I haven't watched wrestling in over 13 years or something like that, and while going down the rabbit hole on youtube, somehow ended up on old WWE matches. This peaked my curiousity, so I decided to watch Raw and Smackdown to see how much it's changed and I took down notes of my thoughts.
- The New Day are pretty awesome. They had me laughing when they sat in the crowd eating popcorn and booty-o's. Then when the Usos come over to talk smack, one of the guys pulled a microphone out of the popcorn bucket to talk back. Outta the popcorn bucket.
- Hearing the Stone Cold "What?" chant being still around. It's a pretty shitty chant to do when someone has a pause when talking so really it's a negative but the nostalgia that came from hearing it was pretty cool.
- Shinsuke Nakumura. Probably has the best entrance, I still have the music stuck in my head. Basically a Japanese wrestler, dresses like a rockstar, does weird dance shit, is generally pretty weird, I love it.
- Randy Orton literallly RKO'd outta nowhere. He's still a boring wrestler but it made me laugh.
- The divas have more diversity. This was pretty awesome to see, we all know Vince McMahon has an infatuation with model looking girls that he can somehow creepily work into a storyline with him that ends up with him making out with them, or some sexual shit. But there was a more plus sized wrestler, and an alternative looking girl, you know like slightly goth vibes like the suicide girls models. That was sweet to see.
- Throwback adverts. Sometimes they'll play a throwback video during the adverts, like the moment John Cena made his debut against Kurt Angle. It's a nice little touch.
- Undertaker. The living legend. The venue went dark, his music starts playing and I get goosebumps. A dark figure emerges, starts walking down to the ring and i'm getting a rush of emotion, seeing one of my favourite wrestlers for the first time in so many years. Then it turns out it's not Undertaker, it's Dolph Ziggler impersonating and dressing like him. I got trolled heavy. Dolph you son of a bitch.
- Shane McMahon is still around. Last time I saw him he was young, wearing baggy clothes and throwing himself off of things. Now he's old as hell, bigger, and has a full head of grey hair. It's still awesome to see him still around, and he'll be having a hell in a cell match soon too.
- Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn. Two wrestlers I had no idea who they were, but they were being hyped up during the show to have the top match of the night, I didn't really give a shit they didn't look anything special, just average wrestlers. But then the match happened and it was the best match of the night by far. Most matches during the TV shows the wrestlers play very safe, nothing big, and you can really see how fake it is (obviously). But these two put on a hell of a match, Sami hurled himself over the ropes into Kevin, Kevin powerbombed Sami onto the edge of the ring, to the point where even I felt the impact and tensed up. Good shit.
- Adverts. So many fucking adverts. I'm pretty sure I watched more adverts than the actual program. I know they have to set the matches up and get ready, that i'm completely fine with. But they showed adverts during a match, the match shrunk, adverts took up 2/3 of the screen, and the rest of the screen was split in half of the match in a tiny box, and the Smackdown logo. How the fuck are you going to play ads during the match, TWICE. What the fuck America.
- Fast food adverts. Every 3rd advert was a fast food advert, the rest was insurance. I saw adverts for KFC, Burger King, Mcdonalds, Arby's, Taco Bell, about 3 different pizza chains. Jesus fucking christ. I hate to think how many fast food adverts I watched that night.
- The whole show was just a promo for the upcoming Hell In A Cell event. After every match the winner would grab a microphone and declare who they're going to fight at Hell In A Cell, or someone would come out and challenge the winner. It became very predictable, and pretty boring.
- Bad humour. When wrestlers have gone off-script and done their own promos, it's usually given some of the best laughs or best promos out there. Unfortunately there's not many that are allowed to go off-script, and thus we get given some awful shit to watch. Jinder Mahal is the champion of... something, I don't know there's the US championship, the WWE Universe championship, just so many belts that it kinda demeans the worth of a belt. It's the Oprah Show now bitch, you get a belt, you get a belt, and you get a belt! Ahem, anyways Jinder and his two goons were in the ring, Jinder would say "Here's Nakamura's face after I win", there'll be a pretty normal picture of Nakamura, the three in the ring would laugh heavily at it, and repeat this several times. It was painfully unfunny.
I'm not even going to mention Roman Reigns. Anyways does anyone still watch wrastling? After so long the format is still exactly the same as it was 15 years ago.
Although there was something fresh and exciting in the wrestling world. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, the Sharknado of wrestling, made by the widely beloved Hardy Boyz.