QUOTE(AliasXNeo @ Dec 22 2006, 08:54 PM)
What has changed to disallow this faith? I believe if you have a true faith for God nothing can come in between it, so long as you try to keep it that way. Your case looks like you didn't try, or tried and gave up, either way it all leads back to you not really having a strong faith in the first place.
My dad died and my mum kicked me out of home?
I was fine and I was coping and all I had was people around me telling me that God was there for me. Problem with being a cathedral chorister, you get surrounded by people who believe that God is the key to everything.
So I prayed and I prayed and I tried to lead my life the best I could . Didn't make me feel much better though.
Because when you're 17 and living in a tiny flat by yourself knowing that if you don't leave for the next week, nobody would know any different...suddenly you do just stop caring. I'd thought for 17 years that christianity would help save me and it did fuck all. It made me feel even worse and even more alone because I
was alone and it didn't feel like God cared much about me either.
And it wasn't that I gave up, it was just that one day I realised that I didn't feel anything towards religion anymore, it was just a total blank. I hadn't consciously made any decision to stop believing, I just didn't.
I saved myself and I didn't do it until I'd left religion behind me. So no, I don't feel any need for a God in my life.
And until you've been in my head and known how I've felt for my entire life, you can't possibly tell me that I've never believed because you have absolutely no idea.