34l8lbP91rqyje0o1_500.gif



#3 Dazz

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Posted 23 July 2017 - 09:02 PM

That's a little too big Joe, aesthetically I don't know if it would work :(



#4 SheOfTheEnderworld

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Posted 23 July 2017 - 09:51 PM

I do find the "opposites attract" thing to be very true. I don't really feel like going all personal here on Neocodex about it though.



#5 Kate

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 06:06 AM

My husband and I couldn't be more opposite. We've had a couple really rough patches that I'd say were mostly due to how different we are from each other and how our expectations of the relationship differ so vastly. With that being said though, I've never been with anyone even close to as long as I've been with him. Everywhere I am lacking, he excels, where he lacks, I excel. We always say I'm the calm to his storm lol I'm scatter brained and disorganized and probably too relaxed. He's organized, hard working, and in a constant state of stress lol It creates a nice balance somehow.

I'd also like to mention my best friend is basically the opposite of me as well. She's like the female version of my hubby only a bit more chilled out lol 



#6 Jess

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 06:32 AM

For me, it's probably somewhere in the middle. I don't think I'd work out with an exact opposite (actually, I know I wouldn't, since it didn't work out.) I don't think it's necessary to have all the same hobbies, but that might be because I'm an introvert and want to do things alone sometimes. The thing that didn't used to be something I considered important to have in common is morals, but now I think it's important to have similar morals and life goals.



#7 Coops

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 10:18 AM

My husband and I are the same in the ways that matter to us personally (ethics, morals, etc). But we've got different friends and different hobbies. We also have different needs (e.g. I need more literal/physical support because I'm disabled and he needs emotional/mental support because he's still stumbling around in the dark emotionally). I think being too different or too similar can lead to unhealthy co-dependent relationship dynamics. It just depends on the people and the nature of the relationship (romantic, friendship, familial, etc). Generalizations like opposites attract are appealing because it's easier than examining the nuances of relationships and communication. But it's not something we can use to measure how a relationship will pan out, imo.



#8 cara

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 10:29 AM

Like others have said, the fundamentals have to be shared for a relationship to work imo. Don't get me wrong, I love raunchy, conservative, gun-lovinAmerican boys as much as the next girl, but would I ever marry one? Yes, I would.

 

Bet you weren't expecting that. /micdrop



#9 SheOfTheEnderworld

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 12:51 PM

Like others have said, the fundamentals have to be shared for a relationship to work imo. Don't get me wrong, I love raunchy, conservative, gun-lovinAmerican boys as much as the next girl, but would I ever marry one? Yes, I would.

 

Bet you weren't expecting that. /micdrop

 

I adore this post...very well stated and executed.  :x3:



#10 cara

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 12:56 PM

I adore this post...very well stated and executed. :x3:


Thanks I'm here all week.

#11 Sweeney

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 12:57 PM

Thanks I'm here all week.


*decade

#12 cara

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:03 PM

*decade


Codex 4 lyfe

#13 Sweeney

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:04 PM

Codex 4 lyfe


Legit. I'm only five years out from the 50%-of-my-life-on-Codex point.

You're PAST IT.

#14 cara

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:16 PM

Legit. I'm only five years out from the 50%-of-my-life-on-Codex point.

You're PAST IT.

 

Who would have thought that a Neopets cheating site would be in our lives for so long? Also, what is wrong with us?



#15 Coops

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:17 PM

Who would have thought that a Neopets cheating site would be in our lives for so long? Also, what is wrong with us?

Nothing is wrong with you. You made some great friends here. That's not wrong.



#16 cara

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:20 PM

Nothing is wrong with you. You made some great friends here. That's not wrong.

 

This is true.  ^_^  Makes me wonder how long Codex will be around for.



#17 Adam

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:22 PM

This is true.  ^_^  Makes me wonder how long Codex will be around for.

As long as the friendship is alive, so is Codex.

 

Ugh.



#18 Sweeney

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:31 PM

Nothing is wrong with you. You made some great friends here. That's not wrong.


Heh, there is plenty wrong with all of us :p

#19 cara

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 01:34 PM

As long as the friendship is alive, so is Codex.

 

Ugh.

 

That's deep bro



#20 Shiemi

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Posted 24 July 2017 - 05:20 PM

From personal experience, they usually don't. 

Most of the longer lasting couples that I've known have shared many common interests and personality traits. 

 

They may attract initially but they don't last very long.



#21 Sweeney

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Posted 25 July 2017 - 07:46 AM

Cristen and I are pretty freaking different.

I mean, she's a girl and I'm a boy. And that's just the start of it.

#22 Nymh

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Posted 25 July 2017 - 07:47 AM

Cristen and I are pretty freaking different.
I mean, she's a girl and I'm a boy. And that's just the start of it.


The next layer - he is an Aquarius and I am a Leo.

#23 pancakeface

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Posted 25 July 2017 - 08:21 AM

Psychologically (or I guess philosophically) the idea stems from placing this value upon someone to make up for our self-perceived flaws. Maybe it's an oversimplification but that's how I always understood the concept. 

 

Unfortunately, I do agree with a lot of the other commenters here. It's probably not a strong basis for an ongoing, long-term,  relationship. There needs to be something common to hold together when there is too much difference in between.

 

Interestingly, magnets are the perfect metaphor for this. Yes opposite attract, but they both have to be magnets to begin with. Magnets are a perfect opposite with cotton wool, and those don't attract at all.



#24 Jess

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Posted 25 July 2017 - 03:36 PM

The next layer - he is an Aquarius and I am a Leo.


I said this in my head after reading his post.

#25 Sweeney

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Posted 26 July 2017 - 07:00 AM

I said this in my head after reading his post.


There's also the fact that I think astrology is horseshit :)


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