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Sleeping with a married person


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#51 Bones

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Posted 12 July 2018 - 11:23 PM

^this :p

 

also this thread went the way I tought it would....

 

 

Always remember even if its 2 consenting parties someone somewhere is hurting so how is it ok IMO its never ok.  As stated my father cheated on my mother 2 times (that we know of) and on both times it had lasting effects on the family that will never be fixed.  Cheating IMO never ever is good and if you are part of the other side you would know this.



#52 Salade

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 03:04 AM

Knowingly sleeping with a person in any kind of monogamous relationship is fucked up. I had a friend who messed around with a dude who was unsatisfied sexually in his relationship. So instead of talking with his girlfriend, or even breaking up, he sticks his dick in the first girl he finds. I was disgusted at him, but even more so at my friend, who enabled this shitty behaviour. She's also the kind of person who is suuuuper insecure about guys. She had a crush on that guy for a while, and kept badmouthing his poor girlfriend, parroting whatever he told her. Almost ended our friendship.

 

So uh, kind of parroting what cara said, but if you knowingly stick your genitals in or on someone else's genitals, fuck you. If you're unhappy in your relationship and don't have the guts to talk or end it, fuck you too. 



#53 Romy

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 07:39 PM

I am having trouble with you saying that participating in an act that we have agreed is immoral only being immoral for one of the people involved.

I like how you're going the extra mile in regards to keeping up with Volition's replies. 10/10

 

Everyone actively involved should be stoned. Heathens.

Context matters bruh. You really like the whole "eye for an eye" thing despite not being religious.

 

 

Random question for you all:

Sex is an incredibly important part of any relationship. At what point (if any) is it OKAY to cheat?  (Besides abusive relationships or something)



#54 Amethyst

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 10:11 PM

I like how you're going the extra mile in regards to keeping up with Volition's replies. 10/10

 

Context matters bruh. You really like the whole "eye for an eye" thing despite not being religious.

 

 

Random question for you all:

Sex is an incredibly important part of any relationship. At what point (if any) is it OKAY to cheat?  (Besides abusive relationships or something)

 

Cheating is only okay if it's agreed upon beforehand. As in, everyone consents to sleeping around with other people. If you're doing shit with someone else behind their back then it's cheating.

 

Abuse on the other hand? touchier topic, I feel like at that point you need to do whatever you can to escape for your own safety and that's not the same thing as cheating on a loving partner that you're just having struggles with. 



#55 Kaddict

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Posted 13 July 2018 - 10:25 PM

I agree with cara, rocket, Joe and the rest of you lot taking the stance here. I think that the person most culpable is the person who is in a relationship and cheats. However, a person who knowingly sleeps with (or even makes out with, blows, feels up, this isn't just limited to sex imo) a married or otherwise committed person is guilty. Sexuality has nothing to do with this conversation.

In the case of @Trapezeo I don't care if that guy is a closeted gay male stuck in a heterosexual relationship, it is reallyshitty to cheat on your spouse. The decent thing to do as that man is to tell his spouse, and she would either be okay with him experimenting or not, and then they could decide to continue a mono relationship or break up.

What is the accessory to cheating called? The cheatee? Let's go with it. Those of you thinking the cheated is absolved from consequence, how would you feel if you were in a long time, committed relationship, and your best friend decides to sleep with your SO? That would be a dick move by your best friend, right? So why would it not be a dick move of a stranger who knows you are in a committed relationship? Help me see how you justify this to yourself.


None of this matters if the spouse knows about and is okay with it, but that isn't considered cheating, it is swinging.



To my knowledge, this has all been about sexual cheating, and we haven't delved into emotional cheating. But in abusive relationships, I don't think cheating is ok still, I do however absolve the abused from emotional cheating, and almost encourage it, if it helps them take steps to getting out of the abusive relationship. But that is a tougher topic I would have to think about more.

#56 Realisticerror

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 02:41 AM

i honwstly believe its the married persons job to not cheat, not everyone elses job to watch out for them.



#57 Sweeney

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:24 AM

i honwstly believe its the married persons job to not cheat, not everyone elses job to watch out for them.


Por que no los dos?

#58 Shannon

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 05:16 PM

Por que no los dos?

 

Si!

 

Again I am baffled by the thought process of people who think this shit is all about a good time for them. We all have a responsibility to be good to one another. Just because someone didn't take a vow doesn't mean they're any less of a dick for participating in this sort of thing.



#59 Realisticerror

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 06:19 PM

Si!

 

Again I am baffled by the thought process of people who think this shit is all about a good time for them. We all have a responsibility to be good to one another. Just because someone didn't take a vow doesn't mean they're any less of a dick for participating in this sort of thing.

 

eh, I'm not saying you're not a dick for doing it, just that you can't be blamed for the behaviour of others. 

 

For example, Neocodex (not sure the specific dev) created Abrosia, should the dev be blamed for the users who were looking to cheat, and going to cheat regardless of if they found Abrosia, or should you ban the cheaters instead?

 

if TNT really wanted to ban Neocodex as a site they would most likely have legal cause to do so, but instead they just keep banning the autobuyers themselves.



#60 Shannon

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 06:24 PM

eh, I'm not saying you're not a dick for doing it, just that you can't be blamed for the behaviour of others. 

 

For example, Neocodex (not sure the specific dev) created Abrosia, should the dev be blamed for the users who were looking to cheat, and going to cheat regardless of if they found Abrosia, or should you ban the cheaters instead?

 

if TNT really wanted to ban Neocodex as a site they would most likely have legal cause to do so, but instead they just keep banning the autobuyers themselves.

 

I'm not saying the third person should be blamed for the actions of the cheater. I'm saying they're a bad person for participating with them.

 

Also, I do blame the Program Manager devs for enabling cheating - they literally created a program allowing non-tech savvy people to prolifically cheat. Not that I'm mad at it, but if I were TNT, I'd be banning both. TNT notoriously hates Codex - if they could fuck us up, they would.


Edited by Shannon, 15 July 2018 - 06:25 PM.


#61 cara

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 06:36 PM

eh, I'm not saying you're not a dick for doing it, just that you can't be blamed for the behaviour of others.

For example, Neocodex (not sure the specific dev) created Abrosia, should the dev be blamed for the users who were looking to cheat, and going to cheat regardless of if they found Abrosia, or should you ban the cheaters instead?

if TNT really wanted to ban Neocodex as a site they would most likely have legal cause to do so, but instead they just keep banning the autobuyers themselves.


Bruh how far down the rabbit hole can you go with this logic though? Would you blame a drug dealer for selling crack to a 13 year old? Or is it not his fault because he’s just providing the service?

#62 Realisticerror

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 06:49 PM

I'm not saying the third person should be blamed for the actions of the cheater. I'm saying they're a bad person for participating with them.

 

Also, I do blame the Program Manager devs for enabling cheating - they literally created a program allowing non-tech savvy people to prolifically cheat. Not that I'm mad at it, but if I were TNT, I'd be banning both. TNT notoriously hates Codex - if they could fuck us up, they would.

 

Oh, well yeah, in that case I agree with you, they are a shitty person, maybe I misread the question, I thought it was more about where the blame lies.

 

I disagree that the programmers are to blame, there are plenty of legit programs in the world that are used for illegit purposes (obviously a program designed specifically for cheating is a bad example), maybe something like greasemonkey is a better example, created to allow developers to more heavily utalize their own javascript capabilities, ended up being used for browser based autoplayers on Neopets, lol.

 

Cara: the problem there is you're using a 13 year olds lack of experience and life skills as a reason for them to not understand that what they're doing is stupid and hurting someone, I'm assuming the married man/woman is an adult of sound mind and normal human empathy.


Edited by Realisticerror, 15 July 2018 - 06:52 PM.


#63 Shannon

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 06:57 PM

Oh, well yeah, in that case I agree with you, they are a shitty person, maybe I misread the question, I thought it was more about where the blame lies.

 

I disagree that the programmers are to blame, there are plenty of legit programs in the world that are used for illegit purposes (obviously a program designed specifically for cheating is a bad example), maybe something like greasemonkey is a better example, created to allow developers to more heavily utalize their own javascript capabilities, ended up being used for browser based autoplayers on Neopets, lol.

 

I don't really understand what your question was. Is someone wrong for purposely enabling rule-breaking? Then yes. Otherwise, I have no clue what you mean, honestly.


Edited by Shannon, 15 July 2018 - 06:58 PM.


#64 Realisticerror

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:02 PM

I don't really understand what your question is here. Is someone wrong for purposely enabling rule-breaking? Then yes. Otherwise, I have no clue what you mean, honestly.

 

Sorry, I'm not the best at writing out my thoughts, let me try again (hoping this isn't too off-topic):

 

the developers of Greasemonkey created a program to allow client side javascript calls, Neopians figured out that this was a great way to cheat the system and auto-play games like pyramids.

 

Are the devs to be blamed for providing the service, or are the neopians who used the service for breaking the rules?



#65 cara

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:04 PM

Oh, well yeah, in that case I agree with you, they are a shitty person, maybe I misread the question, I thought it was more about where the blame lies.

I disagree that the programmers are to blame, there are plenty of legit programs in the world that are used for illegit purposes (obviously a program designed specifically for cheating is a bad example), maybe something like greasemonkey is a better example, created to allow developers to more heavily utalize their own javascript capabilities, ended up being used for browser based autoplayers on Neopets, lol.

Cara: the problem there is you're using a 13 year olds lack of experience and life skills as a reason for them to not understand that what they're doing is stupid and hurting someone, I'm assuming the married man/woman is an adult of sound mind and normal human empathy.


So .. don’t put drug dealers in jail as long as they only sell crack to adults?

#66 Realisticerror

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:14 PM

So .. don’t put drug dealers in jail as long as they only sell crack to adults?

 

I mean, if the adults are consenting (re: not addicted at the time of first purchase) is it really anyones business? pot is legal now in a lot of areas and as far as I know there's been no great increase in any societal harm, eg. robbery, car accidents, etc.



#67 cara

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:23 PM

I mean, if the adults are consenting (re: not addicted at the time of first purchase) is it really anyones business? pot is legal now in a lot of areas and as far as I know there's been no great increase in any societal harm, eg. robbery, car accidents, etc.


So .. don’t put pimps in jail as long as they only sell sex to adults?

Don’t put people selling illegal guns in jail?

Where does this end? Or does it only apply to certain things? Clearly you think it only applies to certain things, which is why you brought up pot not being so bad. But who are you to say what laws aren’t that bad and are okay to break?

#68 Realisticerror

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:30 PM

So .. don’t put pimps in jail as long as they only sell sex to adults?

Don’t put people selling illegal guns in jail?

Where does this end? Or does it only apply to certain things? Clearly you think it only applies to certain things, which is why you brought up pot not being so bad. But who are you to say what laws aren’t that bad and are okay to break?

 

I used pot as an example because it's relevant, the only person affected by the crime in that case is the consenting adult purchasing his product, if the adult decides to go steal some stuff to pay for their next fix do you pin the theft on the dealer?



#69 cara

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 07:36 PM

I used pot as an example because it's relevant, the only person affected by the crime in that case is the consenting adult purchasing his product, if the adult decides to go steal some stuff to pay for their next fix do you pin the theft on the dealer?


You’re mixing the two crimes into one. Stealing is different than selling an illegal substance. So yes, you’re right, the drug dealer is not responsible for the theft. But the drug dealer is responsible for selling drugs.

Anyways this is so unrelated to sleeping with married people I’m going to stop debating it. If you literally think nobody is responsible for their actions as long as it’s not that bad (if that’s the point you’re making), or, if they’re only inflicting harm on people who understand the harm (if that’s your point), then it’s absurd. Would you include slavers in that logic of yours? ‘Well, if the person legit needs money because they’re starving and they agree to work in a brothel, is the pimp actually hurting anyone?’

To say that someone can violate any law they wish as long as the person they are hurting is okay with it is ... chaotic.

#70 Drakonid

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:16 PM

Bringing up prostitution is interesting. Should a prostitute not take a client the they know is married?



#71 cara

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:51 PM

Bringing up prostitution is interesting. Should a prostitute not take a client the they know is married?


I didn’t bring it up in that context but I don’t think an act is made less immoral because someone is paying you to do it.

Isn’t that the same as asking how much money are your morals worth?

#72 Drakonid

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Posted 15 July 2018 - 08:56 PM

I didn’t bring it up in that context but I don’t think an act is made less immoral because someone is paying you to do it.

Isn’t that the same as asking how much money are your morals worth?

Yeah, I  know it was another context but it just poped in my head.

 

And I think everyone has a price tag. Does having a higher tag make you a better person?



#73 Bones

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 01:06 AM

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#74 Amethyst

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 06:24 AM

Bringing up prostitution is interesting. Should a prostitute not take a client the they know is married?

 

I dated someone who was a prostitute behind my back.

 

Fuck people who do that.



#75 Sweeney

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Posted 16 July 2018 - 07:07 AM

Bringing up prostitution is interesting. Should a prostitute not take a client the they know is married?


Bringing up prostitution is quite interesting, but not because of the transactional nature of the "relationship".

But because prostitutes quite often do not have a choice in who they take as a client.


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