Tarabyte

I've been wanting to write a short story about the old coal mining towns of West Virginia for a while, and I was approached recently by a local publication to do so. I wanted a little feed back on the direction I'm going so far, because it's been a while since I've written a short story.

I can't trust my friends or family for actual criticism, so I'll try this.


It would be useful if you could tell me any emotions it provokes, if any.

Thanks in advance for any comments/criticism.


Just a small excerpt, not the entirety of what I have so far:




inb4 tl;dr It's a paragraph long. Seriously.